Little By Little
Chapter 2
William was up early and Buffy was on his mind.
‘That little bint has been poking about,’ William thought, glaring at the ceiling. After the lust that had clouded his eyes began to fade, he became angry.
‘Spike. She knew me as Spike.’
His thoughts went to Rupert first, thinking that his father had exposed his pathetic past with Drusilla that day along with the other childhood embarrassments.
‘No, dad would’ve asked me first.’
William then remembered, ‘What about the Mr. Clean routine Buffy had adopted lately? Shit, I wonder if she read my journals?’
William had been more than just a sensitive boy. He wrote poetry and short stories while the other boys played football. He was William the Bloody Awful Poet for at least two full decades. Until William was nineteen, he was positive that he would die the horniest virgin alive and he would have, if he hadn’t met Dru.
William had done well hiding his past from Joyce and he planned on hiding it from her nosy daughter as well.
***
Buffy woke up to pounding on her bedroom door. Before Buffy was completely awake she saw William walk into her room. Buffy was thanking God for the blankets that covered her exposed body. She hoped that time had covered the smells of her late-night activities.
“Are these your dirties, love?” He swooped up her clothes before she answered. “Today is wash day. Hurry and get in the shower, princess. You can throw out your clothes.”
William stood with her soiled underwear dangerously close to his face at the top of the pile of clothes. He ignored its smell as he watched her, daring her to reveal how naked he knew she was under the sheets.
Buffy lowered her blankets from her neck, disappointing him. She hadn’t taken off her shirt. She quickly pushed the fabric past her thighs and jumped out of bed. “I’m going, I’m going.” She grabbed her robe and walked past him into the bathroom.
William watched her, smirking. She hadn’t fallen for his trap and that somehow made him proud.
***
Buffy walked to Giles’ house because it was close to the cottage. She was confused by William’s strange behavior but her confusion was beginning to become a natural occurrence. William was very moody. She was relieved when he was called into work while making breakfast. Buffy thought he seemed to be feeling feisty, making her feel guilty.
‘God, I hope he really doesn’t know about…” Buffy blushed all morning that the possibility that William could’ve found out about her masturbating to his image.
Rupert was shocked to see Buffy when he answered the door. He had only seen William twice since the three of them had lunch. Both of their meetings had been difficult, resulting in lots of tears. “Buffy, is everything alright?”
“Things are good. I would’ve called but I don’t know your number and all.”
“Oh that’s fine, come in, dear.”
Buffy was not surprised by the appearance of Giles’ home. Books were everywhere. The numerous stuffed bookcases and shelving made his house smell musty and resemble a library. Buffy waited until they were both settled with their tea and pastries, before she started with her question. “Giles, who’s Dru?”
He choked on his pastry and jelly fell, covering his tweed coat. “Buffy – er -- you should really ask William about that.” He set down the remains of his food and cleaned most of the jelly off his coat with a napkin. He seemed not to worry about staining because he quickly pulled out his handkerchief and began to clean his spotless glasses.
“I know, but you see, I was cleaning the attic when I found a picture of William and this Dru girl. I don’t want William to think I was snooping or anything. Especially since I kinda was…”
“Buffy, I can’t. William’s very protective of his past and I will not betray his trust. I’m sorry.”
“That’s okay. I’m sorry I asked.” Buffy decided against using her Summers’ Sad Puppy Eyes. She knew if she would’ve Giles would have told her everything.
Giles felt guilty but stood by his morals as they spent the remainder of the day together.
***
“Buffy, we need to talk.”
Buffy jumped as she walked into the dark cottage. William was sitting on the couch and his hair seemed to glow eerily.
“God, William, creepy much?” Buffy’s mood had soured because of Giles’ withholding of information. William had scared her and that made her mad too.
“Come here, sit with me.”
She felt slightly queasy at his tone. Her heart picked up speed as she chose to sit on the opposite side of the couch, as far away from him as possible.
“Buffy, I have always lived alone. I was warming up to the idea of sharing my space with Joyce, but I’m still a loner. I know you’re young and you need to be constantly entertained.” He paused, moving to turn on the lamp near him, “I know nothing about kids, so I’m just going to give it to you straight. I don’t want you poking your nose in my business. I want to respect your privacy and I want you to respect mine. I think if that can be our golden rule, we’ll have no troubles. Ya got me, love?” William looked into her guilty face.
“William, I’m so sorry. I’ll be good, I promise.”
“That’s good. Now let’s go see that flick you wanted to see, with that boy.”
“You mean the one with James Marsters!”
