Chapter 3

Huh?

I thought Whistler said that only Angel’s blood could close the portal. How come Spike was able to do it? I don’t understand. What just happened?

Drusilla, who had slumped against Acathla the moment Spike disappeared, started a keening wail. “Noooooooo! Daddy’s in a gilded cage and my Spike’s gone to define pain and suffering. Who will take care of poor Princess? I’m alone . . . all alone!”

Wow. Self involved much? You just sent your boyfriend to hell and you’re worried about being lonely? Unbidden Spike’s expression at the moment Acathla closed comes to mind. He had been laughing like a maniacal eight year old and he stared into my eyes as if we were sharing a private joke. I don’t know why, but Spike’s death bothers me. He’d been helping. He saved my life! He didn’t deserve to get sucked into hell without a fighting chance.

“Buffy?” Angel’s voice breaks my reverie and I realize I’ve been quietly staring at Acathla for a while now. “Buffy, what’s going on?”

“Spike’s dead.” I don’t know what to think. I certainly don’t know how to feel. My emotions can’t switch directions that quickly and I find I’m still upset with Angel for Angelus’s actions.

“Dead . . . but that’s good, right?”

I turn to Angel, “He died helping me save the world from Angelus.”

“Buffy . . .”

I dust my hands off on my pants and pick up the remaining sword from the floor. I’m crying and I can’t seem to stop. I don’t even know who I’m crying for or why. “I can’t deal with this right now. I’ve got to figure out what to do with the rest of my homeless, wanted-by-the-police, expelled-from-high-school life. Meet me at the Library tomorrow at dusk, we’ll talk. And do something about her, will you.” I point at Dru who is still yowling and clawing blindly at the statue.



I have nowhere to go so it’s not surprising that I find myself outside of Giles’ house waiting for him to get home from the hospital. I feel horrible for running out on Angel. It’s not his fault he lost his soul. It’s mine. It’s just that so many things happened tonight that are confusing at best and life altering at worst. I need time to process it. I need time to try and understand.

“Buffy? Oh, thank heavens you’re alright!”

I must have fallen asleep sitting against the door. Giles is looming over me bandaged like a . . . guy . . . with a lot of bandages. Geez. I must really be tired. My enhanced powers of simile are waning. . . or is it metaphor? I never could get those two straight. No wonder I was expelled.

“My mom kicked me out.”

“Oh dear! Well, you are certainly welcome to stay here until we are able to smooth things out between yourself and your mother. Come on in and tell me what happened tonight. Can I assume Angelus has been taken care of?”

“If by taken care of you mean that his soul is back and he’ll be meeting us at the library tomorrow to give a full report then, yes. He’s been taken care of.”

I could see Giles strain not to pull his glasses off and clean them with his bandaged hand. I’m sure after everything that’s happened he’s not very happy that Angel is still among the not living but there’s been enough death tonight.



Intense light. Bright. Too bright.

It’s blazing through my closed eyelids so that all I can see is a red glow. My head is aching horribly but I can’t remember why. I open my eyes and there’s a brilliant overhead light bulb embedded in the ceiling. When I try to lift my head and look around pain shoots through the back of my skull and I whimper. I persevere and when I’m finally able to turn my head I see a room made up of three white walls and one glass wall with a sliding door which is currently closed. I feel a rush of anger. Damned Slayer!

Huh? I’m the Slayer. With that thought everything blurs and I’m in Giles bathroom. Spike’s chained in the tub for some weird reason. Kinky. I can see he’s pretty chapped. If I were in his position I’d be pissed off too so I guess it’s understandable. I lean forward and hear someone who sounds surprisingly like me say “Ooh... look at my poor neck, all bare and tender and delicious...” There’s a flood of warmth in my gut at the look of longing in Spike’s face. The voice that’s mine but not mine speaks again “All that blood just pumping away. . .” I can see Spike’s pants start to shift. Oh God! Gross! I am not attracted to Spike for cripes sake! Even if he does have beautiful eyes and a body to die for. God! Where did that thought come from? I start to back away and Spike looks at me. The real me, not the me that was speaking earlier, and tries to speak but all that comes from his lips is a sound like a dog’s bark before everything goes blurry again.

I’m in the Bronze dancing, except there’s no one on the dance floor but me. I can see Spike dangling from chains from the second floor balcony and Angel and Drusilla are taking turns poking him with a lance that’s shooting sparks. Giles, Xander and Willow are sitting around a table playing poker when Willow looks up at me and says “Your apples. They’re turning brown; the way apples do.”

Spike starts to laugh. It’s the same laugh from when he was being sucked into Acathla and the hair on the back of my neck stands at attention. A bright light starts to glow from something hanging around his neck and it starts to swell until it erupts into beams of light that scour the Bronze like a disco ball. As it touches me I can feel myself start to burn. The last thing I see before I feel myself crumble to dust is Angel, my friends and Dru burning like kindling.


