Chapter Twelve
After sending her mother to bed, Buffy walked back into the kitchen to fix herself something to eat and drink. As she rummaged through the refrigerator, looking for a coke or something with caffeine in it, she looked over her shoulder at the blond vampire still sitting on a kitchen stool.
“Want something?” she asked, then flushed as his gaze went over her jeans-clad rear end.
When he saw the flush he laughed and gave her his best leer. “What’re you offerin’, pet?”
“You’re a pig, Spike.” Again the automatic insult caused her to squeeze her eyes shut briefly, but she shook off the feeling and smiled at him as she closed the refrigerator. “It’s a good thing I’ve had years to get used to it or it might’ve got you a bloody nose.”
Spike hadn’t missed the twinge of pain he’d caused her and he was instantly sorry he’d caused it. Since she didn’t mention it, he decided to pretend he hadn’t noticed and he just leered at her again.
Buffy rolled her eyes and came over to sit on the other stool. While she nibbled on a sandwich, she said, without meeting his eyes, “Thank you for staying here with mom. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome, pet. You mum’s a right nice woman. I like her. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to her.”
To his surprise, she again squeezed her eyes shut and this time she couldn’t hide the pain on her face. Once again, he was off his stool and holding her gently, allowing her to lean into his chest.
“Bloody hell, pet. Has anything good happened to you in the next few years? It’s gettin’ so ‘m afraid to say anythin’. If I wanted to make you cry, I’d be chewin’ on your neck or somethin’ more fun than jus’ talkin’.”
Her shoulders shook with combined tears and laughter as she slipped her arms around his waist and buried her face in his chest. For just a few minutes, she allowed herself to enjoy the comfort of his familiar embrace before she remembered that this Spike, as sympathetic as he might seem to be, was not in love with her and probably didn’t want her tears soaking his shirt.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffed, pushing herself away slightly to look up at him. “I got your shirt all wet. You’re going to think I’m such a crybaby.”
“Naw, pet. I know you’re not a crybaby. Never seen a Slayer like you before. You’ve got friends and family, things that should make you weak; but instead, it’s like they make you stronger.”
“Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t,” she said cryptically.
They stood together awkwardly. Spike was enjoying the feel of her warm body in his arms and the unique scent she had. Buffy was reluctant to pull out of his embrace until she had to. With her eyes shut, she could pretend he was her Spike and that he loved her.
Finally, when it became obvious somebody had to do something, she tightened her arms around his waist in a small hug and said, “thank you,” before stepping back from him.
Spike dropped his arms, a little surprised at how hard it was to let her go, and stepped back also.
“Anyway,” she began with a shaky laugh, “what I was starting to say when my sniffles so rudely interrupted me, is that I appreciate what you did, but now that I’m home, you can—“
“Got no where to go, luv. Don’t fancy sittin’ around listening to your ex and Dru shaggin’ each other silly.”
He kept his tone light, but Buffy could see the pain in his eyes and the part of her that wasn’t jealous of his feelings for the brunette vampire ached for him. She put her hand on his arm and asked softly, “I’m going to stay up and watch TV until the sun is up. Do you want to stay and keep me company? Help me stay awake?”
“Sure, pet. Be my pleasure.”
They moved into the living room and after a laughing tussle over the remote, settled on the couch to watch an old movie. They both sat stiffly at first – Buffy because she didn’t want to appear clingy by snuggling up to him, as much as she wanted to do so; and Spike because he didn’t want her to think he was trying to take advantage of the way she felt about the Spike that wasn’t him.
But as the night wore on and Buffy was having a harder and harder time staying awake, her weight gradually shifted toward the slight dip in the cushions his weight was causing. When she caught herself falling asleep and slipping toward him, she came upright with a start and looked around quickly. She saw the vampire looking at her with amusement, his eyes twinkling.
“What kind of a slayer falls asleep sittin’ next to a master vampire?” he teased her gently. “Seems like a career endin’ move to me, pet.”
When she didn’t answer him, but just looked embarrassed, he put his arm around her and gently pulled her toward him.
“Was just kiddin’ with you, luv. I’m not sleepy. You can rest on me and I’ll wake you if you’re needed.”
“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” she said softly, with a grateful smile.
