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Chapter 9



William sat quietly, watching as his bunkmates laughed and drank the foulest tasting liquor he had ever had the displeasure of putting in his mouth. The music was loud and everyone there was in a cheerful mood, except for him.



He tried not to think about it, but every time he saw a brightly colored package and the smile on the face of the person who received it, he'd close his eyes and wonder what happened. It wasn't like he expected anything, but to be honest, it was all he had thought about.



Receiving Buffy's letters excited him, but ever since she had started sending him care packages, he was almost ecstatic with anticipation. There was always a new picture of her and, aside from your basic necessities, she always added something special. The red ribbon she had worn in her hair that first day now kept all the letters from her neatly bound. Seashells from under the pier lined the tiny shelf above his bunk and the cross necklace she had given him the day he left now hung from his neck on a stronger chain.



Pictures of her lined the wall beside his bed and he spent most of his free time staring at them. She was less than a month away from her eighteenth birthday and he had watched her bloom before his eyes. The once chubby-faced girl he had fallen for had turned into a woman with large green eyes and a smile he liked to pretend was only for him.



Sighing as he heard his name, William turned his head and forced a smile onto his face as Thomas sat down on the end of his bunk and held out his hand. "Drink this," Thomas said smiling. "It'll make you feel better."



"Doubt that mate," William said, grabbing the cup in spite of his mood.



"Anything could have happened," Thomas tried to assure him. "It's a bad time of year, you know that."



William smiled, the action causing more pain than it should as he fought to compose himself. Ever since the first Christmas package had arrived he had been waiting. Waiting for the day his would be there and he would once again get to see her smiling face.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~



The bright twinkling lights lit the room as a pyramid of colors bounced off the walls. Soft music played her mother's favorite Christmas carols and as Buffy stood in front of the Christmas tree staring at his picture, she couldn't help the sadness that overtook her.



He was smiling in the picture as he stood by a tent. There were a few men behind him trying to make their presence known and she couldn't help but smile at their antics. William had sent the picture, the first of many, saying that Thomas had received the camera from his wife, as she wanted to know whom he was hanging around with. Buffy had been thrilled when she received it. He looked so different from what she remembered, but still the same. He looked older. More worn. More handsome than any other man she had ever seen.



His hair was almost white. William said the sun was bleaching the color right out of it. It looked good on him, she thought. It made his cheekbones more prominent and Buffy couldn't help the dreamy sigh that escaped her. She still felt fifteen when she looked at his pictures. She couldn't help it. This gorgeous man loved her. He was counting the days until he saw her again.



"Buffy, dinner is ready," Joyce said quietly as she entered the living room.



Turning her head, Buffy smiled slightly at her mother as she stood there staring at her. "Okay, I'll be right there," she said, turning back to look at the picture she had framed and made into a decoration for the tree.



"He won't come to life no matter how hard you stare at him," Joyce told her.



"I know," Buffy said softly. "I just miss him."



Joyce sighed, shaking her head slightly and biting back the comment that had instantly formed. Why Buffy was so obsessed over this stranger was something she didn't think she'd ever figure out. Her daughter was nearly eighteen and had never even dated a boy. She did nothing but write constantly to a man thousands of miles away who made promises of love and a lifetime of dreams that Joyce was sure neither one of them would see.



Turning back to the dining room, Joyce hoped Buffy wouldn't have to deal with the realities of this war. She was sure her daughter wouldn't be prepared for it. The harsh reality of things to come would soon face her. This, Joyce was sure of.



Buffy gave one last smile to the photo, reaching out and laying her finger on his smiling face before closing her eyes and saying a small prayer for him. Her wish was always the same and she knew in her heart that one day he'd be home. One day, the letter would come saying her soldier was coming home. Looking back at the picture, Buffy sighed again before she softly whispered, "Merry Christmas William, I love you" and turned and headed for the dining room. Seeing her mother sitting there with "that look" on her face had her already dreading the conversation. It was always the same. Taking a deep breath, Buffy walked to the table and took her seat; already wishing the night was over.




~*~*~*~*~*~*~



December 25, 1969



Merry Christmas Buffy,



I miss you. I've been sitting here all day thinking of you. I think I've made myself miserable by staring at your pictures all day. I don't think I've ever felt as lonely as I have today. The atmosphere around the base is light and cheerful, but knowing you're so far away from me is agony. I miss you terribly and there aren't words enough to tell you how much I love you.



I dreamt of you last night. You were standing on the beach and the sun was just beginning to set. Purples and pinks lit up the sky and when you turned to look at me, it was as if the whole world stood still. I don't remember what you said, but the way you smiled at me was enough to make me wake and crave you even more. I sat here and stared at your photos wondering what you were doing. Wondering if you were thinking of me.



I love you Buffy Summers and nothing will ever change that. You haunt my dreams and I long to touch you. To feel you in my arms and drown in your kisses. Are you still waiting for me? I miss you so much. I need you. I want you. I'm nothing without you.



All my love,



William (Spike) Bennett





A/N….I’m not sure if portable tape recorders were around in 1970, so if not…then go with it…okay? I needed it for this next chapter and, its ONLY fiction! I can do whatever I want, right?



Chapter 10




January 1970 - Vietnam





William signed his name to the card he had paid dearly for before looking over what he had written again. Not being with Buffy on her eighteenth birthday was disappointing, but he wanted her to know how much he wanted to be. Smiling his approval, he slipped the colorful pink card into the envelope and looked up as he heard his name.



“William Bennett?”



“Right here,” William said, looking at the officer that had walked into the barracks before standing. “Is something wrong?”



“Yes and no,” the officer smiled. “Seems there was some sort of mix up, I’m afraid. I believe this belongs to you.”



