Chapter 3

William was sitting outside, smoking, and watching the gray cloudy sky. “It’s gonna rain, love, why are you wearing that?”

“Why do you smoke when it‘s bad for you?” Buffy sat next to him, closing her jacket. His comments about her white halter bothered her slightly. She wanted the opposite to happen. She wanted him hot and bothered by her wardrobe.

“Got any plans, today?”

“Nope, Giles is busy.”

“What about the boyfriend? You could give him a ring.”

“We broke up earlier this week.”

“Oh? We should throw a party then.”

Buffy giggled and hit his arm. “He wasn’t that bad, well, except for all that brooding.”

“A regular Gloomy Gus, was he?” William played along, rubbing his arm.

“Yup, it was always, ‘my pain,’ or ‘my unhappiness.’ Blah. It got really old, really quick.”

“You dumped him, yeah?”

“Of course, do you really have to ask?”

William shrugged in response, relieved that they were on friendly terms after the night before. “Today’s Wednesday, pet. Maybe we could expand Bad TV Night into Bad Movie Day? I hear a new independent cinema popped up across town...”

“That sounds great,” Buffy hopped to her feet. “Let me get my purse!”

Buffy couldn’t seduce him. She didn’t have the guts.

After choosing the sexiest sounding movie title, she insisted on leaving her coat in the car with the intention of showing off her body to William.

Everything backfired. The movie was something comparable to foreign porn and she didn’t feel sexy watching it next to William with her red face and stubborn, hardening nipples.

‘I don’t feel sexy. I feel like a ho.’

William had to readjust himself many times during the movie. More than once his circulation was cut off at his jeans. He paid no attention to the screen; Buffy soaked up all of his attention. He tried to look forward and allowed his peripheral vision to feast on her loveliness.

‘God bless that little shirt.’

He was right at predicting the weather and Buffy was still coatless when the rains began. William offered his jacket to cover up with but she refused, making him upset and confused by her actions. He made sure as they walked through the theater’s lobby that she hugged the popcorn bucket to her chest, hiding her perky breasts from greedy eyes, including his own.

‘She’s mine,’ he growled silently, making a point to glare at every male they came in contact with.

William looked heavenward and rolled his eyes once he realized what they were watching. Buffy looked queasy during the entire ninety minutes. She wiggled in her chair, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs. Each of her movements caused a ripple effect and William felt himself harden at each bounce and shake.

“Damn it, princess, if you don’t put on this jacket, I’ll throw you over my shoulder and drag you to the car.”

In the De Soto, William glared at her. “What the hell was that all about?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking--.”

“Stop.” He raised his hand, quieting her. “Give me my coat. Put yours on and if I see even an inch of white, I don’t know what I’ll do.”

William drove in silence and when they reached the house, Buffy walked to her room and closed the door.

William sat at the kitchen table, still boiling. She was killing him. His body wasn’t under his own control around her. He felt like a horny teenager and feared that he was slipping back into his Spike persona. It took all of his restraint to stop him from mauling Buffy in the car. He wanted her so badly.

‘Fuck, I need a drink.’

Buffy woke up at her usual time. She and William were going to move in with Giles and she was looking forward to it. She walked into the kitchen in her thin tank top and pajama bottoms, not sure if William was home and not caring that her robe was still on her bedroom floor.

“I can see your goodies, kitten.”

Turning with the milk carton in her hand, she was shocked to see William, who was giggling on the floor, behind the kitchen table.

“William, what are you doing down there?” She moved towards him, bending down, not bothering to hide her chest from him. William squealed like a little boy and continued to laugh, pointing at her.

“Holy crap, William. Have you been drinking?”

As he adamantly shook his head no, Buffy stepped away and winced, looking into the kitchen trashcan, which was overflowing with empty booze bottles.

‘This is what Giles warned me about,’ she panicked, putting her hands in her hair.

“Come on, William, let’s, eh, let’s get you in your room.” Feeling awkward, she grabbed his upper arm and struggled to pull him to his feet. “God, you’re heavy.”

“I’m not William, kitten, I’m Spike. I’m a bad, rude man...a bad, sick man.”

“Okay, sorry Spike. Do you think you could help me a little? Can you stay on your feet?” He babbled incoherently, his body remaining limp. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.”

Buffy had stayed at his side until he passed out, then out of boredom, she decided to watch television.


She frowned at his sad, raw voice and went directly into his room where William was stretched out on the bed. She again covered him in the blanket he had kicked away and sat next to him.

“Joyce,” he whined, shuffling in his sleep.

“William.” She moved to stroke his face, but hesitated, not sure how he’d react.


“Spike. Sorry, I forgot.” Biting her lip, Buffy carefully placed her hand on his back. “Is this ok, Spike?”

