Sevvy_O, samica, valerie, dreamgirl4eva, Jeni, hollowtear, Seraiza, Franchesca, Demonica Mills, thank you all for reviewing. It's very much appreciated.


Chapter 3

The rain carried on through until morning and was coming down as hard as ever when the pair awoke shortly after dawn. The body heat Buffy provided had barely kept them warm under her thin blankets and his duster. Spike may have taken on a few more human characteristics over the years, but he remained without constant circulation and thus body heat of his own. Buffy was staring at the ceiling and shivering somewhat.

"Been awake long?" he asked, still groggy.

"Most of the night. I was having dreams." She turned over and faced him, giving him a wan smile.

"Good ones I hope." He knew better, but he truly did hope that for once her rest had been a peaceful one. It wasn't. She shook her head.

"I'm remembering, I don't want to. It's painful."

"I know, love. You can talk to me, we could always talk."

"I remember that. Some things are worth remembering, but then..."

"The darker times, the harder times, the ugly times. They're there Buffy, and we can never be rid of them, but there are some beautiful times in our pasts." As his palm came to rest on her cheek, she turned her face into his hand and kissed it. "Tell me more about William."

"His...his eyelashes were dark and long, like yours."

"Bet he was a handsome man."

"He'd have looked just like you. The funniest thing, though, I know babies' eyes are usually blue when they're born, then change later. But only one of William's did! One was blue like yours and another green, like mine."

"Really? He did? That's bloody brilliant!"

"Dawn said that he couldn't decide who to take after, so to be fair he chose us both."

"There must be records we can find - a marriage license, at least. Or his children's birth certificates."

"Yeah." Tears welled up in her eyes again and he shared her sorrow. This time, however, it was Spike that broke with a loud sob that echoed in the small cell.

"I'm so sorry! We could've been a family if I hadn't been such a bloody coward. I missed my son's entire life! And it's my fault you had to give him up. I can't ever undo...how can you ever forgive me? God, Buffy, I want to hold our son!" She kissed him then, to silence him and to comfort him. They cleaved to each other until the latest surge of emotion had been tempered. Spike eventually came back to himself, a little embarrassed. "Such a git, aren't I?"

"You're the most wonderful, beautiful, soulful man in the world. I'll make you a promise, if you'll make one too. When we're ready, we'll have a baby and we'll give it everything we couldn't give William."

"It's not the right time for us, I know that. But thank you for wanting it, saying it. Someday it'll be right."

"Yeah, someday. In the meantime, we need to learn to be us again. It's almost as if we're picking up where we left off. No you don't but thanks for saying it. For your information, I did love you then and my heart was breaking to leave you there, but no more than thinking you died not knowing that you were the love of my life. I know I took too long to realize it, but I did in the end. I still love you."

"Oh love, I know. I know. After so long this poor old sod finally gets it." They shared a kiss and held each other for a while longer, until Buffy followed her body's call to begin her morning routine. There weren't any mirrors in her room and when she returned, still robed in the black homespun, she became self-conscious.

"What is it?" Spike asked, sensing her discomfort.

"I don't have any clothes. I don't have anything, actually. I don't remember when I last did. I have all these flashes of memories, but I'm pretty much picking up where I left off. The day I lost my soul." Her hands went to her hair, noticing for the first time that it was a mess of tangles. She looked at her hands, dirty with black, ragged nails. Her hands went to her face as she realized the state she was in. "Wow...um, guess a couple hundred years without hygiene really catches up with a girl."

"Don't concern yourself with it, pet, it's just dirt, it'll wash off. You're beautiful."

"You're still a good liar, always making me feel better no matter how crummy I really am. I remember, you never once complained about the Doublemeat burger smell."

"Maybe I liked Eau de Doublemeat?" He sighed, sensing her increasing discomfort. "I only ever once kicked you when you were down after that moron Parker and I regretted it ever since, so I wasn't going to do it again. Especially when you were letting me in some."

