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Chapter 17 – Healing


Snuggling closer to Spike on one of the couches in the main room, Buffy jumped when the door opened as several guys walked in.

“It’s okay, luv,” Spike whispered, holding her close. “You’re safe with me. No one here is going to hurt you.”

Relaxing against him, she slowly nodded. “I know,” she murmured, keeping her voice low so the other couples wouldn’t overhear.

True to his word, Spike had organized a movie night, inviting Angel, Faith, Riley, and Willow to join them. Buffy had been trying her hardest not to jump at every little thing, but even with Spike’s arms wrapped firmly around her, she still couldn’t manage to settle down.

“You want to go upstairs?” Spike asked, keeping his tone light so that she knew it was in the most innocent of contexts. Looking at her in concern when he felt another shudder run through her body, he wrapped his arms more securely around her.

Glancing around the room, Buffy shook her head. “Not yet. I’m sorry I’m so jumpy.”

“Not a problem,” he replied with a gentle smile. “Anything you want, you just let me know.”

Feeling her settled comfortably against him, Spike let his lips brush across the top of her head, bringing his hands up to her shoulders and massaging the tension away. As her breathing evened out and she leaned more heavily against him, Spike smiled when he realized she was falling asleep against him. Never stopping his movements, he waited until he was sure she was asleep, not wanting to disturb her much needed rest.

* * * * *

Everything was black. She couldn’t find her way out. She couldn’t protect herself against the pain that was exploding through every fiber of her body. Only one thought was running through her mind- she had to get away.

Trying to throw the weight from her body, she struck out, feeling moderately satisfied when her fist connected with something, uncaring of what it might be. Pushing the body away, she tried to get to her feet before feeling an arm wrap around her waist.

“Buffy!”

“No,” she said, her brain unable to comprehend where she was or who was saying her name as the fear gripped her. “No, no, no, no…”

“Buffy!”

Opening her eyes, Buffy panted for air, trying to remember where she was. Recognizing the familiar walls and the bed, she looked around in panic. Remembering that she was downstairs watching a movie with Spike and her friends, she realized that she must have fallen asleep against him and he brought her up to his room.

“Spike?” she murmured, looking over and frowning when she saw him. One arm still securely around her waist and the other covering his eye, Buffy felt her chin trembling when she realized what happened. “I’m sorry,” she said in a choked whisper, hesitantly reaching out to him before jerking her arm back, her body shaking as she tried to get away.

“It’s alright, kitten,” he whispered, holding back the flinch of pain as he pulled his hand away, knowing that it would be swollen in the morning. “You were having a nightmare, it was an accident.”

Hearing a knock on the door, Buffy immediately cowered while Spike quickly got out of bed and walked through the small living room to open the door.

“Everything alright?” Angel asked, looking over Spike’s shoulder. “I heard screaming.”

“Mine or hers?” Spike asked with a smile, briefly touching the back of his hand to his eye before grimacing and pulling it away.

“Did she…?”

“She had a nightmare. I got caught in the crossfire. Everything’s alright now.”

Angel nodded before saying goodnight. Spike closed the door, leaning his head against it for a moment when he heard the soft noise behind him. Turning around, he smiled and opened his arms for Buffy when he saw her standing in the doorway. Quickly sprinting forward to be wrapped in his embrace, she clung to him, seeking out the comfort only he could offer.

His brows knit together as his eyes closed in concern, realizing the mistake he’d made a moment later.

“Bloody hell,” Spike muttered, refraining from reaching up to inspect his eye. “You were right about black eyes, Goldilocks. They fucking hurt.”

Seeing the crestfallen look on her face, he quickly kissed her forehead, firmly wrapping one arm around her waist and tilting her eyes up to his.

“Hey,” he said softly with a timid smile. “It’s alright.”

“I shouldn’t have…”

“Shouldn’t have…what? You had a nightmare, luv. There’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t worry about me- I’ve had much worse.”

Buffy sniffled as she nodded before calmly extracting herself from his arms and walking toward the bathroom.

“Buffy?”

Turning around at the sound of Spike’s voice, she slowly raised her eyes to his.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered with a nod, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

Leaning against the back of the door, her eyes slowly opened, seeing the mirror in front of her and barely recognizing the girl looking back at her.

Staring at herself for a long moment, Buffy couldn’t stop the hatred and revulsion that built up inside of her. She knew that Parker was the cause, but she couldn’t get away from the poison that he had infected her with. Closing her eyes against her reflection, she slowly turned and walked back into the bedroom.

Seeing her pale face and her eyes filled with pain, Spike jumped off the bed and made his way over to her.

“What’s wrong, luv?”

“Spike,” she whispered, avoiding his eyes as she tried to gain enough strength to say the words. “I think I should see someone.”

“A therapist?” he asked gently, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders when Buffy nodded. “Alright then,” he said, tilting his head to give her a soft smile when she finally looked up at him. “I’ll call tomorrow morning and make you an appointment.”

“You know someone?” she asked nervously as she took a step away from him.

“Yeah,” Spike said softly, his head tilted in confusion. “What’s wrong?”

“Y-you’ve been planning this?”

Spike sighed, wishing that he could break through the barriers that Parker had surrounded her with and get her to trust him. He almost wished that she could be the Buffy she used to be, but then he remembered that this is the woman he had fallen in love with and he wouldn’t hesitate to help her. “I asked one of my professors if he could recommend someone.”

“Before yesterday?”

“Yeah,” he whispered, sitting down so he wouldn’t appear as intimidating to her. “I’ve been worried about you for a while…I figured it couldn’t hurt to find someone you can trust.”

“Oh,” she whispered, trying to nod as Spike grabbed her hand, tugging her forward to give her a soft kiss.

“Everything will be fine, sweetheart. I promise.”

Taking a deep breath and bravely straddling his lap, Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a tender kiss before pulling back to rest her head against his. “Promise?”

He let his hands run along her back, feeling her relax against his touch. “I promise.”




Thanks so much to: Franchesca, Seraiza, spuffette, Sevvy_O, Maddie Mae, pj, Brunettepet, Amanda, Caitie, Lindsay, Reciprocity, blondiebear, BuffyRat, gypsy_jin, willowmouse, BuffyandSpikeForever & Crystal Pegasus for reviewing!





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