CHAPTER 31
Each night after that fateful one I saw William pleasuring himself, I found myself unable to sleep. I would lay in bed with my eyes closed listening for the sound of him getting out of bed. Inevitably, he would get up around two in the morning and make his way upstairs. Knowing what he was doing, I would roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling, feeling the ache between my thighs grow more intense with every passing minute. Images of Will touching himself would run through my mind and I couldn’t get them to stop. After about a half hour, he would return to his bed and fall into a fitful sleep at which point I would toss and turn since I was left unfulfilled. The next morning I would use the showerhead on myself to help relieve some of the agonizing pressure, but it was never enough.
One night after Will took his journey up to the attic, I found my feet mechanically following him. I couldn’t help it; it was as if my body had a mind of its own and it was tired of being unsatisfied. Quietly, I walked to the mattresses on the far side of the attic, knowing that I would find him there. I crouched down low in between a chest of drawers and a bookshelf, hiding as I watched his hand move up and down on his cock. It was like a car wreck you stumble across on the highway, I knew I shouldn’t be watching but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene. Guilt would settle in my head, but my blood raced with wanting to see every touch Will laid on his body.
The first few times I would just watch until he would shudder in completion and then I would sneak away in shame. Eventually, just watching wasn’t enough for me. Much like the involuntary movement of my feet that brought me up to the attic each night, my hand moved unconsciously down into the waistband of my pajama bottoms. My fingers would find their way into my wet pussy, teasing my sensitive nub as I watched Will masturbate. Keeping my rhythm in sync with Will, I would bite down on my arm as we climaxed together, stifling any sounds that might escape from my lips. Not allowing myself to savor the afterglow of my orgasm, I would hurriedly slink out of the attic before letting my presence be known.
I should have quit while I was ahead, but my traitorous hormone-driven body betrayed me. I had gotten sloppy in my stealth one night, but it was entirely his fault to begin with.
Earlier that day, Will and I had been working out together as usual. I was at the dance bar stretching out my legs when I heard a grunt coming from behind me. Looking into the mirror, I could see William, bare-chested and sweating, doing chest presses. I continued to stretch as I fantasized about licking the sweat off of the pale firm stomach flaunted before me in the mirror. I snapped out of my daydream when I heard the breathless voice of my brother.
“Elizabeth, a little help please.” I turned to see Will struggling to get the weight up on his last press. Quickly, I ran over to the weight bench helping him to lift the bar back into its holder. “Thanks.”
“You shouldn’t push yourself so hard. If I wasn’t here, you would have crushed your lungs.”
“Well, you were here, so don’t worry about it. Besides, I wanted to see how many presses I could do at 190 lbs. Check out this body, it looks good, doesn’t it?” Will slowly ran his hand across the six-pack of my earlier fantasies as he posed for me.
“Whatever.” I said feigning disinterest. “Maybe you should let your ego help you with the bar next time.”
“Ah, Elizabeth, I do love your wit.” He laughed at me while he toweled off his chest. “I’m going to shower.” I returned to my stretching now impatient for the night to come.
Usually I waited around fifteen minutes before I followed Will up into the attic, but the anticipation from our earlier interaction had sent me up closer to ten. I nestled into my hiding place, leaning back against the wall with my legs slightly parted. William was already naked on the mattresses, but I could tell he was just starting his long strokes along his shaft. My hand found its way into my panties and slowly caressed my inner walls, getting myself wet for what was to come. As Will’s movement sped up, so did mine. I plunged one finger into my opening and began to slide it slowly in and out. Soon, I was furiously pumping two fingers into my core imagining it was him thrusting into me. Will’s hips began to lift up off the mattress, a sure sign that he was close to cumming, but I needed more to get off. Seeking satisfaction, I brought my thumb up to rub against my clit focusing on Will’s hard cock.
As an explosive orgasm ripped through my body, my elbow banged against the chest of drawers. Will’s eyes shot open as his head swung in the direction of the noise, his hand never losing the rhythm of his stroke. His surprised eyes locked on mine. “Elizabeth,” he whispered almost reverently, seconds before his body shook in climax.
Stunned that I had been caught, I stared at Will for a moment before regaining my footing. I scrambled out from between the furniture and started to run towards the attic door needing to escape from the shame I was feeling.
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All the next day, I couldn’t look Will in the eye having not talked about what had happened the night before. It was just another incident that we tried to pretend didn’t happen. I tried not to think about the fact that he came while saying my name, making me wonder if he was imagining that I was the one touching him. The awkwardness was replaced when half way through dinner mother showed up out of the blue.