He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. “Don’t trust me, pet?” She couldn’t decide if she heard a touch of hurt in his voice or not.
“I do. You know I do. It’s just...it’s too easy to forget that you’re not...not my Spike. Not yet, anyway,” she added with a trace of a smile.
He sighed and pulled her into his lap with both arms. She stiffened with resistance for a minute, then relaxed and curled into him.
He though for a minute about what he wanted to say, then began softly, “I’m not your Spike, Buffy. I don’t know in this time if I ever will be. I know you think that I will, but I just can’t see it right now. And I’m sorry I can’t. Believe me. I can see that you’d be very easy to love. But I’m a one woman kinda man. Always have been.”
“Love’s bitch,” she murmured into his chest.
He drew back in surprise, then chuckled and leaned in to rest his chin on her head. “I guess you could say that, pet.”
“I didn’t say it. You did. Long time ago – well, no actually, about a year from now...never mind. It’s your phrase, not mine.”
“Yeah, sounds like me,” he admitted, chuckling again. He unconsciously nuzzled her hair, inhaling the clean, herbal smell.
Buffy almost held her breath as she felt him breathing in her scent. She knew her hair was one of his favorite things to scent and play with, and she was afraid to say or do anything that might make him stop. She rested one of her hands on top of his arm and began to gently move her thumb back and forth in a soothing motion. She was enjoying the feel of his cool, smooth skin as she stroked her thumb back and forth idly and she almost didn’t notice when his breathing stopped and he became very still.
She did, however, notice the growing bulge under her rear and she shifted slightly to slide it between her thighs. A growl from the vampire made her catch her breath, and she turned her head and tipped it up so that she could nuzzle his neck. She nipped on the spot below his jaw that she knew was sensitive and elicited another growl from him.
“What’re you doin’, luv?” he asked hoarsely. “You know you’ve got an unfair advantage here; knowin’ me like you do...”
He shuddered when she ran her tongue down the skin of his throat and sucked the skin above his collarbone into her mouth. She sucked hard on the skin until she knew the borrowed blood was staining his pale flesh, then she whispered, “Mine.”
Spike shot upright, almost dropping her off his lap.
“What the hell?”
Buffy took his face in her hands and made him look in her eyes. “When you take Drusilla away from here – and I know you are going to leave – I want to be sure you know there’s a reason to come back. When you’re ready. I’ll wait for you.”
“Buffy...” the vampire’s face was a study in suppressed desire, pained understanding and frustrated affection. “Buffy, I can’t pretend I don’t feel something’ for you. Don’t know what it is, don’t know why, but I won’t deny it’s there. But, I’ve told you. I love Dru. Have for over a hundred years. I can’t love you, Slayer. That’s just the way it is.”
To his amazement, instead of being sad, Buffy shook her head and laughed to herself. “So that’s what it sounds like to hear that and know it’s not ... Poor Spike.”
She looked into his puzzled eyes. “Someday I’ll tell you why it’s funny that you would say that to me. But, not now. Now I want to make love to you. Will you let me do that, Spike? Please?”
Buffy briefly wondered if a person could be killed by a heavy dose of irony as she waited for Spike to answer her. She could see the internal struggle taking place and knew that he wasn’t struggling so much with cheating on Dru as he was wondering if making love with Buffy would be fair to the Slayer.
(Puts him way ahead of me in the thinking about somebody else’s feelings department. But then, I already knew that didn’t I? I’m the user in this relationship, not him.)
She touched his face gently with her hand and looked into his conflicted eyes.
“It’s okay. It really is. I know what I’m doing. Just let me have this before you leave. Okay?”
“Well,” he tried to sound disinterested, even as his hands began sliding over her body, “it guess it’s the evil thing to do. And I’m definitely evil, so...”
“That you are, Big Bad,” she said as his lips closed on hers.
Their tongues met and tangled, fighting for dominance as they let lust take over their bodies. Spike’s hands slid under her shirt to move over her warm silky skin and she moaned when his hand tentatively cupped one breast. She pulled on his tee shirt until he shifted forward to allow her to pull it up and over his head. She immediately fastened her mouth on his nipple and began pulling on it lightly, smiling to herself when he hissed in appreciation.
It soon became obvious that the couch was not going to allow them the room they needed and Buffy slid off his lap to the floor, pulling him down with her. When he tried to lay her down, she shook her head and pushed him gently down on his back.
