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Chapter 14





Buffy hated to admit that Spike's idea was even remotely good but their quiet lunch on the mountain had been surprisingly pleasant. They ate and spent most of the afternoon talking and so far she had learned more than any tabloid had.



It didn't take her long to discover that the "Bad Boy" persona Spike tried so hard at projecting was all an act. Oh, he'd never admit to it but it didn't take a brain surgeon to see through it. Hearing him talk about his family and his love for writing had been the first clue. He had sworn her to secrecy when he told her of his childhood and she was shocked to learn he had been ridiculed and picked on as a child by his classmates.



Being forced to move in with his uncle after his mother's death had caused him to withdraw before he found himself with a group of friends who were less than ideal. His eventual rebellion as a teen sent him spiraling into a world that was too fast and hard and with the help of Drucilla, he evolved into who he is today. Of all the things he had confessed to her the hardest to believe though was that Spike, rock star extraordinaire, was actually a poetry loving, hopeless romantic.



"I take it she didn't like it?" Buffy asked as she picked through a bowl of strawberries.



Spike's light laughter confirmed her suspicions. "Understatement of the century," he told her. "Bleedin' bitch said I was beneath her."



"Ouch," Buffy said quietly as she watched his face.



"A very big ouch," Spike laughed. "I burned my journal and never spoke of her again," he said. "Well, until now."



Buffy gave him a tiny smile when he looked over at her and she wondered why he was suddenly baring his soul to her. Not that she minded, but it seemed so unlike him. "So was that when the first incarnation of Spike appeared?"



"That it was," Spike grinned. "William died with the laughter of those prissy bitches and I never looked back once I met Dru."



"And the rock star gig?" Buffy asked with a wide smile.



"Now that was a complete fluke," Spike laughed. "I met this guy who knew a guy who asked me provide the voice on the recording of a new song he had written to try and sell it. The right person heard it and the rest is history."



"And millions of squealing girls the world over having been beating a path to your door ever since," Buffy grinned.



"Exactly," Spike said. "Can't say that I've complained too much though."



"Oh, I'm sure," Buffy said.



"So, what about you?" Spike asked. "What exactly do you do for a living?"



Buffy looked over at him as he shifted and she crossed her legs before stretching out her back. "Well, I'm half-owner of a art gallery," she told him. "It's in LA."



"An art gallery?" Spike asked, surprised. "I wouldn't have guessed that one."



"Why not?"



"Well, most art critics are stuffy and boring," he said. "You're far from that."



Buffy smiled before looking out across the mountains. "Well, my mother opened it four years ago. It does pretty good business and it gives me something to do," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "There are worse things to do for a living I suppose."



They both shared a smile smiled before looking away. "So, where do you live now?" Buffy asked after several minutes of tense silence.



"New York," Spike told her. "Where else?"



Buffy grinned before shifting her position and grabbing one of the strawberries. "Where else, exactly."



"You'll have to come visit me," Spike grinned. "I'll show you the town."



Buffy laughed at that before shaking her head. "I don't think so," she said. "Like being trapped with you up here isn't bad enough. I don't think I would willingly put myself at your mercy."



"Scared?"



"Not hardly," Buffy laughed before looking up at him.



"Yes you are," Spike told her. "You're scared of me."



Buffy laughed before tossing a strawberry stem at him. "The only thing scary about you Spike is your inability to understand the word `no.' "



"Hey, I understand the word, I just don't like it."



"Obviously," Buffy told him.



"Well, I'm just use to getting what I want," he grinned. "And I usually get it one way or another."



Buffy looked at him before she smiled. "Well, there's a first time for everything."



Spike smiled at her as she bit into the strawberry in her hand and he had to stifle moan as she licked her lips. She had been eating those strawberries for what seemed liked forever and he was trying to ignore her as much as possible. His obvious reaction to seeing her tongue push past her lips to lick the juice from them made him squirm in his seat. Just the sight of her pink tongue and her soft lips sent his mind to the one thing it always came back to. "So, tell me pet, are you really not ever going to sleep with me?"