"I was grateful. You were a sanctuary, even when I tried to make you believe the opposite." He rose from the bed, shrugging out of his coat and came towards her.

"There's bound to be some water around here. I've got a few things in my pack you'll appreciate. Mainly soap. And clothes."

She blushed, she couldn't help it. She quickly hugged him, then took him by the arm and led him from the room and around the covered perimeter of the courtyard. They braved the wind and rain. Almost opposite from where they'd slept was a larger room at the center of which was a basin. It was deep and wide and could easily fit half a dozen people. At the points of north, south, east and west were pits carved out of the floor.

"Do you have your lighter?" Spike withdrew a zippo from his jeans pocket and handed it to her. "Is it the same one?"

"It is indeed. That's the one thing of mine that's still the original. I haven't even had bleached hair for centuries."

"Now, don't ask me how I remember this, but see these smaller basins? There's a valve at the end of each one. It lets in natural gas." With a flick of the lighter near the base of the bowl a soft, low flame that burned both blue and yellow came to life above the small basin. She went around and did the same with the other three until the room was filled with both warmth and a ghostly atmosphere of warm and cool colors. Lastly Buffy came to the bath and turned the two valves at either end. A gush of water came from one end, quickly filling the bath with hot water. Steam engulfed the room and a romantic air settled around them.

"The water comes in fast, but there's a drain too, so the water's always moving. The monks built this sanctuary here because of the natural resources. There are energy lines in the earth and they converge on this site. This place is protected from evil. That's why I was drawn here."

"Do you remember how long it's been?"

"I have no clue. Could be decades; could be centuries. It's been a long time, that much I know. I know that some of the first people I met in the villages are dead now. This must be so hard for you."

"Little bit, but mostly I'm just over the bloody moon that you're alive."

"Am I immortal? I wish I knew. I think I must be. I don't think this is something Willow's done." She looked up at him from her crouch by the pool, her eyes pleading for affirmation from him. He came down to her level and took her hand in his.

"Maybe from when she brought you back from...from Heaven. Got a bit of the angelics going on with you. I've always thought so. Tub's full." Her attention turned from him to the swell of heated water that flowed continuously. It was meant to wash away woes and perpetuate the flow of one's chi. When she'd first tried to use the pool, she'd felt as if she'd somehow tainted it and hadn't since.

"Why don't you get in? I'll nip back and get my pack."

He didn't watch her undress, but instead went quickly to the monk's cell to retrieve the bag full of supplies. He drank down a cold pack of blood, the taste of which was wholly unpleasant in its state, but would serve as adequate nourishment for the time being. He didn't need blood so often as in the past now that normal food seemed to quell his hunger. He'd make a point of feeding Buffy after their bath. He mused to himself that she could use a few more curves.

He returned to the bath house to find Buffy submerged to her neck in the water, steam swirling around her. He knelt down a few paces behind her and brought out a brush and a bar of soap from his pack. She didn't move when he sat behind her on the rim of the pool and gently began to work at the tangles in her long tresses. The combined sounds of the rain outside and the motion of the water as it entered and left the pool was a balm and as the heat permeated her body, Buffy slowly felt herself becoming at ease since so long ago, she did not remember when.

She wondered, as his hands caressed her and tended to her - if she could laugh for him again. Or even just smile and have it be without pretense. She asked herself if they could be lovers and she didn't think of it in the sense of just the act. Could they be together day in, day out in each other's lives? Could he rely on her? Could she do the same with him, or had he changed too much over the centuries in ways that had yet to become apparent?

When the last tangle had been taken care of and the brush laid aside, she felt a kiss pressed to the top of her head. "Much better, love." He hoped that now that small things were being taken care of, that her emotional state would continue to strengthen.

"Thank you." She ran her finger through the lengths, then reached behind her for his hand. "Are you going to come in? Are you cold?"

"You sure?"

"Of course. Do you want..."

"I want! Just give me two shakes n' I'll cannon ball..."

"You will not cannon ball!"