“Buffy! Buffy!! It’s all right! It’s just a dream!” Giles voice startles me awake and my head bumps his as I sit up abruptly. I must really have been out of it if I didn’t even hear him enter the room.

“I’m not surprised that the events of the past few days provoked some nightmares.” Giles smiles at me through his bump-induced wince.

“I don’t know Giles. That didn’t feel like any dream I’ve ever had before; not even the Slayer ones. It felt like it was real,”

I describe the details to Giles who remains quiet, occasionally nodding at points where the dream was most surreal.

“And you say Spike was the primary focus of the majority of the dream?”

“It seemed like it. I know he helped me out tonight, but why would I be dreaming about him so vividly? It’s not as if we’re close or anything.”

“Well, he did die because of Acathla. I’ll start researching what hell dimension Acathla’s portal opens up into in the morning. Maybe that will shed some light on why you experienced this particular dream. If you don’t feel that it’s a Slayer dream it’s still entirely possible that you simply experienced a particularly vivid nightmare caused by the stress of the past several days. As for Spike’s role; well, he did die because he was helping you and you may be working through some feelings of guilt about his death. Let me know if you dream like this again, but until then I’m fairly certain we can write this off to nervous tension.”

“Maybe you’re right, Giles. At least, I hope you are. I’ll be totally happy if it never happens again.”

Pausing on his way back out of the bedroom Giles turns, “Well, seeing that it’s almost time to get up for school anyway, you should probably consider getting out of bed. I strongly suggest you call your mother this morning before school. No matter what you argued about last night; she’s likely to be extremely worried about you this morning.”

Sighing I swing my legs out of bed. Giles is totally right about calling Mom. Of course, he might not be so understanding when I break the news that Mom’s in on the whole Slayer secret thing. In the cold light of day I’m sure she’s upset that she doesn’t know where I am. I’ve never doubted she loves me. Hell, I had a hard time when I first found out I was the Slayer I can’t blame Mom for wigging on me last night.

I pick up the phone and dial my house.

“Buffy?!?!?” my mom answers anxiously.

“Yeah Mom. It’s me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m okay and that I stayed at Giles' house last night.

“Mr. Giles, the librarian?” she’s confused again.

“Yeah, Mom. Remember? He’s my Watcher. He’s from a Council of guys who help Slayers with their calling.”

“Oh, Buffy. I was so worried last night. I didn’t mean what I said. Please come home today.”

I get the feeling that I’m going to have to explain the whole Giles thing to her a third time some time in the near future but I let it go. “I’ll be home after school, Mom. We need to talk and I think we need to do it with the whole group.”

“There’s a group that knows what you do?” I hear her voice sharpen. Sure she was worried about me but that’s not going to help when she realizes how many people knew I was the Slayer while she was kept out of the loop.

“There’s a few people, who found out what I do, that help me. We’ll be meeting at the school library this evening and I’d like it if you could come tonight so we can answer your questions.”

“Buffy, don’t you think that we should have a talk just between the two of us. . .”

“I do, Mom. We’ll do that after school before we meet the with everyone.”

“Is that Spike person part of the group?”

“No Mom.”

“Well, that’s a shame. He seemed like such a nice young man and he was very eager to help you.”

“We’ll talk about him later, okay Mom?”

I hear her sigh over the connection. “Okay, Buffy, but I have to say; I’m not happy at all that I was excluded from such a large part of your life. I’m your mother and we’re all each other has.”

“I’m sorry Mommy.” And I am. I feel terrible that she feels excluded from my life. She’s right. After Dad left we were all each other had and in retrospect I’m questioning my decision to leave her ignorant about my calling.

I have to say I’m not looking forward to the talk I need to have with Giles about my mother’s newfound knowledge of Slayer lore. He gets grumpy every time a new person finds out about my calling. I can just see him now all pouty faced and cleaning his glasses, except he’ll be driving to school so I guess cleaning his glasses will be pretty difficult.



Okay, so talking to Giles wasn’t that bad. Neither was the discussion between my mom and me. I’m thinking that it’s shooting for the moon to hope that the third meeting I’m scheduled for tonight will go well. I didn’t get much of a chance to see the guys today. We’re not in any of the same classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I hid like a coward at lunchtime. Giles said he’d make sure everyone knew about the Scooby meeting so I didn’t need to pass the word. I’m grateful because I needed the past few hours to figure out what I’m going to say.

Xander, Cordy, Willow, Oz and Giles are already there when I enter the library with my mom. Everyone quiets down when they see her and the silence is starting to become uncomfortable when Giles finally speaks up.

“Well, Mrs. Summers, I’m sure I speak for all of us here when I say welcome.”

“Mr. Giles?” Mom gets right down to business, “so you’re the man who puts my little girl into dangerous situations that will probably end up killing her?”

Everything gets quiet again when Xander growls from the table and springs past me. I realize too late that he’s got a stake in his hand and he’s headed straight for Angel, who’s just entered the room.

tbc





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