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Chapter 14

Buffy smiled as the audience exploded in applause. She still wasn’t used to it as she gave a bow and walked off the stage. She saw Scott smiling at her and walked over to him. “Hey, you were really great up there.” He told her. “I can’t believe you’re actually doing this. It’s what you’ve always wanted.” Buffy nodded.

“Yeah, still doesn’t seem real.” Scott nodded also and then looked shy.

“You wanna go outside? I was hoping we could talk.” Buffy wasn’t sure as she looked up on the stage to see that Spike was putting his guitar away and laughing at something Xander said. She turned back to Scott.

“Okay, but only for a little bit. I have to get home soon.” Scott smiled as they walked out of the Bronze. They were both quiet when they got outside and Scott decided to break the silence.

“You really look great, Buffy. I’m glad everything worked out well for you.” He told her.

“Things were hard at first, but they’re getting better.” Buffy didn’t feel comfortable being alone with him, but she wouldn’t let him know that. He used to be her best friend, the person she could always turn to. Now, she didn’t know who he was anymore. She did know that a part of her would always care for him, but it didn't seem to matter. He hurt her and she found it hard to forgive him for that. She would let him see his son, but that was all she could offer. She just hoped it would be enough. Buffy was brought out of her reverie by Scott suddenly touching her cheek. Before she knew it, he was moving closer and then pressed his lips to hers. Buffy realized what was happening and pulled away suddenly. “No, we can’t do this. You can’t just expect that things are going to get better with us, Scott. I’m with Spike now. You’re only Tommy’s father and that’s it.” Scott wouldn’t take no for an answer and she noticed that he now had tears in his eyes.

“I can’t just let you go, Buffy. I made a huge mistake. I know I hurt you, but I never should have left. We have a son together. I want to be in both of your lives; I want us to be a family.” Buffy felt tears of her own in her eyes at what he was saying.

“It’s too late, we can’t have that.” Scott wouldn’t give up as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

“Please, Buffy. I love you so much. I never stopped; you’re all I can think about. I know you should hate me for what I did, but I’m so sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” He said as he hugged her and cried even harder. Buffy cried with him and didn’t know what to do. “I need you, baby. I’m lost without you.” Buffy just wrapped her arms around him as he cried. She then looked to see Spike coming out of the Bronze and staring right at them. She pulled Scott away from her and looked into his bloodshot eyes.

“I’m sorry, Scott. I’m sorry that things got so messed up with us, but I don’t hate you. You gave me a beautiful little boy. I could never hate you for that, but I’m not in love with you either. I love Spike and I need him right now. I hope that you can understand and you would still come by to see Thomas. I know you’ll find someone else, but it can’t be me.” Scott nodded and pulled away from her. He felt embarrassed for breaking down in front of her.

“You have no idea how sorry I am for what happened.” Buffy nodded and gave him a small smile.

“I have some idea.” Scott wiped his eyes.

“I should go now, maybe I’ll stop by tomorrow.” Buffy nodded again.

“That would be fine. I hope that you’ll be okay. We could try to be friends again.” Scott knew that they would never be as close as they were, but he would take what he could get.

“Yeah, I would like that. I’ll see you then.” He said as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked away. Spike then walked over to Buffy after witnessing most of what happened and held his arms out for her. She walked into his embrace and he wrapped his arms around her. She started to cry again and Spike kissed her hair, whispering soothing words in her ear. They were like that for a while, until Buffy finally calmed down.

“You wanna get out of here?” Buffy looked up at him when he spoke and nodded.

“Yeah, I need to go home. I want to hold my son.” Spike nodded in understanding and took her hand as they both walked to his car.





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