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Chapter 17- Questions and Answers

Moaning, feeling a headache coming on Dawn started being aware of her surroundings and the smell of tobacco and old leather and Spike’s cologne hit her like a tidal wave. She wasn’t dreaming. Sitting up quickly she tightened the coat around her, fighting the dizzyness that threated to overwhelm her she looked to the figure sitting beside her.

“Is it really you?” Dawn could barely choke out the words for fear that maybe she was dreaming and this was just another one of her own nightmares.

“Yeah, it’s really me bit, I don’t know how or why, but I’m really here.” It wasn’t two seconds when he and the chair he was sitting in came close to going crashing to the ground.

Dawn launched herself off the bed in the blink of an eye and into Spike’s arms. Sobbing so hard that her body shook, she clung to him as if her life depended on it.

“Shh, it’s okay platelet. The Big Bad’s back and I promise I won’t ever leave you again.” Stroking her hair he realized that he was crying almost as hard as she was.

“Spike, we have to find Buffy she’s been missing all day. I’m really worried, it’s just not like her to take off without telling me, not after everything that’s happened.” Dawn hugged him with every bit of strength she had in her body, she had one member of her family back and she didn’t plan on losing anymore.

“We’ll find her Dawn. Angel’s team is already working on it. We’ll have Buffy back in no time. She may have just needed a break and felt like you were in good hands.” Spike dried the girls tears knowing that his face was just as wet as hers.

Neither one was aware that they were being watched, not by one but by four people, each one not knowing whether to let their presence known or not and each one having a different opinion to the scene.

Fred thought the sight was sweet and her heart melted for both of them. The big brother missing his little sister, her relationship with Angel was like that, they weren’t as close as these two, but she liked to think that maybe someday they would be.

Gunn stared in indifference hoping how soon they would realize they were all standing there, so that they could get this mission done and overwith, he had briefs to see to still tonight for a couple of cases that were in court tomorrow.

A newly home Wesley stared at the tableau in front of him in total shock. He had always been curious as to the relationship between the Slayer’s sister and William The Bloody. Some of his sources in Sunnydale had said that they were extremely close and friendly even before Spike had gotten his soul, but he had never expected this kind of closeness. She looked almost as if she was the safest place in the world to be instead of a 120 plus year old deadly vampire who could snap her neck in the blink of an eye soul or no soul. What was even stranger was that William the Bloody had a lap full of human teenager and didn’t even look like he was hungry but in fact looked like he was holding one of the rarest gems in the world.

Angel was furious. He had planned on breaking it gently to Dawn that Spike was alive, but only after decided when the time was right. Spike had lied to him when he had said he was popping out for a drink. He had planned all along in coming for the girl. What if his showing up would have caused her harm, Buffy would have killed him if anything would have happened to his sister. Now they just had to break these two so happy it was sickening people apart so that they could get down to the job at hand, finding Buffy.

Lorne looked at the two and he didn’t even need chords to hear their happy souls. They radiated joy, but deep down he could see their worries over the person that both of them loved more than anything. The Slayer. He would bet an Oscar that she was in trouble, he had seen it in her of course, but he had also seen a lot of emptiness in the girl too. They were going to have to find her and quick before there was no turning back.

Dawn couldn’t believe that Spike was actually alive and here with her right now. She had dreamt of this moment night after night, aching for what she had always believed would never happen, at least not in this lifetime. If they could just find Buffy they could be a real family or at least as any supernatural family could get. The question occurred to her, what would happen if they didn’t find Buffy.

“Spike what happens if we don’t find Buffy, or if something’s happened to her.” Getting off his lap she picked up the diary where Spike had tossed it when he had brought her in.

“We’ll find her Nibblet.” Spike glanced at the picture that Dawn was holding. It was the drawing he had done of Angel the night he had seen Buffy and Angel kissing in the cemetary. Looks like both girls had gotten away from Sunnydale with a piece of him intact.

“Where did you find this.” Spike took the picture away from her smirking at the memory of Buffy’s face when she had seen it.

“It was in this book, I think it’s Buffy’s journal. She’s always kept one. She must have started this right after we left Sunnydale. I didn’t want to read it unless I had to, she would be so pissed if I pried.” Dawn handed him the book, knowing that Spike would not have the same hang ups and her and would freely open it and read it.

