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Walking slowly down the stairs, Buffy looked around cautiously to see if Spike was around. She had just woken up and hadn't seen him since the party. After running home when realizing how turned on he made her, she hid in her room under the covers and did a great job pretending to sleep even when she heard him come up the stairs to check on her. She remembered lying in bed with a painfully beating heart as Spike stood at the foot of her bed and watched her. The anticipation of his next move made her muscles clench and her entire body cease breath and movement. She half expected him to crawl into bed with her but instead he just stood there for two minutes and quietly made his way back down the stairs.

Shaking her thoughts away, she continued to look for Spike as she descended the stairs and found him lying on the couch asleep. His mouth was slightly agape and his arms were around a pillow, holding it close to him. He looked so sweet that she couldn't tear her eyes away. She stepped closer until she was directly in front of the couch, hovering above him, watching him sleep. Relaxed while watching him, her mind drifted away from her surroundings while her eyes were set on him only. She concentrated on each twitch his face made while he slept and every single movement of his body. Something was screaming at her to turn away but he was simply too mesmerizing to ignore.

When his eyes snapped open, Buffy gasped, jumped and backed into the coffee table. She couldn't hold her balance and ended up falling backward until she was sitting on the edge of the low wooden table.

"Uh sorry. I was just uh…" Buffy stumbled, embarrassed. "Um, did you want some morning bloo…….uh…..coffee…..morning coffee?" Her eyes widened, suddenly realizing that she had almost screwed up in front of the cameras by offering Spike some blood to drink.

Spike seemed to enjoy her little slip up way too much as he looked at her with a toothy grin that she didn't seem to notice. Keeping her head down the entire time, she wouldn't even look at him. He figured she was just embarrassed about the night before but he hated when things got too uncomfortable between them. It always seemed like it was so difficult for her to admit her feelings or to voice what was really on her mind. Sometimes it was easier when she was punching him in the face. Anger was one emotion that was simple for her to convey.

"Regular or decaf?" She asked with a bit of humor in her voice.

Spike smiled. "You know how I like it, luv." He stated with a bit of sexual undertone.

Buffy walked toward him, intently watching the mug in her hand as if she were afraid she would spill some but he knew it was only a distraction so she could continue to avoid making eye contact.

After handing him the mug, she sat down again on the edge of the coffee table and began fidgeting nervously. Spike brought the mug up to his mouth to take a sip but when he noticed her nervousness he stopped. Watching her, he smiled when he realized that she didn't even notice that he was staring. She seemed terrified of looking at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked abruptly.

Her head shot up and her eyes were wide. "What?"

He sensed her panic and rose from the couch to kneel before her. He grabbed her hand and after doing so she seemed to visibly relax.

"Buffy, come with me."

He rose to his feet and extended a hand for her to take. She looked confused for a moment but she took his hand anyway. He led her to the bathroom where they could talk alone and have some peace and privacy away from the intruding cameras.

They reached the bathroom, went inside and closed the door. Sighing, Spike rested his back against the door and closed his eyes, trying to figure out what to say to her.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Buffy. I know last night was just for show."

"I'm not embarrassed. I'm fine. Can I leave now?"

Spike took a step forward. "Don't tell me you're fine. Look at you. You can't even look me in the eye."

She raised her head and looked up at him in defiance. "I can so look at you. I just don't want to. Maybe I'm tried of hanging around you. You knew that this might happen when we started this little job for Giles. You knew we would probably get sick of each other."

"I'm not sick of you, Buffy. I love being around you."

"Stop it! Please!" Her voice was shaking.

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

"You! You are the problem! Having to see you every day! Having to kiss you and pretend that I care for you! That is the problem!"

Spike looked wounded. "You don't mean that." He said it but felt unsure of his words.

"Just leave me alone! Just stay away from me!" Buffy yelled and pushed her way past him and out of the bathroom.

Buffy stormed out the door leaving it open behind her. Staring after her retreating form, he violently slammed the door after she was no longer in his frame of vision. Sitting down on the edge of the bathtub, Spike ran his fingers through his hair, pulling it roughly as tears flooded his eyes. He whimpered as he began to cry and tugged harder on his platinum blond locks. Growling in frustration he searched for something to take his anger out on. As he stood up he caught a glimpse of the mirror and stared at it and its lack of reflection.

