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Chapter 18- Bottomless Pits of Despair

Buffy stared below her at the black nothingness, it looked so dark and comforting. Inside there she could finally rest, she could be at peace. There was a place where she didn’t have to fight anymore, she didn’t have to be the slayer, a friend, a daughter, a sister. Down there she could just be Buffy, and Spike would be there and they could be together.

They would lie wrapped in each other forever. She would replay every moment that they had spent together in her mind and when it came to their last moment together she would jump, flying through the air like his ashes.

She would fly forever with Spike.

Buffy’s mind started its journey through her memories making her remember little things that she had forgotten. Things like the way his eyes twinkled when he was feeling rather murderous and the way his lips sneered evil like.

Little things there seemed so many and they seemed to come at her so fast that she felt like she was watching an old film projector type movie.

Warm desert air threw her hair in her face and eyes but she didn’t bother to brush it away, just let it slap it in the face a mess of tangles.

Soon she would be in paradise. As long as she was with him, no matter where it was to her it would be paradise, even if it would happen to be the very bottomless pit of hell itself. If Buffy was with Spike nothing else mattered.

Buffy could almost feel him holding out his hand to her, ready for her descent to the other side. Having been there once before she was ready. All she had to do was take the first step and he would be there to catch her. He would always be there waiting for her. Shuffling forward she got another inch closer to the edge.

Looking down Buffy could almost see him ready with his arms wide open. Spike was smiling that smile of his that she loved, full of mischieviousness and love. He eyes were twinkling at her and his head seemed to be shaking yes at her, that she could do this, he would be with her every step of the way.

All she had to do was just get a little farther, then she would be sailing into the night with him, her lover, her soul mate, the one she wanted to spend forever with.

Just a little closer Buffy the image seemed to be saying to her. That’s it, that’s a girl. You can do this. Just a few more inches and we’ll be together luv, just you and me forever.

Buffy heard his voice in her head. It was the voice he used when they made love. Full of desire and warmth not to mention the love that he held for her in his heart.

She wanted to remember a few more things, then she would not have the need for memories anymore when she would be living out her dreams.





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