Chapter Five
Spike’s back. He’s back. How did he get here?!?!
He’s collapsed. If I hadn’t jumped onto the couch he’d be laying on my feet. God! He looks terrible. I can’t see anything but his back, but that is scarred and scorched. I carefully step over him and crouch down to see his face. Luckily for my stomach it’s almost untouched. There’s a burn on his chin above a chain attached to something under his body. I look up at Angel.
“What do we do now?”
Angel scoffs, “well, you could always stake him.”
That just sits wrong with me so I give Angel a dirty look. I roll Spike onto his back. His torso and the front of his legs are scorched almost as badly as his back. I look up at Angel, “Help me move him onto the couch.”
“You want me to put a naked, burned Spike on my new couch?!?!”
“Shut up, Angel, and just help me!”
Surprisingly he does. When we move Spike the chain around his neck slips off and clunks to the floor. I pocket it to show to Giles and turn back to Angel. “Do you have any medical supplies or water available so I can begin to clean some of these out?”
“Buffy, I don’t understand why you don’t just stake him. He’s Spike! He’s an evil soulless vampire!” Angel glares over at Spike and for a moment his eyes flare in surprise. He opens his mouth to say something but promptly shuts it again.
“Angel?”
His eyes focus back on me.
“First Aid kit?”
“Ummmm, yeah. I’ve got one in here.” Angel distractedly heads to a closet in a hallway off the main fireplace coming back with a well supplied First Aid kit. “I bought it yesterday in case you get hurt on patrol.”
“Thank you. If you could get me some water I’d appreciate it.” I lean down and start to disinfect some of Spike’s more severe wounds.
Naked. It occurs to me again that Spike is naked. I desperately try to keep my eyes above his belly button and fail miserably. Wow. My eyes dart back up to his face as my cheeks flush. Yet another place that has been mercifully spared the horrible burns suffered by the majority of his body; which is surprising because it’s such a large target. At least in my relatively inexperienced opinion.
Angel comes back with the water and I finish up my pathetic ministrations. It doesn’t look like I helped much. Maybe if we can get some blood down his throat he’ll heal better. I ask Angel if he has any to spare.
“For God’s sake, Buffy, why are you wasting so much time on him?” Angel’s angry.
I’m not sure why but my temper flares as well. “He saved my life, Angel! He saved me from you. Remember? And for his good deed he was sent to hell! I felt what it was like for him! I felt his pain while he was in hell!”
“What are you talking about?”
“The dreams! The Slayer dreams! They were about Spike and what he was going through while he was in hell and it was horrible!”
“You’re dreaming about him now?” Angel screams. When did our voices get so loud?
Suddenly a loud growl erupts behind me. The next thing I know Spike is crouched between Angel and me and I swear if he had fur on his neck it would be standing straight up. I can’t believe Spike is trying to protect me from Angel again.
Spike sways back and forth growling at Angel and I just know one wrong move made by any of us will end in disaster. Angel’s starting to look angrier by the second and for a moment it looks like Angelus might be back. A whimper escapes my throat and I grab Spike’s arm to pull him back a few steps with me. As my hands close over Spike’s raw skin I realize my error and Spike yelps in pain yanking his arm away from me. I swear I see a look of betrayal on his face before he whirls around and runs out the door into the night.
Inexplicable guilt hits me in my gut and I gasp out Spike’s name in a fruitless attempt to keep him from leaving but he’s gone before the word escapes my lips. I turn back to Angel, who looks slightly less soulless, “I’m going after Spike.”
“Buffy! Wait!” But I’m out the door before Angel can continue.
Hours of searching and I’ve had no luck. Wherever Spike holed up it’s somewhere I’m not familiar with. Despondent, I decide to head for home. Don’t ask me why I’m so down in the dumps about not being able to find Spike. I don’t understand it. If I weren’t so completely wiped I’d go over to Giles’ house and have him figure it all out for me. As is it I think I’ll settle for a phone call.
As I approach my front door there’s a familiar tingly feeling in my abdomen. Vampire approaching. Or wait. . .vampire stationary and slightly beneath me. A little to the left and if I’m not wrong in my house! I run to the backyard and throw open the storm cellar door. Once inside I stop short in total astonishment. Curled up in a tiny, naked, unconscious ball against the far wall is Spike. His burns look slightly better but I can tell it will be a while before his skin is unmarked. Pity.