There was a flash of nude flesh as he sunk in beside her. His pale chest was as she remembered, even with the few newer scars. Her palms splayed themselves over his pecs, her fingertips white from the pressure. Facing her, he knelt down, the water coming up to his shoulders. He pulled her close and their arms wrapped tightly around each other.

"It feels so good to hold someone. To hold you. And to be warm again. It's been so cold without you." Her voice was low, uncertain and shaky, but she held him tightly.

"It's over now, precious. Everything's simple from here on out. There's no reason to bother with Slayers or vampires. We can just be Spike and Buffy. We can get a flat in London. Or maybe a cottage out in the country. Or somewhere in California maybe? By the beach?" She sniffled and nodded her head.

"Maybe somewhere more north? With lots of nature, no city noise."

"You got it, pet. Now, let Spike give you a little care?" With a kiss to her forehead he reached over and retrieved a bar of soap. "Let's have a leg then." She lifted one sleek limb from the water and Spike cupped her heal in his hand. He nipped playfully at her ankle as he lathered the soap on her calf before massaging the length down to the tips of her toe. Under his hand, the bar slid down under the water and up her inner thigh. Buffy gasped and shuddered as his fingers swept the edge of her sex. He smirked, classical Spike, and moved back up her leg. She presented her second leg for the same treatment and was rewarded when he boldly stroked between her legs for a moment before once again gliding up the length.

He took her hand in his, giving one arm then the other the same treatment as her legs before coaxing her to face away from him. He didn't so much as wash her back as massage it. The soap caused his hands to move slippery paths over her tense muscles until she was loose and giving little moans of satisfaction. He washed and rinsed her hair before seating himself on one of the submerged seats in the pool and took hold of her waist, pulling her down to him. Leaning her back to his chest she noticed he wasn't especially aroused, but certainly felt the potential. She knew she wanted him, but was hesitant and for now would let him guide them both.

His lips caressed her shoulder, sliding to her neck, then behind her ear. "In over four hundred years of life, you're one of the most wondrous, lovely creatures I've known. I still love you with every fiber of my being. I'm still drowning in you." She went to turn around in his embrace, but he stopped her. "Relax, love. M'not done with your washing up." He demonstrated his point by gliding the soap across her stomach, then up her torso and over her breasts.

When she shuddered under his hands, he smiled,"A might sensitive, aren't you?" He set the soap aside and cupped the two mounds in his hands. His thumbs swept over her nipples and she gasped. As he kneaded the round flesh, he felt her arousal come on stronger. He nudged her legs apart and to either side of his. From her breasts his hands travelled downwards, coming to rest on her inner thighs. He kneaded her muscles, feeling her pussy flutter when his fingers brushed against the lips of her sex.

"Spike!" she exclaimed, writhing in his lap with her head thrown back. "Please!" She tried to push his hands to her center. "I need you now...please, don't make me wait." There was a desperation to her voice that unnerved him. Much against her insistent pleas, he stopped and released her. She was shocked and suddenly very embarrassed. He turned her around and pulled her against him. She was unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Sweetheart, look at me, please?" When she did he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and knew the kind of comfort she needed. "There's not a single reason to be scared. I know that's what you are. But you don't have to take it all at once for fear it'll be gone in the next second. I'm am never never leaving your side. I want to make love with you just as much, but I've waited centuries and we need to do this right. I need to see your eyes, Buffy, when I fill you. I need to feel your breath on my face when you gasp with pleasure. I don't want you to escape, I want it to be like it was in the basement." She understood what it was he was trying to recapture and wanted it too. She was still not used to being with him and couldn't read him as well as in the past. That would change with time.

"Oh Spike. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be apologizing for. Your emotions have been tempered down for a long time, so have mine. Only you could've evoked lust in me...like I'm feeling now. And only you remind me what true love is." Now that he'd engaged her, Buffy began to pay attention to more than just her own needs. Reaching down under the water between them she found his semi-hard cock and became familiar again with the thick weight of it in her hands. It took a little more encouragement than she remembered, but his length grew full and hard. She straddled his hips and guided him to her center.

