Chapter 12


The rain was still beating out its tune against the windows as nature exploded in a frenzy of light and ear-shattering booms. The scene outside the window was like a frantic musical with its own light show for all to see. Buffy's heart sang out a rhythm of its own as the kiss lingered and she was nearly breathless from its intensity. Spike's kiss was everything she imagined it would be. Fire and passion that felt dangerous and wild and left her feeling out of control. The warmth of his hands on her flesh seemed to burn her skin and the silky smoothness of his lips left her feeling dizzy. A week of fantasies and not one of them even compared to the feel of him. Her arm was still around his neck and her fingers were threaded through his hair. Her back was pressed firmly against his chest and his arms held her tightly to him. She felt protected and wanted - desired.



She gasped as he ran one hand up under her shirt while the other trailed down the front of her leg. His fingers trailed her flesh in whisper soft caresses and she shivered from the contact. She was losing herself in the sensations. Images from her dreams played before her closed eyes. Images of sweat-soaked bodies and words of love whispered across her skin. She clenched her eyes shut tightly as the images changed and that traitorous tiny voice inside her head began to whisper of old heartaches and wounds that were hard to heal. She broke the kiss, gasping for air and trying to block the painful memories as Spike attacked her neck and his hands continued to explore her flesh.



"Tell me to stop and I will."



Buffy's mind was screaming for her to stop him as Spike whispered against her neck and the hand he had under her shirt climbed its way up her stomach toward her breast. Her breathing was out of control and she arched her back as her head fell to his shoulder when he reached his destination. Her throat seemed to have closed off and nothing other than the small moans she couldn't seem to control escaped. She knew this was a mistake, that if she let it go to far she'd be lost. The heartache of betrayal and promises that held nothing more than pretty words whispered themselves to her and she tried to focus on anything that would push them away.



Spike smiled against her neck when he cupped her right breast in his hand and heard the small moan she let out. Her skin was soft and warm and she smelled of jasmine and a summer's breeze. She felt glorious. "I'm going to make you love a storm," Spike said as he massaged her breast in his hand and kissed along her shoulder. "The smell of rain in the air will make you eager for it. The sound of it will excite you. You'll long for them. You'll crave them...and you'll think of me."



Buffy could feel his need against her backside and her head fell to the side when the hand on her leg climbed it way to her inner thigh. She was lost in the sensations he was causing and her rational mind continued to sing its song of betrayal to her. Her breath was released in short bursts and she curled her fingers in Spike's hair as his words flowed through her. She looked out across the mountain, watching the storm as Spike continued to talk to her. His lips brushing her neck, the feel of his hands on her flesh and his rich, honey-dipped voice purring in her ears sent her spiraling to the edge of no return. When his fingers grazed the thin material of her panties, the pain she remembered all too clearly finally broke through. She looked out over the mountain and watched the lightening kiss the darkened sky outside the window and illuminate everything around them. She stared at the rain-soaked window before sighing heavily and closing her eyes.



Spike's face was buried in her neck as his fingers worked at the edges of her panties. The lace tickled his fingers and her warmth seemed to invite him in. He smiled against her neck before running his tongue lightly over her flesh before sliding his fingers into the edge of her panties. She gasped and stiffened in his arms before she softly whispered, "stop." The air rushed from his lungs in a wave of disappointment as his smile vanished.



"I can't do this," Buffy said before she reached for his hands and moved them off of her as she slowly untangled herself from his arms. She stared out across the mountain as images of Angel and what he had done played in slow motion before her eyes. As another flash of lightening lit up the room, she turned and ran for the stairs.



Spike turned and watched her disappear up the steps before he leaned back against the windows. He stared into the darkened loft before raising his arms and running his fingers through his hair. He sighed heavily as he thought of everything that had happened and he couldn't help but feel pleased. It wasn't exactly what he had expected, but beggars couldn't be choosy. As the loft was once again lit with the light from the storm he smiled as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip. "Just you wait, princess," he said softly as he stared up at the loft. "You can't resist me forever."





~*~*~*~*~*~*~




The sun rose over the mountain and Buffy didn't realize how beautiful the sunrise actually was. The first pink beams of light peeked over the mountain and lit the sky in a rainbow of colors. She had watched the sky turn from black to pink to purple before the bright blue of another day smiled down upon the earth.



She had laid awake most of the night, staring out at the storm as it raged beyond her windows and it only took the small act of inhaling to remind her of what she walked away from. His scent still lingered on her skin, and if she concentrated long enough, she could still feel his hands caressing her flesh. Her body ached for him but the images of Angel and the pain he had caused wouldn't let her forget.



If she had followed her body's needs, she would have slept with him. It's what she wanted. She knew now that she had from almost the very beginning. But her stupid conscience wouldn't let the past be. It wouldn't let her forget her past mistakes. It wouldn't let her move on. Angel wasn't a part of her life anymore but his ghost was still there to torment her.