“Might have a clue as to where she’s at. Never know.” Spike began thumbing through the entries when the rest of the gang decided to make their presences known. He pocketed the journal in his coat making swift plans to look at it when they were on the hunt.

“We’re ready to roll if you to are finished catching up.” Angel swooped into the room his coat billowing around him in his typical trademark fashion.

“We’re ready, have the psychics heard or seen anything about Buffy?” Dawn was starting to get fidgety again. She just wanted her sister back with her where she belonged.

“We have a little problem in that department.” Wesley spoke up feeling good to be back and doing something more constructive that just doing research. He had forgotten how good it felt to be on an actual case again.

“And just what kind of problem would that be mate.” If Angel’s team caused one hair on his Slayer’s head to be touched he would personally eviscerate every one of them, except for Fred, he actually liked her.

“The psychics aren’t picking up any kind of waves from Buffy.” Wesley wasn’t sure what to say next and he just stood there empty handed.”

“Oh, god, that means she dead doesn’t it.” Dawn collapsed on the bed in silent tears running down her cheeks. All of a sudden she felt very hollow and numb inside.j

“What do you mean they’re not picking up any waves.” Spike lunged for Wesley and in the blink of an eye had him up against the wall one hand around the man’s throat squeezing just enough to hurt but not to kill.

“You’d better talk watcher and you’d better talk quickly.” Spike’s voice was colder than ice if that was possible and his eyes were black with rage. He didn’t even feel Angel and Gunn trying to forcibly pull his hand away. It was Fred’s hand on his arm that made him loosen his grip and gently lower Wesley back down to the ground.

“It doesn’t necessarily mean that Buffy was dead. They would know if she was dead and had traveled on. They are getting a very shaky bodily D.N.A reading, but nothing else. Basically they are finding a shell and nothing else, no essence, no soul. It’s like she’s there, but then she’s not.” Fred was trying to get this to make sense for them, but to her at least she seemed to be tripping over her tongue.

“It could mean that she is possessed by some entity. Maybe something latched on when you guys were down in the Hellmouth and being this close to where it was it making it come out and play. We don’t know much yet, but they are still working on it and as soon as they have a definate location for her we’ll be there.” Wesley was rubbing his neck gingerly and trying hard not to hold a grudge against Spike, he would have probably done the same in his shoes if someone had told him that something was wrong with Fred. One of these days he was going to have to tell the girl that he loved her, they just never seemed to find the right time, and they were almost never alone. Looking at her Wesley didn’t know what he would do if something ever happened to her, it was something he just didn’t want to think about.

“Has anyone reported yet as to where she was last seen?” Dawn was anxious to find her. There was something off about this whole mess she just couldn’t put her finger on it just yet.

“We have people out searching, asking anyone who may have seen or heard of anyone fitting Buffy’s description. If you know of any of her favorite places in L.A. Dawn you could be a big help. Once we find out where she might have gone then we can all split up and look in those places for her.” Weslay had to put his thoughts in the mix

“That would be better than everyone going on a block by block search and would take a lot less time.” Gunn was just wanting this whole night done and over with.

“While you guys do you’re planning thing, I’m going to have a chat here with Goldilocks.” Before Dawn or Spike could protest Lorne had Spike by the arm and was ushering him out the door and to an abandoned room down the hall, hoping that whatever vibes the newly formed vamp was giving off would help them find his lost love. And man where things rolling off of him in waves. It was almost like being back in a room with the Slayer. Spike was different while Buffy kept all of her emotions, or at least tried to bottled up inside, he let everything hang on his sleeve as if it was meant to be there.

“You know we really don’t have time for this. And I really don’t like having you read my brain, it is a little intrusive.” Spike was antsy and his movements spoke volumes and not just to Lorne’s empathic abilities. Spike was literally bouncing off the walls and dancing on the balls of his feet.

Lorne who really didn’t want his throat in any jeopardy stayed within a few feet of the energy loaded vamp.
“Down Sparky. You know I can’t read you without you singing which means yoiu are going to be a willing participant which you are going to be or I’ll sing every show tune I know, which could take days until you crack.” Lorne to stress his point started doing vocal warm ups sounding like a gargling chicken.

