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Author's Chapter Notes:
I know I have not updated it forever... and any excuse I tell you won't really make up for it but hey here's the new chapter. Hope you enjoy. BTW, thanks for all those who reviewed! You guys always make my day
*----*----*---- 4 months later*----*----*----*

In the cold autumn night, he walked the across the green grass, his little girl holding onto to his hand as they crossed the cemetery grounds.

He hadn’t come to see her in such a long time, he had been busy… he knew it was no excuse but he also knew that she would understand. His dark princess… God, how much he had missed her. First he tried to forget, try to block her from his memory but as the days and months pass he knew he shouldn’t… it would have been wrong. He couldn’t, she had been a big part of his life. They both had. Both women he loved and both woman he lost… he’d let himself love again but he would never forget them.

Slowly he sat down in front of the familiar gravestone, letting his little girl sit on his lap. He bent over placing the flowers in the middle, tracing her name with the tip of his fingers. He took in a ragged breath as he tried to hold his emotions in, fighting back the tears that are threatening to fall. No matter how long it had been since he had lost her it still felt the same, it still felt painful but he needed to be strong for his little princess was with him, he needed to be strong for her.

“Prudence,” she looked up at him from her position in his lap. “There’s your mommy…”

“Mommy…?” she repeated the word much like she always did whenever somebody talked to her but with a little hint of a question. Like she didn’t know what was in front of her could possibly be considered this word her father had said.

“Yeah… princess. Mommy… she loved you very much…” he trailed off as he felt tears pricked behind his eyes. He let a few fall wiping it with the back of his hand. As soon as he had gathered himself together, he took from his coat pocket a leather bound journal, opening it in front of him and Prudence.

He had made a habit of reading Drusilla’s journal day to day since the day he acquired it. It was a new insight into her views… sometimes it made him cry sometimes it made him mad and sometimes it made him laugh nevertheless it was something to keep her fresh in his mind, something to remember her by.

Dated October 6, 1999…

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

October 6, 2005

Buffy held the piece of paper in her hand as she sat outside the porch that night. The letter had been with her for the last couple of weeks, she hadn’t wanted to read it because she knew whatever it was it’d just make her remember. But she doesn’t need a letter to let her remember what she was desperately trying to forget… she couldn’t.

She had continued to live her life; she had gotten a job at the local hospital and a nice little place in the quiet side of town. She couldn’t have asked for anything more… but she was.

She had found the letter with her junk mail one morning, she had placed it in the middle of the coffee table and sat just staring at it, deciding if she would open it or not. She knew whom it came from and she was pretty sure she knew the message it held. In the end she decided not to open it, leaving it inside her kitchen drawer before she left for work. She told herself she’d get rid of it; she didn’t want to read it… she didn’t want to know. It was pretty easy for her to just throw it in with the trash, toss it into the fireplace or just simply lose it… but she didn’t.

And now sitting in her porch, she didn’t know what compelled her to get the letter from it’s hiding place… after weeks of fighting with herself, did she want to read it all along… the answer to that was pretty obvious as she tore the envelope open.

First she saw a picture inside, it was of Prudence, taken on the lawn… she was in the middle of a pile of leaves just like when she was smaller the first week she had taken care of her.

As she stared at the picture, for the first time since she had left England she let the tears fall. Keeping herself together she placed the picture aside making a mental note to place it on top of her mantel with the other photographs she had held dearly. And as she opened the piece of paper, her eyes rapidly read the words he had written but only one thing stayed with her.

I said I’d only ask it once… but I asked you twice, so what the hell I’m gonna ask you again. Buffy… please come back, we need you… I need you.

*********

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

Buffy pays for her ticket and makes her way to the docks waiting for her boat to arrive. She has always figured herself as a courageous person but never this brave. She’s going to be walking into a cave not knowing what would be waiting for her at the end. It’s as if her legs had a mind of it’s own as it dragged herself onto the docks after she read the letter William had written over four months ago. Four months… a lot could happen in four months. A lot of things could have change… he could change, but she was willing to take the chance, she’s ready to get hurt… she just needed to know.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you can't replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worse?

William sits within the darkness of his study, it has been raining the whole night and he wasn’t able to get much sleep because Prudence has been restless; but her new nanny seemed to have managed her by now. The nanny was good to her; she cared for her, maybe even loved her to a certain extent but still Prue cries for Buffy’s love and affection. Through the extent of time, Prudence started to forget, forget that there was ever a Buffy that had been a part of her life, accepting this new change. How he wished he could do the same, how he wished he could move on, he tried he really did but when in times like this when he was all in his lonesome, that’s when he thinks of her again, these are the times he dreads most. How he wished things were different, how he wished she was here with him.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

Now she stands in front of the gates the rain pouring down on her, but she doesn’t seem to care as if she was numb to it all. She had come all the way from the US with no assurance of what to expect. Now she stands only a few meters away and she can’t seem to move. Can’t seem to make herself come closer neither can she make herself turn back and leave. Then suddenly the porch lights turned on. She froze, can’t move, can hardly breathe. She waited, until a shadow appeared and her heart quickened knowing already who the shadow belonged to yet she still can’t move, can’t shout out to him.

And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go.
If you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.

As he came into the light, he saw her, bathe in the moonlight, until now she still looked like an angel, his angel. William’s mind filled with question and doubt. He didn’t know if what he was seeing was just a dream. It wasn’t the first time for it to happen, he had dreamt of her return every each way possible for the last four months and he would always wake up heartbroken because he knew it would never happen. And now as he moves closer, he tried not to blink in fear that when he opened his eyes ones more she would be gone.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
to Fix you.

They stare into each other, neither moving and as if on cue the gates between them suddenly opened and they were left all alone. There were no more barriers between them, nothing to keep them apart. In that moment it was up to them to decide.

The tears stream, down on your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

The tears stream, down on your face,
I promise you I will learn from mistakes.
The tears stream, down on your face tonight.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones.
And I will try,
To Fix you.

The End.





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