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Chapter Twelve

Not surprisingly, Buffy awoke before Spike. Somehow she managed to free herself from his grasp and crawl out of bed. She had a wicked thirst for blood that morning. She'd had a craving for it after the accidental blood drinking incident, but had ignored it. This morning however, she couldn't. It didn't even turn her stomach the way she thought it would to prepare it. And as she took long gulps of it, she felt satisfied in the fact that obviously the baby needed it. She sighed heavily as she sat down at the kitchen table and tried to figure out exactly what the hell was going on. Not just with her, but with Spike and Giles as well. The two men that had taught her everything she knew about Slayers and vampires were blatantly ignoring all the weirdness that was Tara popping into their lives like that. Okay, so yes, Slayers were all over and it all depended on when they were called. So, maybe the Slayer before Tara had died later, thereby causing Tara to be called later than most Slayers were. Okay, that was a rational explanation. But Buffy wanted confirmation on it. She wanted to know who the last Slayer was and when she died. And weren't all Slayers equipped with Watchers at the point of call? Why was Tara without a Watcher? The innocent little girl act wasn't flying with Buffy. She couldn't explain it, but there was something so off with Tara it ate at her. Why wasn't anyone else—namely Giles and Spike – catching on to that? They were usually incredible judges of character and it was as if they were blindsided. Buffy sat upright, realization hitting her. Yes, blindsided. That's it exactly. Something had to be making them act that way. Something about Tara. Surely they couldn't be that taken by her helpless act—could they? The question was, where to start?

Willow, that's where.

The girl had to know things. Spike said they'd been friends. Well, that was according to what Tara had told him. Willow had claimed to have a girlfriend. And the way their heads had been bent in conversation yesterday, had signaled closeness that was more than just friendly.

Making her way to the bathroom, Buffy cleaned herself up quickly and changed. Scrawling a quick note to Spike that she'd gone out for a bit, she headed on her way out. She was going to pay Willow a visit.


Finding the girl proved to more difficult than she had thought. Giles had been hesitant to release the information to her, admonishing her instead for her behavior the night before. Buffy thought it best to go in one ear and out the other. She wasn't going to get into it with Giles too. She had enough problems with Spike at home to tend to. When Buffy stated that she merely wanted a chance to apologize to Willow and maybe since Spike was going to patrol with Tara, she could work magic with Willow—he'd relented in a big way and gave her Willow's address.

Knocking on Willow's door, Buffy had a brief feeling of guilt wash over her. She was no better than they were at lying, really. She placed her hand over her stomach and told herself that it was for a good reason. She was protecting her family by getting to the bottom of the mystery.

"Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, surprised.

"I need to talk to you. Is this a bad time?"

Willow stared at her in disbelief. "You need to talk to me?"

"Yes. Do you mind if we went to the park or something to talk?" The idea of being some place where Tara might have inhabited made her sick to her stomach.

"Uh, yeah. Let me just grab my purse."

Willow joined her a minute later and smiled sheepishly at Buffy. "I'm surprised to see you."

"I can imagine your surprise. I haven't been exactly welcoming to you."

Willow looked down, "I don't blame you Buffy. I really don't. I mean, you were right last night. I did lie to Giles and you. I just didn't know what else to do and Tara was insistent about it . . . I think she's really scared about being a Slayer."

"Is she?" That doesn't exactly jive with what Spike told her.

"Yeah, I mean it's a lot of responsibility. But you should know about that huh?"

"I'm not a Slayer."

"But you have the powers – and then some – of one. You still fight."

Buffy looked down at and away as they walked. "I haven't been able to fight lately."

"As well you shouldn't. You're pregnant. How is it that you became pregnant by a vampire anyway? I thought you know, their boys didn't swim."

"Your guess is as good as mine, Willow."

"Spike seems like a really great vampire—guy—what should I call him?"

Buffy smiled, "Guy. He prefers guy. Depending on my mood, I prefer guy too. Makes him feel good."

"Tara used to go on and on about what a great professor he was and how smart. Not to mention how handsome."

Buffy nodded slowly. Willow was trying to talk Tara up, that much was clear. Trying to make Buffy like her. Little did Willow know however that what she was doing was digging Tara's grave.
"So, um, how does your girlfriend feel about all the help you've been giving Tara? I mean, you've been extremely helpful to her lately. Above and beyond with all the patrolling and training. I think I'd be jealous."

Willow fell silent. "I don't think I have a girlfriend anymore," she said glumly.

"I'm sorry. Was it because of Tara?"

"No, well . . . yeah. Tara was my girlfriend Buffy."

She knew it! She felt like yelling she knew it at Willow, but instead stopped and gazed imploringly at Willow. "What happened? You're not together anymore? I know that if Tara is scared about being the Slayer it could just be that she's also afraid that you'll get hurt. Get caught in the crossfire and all that stuff. I had to separate my friends very much so from my work. They still don't know. Well, they have an inkling, but I've never elaborated on it. Usually Slayers don't have much in the way of friends and lovers." She was getting really good at bullshitting; she wanted to pat herself on the back for it.

"Do you think that could be it?" Willow asked hopefully. She looked so sad that Buffy was getting the distinct feeling that Willow really was an innocent in all this. "She changed ever since she was called."

"How was she called without a Watcher? It just doesn't make sense to me. It's actually worrisome that she doesn't have one." Don't lay it on too thick, Buffy.

"She just knew. She was at my door step one day telling me she was the Slayer. I didn't know anything about it and then she told me about when she was little, but. . . I thought I knew everything about her!" Willow was unloading, a dam had broken inside her and she was letting it all out. "We'd been together for over a year. You figure after all that time, you know a person. I mean, she knew all about me being a witch. But she never told me that story about her best friend or knowing about Slayers. And then one day, there she is on my doorstep telling me she's a Slayer and blabbing this horrific story to me about what she witnessed. It was overwhelming to take all in. I was worried, because, well, I love her and I didn't know what I could do to help. She told me I must know someone that could help her; that could help us. She cried and told me she didn't want to die. So of course I had to tell her about you and Spike and Giles. She begged me to go to Giles and get some help. I was so scared for her Buffy, so that's what I did." Tears streamed down her cheeks now. "I probably should have just gone to see you first, but I was sure you'd think I was a lunatic and turn me away. I'm sorry, Buffy. I didn't mean to use you and Giles that way. She was just so insistent. . . Then when Spike started teaching at the school, she took his class."

"Did she know who he was? Had she seen us?"

"Not that I know of, no. She is a lit major, though I thought she'd already taken that class. . . She came home and told me that she'd met Spike." She stopped and wiped away some tears. "Ever since then, she'd been pulling back from me. I just don't know what to do Buffy. She runs hot and cold so often. . . she loves me and then she backs off. I love her so much and when she's there I can't deny her . . . I don't know what to do," Willow said so helplessly Buffy felt sorry for the girl. The wheels were turning in Buffy's mind. Things were clicking into place.

"Willow, do you know if Tara grew up around here?"

"She grew up in Salem, actually."

Buffy looked down at her watch. It was still early enough for her to take a bus to Salem. Spike was probably going to be nursing his hangover. . . a trip into Salem would take a while though. No, she'd go home first to Spike and then continue her investigation tomorrow. Giving Willow a huge hug, she offered to buy the distraught girl some lunch.





A/N: wasn't too sure about this chapter...what did you guys think? Did I give away too much or just enough?





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