Chapter 22 – Needing to Know…
Walking toward the outdoor café, Spike kept his arm firmly wrapped around Buffy’s waist as he scanned the area. Offering a brief nod to the middle-aged man sitting at one of the tables, Spike led her toward him.
“William,” the man greeted, standing up with a warm smile directed at Buffy as he shook Spike’s hand. “And you must be Miss Summers,” he continued in a warm British accent.
“Buffy,” she replied, accepting his outstretched hand and blushing when he kissed the top of it before releasing her.
“Buffy, this is Rupert Giles,” Spike said, holding out a chair and waiting for her to sit down. “He’s a family friend.”
“And you found something on Parker, Mr. Giles?” she asked, looking at him with a nervous expression.
“Call me Giles. And yes…I found something.”
“What is it?” Spike asked, sitting across from the older man, never breaking contact with Buffy.
“It seems that Buffy wasn’t the only woman who has been subjected to Mr. Abrams’ darker side.”
“There were others,” she said softly, already feeling sympathy for the women who had been at Parker’s mercy.
“One,” Giles said quietly. “A young woman named Darla Mason.”
“How did she get away from him?”
Giles sat back in his chair, taking off his glasses and slowly cleaning them with a soft cloth as he avoided the question, briefly looking up and meeting Spike’s eyes.
“She didn’t,” Spike said in a quiet tone, reading into the other man’s body language and understanding what he was reluctant to say.
“She…but she had to,” Buffy insisted. “I was with him long enough…I-I know what he’s like and how protective he is over his ‘possessions’, so there’s no way that he would let another woman out of his sight.”
“Buffy,” Spike said in a soft voice, gently touching her arm without taking his eyes off Giles.
Seeing the look that the two men were exchanging, Buffy felt her chin quivering as she closed her eyes. “She didn’t get away…did she?”
“No,” Giles replied in a quiet tone, sitting up a little straighter in his chair. “The official word is that her death was ruled as an accident.”
“He killed her,” Buffy whispered, looking at the table as she tried to wrap her mind around the fact that it could have been her.
“Everything that I’ve seen points to a definitive ‘yes’.”
“How?”
“Officially, it was a car accident,” he said, flipping through the notes that were in front of him. “Blunt trauma to the head, several bruises and lacerations.”
“So he killed her and purposely got into a car wreck to make it look like it was an accident?” Spike asked.
“Apparently,” Giles replied, looking back and forth between the couple.
Spike glanced over at Buffy, noticing her pale face as she fought the tears that were building in her eyes. “You okay?” he whispered, pulling her closer to him.
“Yeah,” she murmured, blinking back the tears. “And the case is closed now?” she asked, unable to look at the men as her emotions raged beneath the surface.
“Yes,” Giles said in a gentle voice, sympathizing with the young woman.
Spike sighed. “So he wasn’t convicted of anything, and if he’s convicted of the charges this time, he’s going to be out in a few months to start the cycle all over again.”
“No, he’s not,” Buffy said in a firm voice, turning to look at Spike.
“Not much you can do, pet,” he said, brushing the hair off her shoulder as he looked at her, sympathizing with what she must be going through.
“I’m not letting him hurt anyone else,” she said in a strong voice. “He’s not going to start this again with someone else.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Buffy.”
“I can get a confession,” she replied, turning toward Spike and seeing the shock on his face before the realization set in.
“No,” he growled, shaking his head before Buffy could continue.
“It’s the only way, Spike. He talks to me.”
“You go back to him and he’ll beat the shit out of you!” Spike replied, his voice rising as he became more frantic, seeing the determination in her eyes.
“And if I don’t, he’ll do it to someone else. Some other poor, unsuspecting girl who might not have someone to get her away from him. She might not be strong enough to get out on her own, and she’ll have to suffer because I was too scared to do something about it.”
“If I may make a suggestion,” Giles said, cutting off Spike before he could protest. “I have several contacts at the police department. Perhaps if we get a few officers to offer a certain amount of undercover protection, we could record this Abrams bloke and see if he really does open up to Buffy.”
“It’s too dangerous,” Spike said, shaking his head as he looked between Buffy and Giles.
“I’ll leave you two alone for a moment,” Giles said, getting up and walking away from the table.