Sweeping into the room with her pale pink pantsuit and cream colored silk shirt, mom looked like a vision of fresh air. Her skin was radiant and her smile should have lit up the room. “Kids, I’m here.” She said as if no time had passed since her last visit. Dawn looked up from her dinner, but went back to it without saying anything. Connor didn’t even bother to look up from feeding Charlie. Will and I stared at her in disbelief. “Hello? Aren’t you all happy to see me?” Mother gracefully came into the room and stood looking at us expectantly.
“Of course, mom.” Will said with a smile on his face. “You just surprised us, is all. We weren’t expecting you.” He got up from the table and went over to hug her. “How have you been?”
“Wonderful, William! I’m so excited. Look!” She said, extending her left arm out to Will. Sitting on her ring finger was a three-carat princess cut diamond ring set in platinum. “Wes asked me to marry him!” She actually squealed in pleasure while doing a little dance in her spot.
“Wow.” Will said taken aback. “I guess that’s good news.”
“Oh, William. It’s fantastic news! I’m so happy and father is so pleased.”
“Where have you been, mother?” I asked harshly after listening to her little display of excitement.
“Elizabeth, don’t take that tone with me.” Mom said defensively. “I’ve been busy with Wes. He took me sailing out to the Catalina Islands to ask me to marry him. We’ve been at his beach house for the last month. He’s been actively courting me since the holiday party so I’ve been spending a lot of time with him and making things right with Ethan.”
“So busy that you completely forget about us? You haven’t been around since before Christmas. That was over four months ago.” I fumed standing up to confront her.
“Of course not. I’m doing this all for you. To get us back on our feet again. Can’t you see that everything is going perfectly?”
“Going perfectly? You missed Christmas and Will’s birthday!” I yelled fisting my hands at my sides.
“I was busy with Wes and father!” Mother stomped her foot against the wooden floor. “I knew William wouldn’t mind because he understands the bigger picture. He understands the importance of me being with Ethan and pleasing him. Unlike you, he knows how to respect his elders!”
“Does he now?” I said in a calm voice. “I wonder then why grandmother chose to beat him with a bullwhip.” I got right up in her face. “Did you know about that mother? Aren’t you wondering where he got that scar above his eye or can you not remember what your own son looks like since you haven’t been around in so long?”
Her hand came up so fast that I was not prepared for the slap that stung my cheek. My eyes burned into hers as I slapped her back.
“Hey! Stop it!” Will came up between us leading me away from her.
“You ungrateful bitch!” Mother fumed touching her hand to her cheek. “I’ve been doing everything in my power to get myself back into father’s will for us. Reading to him, changing his bed pan, carting him around in that damn wheelchair. You have no idea how hard it is to keep up appearances.”
“It sounds terrible. Sailing in the Catalinas, skiing in Aspen! What did you do for the New Year, mother – sipped champagne and ate caviar in your new silk dress? Do you know what we did? We nearly starved to death because grandmother decided to stop feeding us!” I screamed at her. I wanted her to know all that we’d been through in this Hell.
Mother locked me in a bitter stare. “With the attitude I see coming from you right now, I wouldn’t be surprised if you deserved it.”
“Fuck you!” I lunged at her to get in another shot but was stopped by Will’s strong arms. “William, let go of me!”
“Not until you calm down.” He said holding me by the waist while my arms flailed.
“I will not calm down!” I kept trying to break Will’s hold as I continued ranting at mom. “What’s it going to take for you to figure out we need to get out of this place? Look at Dawn and Connor, how pale they are, how much weight they’ve lost!” I was pleading with her now. “Will one of us have to get sick for you to realize this isn’t healthy? What will it take, mother? Will and I to f-”
“Elizabeth! Stop it now!” Will cut me off mid-sentence and dragged me over to the desk. “Get upstairs.”
I looked at him incredulously. Was he taking her side? “Will?” Tears threatened to spill from my eyes at his betrayal.
“NOW, Elizabeth!” The tick in his jaw told me that he was serious in his command.
Mother stood with a smug smile on her face as she watched William scold me as if I were a child. “Elizabeth, you should know your brother will always pick me over you. I gave him life, I kissed his scraped knees when he fell off his bike, I never made fun of his poetry. You’ll always just be his annoying little sister.”
“I think you better shut up, mother.” Will said in an even tone before bringing his lips to whisper in my ear. “Please, Elizabeth. Just go.” I couldn’t hold in the sob that escaped from my throat as I opened the door to the attic.
