Author's Chapter Notes:
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Chapter 31 – Contradicting Emotions


Hearing the soft knock on the door, Buffy brushed the tears away, closing her eyes as she stretched out her senses. Letting her shoulders droop in relief when she recognized the familiar signature, she sighed. “Come in, Spike.”

Opening the door, everything in him was practically screaming at him to offer whatever comfort he could provide for her. Closing it with a soft click, he slowly walked over to the bed, sitting down and gently pulling her toward him, breathing a sigh of relief when her arms banded around his waist, seeking the comfort he was providing.

Letting a few tears spill free, Buffy took a deep breath, unable to look at him as she asked, “Did you know?”

“About the prophecy?” he murmured, feeling her nod against him. “No…you heard me downstairs…they didn’t keep me in the loop about it.”

“Would you have told me?” she whispered.

“If things had been different…yeah. I would have told you when you were old enough to handle it.”

“Why?” she whispered, her breath tickling his neck as her shoulders shook with sobs. “Why didn’t he just tell me? Why does he think I can’t handle it?”

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” he murmured into her hair. “I wish I could tell you, but I just don’t know.”

“Was he just going to wait and see what my reaction would be as I watched everyone I loved die while I never aged?”

Pulling back to look at him, Buffy felt her heart speed up when he tenderly brushed the tears away from her cheeks. Not wanting to give herself a chance to think, she let her lips gently brush against his in a soft kiss, pulling back after the barest caress to see his reaction. The shock registered in his eyes before he eagerly leaned forward, reclaiming her lips.

Neither made a move to deepen the kiss for the moment as her hands pushed the duster from his shoulders, allowing him to shrug out of it and the red shirt beneath it before she pulled him down to the bed. His stomach clenched in anticipation when her hands ran over the muscles in his abdomen and chest as she helped him remove his t-shirt before pulling him more forcefully on top of her.

“Make me forget,” she murmured against his lips, letting her eyes roll shut when his hand slid beneath her sweater, gently squeezing her breast, his thumb brushing over her sensitive nipple, leaving Buffy aching for his touch. Hesitantly pushing away from him for a moment, she quickly removed her sweater, leaving her in nothing but a lacey white bra and blue jeans, which Spike made quick work of removing. Feeling his body tighten in preparation as he looked at her, he wasn’t about to question this. Looking at her, sprawled beneath him in nothing but a bra and matching thong, he’d wanted it for too long to stop now. Even if this wasn’t the circumstance he was hoping for, Spike wasn’t going to deny her this.

Feeling his hand trailing along her thigh and brushing against the lace, Buffy moaned when his fingertips brushed her soaked thong out of the way. Arching her body against his as their lips met in a passionate kiss, she gasped against his lips when she felt one of his fingers slowly enter her while his thumb gently massaged her clit, sending little jolts racing through her body.

Squeezing his eyes shut when he felt her inner muscles clamp around him, Spike involuntarily breathed as he gritted his teeth, opening his eyes to see the surprise and pleasure wash over her when he slowly began moving his finger inside of her. Using all of his willpower not to unzip his jeans and pound her into the mattress, Spike settled for nipping at her neck with his blunt teeth.

Groaning when her hand cupped his covered erection, he fought his demon for control as Buffy hurriedly worked on his belt buckle.

“I need you,” she whispered frantically, pushing his jeans past his hips and moving until he was cradled between her thighs, giving him the control he obviously needed.

Parting her legs even more, Buffy arched her body against his. Barely feeling the tip of his cock inside of her, she was practically craving the penetration as her nails dug into his back, leaving deep scratches and nearly drawing blood as she clung to him.

“What the hell is this?!”

Feeling Spike practically leap away from her, Buffy rolled her eyes, letting her full weight briefly fall back to the bed as she heard her father’s voice.

‘This is not happening,’ she thought, shaking her head in frustration, running her hands through her hair.

“Don’t you knock?” she asked, sitting up and grabbing Spike’s red shirt, which was lying on the end of the bed. Glancing at Spike as he finished zipping up his jeans, she could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him.

