CHAPTER 51
Once the kids went to bed, Will and I headed back up to the attic. We were sharing our second bottle of wine while sitting on the windowsill, watching the people come and go from the party. The crowd was much the same as last year – rich, high society, with no care in the world except for what made them happy.
We saw grandmother, dressed as a nurse, saying goodbye to some of the older guests. I thought it was funny how she always chose to dress as something characteristically good, despite the fact that she was one of the most evil women I had ever met. Suddenly, it seemed very important to get Will’s opinion.
“Did you ever notice that Dru keeps dressing as something that symbolizes goodness for Halloween, even though she’s clearly evil? Do you think it’s because she dresses as the opposite of what she really is for one night out of the year?”
A snorted laugh came from behind me, and Will’s movements made me sit up from against his chest. “Jesus, Elizabeth, don’t make me laugh while I’m drinking. I think I got wine up my nose,” Will said as he handed me the bottle so that he could wipe his spilled drink from his face.
“Well, I didn’t think it was that funny. I was just curious.” I leaned back against Will after he got himself together.
“I think she wants to portray herself as good to the community. She’s afraid that if people knew what was really going on in this house, they would condemn her as the abusive bitch that she is.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I could definitely see other people’s opinions mattering a lot to her. Perception is reality and all that junk.” What Will had said about grandmother being afraid reminded me of the story he read earlier in the evening. “Will, do you really think I’m afraid of being alone?”
“No, why would you think that?”
“In the story earlier, you made Buffy have abandonment issues. Do you really see me like that?” I grabbed the bottle from him, taking a large gulp. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to hear his answer.
“Not at all, Elizabeth,” he assured me, and then added softly, “They’re mine.”
He was so quiet I knew he didn’t want me to really hear it, but now I was curious. “What do you mean?”
“All of the fears in the story, they’re mine.” Now, it was his turn to take the wine from me and drink deeply before continuing. “Dawn’s fear was about not being a good enough witch, about being a fuck up basically. Before we came here, in school, I was always afraid of disappointing mom and dad.”
“Will, you got straight A’s and were the perfect son. How could you possibly think you were a disappointment?”
“Well, that’s the thing, isn’t it? It didn’t mean I was one, I was just afraid of being one. Besides, I had to work for my grades, but more than that, I was never socially acceptable. You were so popular, and I had one friend. One geeky friend. Don’t think I never noticed you and Cordelia laughing at me during play rehearsals.” My face turned red in embarrassment, thinking back to how we used to tease him. “Now, we’re stuck in this place and I don’t know if I’m good enough to get us out of here. Sometimes I think I am, but we’ve been here over a year, and we’re not really any closer to leaving.”
I could feel his grip on my hip tighten, and I kept quiet as he revealed all of the thoughts running through his head.
“Connor’s fear was about controlling the beast inside him, the literal werewolf, but for me it’s about keeping my temper in check. Sometimes, in the morning when grandmother comes with breakfast, I have visions in my head of grabbing her around the neck and pounding her head into the wall until she’s as limp as a rag doll. I can see the blood on my hands, and I’m happy that she’s hurt because of what she’s done to all of us. It frightens me to think I might actually be capable of something that brutal.
“And you.” His trembling voice revealed his confusion. “All these emotions I feel running through my body and my head. It’s like you said that time when you started crying after we were together, they’re overwhelming. I know I shouldn’t be feeling these things for you because you’re my sister and they’re so wrong, but I can’t help it even with all the guilt I feel. I can’t just turn them off.”
William was treading in very dangerous waters, and he hadn’t even gotten to the abandonment issues yet. I never knew he was feeling any of these emotions before. He always played the role of Spike perfectly, without blurring the lines. It was his game after all.
His hand was still kneading my hip with firm fingers, and it didn’t seem like he was going to stop talking anytime soon. “But most of all, I’m scared to death that when we get out of here, you’re not going to need me anymore. You’re beautiful and smart and any guy would be crazy not to want you. Somebody is going to come along and sweep you off your feet. Make you a wife and give you a family. It’s what you deserve, and I can never give you that.”
“Will…” I started to interrupt him, but he stopped me.
“No, don’t Elizabeth. Don’t say something just to placate me, because that’s all it is. Nothing you can say is going to make me be able to give you that. And when you find the guy that can give it to you, you’ll leave me behind. Just like her.” His head nodded in the direction of the window, just before he took another angry drink from the bottle, then throwing it against a dresser.
Jumping at the sound of shattering glass, I turned my head to see what he was nodding towards. Standing outside in the driveway was mother.