Huh? Did I just appreciate Spike’s skin? This is getting out of hand! Time to get the bleached menace clothed and out of the vicinity of my vulnerable mother. I start up the stairs when the basement door opens and my mom appears with a set of sweats, a blanket and a pillow in her hands.
“Mom! Get back up the stairs! It’s not safe down here right now!” I start to panic as my imagination runs rampant with images of the wild Spike I saw earlier at my mother’s throat.
“Don’t be silly Buffy. You’re here and if anything serious happens I’m sure Spike will be able to help again even if he’s not exactly talkative right now.”
At some point the surprises will lose their effectiveness, I just know it. It’s impossible to remain in a constant state of surprise. Isn’t it? “You knew he was down here?”
“Of course I did, Honey. I helped him walk down here. He’s really hurt and he was having trouble walking.”
“Mom? Splainy? Please?!?!?” I’m not happy about the level of desperation in my voice. I feel myself long for the days when life was at least moderately predictable.
“I heard a noise on the back porch and when I turned on the light I saw Spike collapsed at the bottom of the steps. He looked so hurt I simply had to help him. I managed to get him down here through the cellar door. It was the closest and he seemed to feel most comfortable down here. He started to whine and struggle when I tried to lead him up to the spare room. With the severity of his burns I felt it was better to simply let him stay down here until I could get some clothes on him.” She paused, frowning in concentration, “you know, I think we have a cot down here somewhere. I’m fairly certain it came with us in the move. Your father would certainly have had no use for it.”
“He didn’t try anything, did he? Didn’t try to hurt you or bite you?”
“Buffy, I don’t think he even fully understood I was there. Now help me with these clothes. It’s dusty and dank down here and I’ll feel better knowing he has something between him and the concrete floor. In the morning we’ll figure out how to get him fed properly. How would one do that in Sunnydale?”
“Angel goes to the butcher shop and they bag blood for him or sometimes he gets blood from the hospital.”
“Well I have no idea how we’d get blood out of a hospital, so I’ll drive over to the butcher’s in the morning to make sure Spike has something nourishing when he wakes up.”
“Mom, he’s a vampire. . .”
“None of that, young lady! You said yourself that he helped you twice and saved your life. Now he needs your help and you owe him!”
I sighed. If I ever wanted to get some sleep tonight I’d better go along. At least now that I’m home I can make sure Spike doesn’t get a chance to hurt Mom.
Anger. Deep uncontrollable anger. He’s speaking but I don’t want to hear what he’s trying to say so every time he opens his mouth I slam my fist or foot in it. I’ve beaten his features off his face. Even his mother wouldn’t recognize him now. Pride. I feel pride that I’ve been able to do this to him. That he’d let me. He manages to crack one bloody swollen eye open and I hesitate just long enough for him to speak.
“You always hurt the ones you love.”
Oh God! What have I done?!?!?!?!?
Look at him. He’s so trashed. I have a mission, though. I need to know if we’re safe. I pretend I’m her. . .it. . .her. I dance over and offer to give the information that he was beaten to keep quiet. He speaks and I realize he’s allowed himself to be beaten for me. To save me pain.
“I couldn't live, her being in that much pain. I'd let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did.”
My throat seizes as I struggle not to cry.
The battle is winding down and the monsters are almost gone. He’s paralyzed inside a beam of bright white sunlight and I can see his skin start to smolder. I start to cry and I grab his hand. I need to tell him something but he won’t listen. I try to pull him out of the light but he won’t let me. He’s burning! Burning for ME!
“No. You don’t. But thanks for saying it.”
I try to scream his name and FORCE him to follow me to safety but the scream is strange and out of place. It wakes me up out of my dream. I’m shaking and sobbing but I can tell everything will be okay. I’m not sure why. I try to raise my hands to brush the tears from my face when I realize my left hand is caught on something. I open my eyes and see that Spike is sleeping sitting curled on the floor leaning against the side of my bed and he’s holding my immobilized hand against his cheek. I’m floored when I comprehend that this is where my feeling of wellbeing comes from.
tbc
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for the delay between updates. I run a part time business out of my home and Summer is my crazy busy time. I'll update as often as possible, but things won't settle down for me until September - when I promise updates will once again become regular.