“Yep, I hear he’s a real dream boat.”
***
The intervention had gone well, William hoped so anyway. Somehow he doubted all kids were scolded and then taken to the movies. William just couldn’t stand punishing Buffy and acting like her father. He knew something had to be said when Rupert had called him, telling him of Buffy’s question.
Buffy’s busybody tendencies were now focused outside the house. She visited Giles at work and went around town by herself. According to Giles, Buffy had made a few friends in town. William wasn’t sure if he should be concerned. Buffy seemed to really enjoy England and he hoped she wasn’t getting too attached. Joyce had jumped through hoops, helping Buffy get accepted to UC Sunndydale and he wanted to keep Joyce’s wishes alive.
William held his head as he sat at his computer. ‘Joyce probably wouldn’t want you wanking to her daughter’s image, you git.’
That night had ruined him. She was always sneaking into his thoughts. He had even started writing poetry again. His themes of course, were forbidden lust and unresolved sexual tension. Buffy was becoming his muse. She was a strong girl and fiercely independent. Her laugh was glorious and her smiles were contagious. William found himself looking forward to their ‘Movie Nights,’ and ‘Bad TV Nights,’ each week where they spent time together, eating and laughing. William cared deeply about her.
‘She is just a girl, you know,’ he reminded himself constantly.
That was the subject of most of his internal conflicts. She acted so mature, so much like Joyce sometimes. She could persuasively argue the greatness of post modernism in one breath, and then in the next, she would move to convincing him that Scooby Doo was the best cartoon of all time. ‘Why,’ he’d ask, ‘because I say so,’ was her logical explanation.
William was drowning. He knew he couldn’t pretend to be her father or even brother, when he was really her secret admirer.
He was drowning; he was falling in love with her.
***
Want you so much.
You have me.
***
“I’ll be back around midnight.”
“Wait, you. Get in here.”
Buffy walked in the kitchen, her heels making noise against the tile. She held her breath as William turned from his dirty dishes, a rag thrown over his shoulder.
“You are not wearing that,” he said, slowly.
“William--.”
“Nope. I’m not gonna listen.” He wagged her finger at her outfit. “I’m not going to let you prance about and show all the boys your goodies.”
“My goodies are fully clothed--.”
“Why don’t you wear that black shirt you made me buy?” He cleared his voice, getting ready to speak in an octave higher. “Please, buy this,” he mocked. “Please, it’s the cutest shirt I have ever seen, blah-blah-blah.”
“I do not sound like that and besides I wore that last weekend. This is a new weekend, mister. I must be seen in something new.” Buffy nodded at her last statement, making it sound very matter-or-fact.
“Change.”
Buffy turned at his tone. She muttered her newly adopted British curses as she stomped into her room.
“I heard that!”
***
Buffy had been dating Angel for over two weeks. He was her type; tall, dark, handsome and broody. Her relationship with him was going well even though her taste in boys was changing. Buffy started preferring Billy Idol look-a-likes, but Angel seemed nice and neither of them was interested in the long term, especially since she only had a month left until college.
“William, this is, Angel, my boyfriend.”
Angel could tell by the fire in William’s eyes that his handshake would not be returned, so he didn’t bother trying.
“Angel, now isn’t that a poncy name, huh?” William stared holes into the boy’s long forehead from across the restaurant booth.
Buffy hid her need to giggle. William was acting like a dog protecting his bitch and his actions gave her a warm fuzzy feeling. She decided to rile William up some more as she moved her hand to Angel’s thigh.
William almost snarled. He wasn’t sure who he wanted to attack; Angel, or Buffy for making him jealous.
“In school I had a funny little nickname, you know?” William grinned at Angel. “The kiddies in the schoolyard called me, ‘William the Bloody.’ That’s because I was a big bad…”
***
“I hope you’re proud of yourself. Angel will probably never call me ever again.” Buffy leaned over and grabbed a handful of Wheetabix from William’s bag.
“Hey, that’s mine.” He pretended to want to move away from her. He was actually very content sitting snuggly on the sunken couch with her. Buffy brushed more of him each time she snagged more of his snack and each time it gave him shivers. “That little bugger should fear me, you know--.”
Buffy cut him off. “Yeah, yeah you’re the Big Bad. Sometimes I think you’re nuts.” She gobbled down another handful of Wheetabix.
“Hush now, it’s back on.”
“I’m sure Angel will think you’re scary when he finds out you record a crappy show like Passions and watch it religiously.”
“If you think it’s so bad, leave.”