“So, mother.” Will said turning towards her, clapping his hands together. “What else has been going on? Tell us about you and Wes.” I shut the door behind me and ran crying up the attic stairs.
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I was lying on the mattresses still crying when William finally came up into the attic a little over an hour later.
“Beth.” He said kneeling down next to me. “Bethy.” He rubbed at my back.
“Don’t touch me.” I said through my sniffling as I shrugged away from him. “I’m so mad at you right now.”
“Bethy, come on.” Will tried to caress my back again.
“NO!” I shook my head adamantly while pushing his arm away. “I can’t believe you did that to me in front of her.” I let the hurt come through my eyes when I finally met his gaze.
Will sat down next to me. “I did it for our own good. You were saying too much.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked angrily. “Are we supposed to shelter her from knowing that her children are being cruelly punished?”
Shaking his head, Will looked straight ahead. “No, it wasn’t that. However you were going to finish that last sentence was too much.” Will turned his head to face me. “Your emotions were too high. There were only two ways you were going to finish that sentence and neither one of them was going to help our situation.”
“So tell me how I was going to finish the sentence, genius.” My voice was dripping with sarcasm.
“If you said for me and you to figure a way out, you were going to sabotage the whole plan to escape. Next thing you know, Adam’s up here putting bars on the attic windows or installing multiple locks on the bedroom door. We can’t afford to let anyone know we’re thinking of an escape route and that includes Dawn and Connor.” He said pointedly. “And I don’t think I need to spell out the other way that sentence could have ended.” He stood up and hung his head in embarrassment.
”No, please. Spell it out for me. I want to hear you say it.”
His lips pursed tightly together while he fixed his stare on mine. Not backing down from the staring contest, I won when Will tilted his head back and let out his breath. “Fine. If you were going to end it by saying for you and I to fuck then that would have royally screwed things up. That little bit of news could have led us into two separate rooms with you and Dawn in one room and me and Connor in another. Then we wouldn’t ever see each other and I can’t do this without you, Elizabeth.” His voice had gone soft and his eyes were pleading with me to understand his actions.
“You really weren’t taking her side?” I asked hugging my knees to my chest.
“No, sweetheart.” He said kneeling in front of me. “How many times do I have to tell you that all we’ve got is each other before you believe me?”
I shrugged my shoulders without answering.
William sighed before starting the conversation again. “Listen, we need to talk about last night.”
“What? Why?” I was panicked.
“Because if we just stay in denial, things are going to come to a head. If we talk about it, we can control whatever’s happening between us.” Will rationalized.
“There’s nothing happening.” I denied.
“Then why did I catch you watching me last night?”
“I woke up and noticed you were gone. I thought you might be trying to escape so I came up to find you.” It wasn’t technically a lie, since that was how the whole thing started. “When I did, I was frozen in shock.”
“Shock, huh?” Will questioned. “So that was the first time you saw me doing that?”
“Of course.” I answered quickly.
“Elizabeth, you’ve walked in on me doing that before when we lived in LA. It took you a second to figure out what I was doing, and then you laughed at me and left.” Will challenged. “I’m not stupid. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that wasn’t your first time since it looked like you were nestled in for the show.”
“Fine! I was watching ok. Are you happy now?”
“No, I’m not happy.” Will shook his head. “You told me I was transferring my feelings onto you because we’re stuck in this room together, so I tried to relieve a little bit of pent up tension by doing something in private and I find you watching me. How am I supposed to take that?”
“Look, I’m in the same boat as you, you know. Maybe I’m transferring too.”
“But it’s wrong.” William stressed.
“Of course, it’s wrong. You don’t think I feel guilty about this. It’s tearing me up inside.”
He let out a chuckle. “I’d bet you’d feel less guilty if you weren’t watching me get off with your hands between your legs.”
“Don’t sound so superior, William. I didn’t cum saying your name.”
“Touché.” He said tilting his head to the side. “So what do we do about it?”
“Nothing. We let our guilty consciences keep us in check.”
“So shame induced self-restraint and blissful ignorance are going to save us from ourselves?” Will didn’t sound convinced.
“Exactly.”
Will shook his head in defeat. “Ok, then I guess I’m going to bed.” He started towards the attic stairs. “I’ll see you later tonight.” At these words, he stopped and turned back to me. “Oh wait, no I won’t. You’ll be here, but I’ll just pretend otherwise. Brilliant plan.” He continued back to the stairs.
I sat glaring at his back vowing I wouldn’t show up to watch him tonight, and hoping I had the strength to fight my baser desires.