"You stupid sod!!" Spike yelled at the mirror, trying to imagine his face staring back at him. "I can't even see you! You're not even real! How can you ever expect her to love you when you're not even real! You dead disgusting bastard! Can't you see she deserves better than you!" He started choking through his tears as he spoke, getting more and more frustrated that he wasn't able to see the person that he was screaming at. He let out a loud roar and rammed his fist through the glass in the mirror, making the pieces shatter throughout the room.

Face down and gently crying into her pillow, Buffy thought about how much she must have hurt him by saying the things that she did. She felt awful but didn't know any other way to get him out of her mind and force him out of her heart. She shouldn't be feeling this type of emotion toward him and needed to do everything in her power to put a stop to it. After seeing Willow's reaction to her admission of attraction, she knew that it would be impossible to try and get her friends to understand her newfound feelings toward Spike. Being stuck in this house alone together and being forced to make out wasn't making the situation any easier.

The sound of shattered glass startled Buffy. She abruptly sat up and wiped the excess tears from her eyes. Making her way down stairs, she took a deep breath and got ready to face Spike. He was no where to be seen as she entered the living room so she assumed he must still be in the bathroom. When she reached the door she heard the sound of labored breathing coming from the other side.

"Spike?" She gently knocked on the door. Getting no answer she called out again. "Spike?"

"Go away!" His voice sounded strained.

"Spike what happened? Are you all right?"

"I said go away!"

Ignoring him, she turned the knob and began to enter the bathroom.

"Stop!" He yelled. "Don't go any further. I don't want you to step on any glass."

"What happened in here?" She asked, observing the broken mirror.

"Nothing. Just my overwhelming stupidity. Now get out of here before you cut yourself."

When she turned around to leave Spike let out a sigh of relief. He couldn't deal with her anymore right now. Just as those thoughts finished forming in his mind, Buffy returned with a broom and dust pan. Without saying a word, she quickly cleaned up the slivers of glass from the floor and left a second time to dispose of the debris. Much to his surprise, she had returned once again with a first aid kit.

"What's that for?"

Buffy rolled her eyes at the question and ventured her glance toward his bloody and cut up hands. Remaining silent, she sat down next to him, gently grabbed his hand and began to clean his cuts, making sure that none of the glass was stuck under his skin. As she bandaged his hand, Spike looked up at her and studied the concentration on her face. When she finished, she looked into his eyes and smiled sweetly, and suddenly all the anger he was feeling had disappeared and all he could see was the way she took care of him.

"Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?" Spike asked, eyebrow raised.

"Mood swing?" Buffy offered, making Spike chuckle. "Actually, it's a peace offering. I just wanted you to know that I don't hate you."

"Well, if you don't hate me does that mean that you might like me?" Spike waited for an answer.

Buffy rose to her feet and looked down at Spike who was still sitting on the floor. She sighed, "I haven't quite figured that one out yet." Instead of waiting for Spike to respond, she quickly made her way out the door.

Not bothering to get up, Spike leaned his back against the side of the tub. "Well, I guess that's something." He said solemnly, but then smiled.

Later that night, the gentle glow of the television set illuminated the faces of Buffy and Spike who were stretched out on the couch after another tiring day of pretending to be in love. Every day was getting more and more difficult for them both. The soft kisses that they had exchanged throughout the day made Buffy think back to the more passionate ones they had shared. During those same kisses Spike's heart started to break when he reminded himself that it wasn't real.

With her head resting on a pillow at the end of the sofa, Buffy's eyes began to drift shut . The movie they were watching was both romantic and very interesting but she was so comfortable that sleep started to beckon her. As she glanced down she saw the top of a platinum blonde head which was resting on her legs and his hand resting on her thigh. The amount of contentment she felt was almost frightening. This level of comfort didn't happen with just anyone. The idea that she had reached that level with Spike was utterly terrifying.

Her eyes shot open when she realized the romantic climax was happening within the movie they were currently viewing. The fictional on screen couple had just admitted their feelings for one another which lead to passionate kisses. Buffy felt a tightness in her chest watching the scene play out. She glanced down at Spike once again unable to see whether or not he was still awake. Her question was answered when his hand started to slide up her thigh.

Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that the rest of his body started to slide up as well. Moving gracefully until he was hovering above her, he stared into her eyes so hard that she thought he must have seen her soul. She began to wonder what he would find out about her if he could see her soul. Would he be able to see how she really felt about him? Part of her wished that he could. Maybe if an outside view could see what she was feeling, they might be able to tell her exactly what it was because at the moment, she had no clue. Was it hatred? Was it friendship? Was it lust? Could it be possible that it was something even deeper than that?

