“Oh, this so hits the spot. I don’t remember ever being this hungry...” Buffy bit into her burger, moaning with delight.

Shaking her head, Willow couldn’t help but tease her friend. “Uh, what about last night? When you ate three very large pieces of lasagna?”

The young blonde narrowed her eyes at her friend. “Ha ha, Willow. So I’ve been eating a lot. This is the only time in my life that I’ve pretty much got a ‘get out of jail free’ card when it comes to food.” She looked around the food court and nodded towards one of the venues. “Could have been worse--I could have grabbed one of the combos at that Chinese food place. Betcha there’s a lot more fat and calories in one of those plates than there is in my burger.”

“And fries. And it’s a Big Bacon burger, Buffy--probably Wendy’s fattiest burger.” Her face scrunched as she tried to make out the menu from where they were seated. “Well, aside from the double burger. Uh, or the triple. Ok, maybe you’re right--you could be doing much worse.” Leaning over, conspiratorial grin on her face, she giggled. “Feels good, though, doesn’t it? You eating anything you want while I’m stuck here eating my ‘Spicy chicken hold the mayo’...”

Buffy nodded, but her smile quickly disappeared. “Willow, how am I going to manage? You saw the prices on all the baby stuff--I can’t afford any of it! I mean, even if I get the cheapest stuff out there, it’s still going to be astronomically expensive.” She began to count on her fingers. “Crib, change table, stroller, car seat, high chair... and what about the sheets and stuff for the crib? 150$!! My best sheets didn’t even cost that much!”

Her voice reached a high pitch. “I can see it now--I’ll have to find a nice big cardboard box and have the baby sleep in that, and I’ll line the bottom with some of my old sweaters...”

“Buffy!” Willow couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Didn’t her best friend remember the network of caring people who surrounded her? “What about your mom, or Giles, or even us--your friends? I’m sure that if we all pool in together to help you, you’ll manage just fine.”

It was as if the redhead hadn’t said a word. “Or maybe I’ll just have to pull a Spike and go to the dump. People throw cribs out, right?”

Willow realized that this topic wasn’t going to change. No matter what assurances she laid out, Buffy would either dismiss them or choose to ignore what was being said. At the mention of Spike’s name, the redhead decided to steer the conversation away from expenses.

“Speaking of Spike--what’s up between you two, anyway?” There. That should do it. She’d been trying to broach the subject for a couple of weeks, but never found the courage to bring the vampire up.

Buffy’s head snapped up as if she’d been hit. “Huh? Up? With Spike? Nothing’s up, nothing at all. There is nothing up with Spike. And me. There is nothing but a big... nothing.” She cringed at her denial, which sounded lame even to herself. By the mischievous look on her friend’s face, she knew that nothing but the truth would suffice.

“Come on, Buffy, you’re denying this way too obstinately. You guys have been acting differently for a good while now. First at the bronze, when we came back to find you two chatting it up like long lost friends, then after the hospital. Especially since the hospital--it’s like you guys are like... soulmates or something.” The redhead frowned at her statement. “Except that Spike doesn’t have a soul, although Tara is convinced that there is something special about him...”

Sighing, Buffy got ready to face the inevitable. Taking a long sip of her lemonade, she began to talk. “Ok, Wills--there is something. But before I say anything I want you to promise that you won’t wig out, and that you won’t tell anyone else.”

Willow nodded soberly, although she already knew that she’d be spilling every sordid detail to Tara. But she knew that Buffy had meant Giles, or Xander--and especially Anya.

“It started at the bronze--that night where you invited him to come sit with us. After you guys left to go dancing, we had words. I have to admit, he put me in my place--and rightly so.”

“Oh, Buffy--don’t say that!” The redhead reached across the table and put her hand over Buffy’s.

“But I needed it, Wills. Ever since I’d been ‘chosen’, I was taught that the world was black and white--demons bad, humans good--and even the Riley incident didn’t shake that belief. It took Spike’s brutal honesty to infuse a bit of reality--a bit of grey--in my world. He taunted me with Riley and I fought back, throwing my age-old line of him being evil, blah blah blah. Now that pissed him off. He reminded me of how he’d stuck by Dru, no matter what. Willow--you saw how loony she was. But he stuck by her for over a century, through thick and thin.” She let out a hoarse laugh. “And then there’s Riley, normal human, all-round good guy, who tucks tail and runs at the first sign of a challenge.”

The blonde looked down at her napkin, which she’d torn to shreds. Picking up the pieces and dropping them in her empty french fry container, she sighed. “Spike made me realize that everything is balanced. There’s often some good in evil, and some evil in good. It was a bit of an eye opener, but it was long overdue.”

Patting her friend’s hand, Willow spoke up. “Well, you were hard on Spike, even after he agreed to help you...” She pulled her hand back to finish the few tepid fries that remained in her own container. “But you haven’t gotten to any kissage yet... What about the hospital?”

Buffy smiled and shook her head. Just like old times--God how she’d missed this. “You’re going to be muy disappointed, Willow, because there isn’t any kissage. It just hasn’t happened yet.” Unfortunately, she thought inwardly. Her thoughts turned to the vampire’s soft, full lips and how they’d feel on hers. Flushing, she hid behind her drink.

“Everyone knows that it was Spike who took me to the hospital that night. What no one knows, though, is that he never left my side--not once--the whole time. He was like supporto-man, holding my hand, talking to me--I would never have gotten through it without him, Willow. I know that I’m the Slayer and everyone thinks that I’m the strongest person around, but Spike knew that night that I’m also just a regular young woman who, every now and then, needs someone else to be strong for her.”

