Chapter 14
Waking up in bed, William’s head was pounding, trying to recall if he had been drunk last night. Last night… it came back to him in a rush… his in-laws… Prue… Buffy… Oh God Buffy, what had he done.
He lay in bed, arms thrown against his forehead. This wasn’t his day he had made a mess of everything. He wished he could fall back to sleep again and wake up realizing that everything was just a dream. But he couldn’t, because he knew it wasn’t and now he had to deal with the consequences of what he had done.
As he hauled himself into the shower he thought of all the things he should do today, what’s the first on the agenda? His stomach growled as if to answer his question. First thing, eat something. But he didn’t really feel like shoving anything inside him, like in just a couple of minutes it’s just going to come right back up again. But nonetheless he’s stomach was starving. He dried himself off and got himself dressed before agonizingly making his way down the stairs
Just before he took his first step, he looked to his left, down the hall he saw Prue’s door open ajar. He knew there was a chance that Buffy could be there. He probably should talk to her, but he didn’t know how. He knew he should apologize for everything he had said last night but he couldn’t bring himself to. Suddenly as if his legs were walking on their own, he saw himself nearing her room. As he entered the threshold he saw that the room was bare, she couldn’t have left could she? Not that she didn’t have the right to. The way he spoke to her, the words he had said… even he would want to leave him.
Then he saw Prue on her crib, she was standing, holding onto the rail for support, once she saw him her face gleamed and quickly said her greeting extending her hands up on the air asking for him to pick her up.
He walked over to her cautiously and hauled her up in his arms, he hugged her tightly. All this time he tried to deny that anything was wrong, actually that was false. From the moment he knew that he could lose Prue, he had visibly pulled away from her. Not wanting to get close, shutting himself off, because that way the pain would be less. If he pretended that she was just another person that he had to live with for the time being, and then it would be easier, he wouldn’t have to feel too much hurt if they take her away. But now it was already too late. He had already cared for her, accepted her as part of his life, he had learned to love her much as he had learned to fall in love with…
“Buffy,” William saw her enter the room, carrying a pile of folded laundry. For the first time in a long time, he became speechless, he didn’t know what to do, what to say.
“I’ll come back later,” Buffy began to retreat, it might seem a bit childish but she really didn’t want to talk to him, aside from that fact that she didn’t know what to tell him or how she should act towards him. Some part of her wanted him to apologize, to tell her that he didn’t mean any of what he had said, that everything was going to be alright. For short she wanted reassurance, assurance from him that things haven’t change between them.
“Buffy,” he called after her retreating figure, ‘Say it you git! Just tell her!’ “You should stay… I’m leaving anyway…” William placed Prudence on the floor beside his leg, she immediately look interest in the big stuffed animal on her left, crawling her way over to it.
“Oh…Okay…” Buffy nodded and walked over to the closet, placing the newly folded clothes in.
“So I’m gonna be busy in the office today… probably won’t be home until after dinner. You’ll tell Joyce?” He tried to come up with something better to say but he couldn’t find the right words. This couldn’t possibly be the right time to apologize.
Buffy didn’t seem to be paying him much attention as she was busy stacking the clothes up on the closet.
“Luv?”
“Yeah! Of course.” William almost walked up to her but halted when she immediately answered too chipper for his comfort.
“You know where to reach me if you need anything,” Buffy nodded, back still turned to him. “I better head off then…”
“Uh huh…” was her only reply as William retreated back down the hall.
As soon as she was sure that William was out of ear shot Buffy turned back to find Prudence hunched over one corner of the room seemingly very interested in her pink covered wall.
“Prue, baby,” Prue took the time and looked back Buffy’s way, “Come over here,” she urged her as she sat on the middle of the room, extending her arms out for her to reach.
“Buppy! Buppy!” she chanted as she crawled her way over to her nanny, face gleaming.
As soon as she was in the safety of Buffy arms, she scanned the room, worry etched on the little girl’s face. “Dada?” she frantically looked around. “Dada? Gone?”
“Yeah, princess…” she held her a bit tighter, “Daddy’s gone…” she looked near to tears as she buried her head in Buffy’s hair. “Shh… It’s okay, he’ll be back…”
Prue lifted her head, eyes boring into Buffy. Her tiny hand came up to cup Buffy’s cheek, eyes twinkling as if she perfectly understood how Buffy was feeling and then she did the most unexpected thing, she kissed her then placed her head back into Buffy’s shoulder.
For the first time that day, Buffy smiled as she held her little charge tighter, “I’m gonna miss you…” she whispered.
