Reviews For Forbidden Fruit
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Reviewer: anon Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/13/2005 - 01:12 pm Title: Forbidden

I would agree with people and say that you definitely need a beta if you care about real writing, but then, don't you have one? A beta is there for grammar and spelling errors - when they make suggestions for that, you should take them. If a beta offers extra advice on the story, that's just an added bonus, and should often times be credited. You should probably slow down everything, make transitions for your storyline, because it could actually be decent if you stopped and spent more time on it. Buffy can't be jumping around only doing actions every new line. You need transitions and thought before you submit, and definitely less errors. It also seems you are asking for sympathy reviews when you leave AN's saying that you did not do a good job on the ch - if it isn't for sympathy, then you willingly submit something that you know hasn't been done with your greatest effort. Despite what you may think, this isn't a flame. I hope you take some of our suggestions, and maybe your work will improve because of it.

Reviewer: Fire_starter89 Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/06/2005 - 08:41 am Title: Forbidden

It's always best to read over your work after you post it, many spelling mistakes can be easily picked up on that way. You can probably find a beta on any fanfic site, if you're still having a lot of trouble other writers will usually put the name of their beta on their work. You should focus more on writing a story and less on trying to write a cheap porn video. You should stick to one tense, probably past tense for you until you get a little more experienced. Smut fics and AU's are harder to write as well, you should practice with some easier stories and wait until you are a more competent writer before trying these sorts of projects.

Reviewer: Kitdane Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/01/2005 - 05:38 pm Title: Forbidden

You did a good job. Yes there were spelling errors but not enough to make it hard to understand. You should continue the story.

Reviewer: Kimber Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 06/01/2005 - 05:46 am Title: Forbidden

Oh, dear girl......you can't stop there......unless he just really like the fact he was doing sisters and one was jailbait....LOL

Reviewer: BuffyandSpikeForever Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/01/2005 - 04:49 am Title: Forbidden

just wanted to let you know that you did a fantastic job with this story

Reviewer: dreamgirl4eva Signed [Report This]
Date: 06/01/2005 - 04:44 am Title: Forbidden

for a first time it wasn't bad...were some missp. but other than that it was pretty good....in fact ive read much worse!

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