Chapter 21

Buffy opened her eyes reluctantly. She didn't want to face the day or its responsibilities. She just wanted to shut it out for a little while longer. Her dreams had been full of bouncing ball of lights and whispers of congratulations. She took that as a good sign. However, she wasn't sure what the congratulations was for. The fact that she knew the truth or that she was ultimately going to defeat Tara?

"I know you're awake," Spike rumbled groggily next to her.

She popped an eye open. "I don't want to get up."

He slid in closer to her and wrapped his arms around her. "Then don't.
Stay and rest."

"I can't," she sighed and wriggled free, sitting up against the headboard. A
look of hurt passed over his face that she had moved and he sat up next to
her.

"Did you sleep well?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she said absently and now slid off the bed. How was she going to
tell them everything? Should she and Whistler split up and she get Spike
while Whistler got her mom and Giles. Her mom was going to take it hard.
She was still trying to come to terms to the fact that while she was her
mothers daughter, in a way she wasn't. And Spike. . . there was no telling
how he was going to take it. She looked over to him and found him watching
her, sadly.

"What?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nothing."

"No, what? It's something by the way you're looking at me. So tell what it
is."

He frowned, "You left my arms."

Her heart just about melted at that. She gave him a weak smile. "I'm sorry
baby. I've got a lot on my mind. Just trying to figure things out."

He crawled out of bed and rested his hands on her waist. "Care to share
now?"

"That's what I was trying to figure out," she chuckled nervously. "How to
share."

His grip on her hips tightened. "This is big innit Buffy?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Am I going to not like it?"

"I'm not sure. I think some parts you might like."

"Tell me before I go out of my mind wondering what it could be," he
pressured, jostling her a bit.

"No, I think it might be best if I tell you all at once. It affects all of us."

He frowned again. "Okay."

"Don't worry. I'll tell you everything and then . . . then comes the fun part."

"And that is?"

She sighed heavily. "Saving the day. Isn't that what it always comes down
to."

"You're not going into battle."

"I don't have a choice this time."



It was time to tell all. Spike, she could tell, was nearly crawling out of his
skin to find out. He was especially worried by her cryptic words and the
presence of Whistler only added to that. He was, quite literally, by her side
all morning. Giles and Joyce were quiet, which meant they were silently
contemplating what was happening.

"Ready kid?" Whistler asked after breakfast.

She nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Shall I start?"

Letting out the air between her teeth, she shook her head. "I think I
should."

"Would someone please bloody tell me what the hell is going on?" Spike
demanded, frustrated.

Buffy reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Remember how I
thought I was becoming immortal?"

Spike and Giles nodded; Joyce paled.

"Well, as it turns out, I was born immortal."

It was like waiting for a hand grenade to go off. The blank stares would
eventually give way to –

"What?!" Spike roared, standing up.

"Bloody hell!" Surprisingly that was Giles.

"Oh my." Joyce.

"Guys, we've got a lot to get through. Do you think you could listen and
hold all comments to the end so I can get through this?" Buffy asked,
mostly directing that question to Spike.

He sat back down and nodded quickly, taking her hands in his and kissing
them. Giles and Joyce fell silent and waited.

"I'm what they call a Light Bringer and my job is to . . . " she relayed the
whole story that Whistler had told her, and the demon jumped in and
helped a few times. Spike's hands were gripping hers tightly and she could
see a myriad of emotions playing in his eyes.

"You're not really my daughter?" Joyce whispered tearfully.

"Mom, I am. I chose you. I lived inside you and you gave birth to me. We
always knew there had to be some reason for why I had all these powers.
Now we know," Buffy explained, trying to assuage her mother's
discomfort—as well as hers.

"How do you feel?" Giles asked curiously.

Buffy grinned slightly. "The same Giles. Except now I know a whole lot
more about myself and where I came from and what I am."

"You're not a ‘what'. You're Buffy. My mate, my wife and the mother of my
child," Spike half growled.

"Yes, Spike, I am," Buffy reassured him.