“Not in my own home,” Angel finally said through clenched teeth, obviously restraining himself from inflicting some immediate violence as he watched Buffy rearrange the shirt so it wasn’t inside out before slipping it on and quickly buttoning it.

“What?” Buffy countered. “Privacy’s not an issue here?” she asked, standing up and smoothing the wrinkled fabric of the shirt before flipping her long hair over the collar.

Angel’s eyes darkened as he watched Spike close the distance between them, reaching out to wrap his arm around her waist.

“Get the hell away from my daughter,” Angel growled, his demon coming to the surface.

Spike reluctantly took a step away, recognizing the danger of the situation, but at the same time, pissed off that he couldn’t be with the woman he loved when he wanted her.

“Get out,” Angel continued in a low voice.

“No,” Spike replied, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I asked you to protect her, and you turn into a cradle-robber?!”

“Excuse me!” Buffy cried. “Standing right here!”

Spike bravely let a smirk come over his lips, tilting his head to study his grandsire. “I think it’s safe to say that she couldn’t be more protected, considering the situation. I don’t think anyone would be able to get to her. And it’s hardly cradle-robbing when she’s over eighteen and clearly wants it.”

Anticipating the blow, he quickly dropped his shoulder, rolling away from Angel and spinning around to retaliate, his eyes widening when Buffy was suddenly standing between them.

“Enough!” she cried, shooting each of them an angry glare before focusing on Angel. “I know what decisions I’m making. I know exactly what I’m getting myself into, and I don’t need you trying to play the protective role.”

“He’s family! You don’t sleep with family, Buffy!”

“Right,” Buffy said with a fake nod. “Because we’re so related, right? The only ‘family’ link I have with Spike is due to the fact that he helped raise me.”

“That’s not true,” Angel growled. “You’re practically related. It’s just…wrong.”

“And tell me, father dear,” she said sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. “Was Darla your lover, mother, or mate before she gave birth to me?”

Seeing his face drop when he realized what she said was true, Buffy whirled around to face Spike.

“And you,” she said, turning toward him with a glare. “I’m not some damn trophy! I’m not a possession that you can flaunt whenever you feel like, because you know what, Spike? I’m not yours.”

Feeling the possessiveness wash over him as she continued to glare at him, Spike suddenly had the urge to show her exactly who she belonged to.

“Get out,” she whispered, shaking her head in disbelief of the entire situation.

“The hell I-”

“Get out!” she yelled, looking at Angel and preparing herself to physically remove him from the room.

“What’s going on?”

Everyone turned in time to see Cordelia standing in the doorway with a shocked expression on her face.

“Oh boy,” she breathed, taking in the disarray of Spike’s clothes and the fact that Buffy was standing there in his red shirt that practically fell to her knees. “Angel…I think we should leave them alone,” she said quietly, walking forward and gently taking him by the arm.

“I’m not leaving her alone with him,” he growled.

“Angel,” Cordy began in a slightly patronizing tone. “Buffy is a big girl. She can take care of herself. You know that, so why don’t we just give her some privacy, and you can talk to her when you’ve cooled down, okay?”

Sparks still seemed to shoot between father and daughter as they glared at each other. Finally relenting, Angel allowed himself to practically be dragged from the room, leaving Spike and Buffy alone.

“Buffy,” Spike whispered, taking a step forward to wrap his arms around her.

“Don’t,” she said softly, turning around and pushing him away. “I don’t want to see you either. I just want to be alone.”

“I thought that’s what you didn’t want,” he countered with a glare, trying to cover up the hurt that was welling up inside of him. Seeing Buffy look at the floor with tears shimmering in her eyes, Spike was suddenly reminded that she was just a girl. Just someone who had unknowingly fallen in love with him and was now fighting it with everything she had. And he had practically mocked what she was willingly ready to give him. “Alright, luv,” he whispered, seeing her raise her watery eyes to look at him. “I’ll give you some time. Just promise me we can talk later.”

Hesitating for a moment, Buffy finally nodded. “I promise.”





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