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Chapter 13







"This has to be the hardest hit we've seen," Kenneth said as he and two other men went through the task of cataloging all the dead.



"I know. Much more of this and we won't even have enough men to patrol the area," Chris replied as he bent down and pulled another set of dog tags from the neck of a man lying in the makeshift medical tent they were assigned to.



"Who you got?" Kenneth asked, looking down at the clipboard he held as he tried to ignore the faces he had seen many times over the past months.



"Um, Conner, Angel," Chris said, straightening his back and handing the dog tags over to Brian before he stepped around Angel's body and went to the next man.



"Huh, never thought we'd see him in here," Kenneth commented as he wrote down the information from the tags before he looked up and sighed. "Him either for that matter," he said as he saw Thomas. "If anyone would have made it, I thought for sure Thomas would have."



"Yeah, you'd think so," Brian said, placing the dog tags Chris was handing him into a bag with the personal belongings for each individual man. "This place has to be the most depressing hell hole on the planet. It'll take us all night to get through all of these."



"Yeah, but be thankful you're standing here identifying their bodies and not lying there with them."






~*~*~*~*~*~*~





Buffy forced a smile onto her face as Xander tried uselessly to cheer her up. It had been exactly fifteen weeks since she had heard from William and depression and worry had set in. She didn't know what to think anymore. When William had told her that he wouldn't be able to write her as often as he had been, she had no idea to the extent of that comment. She expected something to have come by now. Why hadn't he written? Had something happened?



"I know what you're thinking," Willow said softly as she sat down beside Buffy and gave her friend a tiny smile. "He's fine."



"How can you be so sure?" Buffy asked, turning her head and looking over at Willow.



"Because if something would have happened, they would have informed you, that's how."



"But what if they don't?" Buffy asked. "I mean, it's not like we were married or anything. I'm not even a family member. What if they don't."



"He listed you as next of kin, Buffy," Willow smiled. "He did that for a reason." Willow watched as the tears once again filled Buffy's eyes and she frowned as she reached out and pulled Buffy into her embrace. The sniffles started instantly and when she looked over to Xander, the sobs from Buffy finally took over. It was heart wrenching to watch and Willow or Xander neither one knew what to do. They were as helpless as Buffy was.



"Maybe there's someone we could call," Xander said softly, looking at Buffy as she cried. "I mean, there has to be someone who would know, right?"



"Well, I don't know of anyone," Willow told him. "I mean, it's not like you can just call up the army and ask them."



"Well, maybe not, but.Hey!" Xander said, grinning. "What about his friend? What was his name again? He's married, right?"



Buffy finally looked up, looking over at Xander before she sniffed and wiped her face. "Yeah, Thomas," she said quietly. "Um, I can't remember his last name though, but he is married."



"Well, you have all William's letters," Xander smiled. "If we can find out Thomas' wife's name, then maybe you can see if she's heard from him. Wherever Thomas is, you know William isn't far behind."



Buffy looked over at Willow and saw the small smile beginning to play on her lips before she looked over to the dresser. Standing, she crossed the room, pulling the stack of letters out of the bottom drawer before walking back to Willow's bed and laying them down. "I remember there being something in here about Thomas' family," Buffy said, dividing the stack of letters amongst the three of them before they all went to work. "I'm not sure what good it'll do us though."



"Well, if we know where he was from and his last name, we can find his wife," Willow smiled. "If William talked about Thomas, then chances are Thomas talked about William. Maybe she's heard from Thomas and will know something more than you do about where they are."



Buffy gave them a weak smile before opening the first letter. She didn't know what this would accomplish, but her friends seemed eager to help and it beat sitting around thinking the worse. As they all started scanning the letters, Buffy sighed in frustration. She feared this would happen, she just never thought it'd be so hard.






~*~*~*~*~*~*~





Buffy took a deep breath, listening to the phone ring as she held the receiver tightly in her hand. They had spent almost a month tracking down Thomas' wife and as Buffy called Katie's house, her nerves were on end.