Sighing heavily, Buffy threw back the blankets on the bed and sat up before staring out the window. She turned her head and looked toward the stairs and listened to the eerily quiet cabin before standing up and grabbing her robe. Tiptoeing to the railing, she peeked around the edge of the blanket Spike had hung for her before looking down into the living room. He wasn't there. She scanned the areas of the cabin she could see and wondered only briefly where he was before turning and grabbing fresh clothes and her toiletries. She checked the lights to make sure the power was back on before making her way out of the cabin and to the bathhouse. As she stopped in front of the bathhouse door she immediately wondered if that was where he was. She debated on knocking before grabbing the doorknob and giving it a turn. She sighed in relief when she found it unlocked. Pushing the door open she gasped as Spike suddenly appeared before her.



"Morning, goldilocks," Spike grinned as he stared down at her.



Buffy swallowed heavily as she looked at him. He was freshly showered and water still clung to his body. Small beads of it glistened off his skin from the sun coming through the skylights. A white towel was slung low on his hips and his hair hung in soft, wet curls. He looked delicious. She looked away before stepping back so he could leave but looked back up at him when he didn't move. "Are you leaving or not?"



"Depends," Spike grinned. "You inviting me to stay?"



Buffy looked up at him with slightly wide eyes before she smiled. "Not hardly," she said before she looked back down at her feet.



Spike smiled as he looked at her. "'M just trying to be helpful."



Buffy looked up at him and her smile widened. How could he be so charming and completely dangerous at the same time? "Making breakfast is being helpful. Harassing me in the shower isn't."



"Had no intention on harassing you, luv," Spike said as he closed the distance between them.



Buffy swallowed heavily at his response and looked away from him. Just the sound of his voice let her know exactly what he had in mind. The previous night's activities flashed before her mind's eye and she blushed before she could get the images to go away.



Spike grinned as he saw the dark red her cheeks took on and held back a chuckle as he stared at her before leaning down and brushing his cheek against hers. "Well if you find a spot you can't reach, you know where to find me," he said.



Buffy looked up at him when he took a step away from her and tried to get her rapidly beating heart to resume its normal pace. He winked at her as he walked out and she stood by the door and watched him walk back to the cabin. She entered the bathhouse and shut the door, double-checking the lock after laying her things down just to make sure he wouldn't surprise her later. The steam-covered mirror was wiped clean and Buffy stared at her reflection. She had dreaded facing him and just as she imagined, it was as awkward as she thought it would be. Spike didn't seemed fazed at all, although she really didn't think he would be. There probably wasn't anything that would make him uncomfortable. He was so full of himself, always confident and every word out of his mouth was laced with some sort of sexual innuendo. She smiled no matter how hard she tried not to as she thought of him. She knew he wouldn't give up now. If anything, he'd try harder, which only made things worse for her. If she couldn't let go of the pain that came with a relationship, of any kind, she'd spend her life miserable and alone. But how did she forget? How did she let go of the past and move forward?






~*~*~*~*~*~*~



Spike dressed quickly, slipping into faded jeans and a T-shirt before towel-drying his hair and setting to work. He had thought long and hard about Buffy after she left him the previous night and he knew he needed a plan. She wasn't a groupie, which meant - he'd have to work hard at getting her in his bed.



He hadn't had to actually work for it in so long he wasn't even sure he knew how. Most women came to him. Not the other way around. Buffy was the first woman in years that didn't jump him the minute he spoke to her. He was as exited by the prospects of actually having to chase her as he was disappointed by it. What if he failed? He laughed when he thought about that. No way would he fail. Buffy would be screaming his name before the month was out. This, he was sure.





~*~*~*~*~*~*~




Buffy walked slowly back to the cabin, dreading going inside every step of the way. Prancing around naked in front of Spike at the waterfall hadn't been as humiliating as she felt now. How could she look him in the face after last night? Sure it was only a kiss. A very hot kiss but she let him touch her. He had touched her in places no one had in longer than she could remember. Trying to get her burning cheeks to calm, she took a deep breath before opening the cabin door and going inside.



It was Deja. vu as she walked in. Spike was once again sitting at the bar and the enticing aroma of bacon and eggs filled the cabin. Only this time, she could see her own plate filled and waiting for her.



"'Bout damn time," Spike said as he looked up at her. "I was beginning to think I went to all this trouble of cooking for you for nothing."



The blush was back and Buffy bit the side of her cheek to try and hold back the huge smile trying to form. She glanced away from him briefly as she laid her things down before walking to the bar and sitting down. "Sorry," she said quietly before picking up her fork. "I had to wash my hair."



"I'm surprised your hair hasn't fallen out as much as you wash it," Spike told her as he watched her cheeks go from pink to red.



Buffy smiled as she stared down at her plate before she glanced up at him. He was sitting there staring at her and she couldn't help but laugh when he wiggled his eyebrows at her as he took a bite of his toast. She could already tell this would be a day for the record books. How many times could he make her blush in one day? Only time would tell.



They ate in silence and no matter how many times she looked up he was staring at her. She could tell he was dying to talk. He was fidgeting in his seat and she didn't know of a time other than when he was asleep that he didn't have something to talk about. He looked like an eager puppy ready to bounce on command and she almost felt sorry for him. Willow was the same way. Leave them to their own devices for too long and they'd combust.



"This is good," she finally said to try and break the silence. "Thank you."



"You're welcome," Spike said as he looked at her. He hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her. Every second he sat there his thoughts were consumed with the way she felt in his arms and how long it would take to get her back there. He knew he would but first he needed to find out why she left so abruptly the night before. What was holding her back and how could he get her past it?





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