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Author's Chapter Notes:
i do not own the characters and the song is by britney spears
Five years passed and Buffy was now 23. She had talked to Willow and Xander everyday. She even talked to Spike. He explained why he left and she forgave him. They none lost contact over the years. But Spike had moved on and was dating some girl named Drusilla. That's why they lost contact so much. She still talked to Willow and Xander. Who where getting married. So now she had to go home because she was the maid of honor and they all knew she had a son. His name was Billy Ray Summers. And he was her world. Spike knew it was his but he didn't want anything to do with it. And she was fine with that.

Her five year old son looked at her, "Am I gonna get to meet daddy mommy?" She looked at her son as they where on the plane. She smiled softly and nodded, "Yeah baby you can meet him if you like." She kissed his forehead. She knew she wasn't the same girl she once was. She went into cosmotogly school and now she had her own shop. She loved it. But her son was her main priority. And that was fine with her. The past couple years had been hard. She came home one day to find her mother had died. She passed away from a tumor. Giled..Her mothers boyfriend who was like a father came to her. He watched Billy while she was depressed. That was the last time she saw her mom. Her friends flew in from Sunnydale for the funeral. Even her dad. And that was the day Spike told her, "Listen love I met someone. She's great. And I don't want anything to do with him. We live so far apart so why care. What we had...well It wasn't anything much was it?" Buffy looked at him in tears and just nodded, "Whatever, Spike. Just please leave." That was the last time she saw or even heard from him. He did try and call and leave messages apologizing but she never called back.

Landing at the airport she was greeted by Willow and Xander. She hugged them and then Billy hugged them, "Aunt Willow, Unlce Xander!!! I missed you!" Buffy smiled and they loaded up and went to their place. When she walked in she dropped her suitcase and looked at him. He looked at the same but also different, "Hello, Buffy." She held her little boys hand and just looked at him with a blank expression, "Hello, William." And that's when he knew she wasn't the Buffy he knew. She would never be. He looked at the little boy and saw himself in him, "Hi Billy how are you?" Billy just looked at him and hid behind his mommy, "Come on Billy lets get you in your room while mommy and Spike talk." Willow and Xander led him upstairs.

Looking at him she glared, "What the hell gives you the right to talk to him! What the hell gives you the right to be here?? You may be Xander's best man but you made it perfectly clear you didn't want anything to do with either of us! I had to tell that little boy that you didn't care! He had to deal with seeing other kids with their daddy's! And he would ask me all the time if he did something wrong! I had to lie and say that YOU didn't care. So DON'T act like you care. Because if you cared you would have been there. You woul dhave moved there and you would have tried. We could have been together and been perfect. We could have been a family. You hurt me on the day of my moms funeral. I needed you. HE needed you and you acted like we where nothing to you. You wanted a clean break. So you left me for someone who..Who left you. I would have never left you. I would have stayed by your side and loved you. But I guess I wasn't good enough. Tell me, Would you have waited for me if you didn't knock me up? Is that it? You got me pregnant and you couldn't deal. How do you think I felt when I had to raise him on my own! I cried for months because you didn't want me. But I realized. There's nothing wrong with me. Your the fuck up. All I did was love you." She was in tears almost. But she wouldn't cry. Not in front of him.

Spike glared at her and advanced a bit, "Me? Your the one who left dammit!!! You left! Yeah I didn't want anything to do with you guys but if I could do it all over again I would have been there! But I met someone who dumped me because I'm still in love with you!" He yelled. Buffy looked at him and shook her head. She backed away,"Yeah I love you too. But I don't want you. Not anymore. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to go up with MY son." She turned. Spike could tell something else was wrong. She was too thin and then he saw the cuts. He sat down and couldn't believe this.

The women that he knew wouldn't do this. But she wasn't the same girl he knew at one time. She had been through so much. He let her down when she needed him. And he let her down. He walked up to the little boys room and watched him play. Then he went to the guest room and his tears fell.

Walking up to the bathroom, Buffy closed her eyes and shut the door. Two people. Two different rooms. Cried each others tears, Both still in love. One of them knowing they screwed up and the other lost with a child. Both sobbed for themselves and the other.


"Everytime"

Notice me
Take my hand
Why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I make believe
That you are here
It's the only way
I see clear
What have I done
You seem to move on easy

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

I may have made it rain
Please forgive me
My weakness caused you pain
And this song is my sorry

Ohhhh

At night I pray
That soon your face
Will fade away

And everytime I try to fly
I fall without my wings
I feel so small
I guess I need you baby
And everytime I see you in my dreams
I see your face, you're haunting me
I guess I need you baby

song by Britney Spears





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