She smiled nervously while looking at Willow and her heart skipped a beat when someone finally picked up.



"Hello?"



"Um, Hi. Can I speak with Katie Grayson please?" Buffy asked, staring at Willow.



"This is she."



Buffy let out a small sigh, feeling her stomach coil into a knot before she swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "Hi Katie, um you don't know me but my name is Buffy Summers. My.boyfriend," Buffy hesitantly said before smiling, "William is stationed with Thomas and he's told me all about him and I was wondering if I could ask you if."



Buffy's brow scrunched up slightly as she heard a clamor on the other end of the line and she listened hard trying to figure out what was happening. She could hear voices and in the confusion, it sounded like someone crying. She stared over at Willow with wide eyes before a voice on the line drew her back into the conversation.



"Hello?" Buffy asked, shrugging her shoulder at Willow's questioning look.



"Yes, who is this?"



"Um, Buffy Summers."



"Buffy," the woman on the other end of the line said. "Katie can't talk right now, but I've heard of you."



"Oh, okay," Buffy said, slightly disappointed. "Um, how have you heard of me?"



"Thomas mentioned you in some of his letters."



"Well then I assume you know William?" Buffy smiled, still not knowing to whom she was speaking.



"Yes, I've heard a lot about him from Thomas' letters as well."



"Yeah. William talks about Thomas all the time too," she smiled. "Well the reason for my call is that I haven't heard from William in a while and was wondering if Katie had heard from Thomas. I know William said it would be hard to write, but I was just hoping."



"I'm sorry dear," the woman on the other end of the line said. "I don't know what to tell you. I'm not sure what's become of William."



"Oh," Buffy said disappointed. "So, Thomas hasn't been able to write either?"



Buffy heard the other woman sigh deeply. The long silence made her wonder if she had hung up before she heard the woman clear her throat. She looked over at Willow as she sat on the bed, then stood up quickly, all the color draining from her face. When Willow saw Buffy's ashen complexion she immediately moved next to her friend. She knew the news wasn't good and as Buffy nodded her head and removed the phone's receiver from her ear, Willow saw her hand shaking as she hung it back up.



"What is it?" Willow asked as she stared at Buffy. "What did they say?"



Buffy looked up at Willow, her mouth going completely dry before she felt her eyes stinging with tears. "He's dead."



"What?" Willow asked quietly, as Buffy flopped down hard on the bed and stared at the floor. "Buffy, what did you say?"



Buffy looked up finally, swallowing the lump in her throat before her tears fell. "They buried Thomas three weeks ago. He's gone Willow."



Willow was in as much shock as Buffy was and as Buffy buried her face in her hands, Willow threw her arms around her friend and held her while she cried. She couldn't even fathom what Buffy was feeling. What little bit of hope Willow had was dwindling fast and as Buffy cried for a man she barely even knew, hope of finding William was beginning to look as grim to her as it did to Buffy.





Chapter 14








It was a struggle to get up in the mornings, but Buffy managed to go through her daily routine best she could. The news of Thomas' death and William's unknown whereabouts pushed Faith into an all-out campaign on every street corner in Sunnydale. She had even rallied as many people as she could find and headed off to L.A. to join a larger group of anti-war protesters, taking a good chunk out of U.C. Sunnydale's student body with her.



Buffy was losing all hope in seeing William return. No word from the army had been sent, but there still hadn't been a letter from him. It was as if he had vanished. Buffy knew that whatever happened to Thomas, William couldn't have been far from him. Those two never left each other's side. As she felt another round of fresh tears welling up in her eyes, Buffy sniffed and blinked repeatedly to clear them away before she headed for the door.



Her birthday came and went once again and this was the first time since she met William that she didn't receive a card. She had no idea how William always managed to find one, but he did. She now knew how he felt the Christmas before when he didn't receive his package. Not receiving her card had hurt. Not hearing from him at all hurt even worse.