“No, Spike. I’m making love to you tonight. (the way you always wanted me to and I was too afraid to let you have.) You just lie still. Let me pleasure you.”
He looked up at the vision straddling his hips and nodded silently. What ever she wanted – whatever was going to make her feel better when he was gone. He would give her that.
With her blond hair hanging in her face, her cheeks flushed with heat and her eyes heavy with desire, he thought he’d never seen anything so beautiful. He had to fight to remain still while she slowly kissed her way down his body, pausing at the waistband of his jeans to lick his belly button while she worked on the snap and zipper.
His freed erection sprang out into her hand and she began to stroke it softly while the other hand tried to shove his jeans off. When one hand wasn’t enough, she planted a kiss on the weeping tip before sliding down his legs to untied his boots and pull them and his jeans off. Except for lifting his hips to allow her to remove his jeans, Spike remained obediently still, waiting to see what she would do next.
Sitting on his now-bare legs, Buffy pulled her own shirt up over her head and threw it and her bra onto the couch behind her. He couldn’t control his gasp as her perfect breasts bounced lightly in front of him and his hands reached for them. She lightly smacked them back down, saying, “Ah, ah. I’ll let you know when you can touch.”
“Bossy little bint, aren’t you?” he growled, but he was smiling when he said it, and obediently crossed his arms behind his head. Buffy lost focus for a second when that position showed off his wonderfully lean and muscular torso and bulging biceps.
(Damn show-off vampire. Thinks he’s pretty hot stuff) she grumbled to herself, even as she had to admit that the sight in front of her was making her mouth water.
When he teased her for sitting there, mouth agape, with, “Cat got your tongue, Slayer?” she narrowed her eyes and leaned down to lick his cock from bottom to top. She then swirled her tongue around the head, sticking it under the foreskin and pushed it out of her way so she could lick the pre-cum off.
“What do you think?” she asked sweetly. “Have I lost my tongue, vampire?”
Before he recovered himself to answer her, she bent over him again and began working his cock into her throat as far as she could get it. When his hips pushed up toward her, she held him down with one hand on his lower abdomen. With the other hand, she gently massaged his balls, pulling gently on the sac before grasping the base of his cock with her hand to hold it still while she continued to move her mouth up and down on it.
Each time she pulled it in to her mouth she got it a little further down her throat. If her mouth hadn’t been so stretched by his ample girth, she would have been smiling at the incoherent sounds coming from the vampire. When the sounds he was making told her he was ready to come, she took a deep breath and began swallowing. The swallowing action was all it took to send him over the edge and he muffled his shout with his fist as he emptied himself into her throat.
As soon as he dropped back, taking totally unnecessary recovery breaths, she stood up, one leg on each side of his hips. Spike stared up at her in awe as she stood there, legs apart, hands on hips, a self-satisfied smile on her face. She cupped her breasts with her hands and lifted them slightly, rubbing her thumbs across the hard nipples.
She heard him growl and put one bare foot on his chest to hold him down.
“Just wait your turn, there, vampire.”
He watched through narrowed eyes as she unfastened her pants and peeled them off down her legs, stepping off his body for a second to free up one foot. Then she straddled him again and pushed them down and off the other foot. He stared up at her worshipfully, taking in the sight of her long tanned legs ending in neatly trimmed light brown curls that glistened with moisture.
“I could look at this sight for hours, luv,” he barely managed to get out.
“I know,” she smiled. “It’s one of your favorite things. Right after what I just did to you.”
“Please tell me I taught you to do that, pet. I would hate to think you wasted a talent like that on the great poof, or some human prat.”
“You pretty much taught me everything I know, Spike,” she answered, suddenly serious. “I didn’t know anything about love or love making until you.”
“You tellin’ me I popped your cherry?” he asked in amazement.
“Well, no. Not in my time line – but...” she gestured at her sixteen year old body. “I guess this one’s yours. If you want it,” she added, looking away with sudden shyness.
So fast that she wasn’t sure he’d even moved, he’d reached up, wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her down to the floor with him. He rolled them over so that she was looking up at him with wide green eyes as he settled his hips between her thighs.