“I’m so lost, pet,” William sobbed, his face twisted in pain.

“Tell me about it?” she said, softly, running her fingers down his spine and across his shoulders.

“I love her, Joyce. Don’t hate me, but I do.”

Buffy held her breath and froze.

He moved side to side, demanding her to continue touching him.

“Who? Who do you love, Spike?” Buffy croaked out her questions, closing her eyes as her chin trembled.

“Buffy, pet. I ache for her. I love her.”

Tears ran down her face and her heart swelled. She continued to comfort him until he fell soundly asleep again.

“I think I love you too.”

“Bloody sodding buggering hell!” William ran to the bathroom before he threw up, almost tripping over Buffy, who was sleeping on the floor next to his bed.


“In here, pet, at least what’s left of me.”

“I think I’ll wait until you are done. Do you need anything?”

“Maybe some aspirin, love, and some water.”

“Ok, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

Buffy closed the blinds as William walked in, looking ragged and rubbing his eyes. He sat down and took the pills and downed water that was on the table.

“So, you owe me an explanation.”

William looked down, embarrassed.

“Giles told me about your drinking. Have you been boozing it all along? I defended you, you know? God, I am such an idiot!” Buffy slammed down the water pitcher, making William hiss and grimace.

“Ah, pet, not so loud. Give me a minute.”

“Your minute is up. Talk.” She sat in the chair next to him and grabbed his elbows, forcing him to look at her.

He tried to move back but was still too groggy. “What do you wanna know?”

“Let’s start easy. What happened last night?”

“That’s not easy. Pass, next question.”


“I had to clear my head, alright? You’re driving me bonkers, you know that?”

“Me! You’re telling me it was my fault!”

“Shhh, not so bloody loud, princess.” William pointed to his pounding head. “Of course, it was your fault. You’re gonna be the death of me and you very well know it.” He looked at her and sighed at her grumpy face and crossed arms. “So beautiful,” he mumbled.


“Oh, nothing.”

“William,” she growled.

“Right, right, you bossy bint. I never thought I would care about you so much, Buffy. I knew since you were Joyce’s daughter, you couldn’t be a total bitch, but anyway, yesterday I got pissed because I’m supposed to be your bloody father-figure and I wasn’t exactly thinking of you…in a fatherly way.”


“Yes and I can’t lie, pet, not to you. I think you’re brilliant, charming, so strong…”

Buffy didn’t know what to say as he continued his list. His eyes grew cloudy as he praised her. ‘He really likes me. He loves me…’

“…but I can’t do anything about these feelings. It would be wrong. Sick even.”

“Huh? What?”

“You’re seventeen, love, and I’m near forty and not to mention, I should be your step-dad.”

“But you’re not and my birthday’s next week.”

“Oh, is it? That’s--shit, it doesn’t matter!” He wouldn’t allow himself to enjoy the fact that she would be of legal age in a few days.

“I guess you’re right, we’d be wrong…immoral even,” Buffy said, her stomach doing flips. “Really wrong, uber wrongness there. I’m sorry I drove you to drink. Damn my sinister attractiveness.”

“Now, Buffy I--.”

“No, I totally understand. I make you sick.” She refused to cry in front of him, even though he had broken her heart and hurt her feelings. “I make you bonkers. I’ll have to stop that I guess. I’m so sorry. I...I really didn’t want to make you drink again.”

William looked like she had punched him with her teary eyes and sarcasm. “Buffy, before, I drank because…I don’t know…I was different then.”

“You were Spike then, right? Oh, don’t worry, Giles didn’t tell me your secrets. I saw pictures, but that is beside the point. Last night, you demanded that I call you Spike.”


“I have no idea how mom put up with you! That skanky ho really messed you up, huh Spikey?”

“Buffy, don’t call your mother that!”

“I’d never-I was talking about that girl -- Dru the skanky ho -- you jerk! I can’t talk to you anymore!”

Buffy got up and angrily walked out the front door.

“What? Oh hey, dad. No, I’ve no idea where she is. Yes, I checked there. Yeah, give them a ring for me. I’m worried too. I know. I know, damn it! Fine, I’ll be over tonight.”

“Rough day, blondie?”

William turned off his cell phone and didn’t look at the waitress who hadn’t stopped flirting with him since he sat at the table. “Yeah, can I get the rest of this to-go, pet?”

“Sure, cutie.”

Buffy had been gone for over twenty-four hours and William was a wreck.

“Here you go, sweetie.”

