“Argh! This is so stupid! I haven’t even gained a pound and nothing fits anymore...” Buffy was poring through her closet in search of something decent to wear to a job interview that coming Monday. Willow’s friend had proved to be a valuable source, even going so far as arranging a meeting between her former employer--the head of the Psychology department--and Buffy. But as the day approached--she only had three days to go--her nerves were beginning to get the best of her.

Joyce Summers sat on her daughter’s bed, a paragon of patience. “Honey, it’s not that you haven’t gained any weight, it’s just that what you have is being redistributed to other places. Remember how you mentioned that your rings and bracelets seemed looser? You’re almost nineteen weeks pregnant, Buffy. It’s only natural that your pants don’t fit--your tummy’s beginning to fill out and your hips are getting wider. Just consider yourself lucky that you escaped the Grant curse--it happened to your Grandma, to your aunt Susan and to me: our breasts doubled in size within the first three months.” She added, mumbling to herself, “not that your father minded...”

“Mom! Ugh--I don’t need to know about that between you and dad. That’s just ooky...” The Slayer looked up from the latest pile of clothing. “But you do have a point there, mom. I’m so not looking forward to the Pamela Anderson look.”

The young woman refocused on her search, leaving a trail of discarded shirts and pants. Maybe if she’d adopted the homeboy look, her pants would still fit. She shuddered at the image of herself in four-times too big pants and a cap on sideways. Ugh, maybe not...

The two women jumped at the sound of the kitchen door opening. Their gazes fell on Buffy’s alarm clock at the same time. It read 11:19pm. The same name came out of both their mouths at once: “Spike”.

Stretching her legs, Joyce managed to heave herself off of the bed. “Keep looking, honey. I’ll go start the cocoa.”

With that, Buffy was left to her own devices. A few minutes passed before her patience began to wane. “Ok, clothes. It’s me versus you. I’ve defeated Fyarl demons, Chrysalis demons and really smelly vampires. I’ll find something to wear even if it kills me.” A tingling at the back of her neck informed her that she was no longer alone. “Come in, Spike. I know you’re there.”

Damn that Slayer sense of hers. Chuckling, the vampire found a spot on the bed which was free of any clothing. “You usually hold discourse with your clothes, Slayer, or is this a pregnancy thing?”

“Shut up, bleached wonder. I’m not in a mood to put up with your crap tonight.” The young woman pulled a skirt off its hanger, stared at it for a moment and shut the closet door. Maybe *this* one will fit... Through the door, she heard the vampire’s voice.

“No need to get huffy. Your mum told me about your earth-shattering dilemma, pet.”

The closet door slammed open and a flushed and frustrated Slayer appeared. “Again, Spike--shut up. If you’re only here to bust my ass you might as well go downstairs and keep mom entertained.” Pouting, she threw the skirt over the bleached blonde’s head. “I have a job interview on Monday and I’d like to show up in something other than jogging pants.”

The vampire’s response, “Don’t know, pet--bet you’re right sexy in jogging pants”, earned him a glare. Maybe not the right thing to say just then...

“Seriously, though--what am I going to do? I need to make some money to buy stuff for the baby.” Her arms dropped to her side before she gave up. “This is useless. None of my nice clothes fit anymore and I really can’t afford to buy any new ones.” Looking up to her new friend, she asked in a quiet voice “what am I gonna do, Spike?”

The master vampire couldn’t handle seeing her pout or the crestfallen expression on her face. He spread his arms in invitation. “C’mere, luv.”

Buffy couldn’t help but do what he’d asked. As far as the Slayer’s stressful days went, this one wouldn’t even make it onto the stress-o-meter; but for Buffy-the-girl, it had been one shitty day. She made her way over to the vampire, who took her in his arms and sat her on his lap like a child, cradling her against his solid chest. Any other day, she would have told him to piss off, but for some reason Spike’s arms were a much-needed haven for her at that moment.

“You doing anything tomorrow, luv?”

The young woman pulled away and stared at him, eyes narrowing. Now what was he up to? “No... why?”

The vampire picked her up and set her on her feet before getting up off the bed. “Good. I’ll pick you up at five.” He placed a soft kiss on her brow before walking to the hallway.

Snuh? “Whoa--hold on! Why will you be here at five tomorrow?” What kind of weird plans were going through his mind, and why did they involve her?

Spike let out a sigh. When would she just trust him? “Look, pet. I want to take you to LA to find you some clothes. ‘S nothing more than that.”

Buffy’s eyes grew large. “Shopping in LA? Are you insane? When was the last time you actually paid for clothes out there? I can’t afford to shop there!”