"Hey, B! Hold up," Faith yelled, running up the sidewalk before she finally caught up to Buffy. "Man, I've been yelling your name since you walked out of the dorm room."



"Oh, sorry," Buffy told her, smiling slightly as she looked over at her.



"Hey, it's okay," Faith told her. "I know things are kind of stressful right now."



"Yeah," Buffy nodded her head. "So, did you need something?"



"Yes actually," Faith told her. "I need you and your story."



"My what?" Buffy asked, confused.



"Your story," Faith said again. "William's story actually." Faith watched as Buffy's face clouded over in pain. She hated mentioning William's name, but knew Buffy couldn't go around forever living in denial. "Look, I know how hard things are right now, but I promise you this will be worth it."



"How so?"



"Well, I have a friend. He was stationed in Washington as head gofer for some bigwigs there and he's trying to help out with the upcoming rally. I know people will want to hear about William and it'll help our cause."



"I don't know Faith," Buffy told her, sighing heavily as she readjusted the stack of books she held. "I'm barely even managing to make it from day to day now, dredging all this up will only make it worse. Getting up in front of a crowd of people.I just don't think I can do it."



"Come on Buffy. I hate to use blackmail, but I'm not above it," she smiled. "Jason can help you. He has a few connections in Washington and he can be useful in more ways then one. He can help you find William."



Buffy studied Faith as she stood there smiling and she wanted so desperately to believe her friend could help, but so much had gone wrong already that she hated letting herself have an ounce of hope to only have it fall down around her again.



"Come on, what do you say?" Faith asked. "I can take you to meet Jason now if you want."



Buffy looked around her, taking in the surrounding area as she thought of what it would mean to finally know something before she once again turned to Faith. "All right. Let's go."




~*~*~*~*~*~*~





Buffy followed closely behind Faith as they entered the small house a few blocks over from Revello Drive. The house was packed with so many people that Buffy bumped into almost everyone she passed. Activity was heavy and Buffy was amazed at how organized it all seemed. They entered the kitchen and Faith smiled as she turned to her.



"This is Jason," she said, pointing to a tall, thin redhead sitting at the table. "Jason, this is her. This is Buffy."



"Nice to meet you Buffy," Jason said as he stood and held his hand out for her.



"Hi," Buffy replied, shaking his hand before giving him a tiny smile.



"So, Faith tells me you've lost someone," Jason said as he once again took his seat and started going over the stack of papers in front of him. "She didn't use her blackmail scheme to get you over here did she?"



Buffy looked over at Faith and saw her grin before Jason looked up and laughed. "Don't worry," Jason told her. "I'll help you any way I can, whether you help us or not."



"Well, I'll do what I can, but I just don't know how much that'll be," Buffy told him. "I can't really think of much other than William and taking on this campaign isn't something I'm sure I can throw myself into at the moment."



"Well, why don't we see what we can do then you can make up your mind on how much you can help with. Deal?" Jason asked, smiling.



"Okay," Buffy said. "Where do we start?"




~*~*~*~*~*~*~





Buffy had already made eight calls and every one of them was a dead end. Either no one really knew or they were just being difficult. She checked off another number on the list Jason gave to her and looked at the next number before dialing.



"Collins here. How can I help you?"



"Um, Hi," Buffy smiled into the phone. "I was trying to locate a missing person."



"Sorry Miss," Collins said. "You need to contact your local police department."



"No," Buffy said hurriedly as she could tell he was about to hang up. "He's in Vietnam."



"Well, so are several thousand others," Collins replied.



"Well, I haven't heard from him in months and I really need to know what's happened."



"Look," Collins sighed as he closed his eyes. "I get these calls twenty times a day of people looking for their loved ones and I really can't help you. I'm sorry."



Buffy opened her mouth to speak when she heard the buzz in the line as the phone went dead. She slammed the receiver down hard before she screamed in frustration.



"No luck?" Willow asked as she entered the room and shut the door behind her.