As Spike's face came closer to hers, her thoughts faded away. Her brain felt as if it had literally shut down and all that was left was how he made her feel inside. The thumping of her heart, the fluttering in her belly and the feel of his breath on her skin was all she needed to know at that moment. Keeping his lips toward hers without actually touching, he lingered there until Buffy thought she would burst in two. Finally giving in, she leaned up to capture his bottom lip making him groan. She knew how he loved it when she started a kiss out like that and his groan of pleasure simply confirmed it.

She opened her mouth so his tongue could mingle with hers. The taste of him was intoxicating. The feeling inside her was so intense that she could barely breathe. Running her hands down his body, she suddenly didn't care about the rules anymore. Her fingers glided over his rear and squeezed, causing him to gasp in surprise. Raising his head, he gave her an evil grin and she knew that he planned to exact his revenge on her. Now that she had crossed the line and broke the rules, there was no way he was going to pass up the opportunity to do the same.

Fingertips grazing across her side, Buffy shivered at his touch. His lips swept across her jaw line and down to her neck. He suckled at her sweet and sensitive skin, her hands clenched within his hair as he did so. Expecting to be stopped, his hands rose toward her breasts. Knowing he might be out of line, his hand stopped to rest on her ribs, too nervous to go any farther. Much to his surprise, she noticed his reluctance and helped him along by guiding his hand over her right breast. He lifted his head slightly to examine her as if to get further confirmation that what he was about to do was all right with her. Her head was back and her eyes were still closed. She was very much in the moment of their exploration of each other. Finally, he let her guide his hand to her breast which he cupped and squeezed causing her to groan and pant in excitement. Everything else immediately fell away and he no longer analyzed every move she made, just being with her like this was enough.

Moving away from her neck, he concentrated once again on kissing her. Their kisses became deep and fevered, bodies became more entwined. Buffy's hand glided under the back of Spike's shirt, softly caressing along his back and over his shoulder blades. Her hips lifted, grinding herself into him, their groans becoming more prominent until their mutual sounds of pleasure and the quick shallowness of their breathing was all that could be heard. His cool hands glided under her shirt and drifted across her stomach as his hardness ground into her making her moan so loudly that it instantly brought her out of the cloudy-headed lust she has been experiencing. Her eyes opened and she panicked as she looked over at the video camera in the corner and then at the clock.

"Oh my God!" She gasped quietly, pushing Spike off of her.

She jumped up off the couch and swiftly stood in front of the time glowing on the VCR.

"What's the matter?" Spike asked, sitting up.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing, just……..the cameras are off now……so I uh…..I guess we can stop and go to sleep." She swept the hair out of her eyes, her hands shaking with nervousness.

"Right then. I guess I'll just go out for a smoke before bed."

"Ok!" Buffy slapped her hands together. "Uh…..goodnight then."

Spike walked over to her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Night, Buffy."

Buffy smiled nervously. "Goodnight." She repeated.

Spike nodded solemnly and headed out the door, his cigarettes in hand.

Sighing loudly, she headed upstairs to get ready for bed.

As soon as she was out of sight, Spike headed back in to grab his lighter which he had forgotten on the coffee table. Bending over to pick it up, his eyes glanced at the clock. He squinted, making sure he was seeing the time correctly. To his surprise and delight it was 1:45 a.m., 45 minutes after the cameras had gone off. Knowing that she had willingly been making out with him for 45 minutes longer than they had to without even realizing it, put a song in his heart. With a large grin, he headed back outside, humming the whole way.

To Be Continued……

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Thanks from the bottom of my heart to Brat, ash, PhotographyNut, Breanna Storm, cordykitten, Sam, Dirktavian, Briana, willowmouse, Besjj, Vo6, Fallen_angel, GreenAppleSweety, Blondiebear, Bridget, Nicki, V4viper, Seraiza, Jane, Tananore, Laura Liz, A Lady Never Tells, Marta, Sara, Pam S, smg fan, ELLIE, Kalahara, Jeanie & chakal for all the amazing reviews.

I love hearing from all of you. Any comments and suggestions are appreciated. They get the wheels of my brain turning for future chapters. Thanks again and please keep the reviews coming!





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