Date: 12/03/2012 - 09:31 am Title: Drag
K, great chapter, btw.
Couple things to fix:
"Buffy smiled relieved someone else was going to sort her out;"
Should be "Buffy smiled, relieved..."
And then, I notice that any time you have a quoted sentence that ends "he said" or "she asked" or whatever, that you end the quoted sentence with a period before the end quote mark, when in that case the quoted sentence should end with a comma before the end quote mark, and then the "he said."
For example:
“Well you’re the one who came to a club,{there should be a space after this comma}underage,{space}got too drunk and couldn’t look after her friend,{space}and had no idea what to do when said friend got rat-arsed.{should be comma, not period}” he threw back at her.
“She’s fine now.{,}” Buffy said,narrowing her eyes at him as if to say ‘{this single quote mark should be a regular ", even though it's a thought}back off,{space}it wasn’t my fault.’{"}
“Yeah.{,}” said Faith from behind them on the sofa. She was leant {leaning} forwards {forward} holding her head.
Author's Response: Yeah I do this on purpose. If you read my other fics (Supernatural ones) on Fanfic, you'll see I don't always do this. It depends on the mood of the piece, its all about how it reads to me as a piece of art. So thats style. That won't change. I do appreciate you going to all this trouble, but unfortunetly I just don't think you understand my writing, there is a disconnect!
Date: 08/08/2009 - 05:21 pm Title: Drag
Spike being a bartender at the club really put a monkey wrench in Buffy's fun, though it was obviously beyond time to get her drunk friend home. I enjoyed the weirdness of the attraction simmering under Buffy's skin. She's going to have a lot to contend with in the weeks to come. Having a free guest room in New York was pretty odd for a teenager, but you spun a believable tale.
Date: 07/02/2009 - 02:55 am Title: Drag
Love that song. And this story so far. To quote Placebo- "I just gotta get off my chest, That I think you're divine"
Author's Response: Thankyou so much! =D
Date: 03/30/2009 - 09:16 pm Title: Drag
Great chapter, poor Faith lol she's such a great character. Liking the growing tension between Buffy and Spike as they figure out their relationship
Date: 03/24/2009 - 08:01 pm Title: Drag
Ooh! I just knowt hat you're going to take your readers on a long ride. I like how you haven't made Buffy "in-love" with Spike when they were younger. It'll make the discovery of figuring things out more confusing and worthwhile. I am enjoying the start of this story and am with you to the end, no matter when the update!
Date: 03/23/2009 - 10:37 pm Title: Drag
Well I hope it will be a happy end, the one you'll choose :)
Having S pike there put definitely an end to the fun. ;)
They have to get 'to know' each other again - they lived apart a long time. Could be interesting - or get awkward.
Date: 03/23/2009 - 10:07 pm Title: Drag
Well, at least Buffy wasn't the only one who felt uncomfortable. Can't wait for the next update!
Date: 03/23/2009 - 10:05 am Title: Drag
brilliant beginning for the fic! can't wait to see more
Date: 03/23/2009 - 04:30 am Title: Drag
hmmm they will have to come up with something new then won't they
Author's Response: Indeed they will...Hopefully the solution I come up with will keep everybody interested...