"No," Buffy practically growled. "These people are the most infuriating idiots on the plant! They barely even let you get a word in before they cut you off with some smart remark and hang up on you."



"Well, maybe you need to let them know you aren't going to be pushed around," Willow grinned as she tried to demonstrate her resolve face. "If they want to be snotty then you should be too."



"Oh I'd like to be more than snotty," Buffy spat out. "All I want is a little bit of information. You'd think they could spare three minutes of their time to look up someone's name."



"Well, don't give up," Willow told her as she flopped down across the bed. "Someone on that list knows something. You just have to keep calling `till you find them."



Buffy stared at Willow as she tried to get her breathing under control and cleared her mind of all the nasty things she'd like to do to the last rude person she had spoken to before she picked the phone back up and dialed the number. As the line picked up, she didn't even wait for them to say "hello". "Look, I'm not asking for much. I've been on this phone all day and not one person there has been even remotely nice to me and that includes you. Someone very important to me is missing and I'd like to think that you, being in a government office in Washington, would care about someone who is over there risking his life every second of the day. Please help me. I need to know where he is," Buffy hurriedly said as tears filled her eyes. "Please?"



Collins sighed as he shook his head and stared up at the ceiling and leaned back in his chair. "Fine. What's your name?"



"Buffy Summers."



"Well Miss Summers, who is it that you're looking for?" Collins asked her before he grabbed his notepad and a pen.



Buffy sighed and gave silent thanks to whoever was listening before she smiled and wiped her face. "William Bennett." Buffy gave Collins all the information on William that she had, including his last whereabouts and her phone number before she thanked him and hung up. The nervousness in her stomach made her feel ill as she looked over at William's picture. Not knowing was hard. Would knowing be even worse?






~*~*~*~*~*~*~





As the days passed slowly, Buffy practically became a shut-in as she waited by the phone. Her friends all visited to offer her their support and she became more nervous with each passing day. Why was it taking so long? Was that a good thing, or bad?



On the ninth day, the call came in and Buffy had practically ripped the phone out of the wall answering it.



"Miss Summers?"



"Yes. This is Buffy."



"Hi Miss Summers. This is Jeff Collins. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you, but the list of men currently on active duty is long."



"Yes, I'm sure it is," Buffy told him as her heart seemed to beat wildly in her chest.



"Well, it took me a while, but I finally found him," Collins told her. "I searched the data base of the last known whereabouts you gave me but didn't come up with anything. Seems the troop split into several units and moved out. You have no idea how many units we have scattered over there."



Buffy listened to him practically ramble and she could hear paper rustling in the background. With every second that ticked by, her heart rate increased until she felt dizzy.



"I decided to narrow my search and eliminate the most possible and that's when I found him. I wish I had better news for you though," Collins said before pausing briefly. "I'm sorry Miss Summers. William Bennett was killed in the line of duty December twenty-third."



Buffy didn't hear anything else he said after that and as the phone line went dead, she dropped the receiver and slumped to the floor. She sat there staring at the thick carpet while her eyes stung and burned with tears before her body went numb and she closed her eyes.



His face instantly flashed in her minds eye and a chocked sob escaped her before she screamed out her despair.ÿ





~*~*~*~*~*~*~






Willow and Xander entered the room and their laughter died instantly as they saw her. Willow's breath caught in her throat and Xander practically knocked her over as he ran to Buffy's side. She was laying on the floor staring out at nothing and her face was red and streaked with tears. She was softly whimpering and the sound was heartbreaking. No one needed to know what was wrong. It was written all over her face.



"Buffy," Xander asked softly as he knelt in the floor and lifted her body. When she was in his arms, Buffy's tears started again in earnest. All Xander and Willow could do was sit there and offer her silent comfort. The three had been best friends for what seemed like forever and they had seen the best and worst of each other. They had been each other's rock in troubled times and now as they huddled together, helping Buffy in her grieving, Xander and Willow spilled their own tears for the heartbreak Buffy was dealing with. Everyone's worst fear had just become a reality. William was gone.





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