His brow scrunched at the annoying waitress. He squinted until he read her nametag. “Harmony, pet, have you seen a girl around here, she’s about this high, real cute, blonde hair, kinda long, an American like you?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Harmony chewed on her press-on fingernail. “Let me think, mmm… Oh, yeah, I saw a girl like that when I was clubbing last night. Bitsy? Biffy? Anyway, you should so go there sometime, the Bronze is totally hot. Oh! Definitely Betty, right? I saw her outfit on at least three other girls. If you see her, tell her she’s definitely making us Americans look bad. I mean, has she even heard of Gucci, come on. Anyway--.”

“God, love, shut up. Where’s the club? Who was she with?”

“You’re really hot, you know that?”

“I’m old enough to be your father, love.”

“Ewww! Old guys aren’t supposed to be dreamy. Damn, you’re too dreamy.” Harmony stomped her foot and began to pout.

“Tell me where she was.”

He needed to find Buffy. He needed her.

“Eww! Get off!” Buffy woke up to hands trying to unhook her bra. She rolled off the bed, disgusted with Angel. “I told you no boinking!”

“But, Buffy--.”

“Thanks for the place to sleep. I gotta go.” Buffy quickly ran out of Angel’s creepy, dark apartment.

William got the address from a nerdy boy named Andrew, who worked as a janitor at the Bronze. It seemed that Andrew had a crush on Angel and had a second job as Angel’s stalker. William wished the couple success. He was charging up the stairs when he saw her. Buffy’s face was rosy and she was buttoning her shirt as she bounced down the stairs.

‘What did she do? Did she fuck him to get back at me?’ William stopped going up the flight of stairs and waited for her on the ground level. Buffy almost ran through him. “Watch where you’re going, pet, a bloke could get hurt.”

Buffy’s heart was pounding as she watched William drive. She saw a blue vein pop out above his scarred eyebrow.

‘He’s gonna bust. I am so dead. Just look at his face…’ Buffy felt guilt wash over her. ‘He looks so mad that I left him.’

“I met Drusilla when I was at a party; my heart had just been trampled on by Cecily, that bitch.” William shook his head as if remembering suddenly. He never looked at Buffy as he spoke; his eyes were glued on the road. “I was a desperate, bad excuse of a man. A waste of fucking space. But Dru seemed to like me even though I was William the Bloody Awful Poet. No girl before her had given me any attention, not even a crumb. Sure Dru was a little nuts; always talking to her dollies and all, but I was under her spell. I never thought Drusilla would hurt me. We were going to be together forever, you see. All was good until I found her fucking some wanker in our bed. Damn, was he a disgusting, slimy bloke. I loved her so much. I took her back, of course, because I didn’t want to be lonely again. Ha! Sometimes I wish she would’ve just chopped off my head to stop the pain, but no, she continued to cheat and lie. She’d always say I made her feel… whatever the bloody hell that meant - I bought it, nevertheless… Hell, I let her use me and I was aware of it. I started drinking then. It dulled the pain; it dulled my heart. One night I came home drunk and she told me she wasn’t in the mood.”

Buffy noticed she had no idea where he was taking her. She doubted that he knew either. His eyes were full of tears.

“I forced myself on her. I would’ve taken her on the bloody bathroom floor. I would’ve raped her but somehow I snapped out of my daze. But, fuck, Dru looked so scared. I’d terrified her. I couldn’t face her or my shame so, I ran like a ponce, to dad. Back home. I was intent on living alone and dying alone, until I met Joyce. She never knew, you know? I never told her I was a bad man; that I was practically a rapist, and now I can add pedophile to the fucking list. She would have been proud.”

William suddenly pulled off the road, stopping the car. For the first time he looked at Buffy, his eyes heartbreaking and embarrassed. “Now you know all about me, pet. You are gonna leave me, aren’t you?”

Buffy moved quickly, unhooking her seatbelt and shifting towards him until he was in her arms. She sighed in relief as he accepted her embrace.

William sobbed, holding her tightly.
Don’t leave me.


“William, it’s getting late. Where are we?” she whispered, running her fingers through his hair.

He slowly opened his puffy eyes and then shut them tightly, refusing to move his head and enjoying the pillow her chest made for him.

‘Buffy’s chest,’ he thought and snuggled closer, ‘Mmm, chest of Buffy.’


“Just a few more minutes, kitten. I’m basking here.” He was stretched out along the bench seat, laying on his side, between her legs, and his head buried in her cleavage.

‘This is like the best dream ever, even better than Manchester United winning the cup…’ William slowly moved his arm from his side and found the hand closest to him and curled it to his lips, placing kisses on every other of her knuckles. When he ran out of knuckles, he moved to her thumb. Buffy let out a tiny moan as he sucked and nibbled on the finger.

William was delighted to hear her response to his actions. Shifting downwards so he could rest his head on her thigh, he made an exaggerated inhale, “You smell so sweet, my Buffy.”