“What if it’s in a public place?” Buffy asked, never taking her eyes off of Spike as she tried to make him understand that she had to do this. “What if you and Giles stay out of sight and listen to the conversation and we have Giles’ contacts somewhere close? You could be there, you could hear everything without being seen.”
“It’s too dangerous,” he whispered, turning toward Buffy and cupping her face in his hands. “I can’t risk something happening to you.”
“I can’t sit back and risk it, Spike,” she whispered, letting her hand run soothing circles along his leg. “What happens when he gets out of jail, if he even goes, and comes looking for you? Or me? What happens if he’s able to grab me and you aren’t close enough to help? Please understand,” she murmured, looking into his eyes. “Please. I have to do this…you know I do.”
Closing his eyes in submission, Spike sighed as he gritted his teeth. “If anything happens to you…”
“It won’t,” she insisted, running her hand along his cheek, causing him to look at her again.
Pulling her to him for a frantic kiss, Spike desperately held onto her, unwilling to let her go as their lips practically melted together.
Sitting back after a moment, he looked into her eyes, swallowing his fear as he nodded. “If Giles can get some officers there…”
“I’ll be fine,” she whispered, doing what she could to reassure him. “I promise.”
* * * * *
Biting her lip when Spike shut the door behind her, effectively closing them in his room, Buffy took a deep breath to calm her nerves. He hadn’t said a word on the way back to the house, and she was beginning to feel a little unnerved with him.
“Okay,” she finally said, spinning around to face him. “Give it to me.”
“What?” he asked in confusion.
“I’m ready. Lecture, yell, throw things. Whatever you want to do, just get it out of your system already.”
With a heavy sigh, Spike closed the distance between them, gently cupping her cheek in one hand and tenderly smoothing away the lines in her forehead with his thumb. “There’s nothing to get out of my system,” he said softly. “I just worry about you.”
“I understand that,” Buffy murmured. “But it’s time that I take care of myself. I can’t hide out here and expect you to protect me for the rest of my life.”
“But I would,” he whispered, looking into her eyes. “I’ll protect you as long as it takes.”
“I know,” she said with a gentle smile. “But I’m tired of being the victim. I’m tired of feeling like I can’t…”
Trailing off, Buffy looked down, taking a deep breath.
“What is it, luv?”
“You never knew me,” she whispered, looking up with a soft smile, tears filling her eyes as she watched a confused expression cross his face.
“What do you mean?” he asked in confusion.
“This isn’t me,” she continued, pulling away from him and pacing the room. “I’m not some scared, helpless little girl. I’m stronger than that. I forgot that I was, but…but I’m remembering…who I was…who I am. I don’t need protection, Spike.”
Finally turning back to him, she could see the fear in his eyes before he spoke. “And what about me?” he asked, taking a hesitant step toward her. “Do you need me?”
“More than anything,” Buffy whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist and eagerly stepping into his embrace. “I just don’t need you to protect me. Not anymore. And I need to know that you don’t want someone to protect. I need to know that you want me and not a victim.”
Spike breathed a sigh of relief, letting his lips brush across the top of her head. “I love you. You,” he reiterated, needing to make her understand and smiling when he felt her relax.
“I love you, too.”
* * * * *
“You sure you’re ready for this?” Spike asked, holding her hand tightly in his.
Closing her eyes for a moment to get her emotions under control, Buffy nodded. “Yeah…I’m ready.”
Picking up her cell phone, Buffy stared at it for a moment, feeling her mouth go dry at the thought of the call she was about to make.
“Maybe you shouldn’t be here,” she said softly, unable to meet Spike’s gaze when she felt his eyes practically burning through her.
“Why’s that, pet?” he asked with a slight edge to his voice.
Turning to face him, Buffy tightened her mouth before speaking. “Because I can’t very well pretend that I want to get back together with my abusive ex-boyfriend if the man I love is sitting in the same room. It’s for believability, Spike. What did you expect? That I really want to go back to him?”
“Course not,” he muttered, looking at the floor. “I just thought you’d want some support.”
Walking toward the bed, Buffy smiled as she looked down at Spike before straddling his waist and wrapping her arms around his neck. “I do,” she whispered, gently leaving a kiss on his forehead before pulling back to look at him. “But I know I have your support, and I think this is something that I should do by myself.”
