Buffy nervously cleared her throat as she and Spike walked through the graveyard. After dropping off the Potentials, they had both decided that an additional ‘real’ patrol was needed, since the training session they’d had earlier didn’t result in any vamps being dusted. Just Spike’s ribs getting cracked again. Buffy winced at the memory before flushing as she remembered the moment after it.
Now as they each seemed to avoid the other’s gaze, she was growing more and more agitated.
“I don’t want to ignore what happened earlier,” she said suddenly, watching as Spike jumped slightly and turned to face her.
“And what’s that?”
Buffy stopped walking, biting her lip as she shoved her hands in the pockets of her coat. “I felt something,” she murmured, swallowing her pride and every instinct that was telling her to run and avoid this conversation at all costs. Finally raising her eyes to his, her expression softened when she saw the way he was looking at her with nothing but love in his eyes. “I don’t want to ignore it,” she repeated.
“Fair enough,” Spike replied quietly, walking away with a smirk.
Staying where she was for a moment, Buffy’s mouth opened and closed in surprise before she quickly chased after him. “So that’s it?” she asked, catching up to him. “I bear my soul to you and all you can say is fair enough?”
“That was bearing your soul?” Spike asked with a smile. “That was deep.”
Buffy nearly growled in frustration. “Don’t patronize me.”
Spike shook his head as he looked at the ground, never stopping as they continued their patrol. “Not patronizing, love,” he said quietly, glancing over at her. “Just because we don’t ignore it, doesn’t mean we have to make a thing of it.”
“That sounds like something I’d say,” she replied, wrapping her arms around herself to ward off a chill.
“I learn from the best,” he muttered, frowning when he heard a noise to his left. Coming to a stop, he focused his attention in the direction for a moment before slowly walking away.
“Nothing there?” Buffy asked, glancing in the direction.
“Nest of vamps, but I figured we’d leave ‘em.” Seeing the look of disbelief on her face, Spike couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m kidding, Buffy. Just an animal - nothing that goes bump in the night.”
“Oh… right,” she muttered, a nervous smile on her lips.
Both walked in silence for a few moments, each growing more agitated with the nerves that seemed to be flowing off of the other.
Sighing heavily after a minute, Spike reached over to her, taking her hand in his and feeling her relax at the contact. Ever since the brief moment they’d had in front of the Potentials, both seemed to be craving the simple gestures that had been coming more naturally to them in the last few weeks.
Walking hand in hand, Buffy couldn’t help the smile that played on her lips as they continued scanning the area. Glancing over at him, she studied Spike’s profile for a long moment before looking away, feeling her nerves growing with every step. “I love you, you know,” she said, her voice coming out of nowhere.
Spike continued walking, almost as if he’d never heard her. “I know,” he replied, briefly glancing at the ground.
Buffy practically held her breath, waiting for more. When he didn’t say anything else, she brought her other hand over to cover the top of his, staring at their joined hands as her fingers played over his skin. “I felt it,” she said softly. “Earlier tonight. It was… it was something that’s been there all along, and yet…”
“And it’s still completely new?” he filled in, finally looking over at her.
“In a nutshell,” she said with a nervous smile. “This just… It feels right.”
“Always has,” Spike replied quietly, finally stopping to lean against a nearby tombstone, pulling Buffy into his arms, her back against his chest as he rested his chin on her shoulder. Wrapping his arms around her, he smiled when she relaxed against him, bringing her hands up to cover his.
“Why did I fight this for so long?” she asked, turning her head slightly, unintentionally nuzzling his cheek and smiling when she watched him close his eyes in contentment.
“Wasn’t the right time,” he said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
“And it is now?” she asked, feeling a tremor of fear pass through her that maybe this wouldn’t work.
“Right words at the right time, baby,” he whispered, his lips brushing against her neck, feeling the tension drain out of her body. Pressing a kiss to her temple as he looked up toward the sky, he tightened his hold on her. “I love you.”
“You always have,” she said with a smile.
“Yeah,” he agreed, still looking at the sky, trying to convince himself that he wasn’t dreaming. “Since the moment I first saw you.”
“You never told me that,” she whispered, afraid to raise her voice and break the peaceful moment they seemed to be in.
“You weren’t ready to know,” Spike said, kissing her temple for a second time before looking straight ahead.
“I am now.”
“You are,” he said with a nod.
Both stayed quiet for a moment, each listening to the sound of the wind rustling through the branches of the trees, focusing on the other person.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered after a moment. “For everything.”
“Me, too,” he said in a strained voice. “Never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know,” Buffy replied in a voice that was filled with love and understanding. A tone that he’d only heard once before. In the basement of her house, right before he’d been kidnapped by the Bringers. Her voice had held such soft conviction that night and he knew those words would have sustained him for an eternity.
I believe in you, Spike.
That is, until he’d heard her soft confession of love a few moments ago.
“Still believe in me?” he asked with a teasing grin, briefly closing his eyes when Buffy snuggled closer to him.
“Do you even need to ask?”
“No,” he said, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her hair. “I don’t.”
“You think we can make this work?” Buffy asked quietly after a few moments of silence.
“I doubt it,” he said with a smile, lightly squeezing her to let her know he was kidding.
“Me too,” she replied with a giggle. “But we’re gonna have a hell of a time making it not work.”