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Chapter 15

"Should I sleep on the couch or just go to my mother's so you don't have to see me?" Buffy asked wearily as they walked through the door at home.

Spike stopped and turned to her. "What?" Once the words sunk in and the meaning behind them, his entire expression softened. "Buffy, no . . . " he shook his head and walked to her, his arms reaching to gather her in his arms. Buffy held up her hands to stop him. He looked hurt, but he had no idea how much having him defend Tara hurt her. Whatever spell was being woven, it was tearing them apart and it killed her that Spike couldn't see it. She didn't want to fall in his arms just to have him push her away later.

"Buffy?" he asked softly, sadly and it was almost her undoing. "No," he was shaking his head. "You're my wife and my mate and you stay here with me."

"You don't act like I'm your mate. I asked you once if it was me or if it was
because I had super powers. I also said once that we'd never given anyone
else a chance. Is it true Spike? Are you finding the accusations I once made
true now? Do you wish you could give me up for Tara?"

His eyes widened and he rushed to her, wrapping her in his arms before
she could stop him. "No, Buffy. God how can you think that? It's you, only
you. You know that, you have to know that!"

"You were upset with me today for thinking I didn't trust you. When the
fact of the matter is, you don't trust me. Can't you see it? Can't you see that
when Tara is away you're with me again, but when she's near all we do is
argue? Spike, I saw it in class today. I saw how you kept looking at her!
Why can't you see it? It's a spell Spike. She's got you on a spell and it's
tearing us apart and I just want you to trust me!" She was crying now and
she didn't care to hold back. She was just so frustrated by the whole
situation and by not having proof . . .

"I'm just really tired of it," Buffy murmured, trying to move out of his
arms. He gripped her against him.

"What do you mean?" he asked hoarsely.

"I mean that I'm tired. I really am just tired. Let me go Spike."

"You're staying here Buffy. God dammit you can't just run off every time
something gets a little rough. You just take off. Just like you did when you
went to London—"

She pushed him away roughly. "How long is that going to be flung in my
face for?"

"When you stop running from us!"

"You don't see what's happening!"

"Then make me see it!"

"I can't make you see it without proof. You don't see it when she's around.
She's always around in some way even when she's not here!!"

"I don't know what to do Buffy. I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry, please just don't
leave me."

"That's just it Spike," she sobbed. "I'm not leaving you. You're leaving me."



In the end, Buffy did stay as Spike wouldn't let her past the door and Buffy just didn't have it in her to argue any longer. He also refused to leave her and crawled in next to her, holding her close to him and refusing to let her go. Ever. Buffy just let him and listened with tears streaming down her cheeks. She wondered if she was going to have to threaten leaving to get him back until she could prove Tara was some kind of fraud.

The next morning he'd begged her to stay with him and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't. She was on a mission and the mission was to find out the truth about Tara. If she could prove at least one part of Tara's Slayer story was a lie and get proof, then she'd be able to have something tangible to convince her loved ones with. Her other agenda was to find out if there was any foul play in Tara's past. Something lurking there that made her evil. A rough childhood, dabbling in the Dark Arts—something, anything. If she had a background to work with, she might have a better way to fight and conquer her. She was finally able to leave that morning with the promise that she'd check in and that he could call to check in as well. Making a big show of showing him the cell in her purse, she left.

She did plan on taking her mother with her. She was the irrefutable one. The one that Spike would listen to in a heartbeat. She filled her mother in on what was going on as they drove into Salem and Joyce vowed to help in anyway she could. She had been upset and appalled, not to mention hurt that she'd been kept out of the loop. Buffy explained it was probably best that way since any exposure to Tara would have turned her too.

Tracing Tara was easy. Finding the library, she did a search on the net and then looked up her parents which Willow had informed her were still alive. She then did a search on the happenings in the town on a death of a little girl by mysterious means around the time Tara had been a young girl. She came across nothing of the sort. With an address in her hand, she found a nearby electronics store and bought herself a compact tape recorder. She'd decided in the end that if Tara's family or anything remotely associated with the girl could have been contaminated with whatever mojo was working on everyone else but Buffy, her mother could be contaminated in kind and thus be of no help to her. Leaving her mother to wait in the car, Buffy made the trek up to Tara's childhood home and knocked on the door.