"You're not leaving once this mission is over are you?" he demanded. "Is
she?" he now demanded of Whistler.

"No, honey, I'm not going anywhere. Not unless I'm killed."

Spike was nearly crushing her hand now.

"Spike, honey, need the hands kay?"

He loosened his grip.

"How do you die?" Spike asked.

She smirked. "Stake through the heart."

His eyes widened. "Like me?"

She nodded. "My essence is in my heart. That gets released, I go."

He shook his head, eyes glittering with tears. "You don't leave me. Ever.
You go, I go."

"Don't say that, Spike. If anything happened to me, you'd need to stay and
take care of our child."

His eyes closed and tears fell as he took in an unnecessary and shaky
breath.

"Spike, nothings really changed."

He looked at her incredulously. "How can you say that?"

"Okay, you're right a lots changed, but like you said, I'm still Buffy. The
Buffy that fought demons and vampires. The Buffy that still risked her life
before. The Buffy that still needed your help and protection. It's still me,
there's just another added part to me. And hey, our child? Not prophesized.
Our baby is a miracle. Literally."

"Before I could keep you safe. You weren't supposed to fight. You were
supposed to be . . . to be. . ."

"Barefoot and pregnant?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," he said guiltily.

"The Darkness is my fight now. Course, it's all of ours, but mainly mine. It's
my mission, it's the reason I'm here."

"And me. You're here for me," Spike said, his voice cracking with emotion.

"I always told you that I wanted us to be together because it was our
choice. Now we know it was," Buffy said, keeping her voice light though her
eyes were filling up with tears.

"You were meant for someone else," Spike choked out.

"That's one way of looking at it. Or, you can look at it as the one that I
could only fall in love with was you."

Spike got up and sat next to her, taking her in his arms. "I love you so
much," he murmured into her neck. "I can't ever lose you."

"And you won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"I think we should give them some time to themselves," she heard
Whistler say to Giles and Joyce. "Let's say we get out of here for a bit? I'd
be happy to answer any questions."

Buffy focused all her attention on Spike, wrapping her arms around him.
"Why the tears? It is hard to swallow, but it's really good. It's still sinking
in, but it's good isn't it?"

Spike cupped her face in his hands. "It's just a shock. Its relief that you're
not dying, that you're safe and that our baby is okay. Its just –after
everything that's happened—what if she would have succeeded? What if I
had lost you? What if she had killed you? What if she would have won and I
would have had to spend the rest of my existence without you?"

"Ssshh…Don't think like that. You'll drive yourself crazy." She smiled then,
trying to lighten the mood. "I'm a powerful being Spike, I would have
figured it out eventually. I work for angels!"

Spike smiled then, "Always knew you were my angel."

"I'll try not to groan at how clichéd that was," she laughed.

He kissed her softly, then passionately. "Need you. Now. Need to be inside
you, feel you all around me," he whispered frantically.

Buffy nodded, her need for him overcoming her and making her frantic as
well.

Standing up, he swept her up in his arms and carried her into the bedroom,
placing her on the bed.

"No foreplay," she whispered and yanked his shirt over his head. "Just
inside me, please."

He captured her lips in his and tugged on her pants, nearly tearing them
off and tossing them away. Stepping away, he dropped his pants and kicked
them aside. She knelt before him on the bed and pushed him down so that
he lay on his back. Straddling him, she sank onto him and in unison they let
out a moan of mutual satisfaction.

He met her thrust for thrust, his movements becoming more frantic as
their coupling continued. He sat up and lifted her shirt off her body,
nuzzling her breasts. Wrapping her arms around him, she felt her orgasm
coming.

Needing even more of him, she bent her head and buried her face in his
neck and bit down. "Mine!" she nearly shouted and then felt his fangs
pierce her skin as he returned the claim. They came together, the force of
their mutual orgasm nearly causing them to black out. They rolled
themselves to spoon position, Buffy's back to his front. They murmured to
each other in only words they could understand, stroking each others skin
and reaffirming to each other that they were well and together.





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