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Chapter 19 - Connection


Spike couldn’t sleep. Not that it was entirely unexpected, considering the object of his every thought for the last year wasn’t even a room away- separated only by a piece of fabric.

He could hear everything.

Every time she sighed.

Every time she rolled over.

And every tear that she cried.

Unable to take it anymore, Spike stood up from the couch and walked through the apartment, wearing only his jeans. Running his hand through his disheveled hair as he pulled back the curtain separating the rooms, he could barely make out her figure as he looked at the bed. Illuminated only by the faint trace of sunlight that edged the heavy curtains, he felt his heart swell as he continued to stare at her small form.

Taking a few steps forward and putting his knee on the bed, he waited for her to tense up, but she remained relaxed, even as he put his full weight on the mattress, laying down next to her and running a comforting hand along her back.

He heard the tears and sniffles and slowly shifted his weight, pulling her securely against his chest. Glancing up for a moment, his eyes narrowed when he saw the picture displayed on her nightstand. The two of them looking blissfully happy with his arms wrapped around her waist.

They looked like a couple.

Studying the picture for a few more moments, his attention was pulled away from it when the scent of another tear slipping down her cheek turned his focus back to the woman in his arms.

“Buffy,” he breathed, nuzzling her hair as he waited for a response. Spike frowned when he heard the steady thumping of her heart, accompanying the tears that didn’t stop. His eyes widened when he realized that she was asleep.

‘Does she do this every night?’ he wondered, pulling her more firmly against him as he tried to soothe her. ‘And does she cry herself to sleep or start crying in her sleep?’

Gently raising the hem of her shirt, Spike let his hand cool the heated skin of her stomach, feeling himself grow hard at the breathy moan that she gave him.

“Spike?” she whispered in confusion, turning her head to look at him in the dimly lit room as she tried to pull herself from the dreamlike reality.

“It’s me,” he murmured, trailing his lips along the column of her neck.

‘What’s happening?’ Buffy wondered, closing her eyes and shaking her head at the feel of his lips caressing her skin. ‘This must be a dream. Spike doesn’t want me. Not really.’

But the soft kisses he was leaving on her skin and the downward spiral that his hand was traveling were telling her otherwise.

“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“Nothing you don’t want,” he said softly.

‘Damn him,’ she thought, gritting her teeth when she felt his fingertips slip under the waistband of the satin pajama pants, teasing the skin he came in contact with, but never falling any lower, even when Buffy unconsciously arched her hips, craving his touch.

“Missed you,” he murmured, closing his eyes as he breathed in her scent. “Missed you so much.”

She felt as if a fire was building inside of her. Silently willing his hand lower, she nearly gasped when it inched down a little bit more.

“Please,” she gasped.

Briefly considering teasing her for a moment, Spike decided that would only be a good way to get kicked out of her bed. Allowing his hand lower access, he grew painfully hard when he discovered how wet she was.

He could feel the heat radiating off her body as he slipped a finger inside of her, feeling her muscles automatically clamp around it. Suppressing a groan as his eyes rolled shut, Spike cursed himself for not taking it slower with her their first and only time together. For not taking his time and relishing in the feel of her as they moved together. For not committing every second of being inside of her to his memory. It had been a year and the memory of their time together wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more.

Of course, it wasn’t like he’d had much control over himself, their first time together, but the way she was responding to him, was nearly driving him crazy with lust.

Her reaction had been similar a year ago, but it was mixed with pain. The kind of pain that he never wanted to cause her.

‘Should have held back,’ he thought. ‘Should have given her a night she deserved instead of taking advantage of her.’ Closing his eyes as he kissed along her neck, trying not to notice the way her entire body seemed to arch against his hand, simultaneously baring the left side of her throat to his hungry gaze.

Fighting every natural impulse that was trying to battle its way to the surface, wanting him to sink his fangs into her jugular, he contented himself with letting his blunt teeth graze along the exposed skin that was offered. Sliding a second finger inside of her, he was soon rewarded with a gasp as her body shuddered in pleasure.

“Let it go, luv,” he whispered, smiling when his cool breath against her ear, combined with his hand working between her thighs, sent a shiver through her. “Just let it go.”

