Chapter 17
They were both quiet when they reached Spike’s house. They entered the kitchen and Spike sat down, while Buffy went over to the freezer.
He was really worried about the fact that she had yet to say anything to him.
Buffy got out the icepack and walked over to him. “For your hand,” she said and handed it to him.
His hand wasn’t hurting that much, but he took it from her anyway.
She sat down next to him and avoided his gaze.
Spike couldn’t take it anymore and put the icepack down. “Buffy, please look at me. I’m sorry about what happened. I never meant to scare you.”
Buffy finally looked at him. “You were only sticking up for me. It did get a little scary. I’ve never seen you like that before.”
Spike sighed and knew that he had to make it better. “I’m not usually like that. I was just upset at what that bloke said about you. You do know I would never hurt you, right?”
Buffy shrugged and averted her eyes again, but he wouldn’t let her this time.
He gently grabbed her chin and turned her eyes back on his. “I would never lay a finger on you, Buffy. You have to believe that.”
Buffy felt tears start to cloud her vision. She decided that now was the time to tell him what she never told anyone before. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke. “Do you know anything about what happened with my dad?”
Spike wondered where that came from all of a sudden. “I don't know much, your family never seems to talk about him.”
Buffy shook her head and took another breath to calm herself. “There’s a reason for that. It hurts too much to talk about him.”
Spike could tell that this was hard for her and gave her hand a comforting squeeze. “What happened?” he wondered with concern.
“It was before you and Giles moved here. My dad was an alcoholic, drinking was his answer to everything basically. He got frustrated a lot and would always take it out on my mom. They were constantly fighting and sometimes he...he would hit her. Dawn and I would always go to Harmony’s room when they were yelling downstairs. We were closer to Harmony then. She would always tell us that everything would be okay, but it was hard to believe that. My mom ended up with a lot of bruises and she would tell us that she fell down, but we knew the truth. She finally woke us up one night when Dad was out and told us to pack a bag. We were going to leave that night, but he came home early and got really mad at Mom. He told her that he would never let us go and then he punched her hard in the face, right in front of us. That was the first time we witnessed it. Harmony and I went to Mom’s side to see if she was okay, but Dawn went over to our father instead. She kicked him in the leg and he got so mad that he slapped her across the face. That was the first time he ever laid a hand on any of us. Mom freaked when she saw that. She was okay with him hitting her, but she never wanted us to get hurt. So, she yelled at him and told him to leave. He looked like he was upset after he hit Dawn and actually listened to her for once. He walked out of the house and Mom called the police.” She stopped to look at the reaction on Spike’s face.
He was angry as he took it all in. “The bastard did that? Where the hell is he now?”
She flinched at the tone of his voice.
Spike felt like an idiot for scaring her again. “I’m sorry, baby. What else happened?” he asked in a calmer tone.
Buffy took another breath before she continued. “He was really drunk when he left and we figured that he wouldn’t get too far. The police showed up a little while later to tell us about a car accident a few minutes from our house. They identified his car and it looked like he lost control and crashed into a tree. He wasn’t even wearing his seatbelt and went through the windshield. He was killed instantly.”
Spike was shocked at everything she told him. He never knew that she lived with that for all these years. It made him want to protect her even more. He then wrapped his arms around her.
She buried her head in his chest.
“I’m so sorry, Buffy. I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I’m just glad that you decided to tell me.”
She pulled away after a moment to look at him. “I never told anyone that before. We like to pretend that it never happened and get on with our lives. No one talks about it around here anymore.”
Spike felt touched knowing that he was the only person she told, but she wasn’t finished yet.
“I told myself that I would never be in that situation. I saw everything my mom had to deal with and I swore that I would never go through that. I would never be with anyone that would hurt me.”
Spike now understood and felt like an even bigger idiot. “I love you, Buffy. I would never hurt you. I have never hurt a woman in my whole life and I never will. I should have walked away when you wanted to, but I couldn’t let some wanker talk about you like that. I promise it won’t happen again. You never have to be afraid of me.”
Buffy gazed into his eyes to see how sincere he was. “I know I don’t. I would trust you with my life.”
Spike smiled and gave her a soft kiss on the lips, then pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. “I will always be here for you,” he whispered.
Buffy closed her eyes. It felt like a huge weight had finally been lifted off of her shoulders. She knew Spike was a good man and that he never said anything he didn’t mean. He would always be there for her, no matter what. That was a very comforting thought.