“All right you win, but just a bar. I want to find Buffy.”

“I Did It My Way.” Belting out the line in true Sid Vicious style. Spike figured if he didn’t have enough from that then he wasn’t going to waste the time to do anymore. Opening his eyes just in time to see Lorne slump to the floor holding his head in his hands. The green guy was shaking like a leaf.

“I need some help in here.” Spike shouted loud enough to wake the dead, or at least to have Angel haul his ass down the hall.

Everyone came running to the room and saw Spike checking Lorne who was looking quite pale despite his natural coloring.

“What happened?” Fred bent to check Lorne’s pulse feeling it strong but erratic. He was conscious but barely.

“I sang one line and he went down. What the bloody hell is going on.” Spike was back to bouncing off the walls pacing around the room like a caged jungle cat.

“It’s bad.” Lorne croaked out and stood with the help of Angel and Wesley. He was still shaking quite a bit and had the mother of all headaches but right now none of that could be helped.

“What’s bad, how could you get bad out of one bleedin’ line.” At that moment Spike would have given anything for a cigarette or a bottle of scotch.

“Buffy’s in deep trouble guys. If it wouldn’t have been Spike’s connection to her, when would never find her.” Standing now on his own without help he walked into the bathroom grabbing a glass of water and taking a couple aspirin for the headache. Walking back out he tried to appear more calm than what he looked and felt.

“Do you know where she is Lorne?” Angel was starting to get antsy now. It was not the time to be going through one of Lorne’s riddles.

“She’s in Sunnydale, or what was once Sunnydale.”

“Well then let’s go. It will take us what two hours at the most to get there. We can still get there and back by sunup.” Spike was almost ready to stride out the door when Lorne grabbed his coat with what strength he could muster.

“You won’t make it in time. She doesn’t have any time left.” Lorne tried hard not to let the tears slide down his face but they did anyway.

“What do you mean she doesn’t have any time left.” The same question seemed to come from different people throughout the room..

Lorne just stood there not sure what to tell the people that loved this woman so fiercely.

“In about an hour give or take a few minutes she’s going to throw herself in the big chasm that took everything away from her.” Lorne said the words trying to make every word sink themselves even into his brain and he had seen the whole thing in vivid technicolor.

“What chasm? There’s nothing left of Sunnydale.” Fred was a little confused and didn’t mind for once showing that on some things her mind just didn’t ufnction on automatic like everyone thought it did.

“She’s going to throw herself in. Oh God no.” It was all Dawn could do to utter the words. She sat down in the nearest chair holding herself and rocking herself back and forth. The pain much more right now than she could bear.

“Would someone please tell me what the bloody hell is going on and what the fuck is Buffy going to throw herself in. The Hellmouth’s gone I took care of that myself.” Spike screamed at the top of his lungs. It was enough to make everyone shut up. The sound of his voice echoed throughout the hotel making everyone jump.

“There is nothing left of Sunnydale except for a crater size hole in the ground. When the Hellmouth was destroyed it sucked the town in with it. The damn things got to be at least a mile straight down” Angel was dialing on his cell phone trying to get through to Harmony but all he was getting was a busy signal.

“How are we going to get there in time.” Dawn barely got the words out of her throat when Spike was there holding her.

“We’ll save her Nibblet, that’s what we do, we’re the bloomin’ good guys and we always save the day. I don’t care if I have to sprout wings and fly I’ll save her.”

“Sprouting wings won’t be a problem, the chopper will be here in five minutes and we can be in Sunnydale in about twenty.” Angel spoke with such confidence that they were going to save Buffy this time. There would be no bringing her back from the grave they would do this right and no one had to die. If anyone else died on him he would probably walk his sorry assed carcass right out into the morning light.

“There’s something else I have to tell you before you go, you might save her body, but Buffy’s gone at least the person she was anyway.”

“What do you mean she’s gone.” This time it was Dawn’s turn to get violent trying to get to Lorne to physically throttle him.. The only thing that stopped her was Spike’s arm around her waist holding her back.