“That’s cause you’re not shopping in the right stores, love.”

“Have you been drinking bad blood or something? There’s no way you’re dragging me to some demon stores, no matter how desp...” The vampire’s hand on her mouth shut out any further sounds from escaping.

Spike managed to speak, although the feel of her warm breath on his palm was driving him to distraction. “You could afford the demon shops even less than the human ones, luv. And that’s not what I’m suggestin’. I’m talking second hand stores. Now, I don’t mean the dingy ones you have out here in Sunnyhell, I’m talkin’ about the ones where the rich folks’ clothes go. Imagine buying Holt Renfrew or Chanel for ten or fifteen dollars...”

Buffy ripped his hand from her mouth. “Really? You’re not teasing me, are you?” She turned to look at her wardrobe--a small infusion of high fashion wouldn’t do it any harm, even if she could only wear it for 5 months. “Ok, Spike. It’s a deal, but only on one condition.”

“What’s that, pet?”

“We have to stop at Gerry’s for some ice cream. I’ve been dying for their moose tracks for ages now...”

***

Ok, so maybe Spike hadn’t been exaggerating after all...

Buffy held up a pair of flared maternity jeans. Who knew that maternity clothes could be this nice? The size was right--she’d read that she should stick to the same size she usually wore--but they didn’t look like they’d fit when she’d be that much bigger.

She stood there eyeing them suspiciously, until another woman walked up to her.

“Not sure if you like them?”

Buffy turned to the woman and showed her the pants. “Actually, I love them. It just seems like they won’t be big enough to last me through my pregnancy.”

The lady took the clothing from the Slayer and showed her an elastic at the waist. “See this elastic? It’s adjustable--you make it as tight as you need at first, and then you give it some slack as your belly grows. You’ll notice a lot of different kind of pants out there--some will have the elastics, like this one, some will have zippers or buttons at the sides and some will just have panels at the front.” Seeing the young woman’s look of confusion, she returned the pants and patted her on the back. “Don’t worry, honey. You’ll get the hang of it.”

“Thanks.” Buffy took the pants and looked at them once again. The elastic did make sense, in some demented sort of way. Returning her attention to the stack of clothing she had in her cart, she tossed the pants onto it. She already had two blouses, three shirts, a couple of skirts and the jeans. Now that she understood the mechanics of maternity pants, she set her sights on acquiring a few more pairs. Hey, they were all dirt cheap and in amazing condition--how could she not help herself to a cartload of clothing?

“Find anything, luv?” Spike’s eyebrow shot up when he saw the amount of clothing that Buffy had pulled off the racks. Holding up the jeans, he muttered “guess so...”

The Slayer turned to the vampire and saw that he was holding an armload of black clothing. “So this is where you get your endless supply of ‘Big Bad’ wardrobe, huh? I figured you just stole them at the mall or something.”

The bleached blonde faked a hurt expression. “Haven’t nicked anything in a good while, pet. Told you I was behavin’. Anyway, at the price I get stuff here it’s damned near stealing. Lot less trouble than avoiding the cameras and security guards, too.”

Buffy smiled, shaking her head. “That’s good to know--hard to believe, but good to know.” She looked around the store, still amazed at the goods it held. “You know, I think I’m gonna take up shopping here after the baby’s born...”

The announcement that came on the overhead speakers, announcing the store’s closing in fifteen minutes, got Buffy moving. “I guess that’s good enough for today. You got everything you wanted?”

“Yeah, I did. I’m just wonderin’ if you’re done--I mean, there are a couple of pieces of clothing still left on the rack...” Spike barely avoided the Slayer’s playful slap before commandeering her shopping cart. “C’mon pet--let’s get you back home before your mom thinks we’ve eloped.”

They didn’t get very far before Buffy began to tug on the vampire’s coat sleeve. “Ooh! Look! Turn down here for a sec--I just want to look at something.” Before he knew what was happening, he saw her staring at the baby furniture.

“Spike--look at this crib. Isn’t it beautiful? I mean, a little Goo-Gone and I could get the stickers off of it. But it’s just as nice as the ones Willow and I were looking at at the mall a few weeks ago, and it’s only $50...” Her hand caressed the crib’s side rail as she walked around it. “Aside from the stickers, it’s almost new--it doesn’t have any bumps or nicks, and” she rattled the bed’s frame “it’s still as solid as the new ones.”