"Here we go again," Buffy laughed as she closed the container the strawberries were in and sat them back in the basket. "And for the hundredth time, no. I'm not going to sleep with you."



"See, just proves you're scared of me," Spike grinned. "Or rather scared of getting involved." Spike watched her as she sat there looking at him and wondered if the whole day was going to backfire and blow up in his face. Hours of talking and they were finally getting to the point he had been dying to bring up all day.



"Me?" Buffy asked. "This coming from the man with severe commitment issues."



"I don't have commitment issues," he said defensively.



"Really?" Buffy grinned. "You chase women endlessly with only one thing in mind. You have no desire to become emotionally attached to anyone and you can't go fifteen minutes without thinking with your dick. You - have commitment issues."



"Do not."



"Do too."



Spike looked at her and the huge smile on her face before he smiled and leaned his head to one side. "Okay, suppose I do," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "What's so wrong with it?"



"There's nothing wrong with it," she told him. "It'll just make you a lonely, bitter old man in the long run."



"How you figure?"



"Because humans need to feel a connection with someone," she told him. "If all you're doing for the rest of your life is getting a few hours of sexual gratification and nothing more then you'll wake up one day and realize you have nothing. Sure you might have fancy cars and tons of money, but that won't make you happy. Sharing your life with someone who cares about you and who loves you."



Her eyes were shining with tears by the time she stopped talking and Spike watched her as she quickly stood from the blanket and walked to the edge of the railing. Her arms were crossed over her chest and he just sat and watched her. Maybe baiting her wasn't such a good idea after all. "All men aren't like him."



Buffy chuckled harshly before looking back over her shoulder at him. "No, they aren't. They're much worse."



"And how do you figure?"



She frowned before shaking her head. "Well, they're either complete liars like Angel or just trying to get laid."



"Which is what you think I want?"



"Isn't it?" Buffy asked him.



Spike stared at her for the longest time. He couldn't answer her. He wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. At first, getting her into his bed was the only thing he had on his mind but after spending the past few days talking to her, he was becoming more confused.



Buffy was the first person he could ever remember who just sat and listened to him without judging him. She hadn't spent useless amounts of time trying to tell him how to live his life or how and when he fucked it up. If he was honest with himself, he could say that if he hadn't sworn off serious relationships all together, that Buffy would probably be someone worth the trouble of it all. But trouble he knew it would be. Sure she was beautiful and sexy but nothing was ever puppies and roses like all his favorite poets seemed to believe. No, love was messy and hard and quite frankly, not worth the trouble.





~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~





The air was getting cool and Buffy closed her jacket around her as she followed Spike through the winding trail through the woods. They had made so many twists and turns she had been lost ten minutes after they packed up and headed back to the cabin and she only hoped he knew where he was going.



Their day had been pleasant and her theory that he was up to something vanished quickly. Other than a few lewd remarks, he had been true to his word. What the rest of the night would entail once they made it back was still a mystery but she was sure it would be as smooth as their day had been. That is if they ever made it back.



The sun was just beginning to set and the filtered sunlight through the thick trees made it more difficult to see as they walked. Stumbling over every stray limb she passed was bordering on irritating and she fought to keep from screaming. As they turned past a large tree, the forest opened up and Buffy's brows scrunched together as she looked around. "Okay, call me crazy, but didn't we just past this place a few minutes ago?"



Spike stopped and looked around before shrugging his shoulders before he once again started walking. "Nope, don't think so."



Buffy watched him walk off before she gave the clearing one last look. Her mind was a whirl of thoughts before she jogged to catch up with him and a slight tingle of fear crept up her spine. If he gets us lost, I'm going to kill him.



~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



She ran into him when he suddenly stopped and the small "humphh" noise she made was enough for him to look back over his shoulder at her. Their was barely even enough light to see the path they had been on and the air had cooled enough for Buffy to officially call it cold. The thin jacket she wore had little effect and as she drew the material closer to her body she took a step back away from him and looked around. Her eyes widened when they landed on the clearing. "Oh. My. God."