“Nope, I can’t let you off that easily. I must sit here and mock you. Besides, ever since they started putting Ethan in those nice tight shirts, he’s become really yummy.”
William gave her a look that made his eyebrow lift and his head cock to the side. Buffy’s heart started to beat irregularly. “Yummy, love?”
“Shut up. Watch your damn show.”
***
When William left for work, Buffy practically ran to her room. The house was getting empty and seeing its naked state made her uncomfortable. Buffy had plans for today. William wasn’t leaving the house very often. He was always watching TV or typing on his laptop, which he set up on the kitchen table.
William told her he’d be back for dinner. That meant she had at least half the day to herself.
Buffy pulled out a brown bag from her tiny closet and moved into the bathroom. She pulled out bubble bath, a portable stereo, CDs, and vanilla candles.
Buffy ran a bubbly bath and strategically placed the lighted candles so she could turn off the bathroom’s fluorescent lights and not be blind. She felt her face flush as she eyed the selected music before her. All the CDs were chosen with him in mind: all greatest hits albums of the bands William had mentioned. She wanted a mix of punk and the Brit pop he seemed to enjoy but never admitted to liking.
“God, I’m such a dork,” Buffy giggled.
After carefully choosing the first CD, and pushing the repeat button, she placed the stereo in a reachable location and dropped her robe around her toes. Buffy sighed loudly as the warm, scented water engulfed her.
‘This is the life.’
Buffy relaxed listening to the music and smelling the vanilla. She drifted off to sleep with William’s blue eyes on her mind.
***
“Hey, sweets.”
“William.”
“Wanna dance?”
“Of course. All we do is dance, William.”
Buffy took his outreached hand and allowed him to sweep her towards the dance floor. All details such as her clothing, his clothing, if people were surrounding them, were blurred. Buffy was aware of only William. He was all she could feel. Only his face came into complete focus.
Buffy let him hold her. His arms weaved around her small form and Buffy felt warm and loved. She hadn’t felt so complete since before her mom was diagnosed with the brain tumor. Buffy rested her head on William’s shoulder, surprised at how well their bodies fit together. They swayed together not following any dance technique. Buffy couldn’t hear any music except the beating of William’s heart.
***
Annoyance. Panic. Fear.
When William came home early, he was annoyed when her music was loud. He could hear its echo throughout the empty house. He recognized the accented squalling and couldn’t help but feel pride. She was picking up his curses and now his music preferences.
William walked up to the bathroom. “Turn your music down, pet.”
Buffy didn’t answer.
William tried banging on the door. The knob didn’t turn because it was locked.
‘Who locks the door when they’re the only one home?’
His panic turned to fear. ‘Maybe she slipped. That tile can get slippery. Maybe she still can’t hear me. Maybe she…’
It took William two charges before he crashed through the wooden door.
***
Buffy woke up in her bedroom. She was upset that her dream had ended, however she couldn’t recall what it was about.
‘It had been good though…’
“You’re awake, kitten.”
Buffy was confused. Her last complete thought was being in the tub. She registered that she was clothed in her warmest pajamas and her hair was damp. William was home and he was leaning against her doorframe. “Huh?”
He looked at her scrunched up features and walked into her room, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I found you in the water, blue and pruney skinned. You scared the life out of me, love.” His tone was gentle as he moved a damp blonde strand behind her ear. He knew she wasn’t noticing his shaking fingers. She looked so young in her puppy pajamas and as she looked up at him with wide eyes. The moment reminded him of every love song he had ever heard. ‘Take my breath away,’ ran over and over in his head.
“Oh, sod it all,” he muttered, leaning in and kissing Buffy.
***
Buffy thought she was going to die. He was moving towards her.
‘Oh. My. God.’
Buffy’s world slowed down, all her dreams were going to come true. William was going to kiss her.
Buffy closed her eyes and waited until she felt his lips.
***
‘You have got to be kidding me!’
Those were the phrases that pounded through Buffy’s mind, instantly giving her a headache. He had kissed her on the forehead, the kind of kiss a father gives to his daughter. She had sat in a disappointed shock, with her eyes still closed when he had pulled back. When she opened her eyes, she was alone.
Buffy sat on her bed, arms crossed; a pout on her face. She had never wanted something so bad before. He had denied her.
‘This means war.’
***
‘You bloody coward!’
William splashed cool water on his face, running wet fingers through his bleached locks. He had chickened out.
‘I wanted to kiss her. Hell, I needed to kiss her.’