“Can I listen outside the door?” he asked with a smile, tilting his head to look at her.
“As if you wouldn’t have, anyway,” she said with a giggle. “I just know I can’t pretend to even want to go back to him…”
“I know,” Spike whispered, gently putting pressure on the back of her neck until her lips met his in a gentle kiss. Buffy gasped when his tongue slowly traced along her bottom lip, begging entrance that she was all too willing to give. Massaging her tongue with his, Buffy clutched at his shoulders, feeling lightheaded as he pulled away to leave another tender kiss on her forehead.
Giggling when he stood up with her in his arms, Buffy squealed when she found herself flat on her back, lying on the bed. “Spike, what are you-”
Cutting herself off when he immediately jumped on her and began tickling her ribs, Buffy screamed as she wiggled beneath him, doing what she could to get away as her laughter took over.
“Uncle!” she cried after a moment, laughing so hard her stomach was hurting as she tried to move away from his hands.
“Not the right answer, luv,” Spike replied with a devilish grin.
“What’s the right answer?” she asked breathlessly, squirming to get away.
“I think you know.”
Hooking her hands behind his neck, Buffy eagerly pulled him down to her, claiming his lips and effectively putting an end to his tickling as he pulled away to catch his breath. “That better?” she asked with a soft smile.
“You know it, baby,” he said with a seductive smirk.
“Alright,” she muttered, struggling to sit up as she pushed on his chest. “I need to get this over with.”
Spike sighed, standing up and pulling her with him. “I’ll be right outside,” he said, closing his eyes when she wrapped her arms around his waist.
“Thank you for being here,” she murmured, her voice muffled against his chest.
Tightening his hold on the woman he loved, Spike pressed another kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll always be here.”
Pulling away and offering him a smile, Buffy let her hand gently caress his cheek. “I know.”
Watching as he turned and walked out the door, she suddenly felt a distinct loneliness settle in as she turned back to look at the cell phone.
“You have to do this,” she muttered, closing her eyes to gather her strength. “You have to.”
With a shuddering breath, Buffy dialed the number that was etched in her mind, feeling her hands trembling as she put the phone to her ear.
“Hello?”
“Parker,” she greeted, trying to keep her tone warm and unassuming.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah,” she said softly. “It’s me.”
“Why are you calling?”
Buffy could almost hear him cracking his knuckles as she rolled her shoulders, trying to soothe away the tension.
“Maybe you’re right,” she said, easily keeping the right amount of apprehension in her voice. “Maybe I do belong with you.”
“He broke up with you, didn’t he?” Parker asked in a smug voice.
Glancing at the door and gathering strength from the man who actually loved her, Buffy closed her eyes. “Yeah,” she muttered. “He said that I couldn’t forget about you and that it was obvious I still wanted to be with you.”
“I knew it,” he said, the smile evident in his tone.
Taking a deep breath, Buffy closed her eyes before continuing, “Can we meet? Just to talk. Maybe work things out?”
“I seem to remember you pressing charges against me,” Parker replied. “Not to mention telling me it was over…among other things.”
“I was angry. I just…want to see you,” she said, trying to keep the strain out of her voice.
“Alright, come over tonight. My place.”
“Um…I can’t tonight. I, uh, I have a lot of homework to catch up on. What about tomorrow afternoon…in the park?”
Holding her breath as she waited for an answer, Buffy nearly breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she heard him agree.
“Tomorrow at two,” Parker said. “Don’t be late.”
Hanging up the phone, Buffy fell back on the bed, feeling exhausted after the short conversation. Hearing the door open, she relaxed, immediately soothed by Spike’s presence as he sat down on the bed and pulled her into his arms.
“You can do this, Goldilocks.”
“I know,” she murmured, clinging to him and closing her eyes. “But that doesn’t make it any easier to get through it.”
Thanks so much to: spufette, gypsy_jin, lindsay, Caitie, Brunettepet, Jade2099, Crystal Pegasus, Amanda, Franchesca, pj, BuffyandSpikeForever, phantomwriter, & BuffyRat for reviewing!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I think interest might be tapering off on this fic, so here's an extra long chapter for you (only a few more left). Thank you for all of the great reviews for this fic- I'm very protective over it, so they mean a lot :-)