Hi My name is 'Max Fing' just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage... I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via email@example.com Don't give up just yet, the different between 'Ordinary' & 'Extra-Ordinary' is the 'Extra' so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.
After being in relationship with my boyfriend for six years,he broke up with me,I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem. Contact him now for your relationship or marriage problems via this email firstname.lastname@example.org
This was a good follow up to the first story, I , enjoyed it but the grammer was wrong alot and I found myself correcting it in my head. This kind of takes away from reading it.
Author's Response: Sorry you feel that way!
I have to agree with ScarlettDuck, you need a beta. There's a huge difference in writing in a "voice" or style and just plain bad grammar and bad spelling.
To be fair I wrote this story when I was 19 (parts of it over 5 years ago) and I am constantly trying to better my writing so I think the tone of your response is unfairly judgemental and harsh. I am currently writing a story and am being very ruthless about grammar mistakes partly because of ScarlettDuck’s comments here. I was adverse to them at first yet they were done I now realise in a constructive way and I am learning from them. However I still stand by some of my comments because I am still keeping the dialogue like normal speech rather than correct speech and my style will remain the same, I’ve just bookmarked the common mistakes in the past stories and checked for them.
I think you should consider what you post to writers before you do. Also if you are suggesting that where I defended my style is bad grammar you obviously didn't understand my comment at all. If you actually sat and read what I wrote to ScarlettDuck I agreed when she picked up on my grammar mistakes in the text when they weren't part of artist license, and that was my point not that all my mistakes weren’t mistakes! I said they were part of my style when they were character dialogue or when I was aware of them and had chosen them for flow or mood of the sentence or description.
I don't want to have a beta, and that's my personal choice not only because of the way I feel about my writing, but also because I don't have any friends who write so if I sent it to anyone I know they would have no clue how to beta! But I just wanted to point out that even if that wasn't the case I don't agree with your review because you obviously haven't thought about it as it is worded quite bluntly (which I don’t find appropriate) and without actually understanding the conversation between me and ScarlettDuck who even themselves I think saw my side of it though they still disagreed with me.
To end I just want to reiterate that I am not against having a beta or that part of your review, that might be a helpful suggestion and if you had suggested it constructively I would have taken it on board (even though as I said it isn’t an option at the moment). I just wanted to make it clear that it’s your tone and reasoning I question here rather than the end point you made. It makes me sad that I get all these wonderful good or bad constructive reviews and people like you spoil the atmosphere.
I have to agree with ScarlettDuck, you need a beta. There's a huge difference in writing in a "voice" or style and just plain bad grammar and bad spelling.
Hi My name is 'Bruno Rico' just want to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage... I was married for 7years with 2kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and arguments almost every time... it got worse at a point that she filed for divorce... I tried my best to make her change her mind & stay with me cause i loved her with all my heart and didn't want to loose her but everything just didn't work out... she moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce... I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out... I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice... He did special prayers and used roots and herbs... Within 7 days she called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma she had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and we are expecting our third child. I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news... Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there need's it... You can email him via email@example.com Don't give up just yet, the different between 'Ordinary' & 'Extra-Ordinary' is the 'Extra' so make extra effort to save your marriage/relationship if it's truly worth it.
Author's Response: I not only want to file this as 'Spam' I also take personal offence to it as a Wiccan! Love Spells should NEVER be cast in this way without one person's knowledge or to influence their decisions. They should only be cast to improve communication, to bring out the love ALREADY there or to generally send out good vibes. They should never in my opinion be cast by ANYONE who does not already personally know the couple or is part of the couple and therefore does not know the wishes and feelings of BOTH parties, because it against mine and all Wiccan's views to change or influence the will of others. This is HARMFUL and although if this is all true and saved your marriage (which I highly doubt - doubt you are even a real person) the outcome does not justify the means. I not only disagree with you getting in touch with this person, but THEIR own abuse of magick. This is a dangerous thing and I would appreciate you never reviewing my stories with this kind of spam EVER again or I will report you to Pari.
I wish he hadn't done the cliche multiple girls on tour, that felt like a backwards slide at the wrong point to me. It was also a little confusing as it said a couple at most and then talked as if there had been multiple - 'she was like all the other girls', 'usually because the guys would egg him on to do it' (huge urrrgh there btw) 'they were nice girls', 'they all came to his bed knowing they wouldn’t see him again', 'he knew most of them came just to say they’d shagged a guy in a band', 'at first he'd longed for one of them to be more meaningful... sometimes it came close', 'he'd tried to feel something with these girls', 'this would be the last girl' - he sounds like a womanising slut, not someone sleeping with a couple of people and I expected a bit more from him than this extreme level of tack at this point after he didn't go there with harmony, just a couple would have worked better imo. Oh well.
That's a fair point, I do see your view and I am sorry. This is probably my cynical side but I just find that when some people try to move on and realise they can't it doesn't happen over night or even after a few fish in the sea, it takes some people A LOT longer to come to their senses about love especially if they have emotional or psychological issues like Spike has. I didn't intentionally make Spike out to be a slut! Sorry! I just wanted to make him pathetic, and that he was stooping to new lows because he was struggling so much to find happiness with anyone who wasn't Buffy, but in his heart felt Buffy would reject him and so he had no choice but to carry on trying. He is meant to be in a downwards spiral until obviously this moment where he realises he would rather be lonely that carry on with what he is doing. In that scene you aren't meant to like what he is doing because in that moment he is also there, realising the bad FINALLY.