William stared at the large package, clumsily wrapped and taped back together in the brightest Christmas paper he had ever seen. Santas with happy smiles looked up at him as he reached out and took the package and he barely even noticed the officer still speaking to him.



“My apologies for the inconvenience,” the officer was saying. “Not everyday we have two William Bennetts in the same location.”



“Two?” William asked confusedly as he looked back up.



“Yeah. Looks like he received your package.”



“Mine,” William half-whispered, half smiling as he looked back down at the package in his hand.



“He didn’t notice the location it was mailed from. Didn’t even know it wasn’t his until he opened it up. He sends his apologies, as do I. I hope whatever’s in there makes up for our mistake.”



William barely even noticed when the officer left him standing there holding his package. A brightly colored Christmas package, almost a month after the fact. Buffy hadn’t forgotten. It was just lost.



The smile on his face steadily grew until he felt like crying. He had finally convinced himself that it didn’t matter that Buffy didn’t send him anything, but now that he held her gift in his hand, he knew it did. She hadn’t forgotten about him.



Sitting down on his bunk, William tore the paper from the box and opened it quickly. Pulling the flaps back on the box, the first thing to meet his eyes was a large picture of Buffy. It was framed in gold and it appeared to be taken somewhere in the park. Her hair was longer than he remembered and she was wearing it straight. She was laughing at something and he could barely make out a ring of flowers haloed around her head.



Gone were the dresses he always saw her in. Instead, she wore low riding jeans and a wisp of a blouse that fell off one shoulder. Her midriff was bare and William had never wanted to see her as badly as he did at that moment. Gone was the girl he knew, replaced by a woman he couldn’t wait to get back to.



“Looks like your Buffy is all grown up.”



William smiled as Thomas leaned over his shoulder looking at Buffy’s picture. “I don’t know how she gets more beautiful every time I see her.”



“They tend to do that,” Thomas laughed. “And if you ask me, it only makes being in this hell-hole worse!”



“That it does,” William agreed, laughing.



“So, what else did you get?” Thomas asked, reaching into the box and laughing when William slapped his hand away.



“I haven’t looked,” William smiled. “So stay out.”



“Alright, alright,” Thomas chuckled before sitting. “I guess all that moping you’ve done for the last month was for nothing then?”



William glanced up, rolling his eyes before he smiled. “I wasn’t moping.”



“Really?” Thomas asked with a look of mock shock. “Sure as hell looked like moping to me.”



William chuckled, knowing Thomas was right before he dug into the box. The basics were there as always. More stationary, stamps and pens. Socks and a new toothbrush. He couldn’t help but be amused at the things she sent him. No one else ever got simple things like a toothbrush and toothpaste. They all had to endure the unpleasant stuff the army provided for them. He needed to thank her for them again, for everything really.



Once he had everything laid out in front of him, William looked back into the box and found a smaller box. It was wrapped in shiny gold paper with a large red bow of silk. His heart jumped in his chest as he pulled it out and he stared at it for a few minutes before Thomas cleared his throat and he looked up. Smiling, knowing his friend was waiting, he pulled the ribbon and unwrapping the box, opened it slowly. A folded sheet of pink paper lay on top and he lifted it, revealing the treasure inside. His smile widened as he reached in, pulling the small tape out and one look let Thomas know this wasn’t for him.



As Thomas said his goodbyes with a pat to his back, William quickly opened the note and read what it said.



I thought something more personal was in order this Christmas, so I made you something I hope you like.



Buffy



Glancing around the barracks, William smiled before laying the small package down and walking across the length of the room. He searched every bunk and smiled triumphantly when he saw the tape recorder lying on a shelf. He reached for it and walked back to his bunk. Checking to see that the volume was down low, William inserted the tape and hit the play button.



“Hi William. Or should I call you Spike now?”



William smiled as he heard her laughing and he could almost picture her face. The sound of her voice was the best present he thought he had ever received. Closing his eyes as her voice drifted over him, William leaned back and put the recorder closer to his ear.



“My friend Xander actually gave me this idea. He broke into the music room on campus and actually made a tape to prove to me and Willow that he was there. After hearing it, I had him sneak me in.



College is so different from what I had imagined. There is always something going on here and even though I haven’t convinced mom to let me live on campus yet, I think she’s finally starting to see my point in the whole thing. I think she’s afraid to let me go. I can’t really blame her. I mean, it’s just been me and her since Dad left.



Your last letter made me cry. I loved the poetry even though you insist it isn’t any good. To me they are. I think they’re beautiful, just like you.



William sat up when it fell silent and he wondered why she had stopped so abruptly when he heard a small noise. He listened hard, leaning his head to the side and staring at the recorder like it would tell him all the answers he was seeking. Finally hearing her take a deep breath, he relaxed a little before she once again spoke.



“I miss you William. I pray every night that you’ll come home.”



She was crying. William’s heart ached when he heard her voice tremble when she tried to talk and he felt his eyes tear up as he listened. She was crying because of him.



“I lay awake every night thinking of you. Wondering if you’re okay and if you miss me as much as I miss you. I stare at your pictures and find myself crying endlessly for no other reason than I miss you. I want you here, with me. I want to show you off to all my friends but most importantly, I want to be able to look at you when I say I love you. I want to say it and have you know it’s real. I want to hold you and feel your heartbeat. I want you William and I love you. I love you so much it hurts. Come home to me.



William clicked the machine off and slowly raised his hand and wiped his face free of tears. Hearing her voice, hearing her say she loved him was a gift from heaven. Smiling as he slowly removed the tape from the player, he held the small black tape tightly in his hand before hiding it away from the others. He knew his letters had been read, but this was something he’d keep to himself. Buffy loved him and she was all his. She said so. He heard her say it. He’d find a way home, back to her. She was waiting on him.





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