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“And she tells me the fucking examiner was there!” William half-shouted into the phone as she paced the confines of his office. He had been retelling Angel the predicament they were in and if his head wasn’t already pounding he’d think there somebody dropped something heavy on the top of him.
“Uh huh,” was Angel’s reply, seemingly very calm about the whole situation.
“Peaches! Are you listening to me? I’ve been yapping in here for the last hour and you have nothing else better to say than a bloody ‘uh huh’?”
“Will, calm it.” Angel tried to rationalize. William’s attitude was getting out of hand. He was letting blind panic get to him and those things would help neither of them.
“I can’t calm it!” William answered, almost breathless. Retelling yesterday’s event had made his nerves shake once again. The reality of the situation was fast catching up with him and he didn’t know what to do. “I don’t wanna lose her…” he whispered too softly as if he didn’t say it, it would mean that this whole thing wasn’t as real as he made it to be.
Silence befell on the line as neither said anything, “I know Will… and you won’t. You have my word.” Angel assured him, it was the least he could do.
“Anyway, the whole thing is nothing, nothing to keep you up in your toes or anything. Yeah… leverage for them but it’s a tiny thing nothing to really worry about…” he explained calmly, that little incident won’t stop them from winning custody. He made a living out of this and he damn well is gonna win this case if not for William the just to wash that smug smile off of Lindsay’s face.
“Unless of course, there’s something else you’re not telling me…”
“What!... of course not… why would I keep anything…”
“Good then everything’s perfectly fine… no worries.”
“Okay… you better be bloody sure of that…”
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Prue was tucked in, her room was sparkling clean and every single toy had been put away, she was tired. Buffy didn’t think she got any sleep last night, she just lied in bed eyes closed but achieved no rest. She thought it would be best if she catch herself a nap while Prue was snoring away in her bed. With the monitor in one hand Buffy decided to make her way over to the little cottage at the back of the mansion she and Willow shared. Just as she was walking through the garden she suddenly felt tears pricking the back of her eyes.
She took a deep breath, trying to force it back down, she had cried way too much already last night. She was all cried out if she do say so herself. But the tears didn’t seem to want to go away as they began tracking down her cheeks. She sniffled a little wiping her face with the back of her hand before she entered the cottage.
As soon as she got inside, she broke down, leaning on the back of the door sliding down on to the floor. She didn’t notice Willow who was sitting on the lounge. As soon as the redhead saw her cousin on the floor body curled up into a ball. She quickly ran to her side putting a hand around her trying to give as much comfort as she can to her. She didn’t know what was wrong with Buffy but that wasn’t really important right now, as she held her tighter rocking her back and forth.
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William sat in his office, deafening silence engulfed the room. There was a pile of work sitting right in front of him yet he didn’t seem to care or pay attention to it. His mind was thinking of something else, he may very well be in his own little world.
Angel had said that there was nothing to worry about, but he can’t help but worry himself, these things have a way of biting you in you ass if you let your guard down. Things may seem to be all perfect right now but you never know when the next thing would come out and surprise you.
He tried to think of something else but nothing seems to come to him, all that plague his mind was last night’s incident. He had really treated Buffy like she didn’t matter. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt right now, guilt was creeping up to him and here he thought he loved her.
Just then he realized, he loved her… through all this he realized he loved her… he never expected that. But it really didn’t matter… she hated him. He screwed everything up just like he always does. Why does he never realize what’s in front of him until it was too late… or maybe it isn’t too late just yet.
With that thought in mind he picked up his phone.
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Having cleaned herself up and finally getting herself together, Buffy sat on the lounge with Willow a pot of tea between them. She had just finished retelling her cousin the whole reason behind her little episode a while ago.
“Oh God… he never told us…”
“I didn’t think he told anyone really, probably didn’t want you guys to worry as long as he could have taken care of it.”
Willow agreed with a nod, she was still trying to process the information she had heard. Finally she understood William; that was probably why he had pulled back from Prue a little bit after Drusilla died, he didn’t want to relive the pain he had felt when Dru was taken away from him. “Poor him… So what do you want to do?”
“I’m gonna leave.”
“What?” Willow jumped from her seat, “You’re gonna what?”
“I’m going to leave.”
“But I thought you already rejected that job offer at Lakeside?”
“Yeah, I did.” Buffy rose from her seat, taking the pot and cups with her, trying to busy herself. She knew what was coming; Willow would want an explanation on why she suddenly decided that she was gonna leave. She didn’t feel like she needed to explain herself to anyone right now. She can do whatever she wanted to, she was a grown woman… it didn’t matter that she didn’t really have a good reason for her departure. “I can try and see if it were still available but… I doubt it.” She tried to smile at Willow but her cousin didn’t seem to be buying it. “Probably just go back to the US, there has got to be something there for me.” The truth was that she didn’t really think she could stay in the same city with William right now. It would be hard enough trying to forget the whole Bennedict household, but to risk running into any of them anytime soon wouldn’t really make her pain any less.
