OK. I'm confused. While Spike was trying to decide to leave his wife to marry some psycho to keep his child from being abused, didn't he include Buffy in on any of the decision-making? Spike must have met with a lawyer to learn about fighting for custody - didn't he take Buffy with him? Didn't Spike discuss all of the ramifications about not being with Dru and what that would do to Nigel or anything with Buffy? It sounds like he just said to Buffy, "Here's what I've decided, deal with it." If that's true, he did not take his marriage to Buffy seriously and does not deserve to have her back. Probably didn't really love her, then. He was being selfish and not at all a husband. Not sure that would make him a good father either. Probably will not continue reading until you're finished with story and then read the chapters backwards. Probably the only way I can handle the angst without cracking. LOL!

Author's Response: If life decisions were always so easy, why is there such conflict in our lives. When your back is against the wall you come out fighting with the only way you know how......I hope you come to see Spike is redeemable, and just maybe his only thought was the safty of his son, even at the cost of what he wanted most in the world.....please have faith.....

I'm going to continue to read this story but it will be actually because I want to see Spike punished. Of course, he reacted rashly and I can see a little about what his reasoning was. But how can Buffy take back Spike after he has been living and sleeping with Dru while she struggles with her pregnancy? Plus, it took months for Spike to actually even give a damn about what he did to Buffy. I can see a friendly resolution with Spike, but I can't see how Buffy could ever take him back. I'm actually looking forward to Spike being miserable and punished severely. He might make a good father, but he is a horrible husband.

Author's Response: Sometimes you do have to choose.....and if you had to choose what would you do.....and we all have our ways of coping with decsions that ripe out our hearts.....Spike's is denial, but then light might be shed later in other chapters......could be what Buffy's journey is all about....hmmmmmm.

awww!!!

Author's Response: LOL Thanks....I felt that as I read it.....

Aww! What a sweet chapter, even though you're sertisoulsy dragging it out before Spike gets to the hospital, lol! Can't wait for mroe, so please update soon!

Author's Response: LOL blame Buffy....she won't dream any faster damit....LOL!

Goddess this is a awesome story! I don't know how i missed so many chapters but i must say I love it

Author's Response: Thank you very much....and hope you enjoy the rest of the story.....I promise it will be worth it....well at least for me.

I really like hank in this story- and I agree that Spike is a good father. But he's an unbelievably lousy husband, and frankly, I won't be sorry if Buffy doesn't take him back.

Author's Response: Oh, it's okay to hate Spike right now, but I'm thinking no one really hates him more then he hates himself...but I guess we will find out more....I hope you keep the faith and stick with it.....

Author's Response: Oh and to answer you other reveiw how can I write about such a loser....because my muse tells me too, and I think that some people deserve to be forgiven.....let's see if Spike proves himself to be in that group of people. I mean there's more women that have forgiven their boyfriends, husbands and such for much worse......