Dressed as Marilyn Monroe in the famous white dress worn in ‘The Seven Year Itch,’ Mom was draped all over Wesley, kissing his neck and face. He was dressed as Joe DiMaggio, wearing an old fashioned pin-striped baseball uniform. It looked as though he was trying to control her drunken behavior.
“Don’t compare me to her,” I said harshly, upset that Will would even think that we were anything alike.
Ignoring my protest, he moved his hand inside my tank top to massage my breast before continuing. “Drusilla must not be very happy that she’s hanging all over Wesley like that in front of all the dignified guests, but she doesn’t care about anything except her own self gratification.” Will pinched my nipple as he ended his thought.
Even though his action elicited a moan from me, I kept defending myself. “I’m not like her.”
“Aren’t you?” His tone had turned bitter. “You wore the leather pants with the red tank top tonight because you knew I’d like it. You knew it would drive me crazy all night with wanting you. Wanting to touch you, wanting to please you.” His other hand made its way down to the button of my pants to undo it and the zipper, and then he shoved his hand forcefully between my legs. Will gave a sour laugh at what he discovered. “You didn’t even wear underwear because you know I’m your willing slave.” His fingers glided up and down my folds, getting me wetter by the second.
At his touch, my head lolled back against his chest. Shaking me slightly, he sternly whispered in my ear, “No, look at her.” His harsh demand forced my eyes to look back out the window.
Mom and Wesley were now in the middle of a heated make out session, their bodies pressed together tightly as they kissed each other hungrily. I guessed Wesley decided he didn’t care who saw them being this intimate; it was obvious that Mom’s lust-filled ministrations had changed his mind.
William had slipped two fingers inside me, pumping them at a fast steady pace while continuing to roughly massage my breast. “Look at how easily Wesley gave in to her. A shake of her tits, a little grind with her ass and he’s putty in her hands.”
Despite the lack of tenderness, I was completely aroused by Will’s actions and I hated my body for it. I didn’t want to be like her.
“She’s got what she wants now from him, so she doesn’t need us anymore. She’s forgotten all about us, just like you’re going to forget all about me when you find someone else to get you off.” He applied pressure to my clit with his thumb, and I was so close to coming, but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
“No,” I yelled. “Stop it!” I grabbed his hands and removed them from beneath my clothing. Getting up from my position on the windowsill, I turned and slapped him across the face. “I’m not like her!” I started to stomp off in anger, but Will caught my arm. Turning me to face him, I saw the red mark I left on his cheek from where I hit him.
“You think you can just leave me like this?” he growled, his voice both angry and hurt.
“Don’t touch me!” I wrestled my arm away from him and tried to leave again, but he grabbed me around the waist and hauled me over his shoulder.
“Let go of me, William! Now!” My hands beat against his backside, fighting for my freedom from his grasp.
“No, not until you tell me the truth.” Will flung me down so my back hit the mattress. His body straddled mine, keeping me down. He held onto my wrists above my head in a bruising grip. “Did you pick out a position for tonight?”
“It doesn’t matter whether I did or not. I’m not letting you touch me,” I replied back through gritted teeth. My hips bucked against his body trying to get him off me, and I could feel how hard he was.
“It does matter.” He drove his member into my body, making me moan, and then redoubled his grip on my wrists. “I want to know what you picked. I need to know.”
Hearing his voice so choked up with different emotions, I stilled my movements of protest, instinctively knowing that my answer was very important to him. “Fine,” I said with an air of annoyance. “It was me on top facing backwards.”
I could tell he didn’t like my answer because he closed his eyes briefly before snarling at me. “Typical. I believe that one’s called ‘The Subjected Man’.” He glared at me with such contempt in his eyes. “Did you pick that so you wouldn’t have to look at me while we were doing it? Did you think you could imagine yourself with someone else instead of with me?”
“What? No!” I was shocked that he would even think that, and I realized that his train of thought was stemming from his fears of inadequacy and abandonment that he just confessed to having. My voice took on a gentle tone as I tried to reassure him. “I’ve never thought that. When I’m with you, I’m with you, no one else.”
The anger behind his eyes was waning, and his grip on my wrists loosened. He hung his head so I couldn’t see his face as tears began to take form.
I freed one of my hands from his grip and brought it to his face, making him look at me. “I picked it because I thought we would both enjoy it.” I wiped a tear from his cheek. “The book said it allowed both the male and the female to explore the…” I paused, suddenly embarrassed to reveal my intentions out loud. I tried to find a more subtle way of saying them, “…the back area of the other person.”