"Guess we took a wrong turn somewhere." Her eyes were as wide as saucers and if she wasn't on the verge of a major freak-out he would have laughed. Her mouth was wide open and her breath puffed out in fast, short bursts.



"How could you do this?" She yelled, the words echoing through the forest before she looked up at him.



"What? It's not like I did it on purpose," Spike told her as he looked from her to the clearing. "Just got turned the wrong way is all."



Buffy shot him a look that actually made him take a step away from her and she studied his face. The look of concern that stretched across his featured looked strained and she almost felt bad for yelling until she looked into his eyes. They were dancing with mischief and she had never wanted to kill anyone like she did now. "You did this on purpose!"



"What?" Spike yelled. "Are you daft? Why the hell would I purposely get us lost?"



Buffy laughed loudly before shaking her head and walking off. Her steps were hard and her head shook from side to side as she laughed bitterly. "I knew it!," She yelled. "I knew you were up to something. You planned this from the very beginning."



"No I didn't."



"Yes you did! This is the part of the plan that I knew was coming. Get me out here, get me to trust you and then - BAM! You so conveniently get us lost."



"Buffy, just calm down," Spike told her as he walked over to her. "I can get us back."



"Oh, because you've done such a great job of it so far?" She asked. "God, I'm such an idiot!"



Spike watched her as she started pacing and her yelling was borderline amusing. Her arms were thrashing about almost as fast as her mouth was going and if she weren't pissed at him he would have laughed at the scene she was causing. "Buffy?"



"But did I listen?" Buffy asked herself as she continued to pace. "No, of course not!"



"Buffy."



"I should have known," she continued to rant. "But what did I do? I followed you out here just like you wanted and now look," she said turning in a circle and pointing at the forest as she did. "The middle of no-fucking-where!"



"Buffy!"



Buffy stopped and turned to look at him and she inhaled deeply before letting it out slowly. He was standing there staring at her with the picnic basket in one hand and the blankets in the other. She watched him as he put the basket on the ground and set the blankets on top of it before walking the short distance to her and stopping in front of her.



"We're not lost," Spike said calmly.



"Oh really," Buffy said, sarcastically. "Then what exactly do you call it?"



Spike sighed heavily before running a hand through his hair and looking around. "Okay, maybe a little lost," he said quietly, "But I can get us back."



"Then why haven't you?"



"Bloody hell, woman!" Spike finally yelled before he started pacing. "It's bleedin' dark out here for one thing and your constant chattering hasn't helped. Do you honestly think I want to spend the night out here with your bitchy self?"



Buffy shrunk back as he started yelling and watched him talk to himself as she had done only moments before. She sighed as she looked up at the darkening sky before looking back at him. He was still pacing and running his hands through his hair. What he was saying totally escaped her as it was littered with unusual words she had never even heard before but it didn't take her long to realize he was getting just as irritated as she felt. With another long, cleansing breath, Buffy's shoulders slumped before she sat down on the basket and propped her head in her hands.



That's the way she was when Spike finally stopped cussing and he couldn't help but smile when he saw her. "Comfy now?"



"Might as well be," Buffy grinned.



Spike sighed before shoving his hands in his coat pockets. "Look, for what it's worth, I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."



Buffy watched his face and he seemed to be sincere but she still had her doubts. He was almost completely bathed in shadows from the trees and what little light was left danced along the outskirts of the trees. The wildlife seemed to have sprang to life in a matter of minutes and she looked around her nervously. "So, um - can you get us out of here?"



"Tonight?" Spike asked. "Not sure."



Another long sigh before Buffy scrubbed at her face with her hands. "Okay, so I guess we're camping then?" She asked.



Spike held back a smile before looking around at the clearing. The trees would block the majority of wind but they'd still need a heat source. Sighing heavily he turned to his left and kicked the leaves and grass out of a small spot before turning back to Buffy. "Well, I guess we need us a bonfire then, yeah?"



Buffy looked over at him when he spoke and for a brief second she thought she saw him smile. Would he go to so much trouble just to get her alone and have her completely dependent on him? She thought about it for a minute before she smiled to herself. You bet your sweet ass he would.





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