“You can’t leave, Buffy…”
“I don’t want to, Will.”
“Then why?” Buffy was about to answer when Willow cut in, “If it’s about what William had said, you do know he probably didn’t mean it… actually I know he didn’t mean it.” Willow walked over to Buffy at the kitchen island. “Buffy, you can’t just pack up and leave… he would be devastated, not to mention Prudence…”
At the mention of her charge’s name, Buffy’s heart immediately went out to her. “I know…” But she need not worry about Prue anymore; William would always be there for her, that much she knew. “But I can’t stay here, Willow. I just can’t. This was a temporary thing in the first place. Everything is better now… William treasures Prue like she’s everything to him. Things would be fine if I leave.”
“You have to give him another chance,” Buffy thought she had given him a chance and look at where it got her. “You can’t leave him now, he needs you.”
“What he needs is someone who can take care of his daughter, and it was apparent last night that it wasn’t me.”
“That’s not all you are to him.”
“Let’s not kid ourselves, Willow… I’m nothing to him, just someone who happened to be there with him; probably felt like he needed to thank me properly or something.” Buffy didn’t really like how Willow was breaking down everything for her to see. She didn’t need to know about who she was in William’s eyes, what’s important is that she had made up her mind. “But don’t worry, Will. I’m not gonna do a runner on them. I care still too much for Prue,” ‘and him’ she silently told herself she’d be damn if she let them know how she truly felt. “I’m gonna give him my two weeks notice… help find a replacement nanny. It’d be fine.”
“Buffy! Are you in here?” A call came from their door; it opened to reveal Giles behind. The occupants of the room turned to him in attention, “I need to talk to Buffy.”
“Come in, Giles” Buffy ushered him in, looking at Willow relaying that it was the end of discussion. She was actually glad that Giles came in when he did, she didn’t think she could take in more of Willow’s interrogation. “What’s up?”
“Umm…” Buffy motioned for Giles to sit but he politely declined, “Actually, someone has asked me to escort you somewhere.”
“Who?” Willow, coming out from the kitchen, asked intrigued.
“Where?”
“Those questions are both very relevant… but it’s not important right now. All I was asked to do was to take you and to not tell where our destination might be.”
“Whoa Giles! You’re getting all cryptic on me.” Buffy joked as she gave Willow an amused smile. It was pretty obvious who Giles was receiving his orders from. She knew she should probably decline the offer but it was very intriguing what he could possibly have put Giles up to.
“Yes well…” Buffy looked at Willow as if asking if she should go, and she just answered her with a shrug.
“I think we better be leaving.”
“Now?”
“Yes, I believe so.”
“Well… okay then,” Buffy shrugged as she followed Giles out the door, “Oh Willow?”
“Yes, I’ll look out for Prue.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at her before trailing off to follow Giles.
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“So where are you taking me, Giles?” Buffy asked for the hundredth time. She had tried to sat patiently and wait just like a good little lady. But with the silence, curiosity was getting to her. She had been trying to get something out of Giles but the old man wouldn’t budge, not even a bit. “Come on, can’t you spare me a little bit of a clue?” Giles just looked at her, and finally she gave up.
She sat at her seat in the front, looking out the window. They’d been driving for at least half an hour; she’d reckon they were already a bit outside of town. Her mind was wildly curious now on what William was up to. But she made herself believe that whatever it might be, she wouldn’t let it affect her decision.
As Giles pulled up into a stop, he walked over to Buffy’s side of the car opening the door for her. She stepped out, finally relived to have her legs stretched out. The structure before her suddenly caught her eye. Standing before her was a flower farm, Giles ushered her to enter.
She walked down a path, beside her were vines blossoming with flowers, as she continued to walk down to her destination, she could practically smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers calling to her.
At the end she came upon a circular patch, every corner there was a flower blooming, some she already knew some she had never even seen. Walking around, she in her surroundings, taking in every blossom, it was simply beautiful.
“I wanted to give you all of these, luv but I couldn’t possibly bring them all, so I thought I’d bring you to them instead.” She turned to the voice behind her. He had his usual cocky grin in place but his eyes showed it all.
“A petal for my petal,” he held a single long stem rose out to her.
“Yours?”
“If you’d allow me to, yes.”
to be continued...
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for everyone who reviewed! I'm so glad you all loved the last chap. And to Britney, thanks for the e-mail and I hope this was fast enough for you. :) Reviews are greatly appreciated!