He couldn’t take advantage of her though. He still didn’t know want had happened in the bathroom. His mind played cruel games with him making him think she was dead as he saved her. She was so blue, almost purple. He was sure he had lost her. Lost her, like he had lost Joyce.
‘Hey, at least I saw her naked.’
William glared at his reflection, disgusted with himself. He placed his fisted hands on each side of the sink for support. Guilt hit him--he’d seen Buffy’s reaction to being kissed, and she looked upset. William hoped she didn’t think he was playing games with her.
‘God, why am I so messed up? I shouldn’t even think about her, what about Joyce? I’m a bad, sick man. I don’t deserve her any way. She needs a normal kid, not a man twice her age. Not a man who planned on marrying her mom. She doesn’t need me. But I’m falling for her. Need to stay away from her. August. Can’t wait ‘til August. A little less than a month, that’s all.’
***
Buffy broke up with Angel so she could freely seduce her guardian. She had exactly two weeks before their flight back to California. The house Buffy and William were living in was sold and they’d be out of it in a week. After that they’d move in with Giles during their final days in England. Her major plans of attack would happen within the next week, she didn’t want to risk traumatizing Giles in his own home.
Buffy’s first stage of attack was innocence. He’d almost crumbled when he saw her after the bathtub incident. She planned on working her puppy dog eyes and quivering lip.
***
“William, you up?” Buffy called to him quietly, she had no intention for him to wake. “William,” she whispered, with a musical tone, moving closer to his bed.
‘Oh, God,’ Buffy almost whimpered aloud, ‘he’s breathtaking.’ She’d never seen so much of his pale, porcelain skin before. ‘Mmm, he sleeps naked.’ His chest was bare and a single sheet was draped across his waist and it rode dangerously low.
She looked at his alarm clock, 2:47 a.m., and touched his shoulder, ignoring the feelings that shot through her arm. She gently shook him, calling his name louder than before.
William groaned softly. He rolled over to his side, facing her.
‘Eeek!’ Buffy watched as the sheet revealed more of his backside to her. ‘Come on heart; don’t die on me now…’
“William!”
“Buffy...Buffy!”
***
William was dreaming. Dream Buffy was straddling him, seconds away from taking him deep inside her. He woke up moaning her name, waiting for Dream Buffy to give him the ride of his life.
William nearly died when he saw Real Buffy standing above him. He took everything in at once -- her shocked face covered by the shadows of the dark room, the sheet that was not covering his ass, and his hard cock that was forming a tent under the sheet.
‘I’m in hell,’ he thought groggily. “Buffy, what the hell are you doing in my bedroom!”
“I--you see--um.”
“Spit it out, now. Throw me my jeans, pet, and turn around.”
Buffy’s brain seemed to stop working. The knowledge of his erection and that he wasn’t wearing anything under his tight jeans was making her head spin.
“Buffy?” William’s tone was demanding an answer.
“I-I wanted to talk to you. I had a nightmare. The bathroom thing brought up memories, I think.” She talked quickly and rambled.
“Buffy.” William sighed her name and ran a hand through his hair. Buffy’s mouth watered at the sight of his curls. He usually tamed his hair with gel. “Come on, love. Let’s take this into the kitchen. I think I have some hot chocolate mix and those little marshmallows.”
***
“I drowned once, when I was eleven. I was at my friend Xander’s pool party. I went into the deep-end and no one saw me. The last thing I remember was bobbing in the water on my toes. I was considered dead for a minute. Xander saved me. We had a baby-sitting business so he knew CPR.” Buffy looked down at the foamy leftovers of her marshmallows. “Since then I haven’t been a water person. Buffy and water are not mixy things. I rarely take baths; mom wouldn’t let me. If I did, she would make me leave the door open and she’d play watch dog every ten minutes, checking for drowning.” Buffy tried to laugh, but failed. Her plan was failing. She couldn’t look at William without blushing, so she pretended that her, ‘Kiss the Librarian’ mug was fascinating. William hadn’t said much; he had only explained that the mug belonged to his father. He encouraged her to continue on by staying quiet.
“I needed a Me Day, you know? I was going to take a bath for a while, then watch sappy movies. I wasn’t suicidal or anything. I feel asleep in the tub and I woke up in my bed. You know the rest.”
She waited for William’s response to her confessions. He remained silent and got up from his chair. He took her empty mug with his and ran water in them, putting them in the sink.
“Thanks for telling me, love. Now if everything’s okay, I’d like to get more of my beauty sleep.”
Buffy nodded, feeling strange and not liking his tired tone. She quietly pushed in her chair and padded to her bedroom, leaving him alone.
***
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