Feeling a sense of panic run through her when his fingers suddenly left her body, Buffy nearly screamed in frustration as they immediately brushed over her clit. Clutching at his arm, needing to find something to hold on to, her fingernails dug into his skin as her hips raised to meet his hand.

She knew she couldn’t hold off anymore when his fingers thrust into her again, letting his thumb gently run along her most sensitive spot. Turning her head toward him as her orgasm washed over her, she sought out his lips but couldn’t find them. Biting down on his arm to suppress a scream, she heard Spike groan in pleasure as he thrust his painfully hard erection against her lower back.

Gasping for breath as she slowly came down, she let her head fall back on the pillow as her body was trembling under his touch when he didn’t stop his movements.

“Too much,” she whispered, shaking her head and weakly pulling at his arm, breathing heavily when he didn’t stop. “Spike, I-I can’t.”

Her stomach clenching in anticipation when he abandoned his hold on her, Buffy’s eyes rolled shut when she felt him settle between her thighs, seconds before his tongue ran along her opening. Teasing her for a moment as her hands grasped at the sheets, she thrashed beneath him.

“Spike, I just ca…”

Trailing off with a cry of pleasure when he latched onto her clit, she arched her entire body against his mouth as he gently bit down, sending her spiraling into a second, more powerful orgasm, nearly blacking out when he didn’t stop his ministrations.

Reluctantly pulling away from her, after a long moment, Spike moved up her body, seeing her slowly open her eyes to look at him.

Slowly realizing what just happened, Buffy gently pushed him out of the way and quickly sat up, still shaking as Spike reached for her, pulling her against his bare chest.

“What is it, pet?” he asked, brushing her hair off her shoulder and leaving soft kisses along the column of her neck.

“Nothing,” she murmured, feeling dizzy under his tender, comforting touch. Shivering when he kissed the back of her neck, her eyes slowly opened as he began to brush the hair away from the other side of her throat. “No,” she whispered, letting the world come crashing back to her as she pulled away.

Standing up and pushing herself away from the bed, Buffy backed away from him, feeling her heart leap into her throat.

“What is it?” Spike asked, quickly getting up and crossing the room in concern.

“We can’t do this,” she whispered, stripping off her shirt and pants and quickly getting dressed in jeans and a tank top. Her movements were a blur as Spike watched her shake her head before she leaned against the wall. He watched as her hands traveled up to her temples, obviously trying to suppress the headache that was wanting to make itself known. “I can’t do this.”

“Alright,” Spike said with a nod, taking another step toward her. “It can wait.”

“No,” she murmured, biting her lip. “This can’t happen. Ever.”

Turning toward the door, wanting to get as far away as possible, she was surprised when Spike blocked her path, pinning her against the wall with a confused expression.

Barely able to keep himself from panicking, he tried to remember what happened to cause this kind of reaction. Looking over his shoulder at the bed, his brows furrowed in confusion. ‘She sat up, I kissed her neck, started to move to the other side and…’

His eyes widened for a brief moment before narrowing into dangerous slits. Angrily spinning around, he grabbed her wrists in one hand, using his body to pin her more firmly against the wall, gritting his teeth as he pushed her hair away from the right side of her neck. The same side that he now realized she had kept carefully concealed since he ran into her.

Clenching his jaw so tight that he was mildly surprised when it didn’t crack, he felt himself begin to unnecessarily breathe, the air flowing through his lungs with sharp gasps as he met her gaze. Buffy looked away, closing her eyes as Spike turned back to the scar on her neck.

The growl slowly filled the room, causing Buffy’s trembling to worsen as Spike’s demon emerged. “You’ve been claimed?!”




Thanks so much to: shelly, Ariel Dawn, Kimber, Laine, spuffette, daisy, Cordykitten, Kar, Brunettepet, Charlene, gypsy_jin, Franchesca, willowmouse, Amanda, Dannii, Caitie, Tasha, Jessica, BuffyRat, Sevvy_O, BuffyandSpikeForever, starhawk, sandra dee, Spike Sweety, Jerrica, Jessiesaly, blondiebear & phantomwriter for reviewing!





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