Buffy felt another rush between her legs and unseen muscles involuntarily clenched. She closed her eyes. ‘His Buffy. God, don’t let me die.’

He drew on her skin, making circles and patterns while brushing against her lightly. Then he lifted his head and shifted his body until he was given better access to the fabric of her shorts. Buffy moaned again as he slid a finger under them, traveling along the hem.

He looked up, a smirk on his face. Buffy’s eyes widened at the sight of his dilated, lust-filled eyes. She nodded, chewing on her lower lip and grabbing onto the leather seat. Going down once again, he pushed up her pant leg to expose another inch of golden skin. He licked a line up her thigh and close to where her underwear was resting. He kissed and playfully bit her leg, causing Buffy to squirm in anticipation. With shaking fingers, he unbuttoned her shorts and once he was about to pull down the zipper, the sound of sirens halted his actions.

William sat and anticipated the police officer’s arrival. ‘Good timing, mate.’

He manually rolled down the window, taking off his jacket and resting it in his lap. “Is there a problem officer?”

“I was going to ask you the same question, sir. Is there a reason why you’re parked in the center medians?”

“Center median?”

“It's not very safe.”

“I understand, you see my, ah, daughter and I were just out for a drive and I got sleepy you see-.”

“I’m not his daughter,” Buffy said, angrily, her body language screamed her unhappiness. “He’s my legal guardian. My mom died not too long ago.”

“I'm so sorry to hear about that. You poor little thing.”

“We were just getting ready to leave, weren’t we, pet?”


“That’s good. Have a nice evening.”

“Sodding Rent-a Cop,” William mumbled as he pulled the car onto the road. “Where the hell are we?”

William drove in unknown territory and wondered if there was a casual way that he could release the pressure that threatening to bust the zipper of his jeans. He took a sideways glance at Buffy and frowned from guilt.

“Buffy, we need to talk.”

“Do we?”

“Yeah, we do, about back there…I’m sorry.”

“That’s good to know, that you’re sorry. William, you jumped away from me like you were caught cheating with a hooker or something. Then you call me your daughter. Your daughter!”

“Well, what was I supposed to say? 'Yes, officer you see, I was just seconds away from fingering and orally pleasing my wife’s underage daughter. Yeah, you really coulda had a great show. My wife? She doesn’t mind. Why? She passed on a few months ago.'”

“Shut up.”


“You regret it, don’t you?”


“Oh, well...good.”
“We're here, pet." Buffy opened her eyes to see the gaudy neon lights. “We’ll stay here just for tonight, love and then we’ll be off to dad’s in the morning.”

Buffy didn’t say a word.

“What a shithole!” William announced over Buffy’s squeals.

“Oh, there’s another one!” The first bug had broken Buffy’s silence. Now she was standing on an unsteady wooden chair, screaming and pointing at each bug she saw.

“When was I deemed the bloody exterminator?” William squished another large black bug under his boot.

“You’re the Big Bad, remember?”

“Sure, goldilocks, you just stay on your chair and the Big Bad will protect you from the demon buggies.”

She rolled her eyes. “Goldilocks now? God, how do you keep on coming up with all those nicknames, I mean--ew! Ew! Over there!”

“Sod sleep. We’re leaving.”

It was music to Buffy’s ears, she practically ran to the De Soto. "Thank God."

“Do you drive, love?” William said as he buckled his seatbelt. The mood was lighter and his voice was raspy due to the fact that he had spent the last hour laughing at Buffy. He fell more in love with her each time she yelled and squirmed, scared to death because of a few bugs.

“Define drive. If you mean hit everything in sight with the aid of heavy machinery, sure I drive.”

“Remind me to never let you borrow my car, okay, love?”

“Okay,” she answered, smiling.

Buffy was determined not to fall asleep because she knew William was struggling to stay awake. “Wanna play a game?”

“What kind of game?”

“How about Either Or?”


“I give you two choices, like…um, macaroni and cheese or wheels and cheese. All you do is say which one you like better.”

He nodded, “Sounds easy enough.”

“Ok, we will take turns asking. Me first. The Beatles or The Sex Pistols?”

William frowned. “What kind of question is that? How could anyone choose between Lennon/McCartney and Johnny Rotten? I have no idea…”

Buffy’s giggles filled the car. “I’ve never seen someone use so much concentration during this game! You’re so, so predictable.”

“I don’t wanna play anymore.”


“Nope, I’m not gonna let you trick me into dissing one of the two greatest bands of all time. Nice try, kitten. I’m not playing.”


William felt his pants grow uncomfortable again as she crossed her arms and stuck out her lower lip.

Buffy. Buffy. Buffy. Mine.

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