“IF I want it? Bloody hell, woman. Don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything quite so much in my unlife.” He studied her youthful face for a few seconds and asked softly, “Are you sure you want me to do this, pet? I know the real you in there isn’t a shy little virgin, but you could do whatever you want with this body. Doesn’t have to be me.”
“I WANT it to be you, Spike. Nobody else is ever going to touch this body. It’s yours. Please take it. Give me that to keep until you come back.”
He shut his eyes briefly to hide from the love he could see openly expressed in hers. As much as he wanted the nubile, young body underneath him, he didn’t want to lie to her about his intentions. He groaned and buried his face in her neck.
“Want you so much, Buffy. Want to bury myself in your heat and stay there for weeks.”
She wriggled her hips as though to ask, “what’s the problem?” and he chuckled in spite of himself. When he still didn’t make any attempt to enter her, she sighed and nudged him with her nose until he raised his head.
“I know you’re not my Spike. I know you don’t love me – that you think you’re taking advantage of me somehow. And I love that you can worry about that when I never...” She pushed aside all thoughts of the months she used his body with no thought to what she might be doing to him emotionally, and continued, “but I AM a big girl. And I want this. I want to feel you inside me, feel you...I just want to feel you...again. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.”
His perceptive blue eyes bored into her completely open and honest green ones until he saw what he wanted to know and he nodded his head as he leaned toward her mouth.
“Alright, luv. That pretty much uses up any ability I might have had to talk myself out of it.”
With that he captured her mouth again and began an oral assault on her that continued until she was gasping his name and almost sobbing with need. He kissed her until she had to stop to gasp for air, and while she was filling her lungs, he moved his mouth down to her breasts and feasted on the pebble-like nipples he found there.
When he began sucking on one of them and she arched up into his mouth with a whimper, he smiled to himself as he added, “likes her nipples sucked on” to the things he was learning about her. He worked his way down her body, tasting her silky skin as he went and committing the feel and taste and scent of her body to his memory.
When he got to her damp curls, the scent of her arousal made his cock so hard it ached. As much as loved Drusilla, he had to admit that she had never had this effect on him. He buried his face in Buffy’s crotch and began to seek out the source of the ambrosia he was inhaling. He pushed his tongue gently into her folds and ran it around the outer lips, dipping down to her entrance to lap up the continuous moisture he found there.
When he began flicking her clit with his tongue, her soft whimpers became higher and more frantic as he teased her unmercifully. When the whimpers turned to sobs, he relented and pulled the throbbing nubbin into his mouth and sucked on it until her hips shot up and her thighs clenched around his head.
Before she could recover from that orgasm, he had crawled up her body and placed the head of his cock at her opening. He nudged his way in as far as he could go, and when he met the barrier they both knew he was going to find, he paused to ask, “Are you ready, luv? I’ll make it as painless as I can.”
Her response was to grab his ass with both hands and pull him toward her hard enough to begin the tear. Fighting to control his demon when the scent of blood reached his nostrils, he pushed gently, entering her a little further with each push and stretching the tissue a little more each time.
When she brought her legs up around his back to give him better access he stopped trying to ease his way in and with a shove of his hips, he buried himself to the hilt in her warm wetness. He held still once he was in, while she got her breath back and got used to him. Her walls felt like warm velvet and he groaned when she tightened them around him gasping, “Oh my god, I’ve missed this. Missed you.”
He began moving slowly, giving her time to feel the pleasure out weigh the remaining pain, but it wasn’t long before he was pounding into her and gasping his own nonsense words in her ear.
“You feel so good, luv. Oh, like that, Slayer. Squeeze me again, pet. Feels so good. You are so tight, so hot and wet for me. Oh my god, Buffy. Feels like bloody heaven, your cunny does.”
“Spike, Spike, Spike,” Buffy maintained a steady chant of his name as she wrapped her arms and legs around him as though she would hold him to her by pure slayer strength.
When he felt her begin to quiver and her whimpered chant turned into a keening wail, he let himself surrender to the tension building in his balls and he joined her in finding release. As he did, his demon emerged and before he could stop himself, his fangs had nicked the skin on her neck and he was lapping at the drops of blood there.
Once again the taste of her blood was overwhelming and he found himself murmuring, “mine” against her skin.
“Yours,” she breathed in agreement. “Always yours.”
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