Date: 05/02/2005 - 11:55 am Title: The Hiring
I'm loving the way this story is going so far!
Date: 01/11/2005 - 09:45 pm Title: The Hiring
Yes, please keep going with this story!
Date: 01/11/2005 - 05:11 am Title: The Hiring
Hell YEA keep going! This sounds like a great story in the making! I'm assuming there's going to be a lot of tension between Buffy and Spike, hmm? Don't know if you have anything planned out, but some suggestions: 1) (This one, I'm sure you've thought of already, but on the offchance you haven't) Buffy has the 2-bedroom appartment above her bar and Spike is 'currently' looking for a place outside of his mom and stepdad's. Spike could move in with her, causing an increase in sexual tention and relations. 2) Go into more detail. You say Buffy went to LA to look at the stereo system. Did anything happen to her while she was there (Angel/other possible guys for her to get with) By expanding on the details in the story, you'll get more dynamic (and fun) subplots. 3) Don't forget to work on the other characters, too! So many authors focus so much on the Buffy/Spike realtionship, they forget about Willow, Giles, Xander, Joyce, Anya, etc., and the story in turn loses out on it. I really hope you continue on this story. Have a great time with it!
Date: 01/10/2005 - 11:08 pm Title: The Hiring
also, re-read before you post to catch any mistakes, like the 'let me have a' and 'i take a' when joyce and anya are ordering
Author's Response: Thanks for finding that. I thought I filled it in but I was wrong. I put in the drinks now.
Date: 01/10/2005 - 11:05 pm Title: The Hiring
what im wondering is where buffy would get all the money to buy the space, renovate it, stock it, hire staff etc...? also, just a helpful hint... try to 'loosen up' your dialogue- some of it reads very stiff and unnatural... ie: instead of 'but it is', try 'but it's'... you know- abbreviate and stuff :)
Author's Response: Thanks for telling me to abbreviate. I am used to writing essays and not stories. Plus I already thought about where she got the money I just didn't want to give away a lot of info in the beginning.
Date: 01/10/2005 - 10:56 pm Title: The Hiring
Of course keep going:) I really love how you started this, and I think there are a lot of potential avenues you could pursue with this fic!
Date: 01/10/2005 - 10:28 pm Title: The Hiring
Gotta love Anya and her bluntness lol. I'm intrigued, especiallyfor when Spike and Buffy meet! I can't wait to read more! Please do continue :)
Date: 01/10/2005 - 10:14 pm Title: The Hiring
itz great...i like the idea....keep going!!!
Date: 01/10/2005 - 09:59 pm Title: The Hiring
yes keep going. Its a good idea for a story.
Date: 01/10/2005 - 07:56 pm Title: The Hiring
yes and have him date anya first not buffy.
Date: 01/10/2005 - 07:48 pm Title: The Hiring
Yes, you should keeo going. This story hasn't gone anywhere yet but I think once you get some more chapters in and get a good storyline in there this story will be awsome, LOL
Date: 01/10/2005 - 07:34 pm Title: The Hiring
Yeah, I definetly think you should keep going. I noticed that you left the drinks blank, it might be good for start to think about the names if there is much bartending. It makes it seem more realistic. But anyway... I really liked the start and hope you'll be continueing this.
Date: 01/10/2005 - 07:31 pm Title: The Hiring
it sounds like this will be a good one...its interesting so far! i say keep going. please please? haha...well i hope you do.
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