Will’s forehead crinkled in confusion. “Why would I want to explore your back?”
I rolled my eyes, knowing I was going to have to spell it out. “Not the back, the backside... the anal region,” I said shyly, barely a whisper. “I thought you liked it when I did that thing to you in the shower, and you know I like it, so I figured we could sort of do it to each other at the same time while being together. Sort of a double penetration thing.” I looked away from him, completely mortified at my confession.
“Oh.” His voice was void of emotion, knowing he screwed up.
“Doesn’t matter anymore, though; you’ve ruined the mood.” I gave one final shove and this time, I succeeded in getting him off me. Standing up, I began making my way away from him.
“Hey,” he yelled, springing up after me. “I think I can get you back in the mood,” he said seductively, sweeping me up in his arms and lugging me, kicking and screaming back to where we came from.
“You’re really being a jerk tonight. Just leave me be.” Despite my protests, my back hit the mattresses once again.
Will’s lips came crashing down on mine in a bruising manner, but my lips refused to move against his. I struggled with him, my arms flailing against his chest. Realizing I wasn’t going to kiss him back, he grabbed my tank top and dragged it down my chest, exposing my breasts, latching his mouth around one of my nipples.
“Grrr,” I roared, focusing all of my strength on rolling him off me. My legs wrapped around his waist and I heaved us around, changing our positions. I straddled him with my chest heaving, exposed to his lustful gaze.
“Mmmm, Buffy. You’re only turning me on more with all this resistance.” It was the first time he hadn’t called me by my real name all night, and I guessed that even with his earlier confessions, they weren’t stopping him from playing this game. Distracted by my musings, Will’s arm snaked around my waist and flipped us again. His hand came up to my breast as he roughly rolled my nipple between his fingers and began grinding his stiff cock into my center. “You look so fucking hot tonight, all flushed with anger. Those leather pants giving me a luscious view of your tight little ass as you try to walk away from me.” His lips began nibbling behind my ear, as he continued, “I’ve wanted you since I first saw you tonight, wanted to taste you, to feel your pussy surrounding me.”
My unwillingness was slowly ebbing away as I became more aroused from his words and movements. I had to admit that fighting with him was hot, and my hips began to automatically move in a rhythm matching his.
“That’s it, baby. I know what you want to do tonight….what you want to do to me. I know I’m going to love it too, my dirty little girl. Love it when you touch me, everywhere.” His hand reached down into my pants, and he plunged two fingers inside me, making me cry out in pleasure. “Fuck, you’re so wet. Can’t wait to be inside you.”
He sat up and grabbed my leg, removing my boot and sock from my foot and then repeated his action on my other side. Grabbing the top of the leather pants, he yanked them down over my hips and off me. Before coming back to join me, he reached into the pocket of his black jeans, pulling out our remaining two condoms. Throwing them beside my head, he nodded towards them. “Gonna use those tonight. I want to be inside you when I come.”
Will lowered his body so that he was flush with mine. My legs twisted with his as I shed his leather coat from his shoulders. After discarding the coat, he ran his hands along my sides, bringing my tank top with them. I tugged at his shirt, lifting it up and over his head to expose his perfect chest. My fingers immediately went to the front of his pants, anxiously undoing the button and zipper, then pushing them down, using my feet to get them all the way off of his body.
When Will’s cock sprang free from its confinement, it instantly sought the heat of my pussy. As his hard length ran along my slit, it became slathered in my juices. Not being able to take his teasing, I shifted my hips so the head of his member poked just inside my opening. “Uh, uh,” Will said, slowly thrusting his hips in a teasing manner so that he didn’t go much further inside. “You’re on top tonight.” In contradiction with his teasing, he suddenly sunk himself all the way inside me as he brought his lips down for a kiss, but then rolled us so I was on top, with him still embedded inside me.
I began to ride him in a steady rhythm. Much like my blow jobs, I had gotten better at setting the pace while being in this position from the first time I had been on top. It was commonplace now for Will to roll us over in the middle of our sessions. He said he got hot watching my boobs bounce and the way I would throw back my head in pleasured abandonment. He said he liked me being in control.
That was one of the reasons I picked tonight’s position. The book said the woman was in complete control; the man was subjected to her mercy. But it also said that it was preferred by male lovers since submission can be very sexually stimulating for a man. I wanted to see if Will would agree with that thought.
