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AN: special thanks to Allison for betaing this chapter and to gypsy_jin, for giving me a lot of reviews :P

~ Spikegirl

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Chapter 16: Needing the Answers

“What is going on, William?” Giles asked when Spike got in the house, tears
rolling down his face. He was just reading a very good book, but he was
interrupted with the sound of the front door slamming and the sobs that were
coming from Spike.

“Buffy,” he whispered before looking at his uncle. “That bloody bitch!” he shouted, trying to make his anger go away. He couldn’t believe the nerve that Cordelia had.

‘Destroying peoples lifes- what the hell was she thinking? I’m going to make her pay- I promise I will,’ he thought to himself.

“Now, William, I know that you’re mad, but you can’t call Buffy a bitch. She
is a very nice young wo...” Giles started with an angry look, dissapointed
that Spike could say such a thing about the girl that he thought of as a
daughter.

“I’m not talking about Buffy, you git. I’m talking about that bitch
Cordelia,” he said with an expression of ‘duh’ on his face.

”Oh well, yeah, she is a bitch,” Giles mumbled to himself. He met Cordelia a
couple of years ago when she first entered Sunnydale High and immediately
didn’t like her. She didn’t appreciate a good book and was very rude to
other people.

“Did you and Buffy get into a fight?” Giles asked.

Spike looked at him. “No, Giles, I’m crying my heart out for nothing!” he
yelled.

“Sorry. Do you want to talk about it?” Giles asked him while Spike grabbed
something to drink.

“No, I just want to go to my bedroom and find a way to get my girl back,” he
said with confidence.

“Very good. Just remember, William, you can’t always get what you want,”
Giles warned him.

Spike looked at him. “I know that, but I will get my girl back.”




Spike had just entered the room when his phone rang. He smiled, hoping it
was Buffy.

“Hello?” Spike answered.

“Hey, man, it’s me,” Spike heard through the phone. He sighed- he should’ve
known that Buffy wouldn’t have called him.

“Hi, what’s up, Whelp?” Spike asked, not in the mood to talk with his friend.
He really liked Xander, but the timing of the boy just sucked.

“I just wanted to say that Cordelia said something to Buffy about a bet. She
told us all about it. Something that you use women and then lo..” he
started.

“Yeah, I know- Buffy told me.”

“Oh thank god. You guys are okay, then? I was afraid that you would get into
trouble with Buffy,” Xander replied.

Spike sighed, forcing the tears to stop. “It did,” he mumbled.

“What?” Xander asked, not hearing what his friend just said.

“I said that I did get into trouble with Buffy. We broke up.”

“What? Why? I mean, Buffy knows the truth, right?” Xander panicked, not
believing that his two friends weren’t together anymore.

“Yeah, she knows the truth, and she says she believes me. I think she’s just
scared.”

“Scared of what?” Xander asked.

“I don’t know, but that’s what I gotta find out.”

After saying goodbye, Spike hung up the phone and went back down. He saw his
uncle reading a book on the couch and walked over to him.

“Uhm, Giles?” Giles looked at his nephew and saw tears in his eyes.

“What is it, William?” Giles asked, looking at Spike with concern in his eyes.


“I...I need some help.”


“With what?” Giles asked, not sure what Spike was asking him. He knew it
had something to do with Buffy and he wasn’t sure if he could help his nephew.

“I need to know more about Buffy, things that have happened in her past. She
was too scared to tell me about it, but I need to know. Please,” Spike
begged his uncle. “I need to fix this.”

“William, I would really like to help you, but the things Buffy told me are private. She trusted me to share her secrets, and I can’t betray her trust. You must understand that, William.”

“I do, Giles, I do. But I love her so damn much, and I know she loves me
back. She’s just scared of something, and I need to know what it is that
she’s scared of,” Spike told him, looking at his uncle with pleading eyes.

“You’re just as bad as your father was,” Giles told him. “I’m not supposed to
tell you this... but okay. When I first started to connect with Buffy, I made
these tapes with our voices on them. They’re upstairs in the attic in a
big box that says ‘Buffy’- you can’t miss it,” Giles said. He expected a big
‘thank you’, but all he got was a Spike running towards the attic. “You’re
welcome,” he mumbled to himself.

“Now, maybe I can make a little visit to a certain someone...”



Buffy was still lying in her bed when she heard a knock on her bedroom door.
She put her head under the blankets, not wanting to deal with Spike right
now. She knew if she’d look into his eyes, she would kiss him and beg him to
take her back. But she couldn’t do that. She couldn’t stand being hurt
again.

She was so deep in thought that she didn’t notice that the person that
knocked on her door had already come in.

Buffy heard a cough. “What is it, Giles?” she asked from under the blankets.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked.

Buffy pulled her head out from under the blankets and saw Giles looking at her
with a confused frown. “You’re the only one I know that has a cough that’s
annoying,” she said with a smile, which Giles returned.

“I guess you heard the news, huh?” Buffy asked.

Giles nodded. “He still loves you, you know.”

“I know- I still love him, too, but that doesn’t change anything.”

“Can I ask what went wrong?” Giles asked her.

“Sure, ask all you want,” she said, not really in the mood to talk about it.
Giles looked at her with a glare, and she sighed. “I wasn’t...” she started.

“Yes?”

“I wasn’t scared,” she said, looking at him with tears in her eyes. When she
saw his confused look, she started to explain. “He made me feel at home. I
was comfortable with people that I didn’t even know and I wasn’t scared
anymore.”

“And that’s what made you afraid?” he asked, and Buffy nodded. Giles wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t you get it, you silly girl? This is good- it means that you’re starting to heal.”

“Good? This isn’t good. The last time that I felt at home, something bad
happened! Every time something feels good, it gets taken away from me. I
don’t want to be in that kind of pain again. I love William, I love him more
than anything. But I’m afraid...”

“Afraid that he will be taken away from you,” Giles said with understanding.

“I’m afraid that he’ll leave me. Like everyone else that I cared about. I
can’t give him anything. What do I have to offer him?”

“You,” Giles answered.

“And what if that isn’t enough for him?” she asked him with a look that
could only be described as terrified.

“Then he really is a fool.”




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Thanks to: Caitie, Carri, blondiebear, Forever Luv, BuffyandSpikeForever, Seraiza, Bint, Allison and Gypsy_jin for reviewing!
You guys are great, please keep the reviews coming!





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