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Chapter 32 – A Father’s Love


She was anticipating it.

It’s not like it was completely unexpected. After all, she’d been awake for over two hours, pacing through the room, not bothering to change her clothes as she waited for the sound of that fateful knock.

Opening the door to see her father on the other side, Buffy decided to offer a meager peace offering, giving him a hesitant smile, which, to his credit, he tried his hardest to return.

“Come in,” she said softly, opening the door even more.

“What’s going on, Buffy?” he asked, barely even inside the room before he turned to face her, cringing at the fact that she was still wearing Spike’s shirt, in spite of the fact that it fully covered her.

“No pleasant small talk- check,” Buffy muttered to herself before turning her gaze to her father. “There’s nothing going on,” she finally whispered. “I thought that…I thought that I loved him…a long time ago.”

Crossing the room with a heavy sigh, Angel suddenly wished that it wasn’t daylight, wanting to be able to look out the window or do something that wouldn’t be hazardous to his health. He just wanted something to get the mental images out of his brain of Spike on top of his daughter.

“You don’t love him anymore?” he asked, turning to look at her after a long moment.

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered, looking at the floor to fight the tears in her eyes. “We can never be together.”

Angel sighed heavily, closing his eyes before speaking. “Not that I’m pushing for this relationship…this is simply for my own curiosity…why can’t you ever be together?”

“Because he doesn’t love me,” she said in a choked whisper, never raising her eyes from the floor as she continued to hold the tears back. “Not the way he loved Lucy,” she said in a barely audible whisper, causing Angel’s eyes to nearly snap up to her. “Nothing is going to happen,” Buffy continued, doing what she could to reassure him. “What you saw…it was just about comfort. Nothing else.”

“Do you still love him?”

Unable to meet his gaze, Angel felt his heart fall with every second that ticked away without an answer.

“I’m not going to be with him,” she finally whispered.

Running a hand over his face, Angel had no idea what to say. ‘Maybe I should have let Cordy handle this.’

“Look,” Buffy said, turning her gaze to him as she sat down on the bed. “You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to offer any fatherly advice or make threats against Spike or give me ultimatums. You’re as new to this as I am.”

Angel hesitantly walked over to the bed, sitting down next to her.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the father you wanted,” he said softly, looking over at her.

“I’m sorry I seem like an ungrateful brat half the time,” she replied with a slight smile, feeling tears spring to her eyes when he kissed her temple.

“I love you, Buffy.”

“I know,” she whispered. “That’s never been a question…not really.”

Giving her a slight nod, he slowly stood up and walked toward the door. “I’m not happy about this, but…”

“It’s okay,” she said with a forced smile. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back to my bright and shiny self before you know it.”

* * * * *

Walking into the lobby, Angel suppressed the growl in his throat when he saw Spike standing by the open back door, smoking a cigarette in the shaded area.

Clenching his teeth as he walked toward him, he watched as Spike crushed the cigarette under his heel.

“Come to stake me?” he muttered, not bothering to turn around and face his grandsire.

“Maybe.”

Slowly turning to face him, Spike’s jaw set as he looked at his grandsire. “Let’s have it out, then. Get it over with,” he said, holding his arms out to his sides, inviting Angel to do whatever he needed to do to get it out of his system.

“Has it happened before?” Angel asked, ignoring the statement as he glared at the other man.

“Once,” he replied honestly, preparing himself for a fight when he saw Angel’s jaw tick.

“Have you claimed her?”

“No,” Spike said, shaking his head. “I would.”

Taking an unneeded breath, Angel briefly closed his eyes, wanting to disassociate himself from the situation. “Have you bitten her?”

“Twice.”

“Twice,” he muttered, clenching his fists, knowing that Buffy wouldn’t forgive him if he did something to Spike. “She loves you, you know?” Angel said, gritting his teeth.

“She did,” Spike replied miserably, looking at the floor for a moment.

Not bothering to correct him, Angel took a moderate amount of pleasure in the fact that Spike didn’t know Buffy’s current feelings.

“I wanted you to watch out for her, because you were the only one for the job.”

“I know,” Spike said quietly.

“I knew you would protect her, in spite of how much you might hate me…and if you hurt her, I’ll kill you and make you suffer in ways Angelus can’t imagine.”

Eyes widening in surprise, Spike watched as Angel, with an enormous amount of willpower, turned and walked into his office, slamming the door so hard, the casing cracked.

* * * * *

Stepping into her room, Spike looked around, surprised to see Buffy moving around the room, throwing her clothes into one of her bags as she haphazardly packed.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” he asked, shutting the door behind him as he watched her back straighten with the question.

“Leaving,” she muttered, resuming what she was doing as she picked up a pair of jeans to put on.