She hadn’t heard any noise from the vampire--no snide comments about how close they’d been to the checkout, so she turned around to see if he’d actually followed her. Her eyes fell upon him as he was inspecting a stroller. Of all the weird things she’d seen in her short lifetime--and man, had she seen some weird shit--the sight of Spike, William the Bloody, poking and prodding a baby stroller topped them all. Coming up quietly behind him, she tapped him on the shoulder. “Wanna go for a ride? Maybe like a test drive?” She snickered at her joke, finding it quite funny, but was surprised by the vampire’s curt snarl.

“Come on--place is almost closing.” He couldn’t put words to how all this made him feel. Up to this moment, Spike had shared everyone’s eagerness in the baby’s coming. But as he looked the stroller over--especially the sun guard--he realized that this whole situation was far beyond anything he could handle. Not because of Buffy and their burgeoning relationship, not because of how much a baby cost--either in emotional or financial costs--but because of everything that he wouldn’t be able to do.

He’d never be able to take the baby out for a mid-day stroll--he’d have to find a way to hide under the blasted sun guard with the baby--never be able to go to the park, or the beach, or do anything that normal fathers did. And the realization of this hit him hard. How could he have been so stupid, so blind, as to ignore this? Vampires didn’t play daddy--they killed kids. Ate them. Not rock them to sleep, or help them with their revision.

He knew it was unfair to take this out on the Slayer--after all, it wasn’t her fault. None of it was, but he couldn’t help but be in a pissy mood afterwards. Better to bottle it in than to create a scene in a store, anyway, no?

Buffy didn’t know what had come over Spike. One minute he was teasing her, whistling as he pushed the cart, the next he was pretty much biting her head off. She went over everything she’d said, but couldn’t find anything that could have offended him. She promised to bring it up later--anywhere but in the store--but for now, she’d let him brood. Only for now, though...

***

They’d been driving for fifteen minutes and still Spike hadn’t said a word. He’d still opened the car door for her--guess manners don’t take a break, no matter what kind of mood he’s in--but not a sound had come out of his mouth. Buffy was at her wit’s end, trying to figure out what had gotten to him. Well, she thought to herself, there’s no better way of knowing what’s going through that thick skull of his than to ask point-blank...

“Can you pull over, please?”

The Slayer’s voice surprised him for a moment. The silence in the car had almost fooled him into thinking that he was alone. “What?”

“Pull. Over.” Maybe if she used small one-word sentences he’d understand better.

Spike did as she asked, but kept his gaze ahead of them. He had a funny feeling that she was going to want to have ‘a talk’.

“Thanks. Now spill.” Before he had time to play stupid, she continued. “And don’t ‘what do you mean, spill?’ me. Something’s been bugging you ever since we were in the store and you need to get it off your chest.” When he turned to look at her, clear blue eyes resigned to give in, she couldn’t help but take his hand in hers. “You know you can tell me anything, Spike. Please don’t keep this to yourself--good friends are there to listen, you know.”

The vampire sighed heavily. “Buffy, it’s nothing against you, it’s just that... When we were at the store, lookin’ at all the baby stuff, it just dawned on me how stupid this all is. And I don’t mean that you having a baby is stupid, I mean my actually getting all worked up about it is.” When he was sure she wasn’t going to interrupt, although her body language screamed that she was just chomping a the bit to do just that, he continued his explanation. “Vampires aren’t meant to take care of babies. If we were, we’d be able to go out into the sun--take the bits to the zoo or whatever activities folks do with their kids, but we’re not. I can’t do what all your Scoobies can. I can’t go out for an afternoon stroll, I can’t sit out in the backyard and look for four-leafed clovers, I can’t...”

As touched as she was by his admission, Buffy was tired of hearing ‘I can’t’s. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t... Spike, why don’t you concentrate on what you can do? You can take the baby out trick or treating, you’ll be able to go to school plays--they’re almost always held at nighttime, you can play with it inside, watch stupid tv shows with it. There’s so much that you can do--you just have to use your imagination a little.” She took his hand and placed it on the slight swell of her belly. “This baby will have so many people in its life. And every single one of them will have a different role to play. So yours won’t take place outside during the day--it doesn’t mean that you won’t be loved as much as the others.” It doesn’t mean that you aren’t loved as much... But Buffy wasn’t ready to reveal that much information so soon.

Spike didn’t know what to say. A million thoughts raced through his mind, but all were insufficient as a response to the Slayer’s calming words. Instead, he pulled her into a tight hug, pressing her warm body against his. “Thanks so much, pet.”

The quiet that followed during the remainder of the ride home was a comfortable one, where both blondes were lost deep in thought, connected only by their entwined fingers.