When I heard Will moan, I realized I needed to hurry up and switch positions or we were going to get too carried away in the one we were currently in. Then I remembered I had brought something up here with me so we could use it for some added pleasure. Lifting myself off of him, I grabbed his coat and wrapped it around me.
“Hey, where are you going?” Will asked, not understanding why I would suddenly get up like that. “You’re coming back, right?”
“Of course, I’m coming back.” I could tell his insecurities were getting the best of him. “I just need to go get something. I forgot about it. Put the condom on while I’m gone.” With that, I sprang away over to the table where we laid out the map of Sunnydale. Seeing the two bottles of ‘Holy Water’ that I needed, I picked up my step to grab them in order to quickly return to Will. When I got back, I could see he’d done as I’d told him; his erection now covered in latex.
“You look very sexy in that coat.” He eyed my naked form beneath the leather, and I saw his cock jump in response.
“Really?” I asked, stepping over him so my two feet were planted beside his knees, giving him a nice view of my pussy. “We’ll see if you still think that after I do this.” I took the two bottles I was holding and showed them to him.
Confusion was written clearly all over his face. “Holy Water?”
I tipped the bottles over so that the contents would drip down onto his chest. His back arched when the liquid hit his skin, as if he really was a vampire getting burned by the blessed water.
“Cold,” he hissed out.
“Here, let me warm it up.” I took off the coat before sinking down to my knees, rubbing the massage oil all over his chest. Paying particular mind to his nipples, I swirled my fingers around the hard nubs, pinching at them which elicited several groans from Will. “I got a bottle for each of us. Here’s yours.” I placed one bottle near his hip and then turned around to face his feet. “You ready?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Been ready. Just get me inside you.”
I aligned his cock up with my opening and turned my head to watch him as I sunk down on top of him, looking forward only when his eyes rolled back at the feel of me surrounding him. I began to ride him again, but I learned quickly that I had to adjust my usual movements a little with this new position. Because I was facing the other way, his cock was at a different angle inside me. Though it was different, it definitely felt good, almost better than the other way because it seemed to hit that special spot inside me every time I came down.
As I got used to the new angle, I suddenly felt Will’s hands on my back. He had put some massage oil on his own hands and was now rubbing up and down my spine. It felt strangely erotic, and when he moved his hands over to my sides to just barely brush against the sides of my breast, my breath hitched at his subtle touch. Everything seemed heightened by the fact that I couldn’t see him; it was almost like being blindfolded and having your body explored by your unseen lover.
Following his cue, I took the bottle of massage oil and dripped some onto my hands. Since his legs were straight out in front of me, I began to massage his thighs and then moved down towards his calves. As I reached further down his legs, my body leaned forward, causing my clit to rub against his ball sac every time I moved.
Both of us moaned in pleasure.
“Buffy, baby, that feels so good.” Will’s hands caressed down to my bottom, kneading my cheeks firmly. I knew that at this angle my ass was completely exposed to William. We were both also afforded delicious views of his cock sliding in an out of my body. The penetration of his member was so deep inside me that I cried out in surprise when I felt his oil covered finger slide easily into my back entrance.
At this added stimulation, I knew I wasn’t going to last long. I stilled my hips and slowly rose back up into a sitting position. “Bend your knees,” I demanded of William, and he complied without hesitation. “Spread your legs apart further.” Again, he obeyed my request.
I started a slow pace again, enjoying the feel of Will invading both of my holes. He gently worked a second finger inside me, and I thought I was going to explode. Trying to stave off my orgasm by taking deep cleansing breaths, I concentrated on pleasuring Will in the same manner he was me. Gathering more oil on my finger, I lightly ran my finger over his forbidden entrance, trying to prepare him for his own invasion. I could hear his breathing become erratic as I slowly worked my finger all the way into his body.
Stilling my hips again, I told Will to straighten his legs a little, allowing me to move forward slightly. I began a steady pace where his hard cock hit against my G-spot with each downward thrust, the rhythm of our fingers matching each others. My hardened nub was back to rubbing against Will’s sensitive skin, coating him with my arousal.
“Shit, Buffy! I’ve never felt anything so good. You’re touching me in all the right places. I can’t take much more.”
“Spike, I’m so close to coming; I want you to come with me, please.” I begged for release even though I knew that I was the one that would have to give it to us. I buried my finger as deep as it would go, and wiggled it, tickling the inside of Will erogenous zone, knowing it would push him over the edge.