“You’d better tell us everything you know and have seen, which means you are coming with us whether you want to or not.” Spike didn’t try to veil his threat at what he was liable to do to Lorne if they weren’t able to save Buffy.

Outside the roar of propellar blades could be heard and the group minus Fred and Wesley made their way up to the roof. Once all of them were safely strapped inside Lorne began talking about what he had seen in Buffy when she had sang for him.

“I didn’t know that one person could carry around that much hurt inside without going insane and basically that’s what happened, she shut down, her soul couldn’t fight anymore. She gave up.”

“Why would someone like Buffy just give up, it doesn’t make sense. Everything was going great for her, except for her father dying, everything was starting to look up for her.” Angel looked at Lorne not wanting to believe what was coming out of his mouth.

Dawn knew but she kept silent, she just wanted her sister no matter what kind of shape she was in.

“Yeah and that may be true, but there was something missing. Something none of us wanted to think about or even consider. Something that made her life worth fighting for and gave it meaning.”

Spike was just staring at the window only half listening to the demon’s words, his mind was on all the times that he and Buffy had shared together and his mind seemed to be stuck on the night she got drunk. And tried to kick a demon’s ass only to fall on her own.

“But Dawn’s still alive and so is her friends, even her watcher made it out okay.” Angel was still in perplexity his mind just not wanting to give him the answer that he didn’t want to hear even though his soul knew the truth.

“There was one person who didn’t make it out Angel, think you big dumbass.” Dawn had enough now and was starting to get mad at Angel’s stupidity when it came to Buffy.

“Spike!”

“Yeah, what?”

“Spike didn’t make it out. That’s why Buffy doesn’t want to go on living you big jack ass. Her soul mate died saving all of us. Buffy was never the same after that I knew it, she tried to hide it but I knew.” It all made sense to Dawn now, Buffy had held on to make sure she was okay and now that she was she felt her job was done.

“She held on for you, she loved you, she ached for you every day that you were gone, it’s what has been killing her, living life without you. You’re her soul mate, you and her were meant for each other. I’ve learned that fate plays a huge part in our destinies. It was fate that made you a vampire and fate that brought you to Sunnydale and to Buffy. It was the same fate that gave you the chip so that the two of you could get closer, the same fate that lead Buffy to die the first time and then come back, the same for your soul. Everything has a destiny already laid out, look at me I was just some big ball of energy now I’m human. You’re special William, not just as a vampire but as a person. I see that and so does Buffy. You stopped being the vampire to us a long time ago. Right now Buffy’s trying to take fate into her own hands instead of letting the hands of fate play out. I just pray that we won’t be too late.” Dawn took Spike’s hands in her own and looked at him with all the love she had in her heart for him as her brother.

“Mr. Angel, we’re coming up on Sunnydale now Sir. Is there anyplace specific that you want us to land.” The guys voice cracked, obviously worried about being this near to not one but two vampires.

“Do a perimeter sweep first, I want to make sure we know where she’s at without having to waste time looking for her.” Angel was tense and his stomach churned if he would have been able to vomit, he probably would have, not only for all of the truths that Dawn had spoken, but he just plainly hated helicopters.

“Yes Sir.”

They were more than halfway to the other side when they saw her. She was standing on the edge so close in fact that they landed fifty yards away so that the air blast from the propellers wouldn’t push her in. Dawn got out first followed by Angel and Spike quietly as to not spook her. Having made plans during landing that Spike would stay back a few yards to see if Angel and Dawn could get through to her.

Spike and Angel looked at each other, it was odd being this close to the former Hellmouth and not feel any type of evil vibrations. Spike had definately closed the thing for good.

The closer the trio got to Buffy the more worried Spike and Angel became, they could see her but other than that there seemed to be no sign of life, almost as if she was a ghost and in a sense that’s what she was an empty shell

Everyone’s mind was on the same thing, how were they going to get through to someone who didn’t seem to be there at all. For Dawn it brought back memories of seeing her sister jump to save her life and it took both Spike and Angel’s hands on her arms to keep her from running to Buffy and physically dragging her back. They stood and watched wondering what to do and ate up precious seconds in which Buffy got closer and closer to oblivion.





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