Snatching them from her grasp, Spike held them out of her reach as her eyes finally met his.

“You said we’d talk.”

“It’s called a phone,” she replied, turning away from him. “Handy little invention.”

“I don’t want to do this over the phone.”

“Well, too bad,” Buffy cried, spinning around to look at him. “I don’t want to do this at all.”

“Yeah? Have a nice life.”

Seeing the panic flash in her eyes, Spike watched as she quickly masked it, biting her lip as she turned to face the bed.

“What are you saying?” she whispered, refolding a shirt while she waited for his answer, trying to maintain the illusion of being in control.

“You’re always the one running away…I’m tired of chasing you.”

“I never asked you to chase after me,” she cried, spinning around to face him again. “I recall mentioning how I wanted to be left alone- you were the one who insisted on staying. You were the one who…”

“Who what?” he asked in a low voice, grabbing her arm when she tried to turn away. “Who what?”

“Who made me fall in love with you,” she whispered, keeping her eyes downcast when she felt his hand fall away from her arm, not trusting herself to look into his eyes.

“Where are you going?” he asked softly, after a long moment.

“Away,” she whispered.

“Away?”

“I don’t know where I’m going,” she said softly.

Gritting his teeth as he looked at the ceiling, Spike closed his eyes, knowing what he had to do. “I’m going with you.”

“I don’t need a guardian…I’m eighteen, I’m sure my father will release you from your obligations.”

“That’s not why I’m going,” he said softly, seeing her shoulders tense at the implication in his words.

“I can’t offer you anything,” she whispered, taking a deep breath.

“I didn’t ask,” he replied calmly.

“I’m not the same person, Spike,” she said softly. “I’m not used to answering to people and I won’t make myself go back to that.”

“I can handle it.”

Buffy looked up at him, studying his expression for a moment. “Okay…let’s say we go somewhere. And since you’re obviously not asking me for anything, like you said, what if I leave for a day or a night with another guy? Because that’s what people do when they’re on their own…can you handle that?”

It was a test. She knew it. He knew it. The question was- would he take the bait?

Tilting his head to the side, Spike regarded her for a long moment before she finally saw a spark of yellow flash in his eyes. “You go off with a strange man or any man, for that matter, and rest assured I would snap his neck before the night was out.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow in response, turning to face the bed.

“Not the answer you wanted, sweetheart?” he asked in a condescending tone.

“You know what? You’re nothing but a typical man!” Buffy cried, spinning around to face him, finding herself inches away from him. “Possessive and demanding. I offer to give you everything I have and you throw it back in my face. But the second, the very second that I could possibly move on with my life, you have to wedge yourself back into it and play with my feelings again! It’s all just a big game to you, isn’t it, Spike?”

Smashing his lips to hers in a crushing kiss, they practically battled each other before Spike felt her submit to him, melting into his embrace as she clutched at his duster, before noticing what she was doing. Breathlessly pushing him away, her eyes narrowed when she realized what happened.

“Don’t do that!” she cried indignantly. “You don’t…you can’t just control me, Spike.”

“Never said I could.”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head with a mocking smile. “Why say anything when you just use something else…something intimate to control me.”

Closing his eyes with the realization that he’d done it again, Spike let his weight fall to the bed. “I’m sorry, pet,” he said with sincerity. “It’s the demon…craves dominance and submission.”

Reminding herself that he was technically still a soulless monster, she took a deep breath, knowing that she wasn’t being fair. Sitting down with a heavy sigh and a dejected expression, Buffy let her shoulder brush against his as they stared at the wall. “It’s not just your fault,” she whispered. “I could have said no at anytime, but I just… how can I have so much power and still feel so…”

“Powerless?”

“Yeah.”

Turning toward her, Spike let his hand gently massage the small of her back as he affectionately nuzzled her neck, wanting to give her something tender for a change. “Luv, you couldn’t be powerless if you tried.”





A/N I wanted to give you guys the big Angel/Spike confrontation and I really tried. It would have easily flowed out if he was the jealous lover, but I didn’t feel like the ‘father’ would do it. I kept thinking about season 4 of Angel and it just didn’t fit, so I hope none of you are disappointed.


Thanks so much to: Caatje, stace, gypsy_jin, Annie, Cecilia, Franchesca, shelly, starhawk, Brunettepet, Cordykitten, Kar, Reciprocity, Kimber, spufette, pj, jennybean, Caitie, Amanda, Panta_Rei, Ariel Dawn, phantomwriter, RogueAngel, VamptasticA, Jessica, daisy, BuffyRat, BuffyandSpikeForever, Brittany, Tasha, Sevvy_O, Crystal Pegasus, & Emma for reviewing!





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