However I disagree the Harmony thing can be used to confuse things, the encounter with Harmony is completely different., but perhaps that is me not making it clear so I'll explain what I was going for. My intention in that Chapter was to show Spike in a moment of emotional breakdown because he WANTS to move on and can't do this physically, on tour he finally makes the step to move on physically and it is this that makes him realise that that is in fact not what he wants because his heart and mind still want Buffy. In a way the Harmony thing was trying to get Buffy out of his system, and the girls on tour was a confused state where he didn't know whether he wanted to meet a girl and settle down or play at being a normal healthy guy not wanting commitment and enjoying casual sex, neither state entered his head during the Harmony thing.
Also sorry for the guys egging him on, don't know exactly why you didn't like this bit! I just thought that was typical lad behaviour when a mate breaks up with someone, but sorry if it made anyone cringe.
I'm not taking the piss, and not trying to be a pain, just trying to help. I guess the "she was stood there" thing must be dialectical, because I have read thousands of books and have spoken to many people from hundreds of different parts of the English-speaking world and I have NEVER encountered that syntax before. Apologies. When I first encountered that syntax, I honestly had trouble interpreting it, and as I stumbled over it, it wrecked the rhythm of your writing, and I thought if I had that trouble, then other readers might, and I figured you might want to make your story easier for the average reader to read and comprehend. Apologies if this was not the case -- I honestly was not trying to aggravate you! And I just now encountered the fact that you'd responded to most of my reviews, so I wasn't continuing to pick to be a pain. Thought you were interested, but I will stop. Feel free to delete anything you don't like. Again, was only trying to help.
Author's Response: I just want to apologise for some of my responses, although I stand by the points I made I want to apologise for any that were overly defensive. I now understand you were trying to help and all your reviews will influence my future writing for the better! Rae x
I get that you write how you feel and how it flows, and that's the way it should be... doesn't mean even the best authors forego the use of a good editor to get the nitpicky stuff right! It's how stuff gets ready to be published professionally. Totally your call as these stories are your babies, I get that. But just because you think something is your style doesn't mean it's not just poor grammar, IMHO. Cheers -- I do love your stories, you have a lot of talent and I appreciate all the work!
Author's Response: Its just I think everyone else who reads it sees it as style, as I've never had it pointed out before as a problem. Thats the only reason I labelled it as your issue, because everyone else doesn't feel it gets in the way, and I personally feel they make it better, so its not something I'm ever going to change. And its not necessarily because they are my babies, because if I thought it would sound better your way and read better for the average reader I would honestly change it, however I think it would just read better for you alone, or for a minority of people with your opinion. Thank you for the reviews, I do appreciate the time and effort you've took to read and comment. But at the end of the day if I purposely ignore it it is my style, and I don't think it needs to be edited for publishing if I ever was so lucky, because look at fifty shades of grey! That book is bad on so many levels and obviously never got an editor and its been read by everyone across the world! My best to you and thank you for reading!
Such a good story! I could find some picky issues with the past few chapters, but please understand I think you're a fantastic writer. Your plot and characters and development are really excellent.
Totally understand about the migraine and aura, they suck.... a reminder to take care of yourself and that you need time to heal and rest occasionally.
Best to you!
Author's Response: I think I do do too much occasionally, when I first got them I kept a diary to look for a common denominator and the only thing was stress or stressful events in the days before I get one. Sometimes you can't help that though, I wish you didn't understand because I really feel for anyone who also suffers! The best to you too!
Good chapter. I get what you said about Dawn, about Buffy needing to figure out what she could accept on her ow, and I agree with that. I like the idea that Dawn might have called Spike to start to make amends with him... so that when he came back, Dawn/Spike would have been starting to heal already, too.
Good! One foot in front of the other!
Ugh.. so sad. Tears on my cheeks.
Oh, the angst!
Yes! Want to hit them hard! Oh, feelings, so much easier to run away from them! -sigh-
Quibble: I think the "laid" here needs to be "lay."
Oh, sucks for them all. Gotta get back to love, people...
Quibbles: a "laid" that should be a "laying" and I think there might have been some punctuation issues.
Oh, bother... and things had been on a good arc. Well, maybe this sets up the catharsis they all need.
Quibbles: A few punctuation errors, and a "laid" that should be "lay" (the past tense of lie), and a "scrapping" that should be "scraping."
Awesome! Good for Buffy, good for Spike.
Quibbles: A few issues in this chap, too, including, " She laid her head back" should be "lay." The lay/lie difference and conjugation is SUPER hard, I have problems myself doing it on my own. I almost always look them up to make sure!
Author's Response: Ignore all the lay/laid...again I ignore what "should be" and always write what flows better. Sorry if this bothers you, but I won't reply to the rest, because you're repeating the same issue and its not an issue to me, but a choice! Trust me I look them up, but then I ignore them!
Really good chap.
Several fairly minor boo-boos.
Rough, but well-written scene... they all need some therapy!
"…Buffy forgot all about why her and Spike had come here in the first place." Should be "…why she and Spike…"
"… when she wasn’t even passed this stage yet?" Should be "past"
Author's Response: I except the passed one, although confused about it. However again the she/her thing is on purpose (see other comments).
Such a good exploration of grief and how messy and personal and ugly it can be. But it's so important!
"She felt their judging eyes on her and she couldn’t bare it." Should be "bear."
Author's Response: Got me!
Be strong, Buffy!