"Love me?"

"Forever."

"Really forever Spike. You're mine now. And I want you for mine." With that she sunk herself down. Aroused as she was, the time apart made itself known when his girth stretched her almost painfully. Spike cried out in agonized pleasure from the tightness gloving him inch by inch. She persevered until she'd taken him to the hilt. Her breath came out in a shudder. There was a stillness between them, and a blanket of calm completion enveloped them. Spike pulled the wet hair away from her face and closed his hand around the back of her neck, bringing her lips to his.

He nibbled on her bottom lip a little, making her smile as she opened herself to his kiss. There was urgent passion at first that soon became a languorous smooth caress of lips and tongues. They moved together, their pace achingly slow, but meant to be reverent to the joining of two lost souls finally made one. Spike moved them to the center of the pool where Buffy's legs found their way around his waist. The flow and buoyancy of the water made their lovemaking as soft as a sigh, drawing out their pleasure like a slow parade of wind blowing through trees. More than once his deep, throaty groans accompanied her high pitched cries as the pleasure and tension mounted.

Through all this their eyes remained closed, savoring the sense of touch above all else. That was until Spike's mouth moved from her lips, across her jaw line and came to rest over the marks he'd placed on her the night before last. Her eyes opened wide and her fingers dug into his back while her pussy clenched around down on him, spurring him on as his mouth clamped over the healing puncture wounds. He teased her with blunt teeth, not opening the wounds again but bringing the blood nearly to bursting through the surface. With this new sensation their bodies surged and rocked with urgency.

Spike felt the pull of her fingers in his hair, bringing him back to her. Buffy locked eyes with him and he saw behind them something he'd never quite been certain of until that very moment. When he'd come to China in search of her he hadn't known what to expect, but in a strange sort of way he had hoped that what awaited him was someone he could learn to know anew. Someone to have a fresh start with.

She was his Buffy. His. She was no longer the girl whose father couldn't be bothered with; the one that had found her first death at sixteen at the hands of the Master. She wasn't the vulnerable teen who'd been demoralized and haunted by Angelus; nor was she Angel's cast off. She wasn't the young woman who had grown up too fast; who had to care for a sister when she didn't have the slightest clue how to yet care for herself. And this wasn't the Slayer suddenly thrust into the role of teacher to dozens of Potentials. Most importantly, he saw that this wasn't the woman who hated her life after being pulled out of Heaven; who used and abused him and enabled him to do the same.

This was the woman who had taken his hand as the fire of his soul threw down the legions of the First Evil. The one whose soul he'd touched with the flame of his own - and the one who'd said 'I love you' and meant it. Her past lay three centuries behind her and her heart was open, her hope renewed and her spirit clean. She was his, finally. Was it having William that did it to her? He thought it likely was.

He saw it all in that flash of her eyes and it was so beautiful he wept.

There was too much emotion washing over Buffy when she saw the tears spill from those blue eyes. She'd felt for decades upon decades that she'd been locked away in a lightless box and he'd come with a key to rescue her. Somehow she'd always known that her soul was close. But it was like William after he was gone. Even now she could still feel the shape and weight of him in her arms. But he wasn't there. It had been the same with her soul. And now she could feel it, an limitless out pouring of love to surround this man she was making love with. She was truly alive again and it was due to his love.

Their climax was sudden. For a moment they'd both been elsewhere, outside of themselves in forms of pure light. A split second later they were snapped back to the moment and it was a swarm of ecstatic cries, pulsing bodies and the culmination of three hundred years of unrequited love. Neither one had remembered how overwhelming the act of sex could be between them. When the release left them and they turned to boneless masses each found themselves weeping and gasping while holding each other. Suddenly over heated, they clamored out of the hot water and to the cool black stone of the floor. The shock against their hot flesh had them shivering in moments, but they rolled into each other and began the dance again.





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