The Slayer’s admission sent a pang of guilt through the young witch. “Oh, Buffy, I’m sorry. I mean, we never thought... You’re always the one we look up to...”

Shaking her head, the young blonde put a stop to her friend’s apology. “It’s ok, Wills. I appreciate you guys more than you can imagine. You’ve all been my safety net, ever since I came to Sunnydale. So don’t feel bad, please.”

“Anyway, Spike kept my mind off my problems--he talked to me, and he asked a lot of questions about what was going on. Imagine how weird it must be for him to be standing in an ultrasound room looking at the image of a foetus--last time he had anything to do with doctors was over a hundred years ago. He was so worried, so good to me that I think everyone thought that he was the baby’s father. After the doctors gave me a clean bill of health he took me home and simply held me while I slept. He didn’t ask for anything more than that--he seemed just as happy to hold me as I was by being held.”

Ok, Willow thought, so Tara’s reading of Spike wasn’t so far off. He may not have had a soul, but he had something more to him. Choice, for one--he chose to help them instead of hindering them, he chose to be there for Buffy instead of taking advantage of an injured Slayer. Which led to the fact that he seemed to have more control over his demon than any other vampire she’d ever met. Especially more than Angel, since he didn’t have a conscience/soul thrust upon him. So was he a dichotomy--William and the demon, separate in the same vessel, or was he simply ‘Spike’, both entities mixed into one? The redhead sighed. Looks like I’m not getting any sleep tonight.

But, for now, on to better things. “I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but no kissage, not even a little?”

“Well, he did kiss me on the cheek when we were in the ultrasound room...” Buffy blushed at the memory. It was so weird--here she was, pregnant, yet she was blushing at the memory of a chaste kiss.

“Wait--was it a brotherly kiss on the cheek, or more than that?” It had been quite a while since the two girls had talked boys, but they both fell back into it easily.

The blonde’s eyes glazed over. “It was... You know when it’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion, and you don’t want to close your eyes just in case you miss something? Like the look in his eyes, or how sexy it is when he licks his lips just before he kisses you?”

Willow nodded dumbly, knowing full well what she meant. Of course, these days she was substituting ‘he’ with ‘she’, but the feelings were still the same...

“And then your heart starts to beat so fast you think it’s going to burst right out of your chest and your hands get all clammy, and your body shakes in anticipation for just that kiss? Except that his lips don’t go on yours, they just brush past them and settle on your cheek but in some really weird way, that’s almost as good?”

The Slayer sighed again and slumped back in her uncomfortable food court chair. “That’s what it was, Willow. It wasn’t even on the lips but it was still so close. I could feel his breath on my skin, and I could smell cigarette and leather and whatever else that he smells like. And I must be such a sick person to feel like this because of a vampire--again--right?” Please say no, please say no...

Willow needed a moment to catch her breath. This was so beyond any boy talks they’d had when they were sixteen. So much hotter than the ‘I think he likes me--do you think he’ll kiss me?’ that Angel had brought about. “Oh, Buffy, it’s not wrong. So he’s a vampire. You yourself admitted that he’s loyal, he’s obviously head over heels about you, and--not to open any wounds--Riley proved that normal boys don’t necessarily make you happier. Go ahead with it--take a chance. Life is whatever you make of it--you want to hold back, wonder what would or could have been, then that’s your prerogative. But I think it’s more fun to follow your heart, to do what it thinks is right. You’ll be happier, you know...”

Buffy knew that somehow this little speech was no longer only about her and Spike. “You mean like with Tara?”

The witch’s eyes snapped up to her friend’s. She hadn’t told anyone about just how friendly she and Tara were, yet. So how did Buffy know? “How... how do you know about us?”

The Slayer couldn’t help but smile at her friend’s babbling. Obviously she’d worked hard at hiding it because she was afraid of what the others would think. “Don’t worry, Wills. None of the others know. Spike mentioned it one night over cocoa and it made sense to me all of a sudden.” She looked sheepish before continuing. “I have to admit I was a bit wigged at first, but Spike reminded me that we don’t always choose who we fall for. And you’ve been happier these past few weeks than in a long, long time. I just want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Both girls became a little teary at the show of affection; this simple fast food meal having strengthened their friendship like nothing else.

Willow sniffled and began to gather all her garbage on her tray. “Well, if you’re done, why don’t we get going? Maybe we can buy the baby a little outfit or something, you know--to make you feel better.”

They both grabbed their trays and headed out of the food court.

“Maybe I can get a job--nothing too hard, just a way to make a bit of money. I’m sure there’s something out there that I can do until the baby’s born.”

Willow slipped her arm through Buffy’s as they entered Baby Gap. “I know a girl who worked at Sunnydale U last summer grading papers. Mind-numbing, but the hours were good and the pay was ok. I can ask her about it if you want...”

Author’s note: Ok, guys--you’ll notice that the chapters will start to slow down sometime soon. I’ve got the story written and beta’d up to chapter 16, but I’m still working on the rest. My writing has slowed down a bit, what with the Christmas holidays coming up (clean the house for guests--yikes!!) and pre-natal classes that I have twice a week. I’m writing in the spare time I have, but the story is getting harder as the pregnancy progresses (Buffy’s, I mean)--I want to make sure that I don’t just end this with a ‘and everybody lived happily together’. Anyhoo, I thought I’d just give you folks a bit of a warning :)