A woman, aged about forty or so answered the door. She had a friendly smile, Tara's glossy brown hair and bright eyes. She was a bit on the frumpy side, wearing plain brown pants and a white t-shirt at least two sizes too big.

"Hi, can I help you?"

"Mrs. McClay?"

"Yes, that's me," she looked at Buffy strangely.

"Hi, my name is uh . . . Brenda. Brenda Starr." Great job Buffy. Couldn't
even come up with a name from the high school yearbook. One thing was
for sure. She wasn't going to be asked to go into Private Investigation
anytime soon. Best to keep going with the ruse. "I went to high school with
Tara for a while until I moved away and I was wondering if she still lived
here? It's been so long since I've seen her . . . "

"Oh hon, Tara doesn't live here anymore. Well, I take that back. She does
on holidays and the occasional weekend but she goes to school at Boston
College."

"Oh," Buffy frowned, "That's too bad that I missed her."

"Come in, come in. Would you like something to drink?"

"Oh sure! Thanks!" Buffy entered the small home, taking in the old and
worn woodwork and the clutter of papers on tables and on the floor. It was
welcoming, homey and more importantly—no sour smell.

Mrs. McClay bustled about the kitchen, making iced tea.

"Salem is just so busy and fun, isn't it?" Buffy started.

The woman smiled. "It is. Almost makes me feel that much more
protected, being surrounded by so many witches."

Buffy smiled, thanking her silently for the opening. "Do you practice at
all?"

"Heavens no. But I don't look down on those who do."

"Tara, she seemed interested in Wicca for a while there . . . "Buffy let that
trail off, hoping that Mrs. McClay would take the bait.

She nodded as she poured Buffy a tall glass of tea. "She was. Went through
a phase –well, you must remember since you were friends."

"Yeah, she never spoke much to me about it." She hoped she didn't blow
her cover.

"She was interested, but it never took flight. She dabbled in it, but it's not
for everyone you know?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I get that completely." Ha! If she only knew! Some
were called to it from lifetimes past, others, like herself, were born with it.

Mrs. McClay cocked her head to the side and studied Buffy. "She never
spoke about you, I'm afraid to say."

"Well, Tara and I, we, uh, we talked in school mostly, but we never saw
much of each other outside of school. I always thought she was rather nice
though."

"Yeah, Tara was always quiet in high school. She was always such a loner."

"I remember," Buffy replied, nodding.

"Always so shy, Tara was. Her best friend growing up was quite outspoken
and I'm afraid after her friend left, she kind of retreated within herself."

Could this be the infamous friend who'd died from the vampire?

"Oh?"

Mrs. McClay smiled fondly. "Amanda Livingston. She moved when Tara
was young."

"How young?"

"Ten."

"I remember her mentioning an Amanda now that you mention it! She
made it seem as if she died or something, the whole thing was so dire,"
Buffy said giggling nervously.

Mrs. McClay rolled her eyes. "I suppose when you're so young and your
best friend moves across country it does seem as if it is the end of the
world. Amanda was her link to the world. She kept her busy that one. And
her family was close to ours so it was very sad when they moved. She and
Tara lost touch, as you do when you're young."

"That's too bad. Tara is such a sweet girl."

"She is. She found a new best friend I hear in Boston. A girl named Willow.
All Tara did the first year she attended was talk of her."

"Sounds like you don't hear from her much anymore."

Mrs. McClay shook her head sadly. "I don't. Seems almost as if she
dropped off the planet. She used to call every day and now . . . now we –her
father and I – are lucky to hear from her once a week."

"That's too bad," Buffy said, feeling the pieces all clicking into place.
Something was afoot all right, and Buffy had a sudden sinking feeling that it
might not have anything to do with Tara at all.


A/N: thank you so much for the reviews guys!! :)



















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