“Holy fuck! I’m coming now, baby, come with me.” He repeated my technique and within seconds I was falling, experiencing one of the most intense orgasms I had ever had.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” I screamed with my release. The feel of his cock pulsing inside my pussy as he came and my anal walls clamping around his fingers, as well as his gripping mine, prolonged my orgasm. When I felt his other hand come around to rub at my clit, a spasm wracked my whole body as another powerful explosion erupted inside me.
Coming down, I removed my finger as I panted, trying to catch my breath. Will grabbed my waist and was hauling my listless body up his chest, settling my dripping pussy above his mouth. My body continued to tremble as he licked me clean of my spendings.
As my head lay still on his thigh, I realized that Will’s cock never softened, even after the potent orgasm he just had. It seemed to jump every time I moaned in delight from him pleasuring me. Gaining back some of my strength and becoming more and more aroused as Will’s tongue delved into my center, I carefully removed the used condom from his member and put it aside on the floor. Wrapping my mouth around him, my tongue tasted the salty semen he’d already expended. Will’s ministrations became even more voracious now that I was tending to him as well, and when his teeth nipped at my clit, I raced over the edge again.
My orgasm caused me to release him from my mouth, and Will took that opportunity to push me off him, onto my back. He got up on his knees and ripped open the other condom package. “Need to be inside you again,” he murmured urgently as he rolled it on his rigid flesh and came down to lay against my body. Kissing me deeply, he slid inside me with one quick thrust. Despite his eagerness to be joined with me again, he set a slow pace, pulling all the way out, before pushing in to the hilt on each thrust. He held my hips down against the mattress so I couldn’t move, continuing to kiss me with all the passion he felt inside.
Breaking the kiss, he started spilling his secrets to me again. “I meant what I said earlier. You make me crazy, leave me overwhelmed with emotions. It’s confusing to me because even though you stir me up, you calm me too. When I’m inside you, I feel like I’m home. Feels like it’s where I belong.” My legs came up to wrap around his waist so he could pierce me deeper as we climbed together to our peaks. “You make me feel like a man - someone who’s capable of getting us out of here. Your confidence in me gives me hope, especially when I doubt myself.” His tempo quickened and I arched my back, knowing we were both close. “I love everything that you do to me, for me…even as it tears me up inside.”
We both let out strangled sobs at the end of his speech. I knew exactly what he was feeling because I felt it too. With him, everything felt right, but afterwards the guilt ran rampant through my veins. We trampled it down, tried to pretend it wasn’t there, but it was always just under the surface. Our crying was cathartic, allowing us to share in our guilt for once.
But even as we cried because we knew what we were doing was wrong, his hips never faltered, continuing to drive into me until we finally reached our climax together. Our hands were tightly entwined, as if we would lose the other if we let go. And although my orgasm from earlier was powerful, this one made me see stars behind my eyes for entirely different reasons. Will collapsed on top of me, hugging me tightly as our tears continued to fall.
Once our emotions were more stable, we laid together in post coital bewilderment; Will propped up on his side looking at me, while I lay on my back staring at the ceiling.
“I’m sorry I was so rough earlier.” Will began lightly stroking my stomach, apology evident in the hesitant way he touched me.
“It’s okay,” I replied, shifting my head to meet his eyes. “Turns out Buffy likes it a little rough.”
Will laughed a little at my response. It was nice to see him smiling after the serious turn the night had taken. “Well, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t scare you. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
I grabbed his hand and brought it to my mouth for a tender kiss on his palm, then entwined our fingers together. “I wasn’t scared; I know you would never hurt me. I trust you with everything. You know that.”
“Yeah, but I should still be able to control my temper.”
At the mention of one of his fears, I felt like I needed to say something to quell his insecurities. “Will, your fears, they’re unfounded. You’re a wonderful man. You haven’t let me down and you aren’t going to. Please, don’t feel like you have to keep your emotions all bottled up inside, I’m here if you need to talk to me. And when we get out of here, you’re going to make some other girl very happy as a husband and a father.” Although it hurt me to say that, I knew it was true, and I wanted him to be sure he wasn’t going to be alone even if he wasn’t going to be with me. “But no matter what happens, I’m not going to abandon you, Will. I love you, you’re my brother.”
Will gazed at me with a sad smile on his lips, while stroking his thumb along the back of my hand. “I love you too, Bethy. Therein lays the problem.” He gave me a soft kiss before he got up and walked away, leaving me confused and alone in the attic.
[Reviews - 1099]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 5001 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry this took so long. Thank you to my wonderful betas, Megan and Andrea. Enjoy and please review! I'd love to know what you all think of this one.