[Reviews - 66]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 3810 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to TammyAsh666 spuffy, Lyndsy, cordykitten, Laura Liz, and margaret.
Yes, living free; living the single life. Relationships. Bah. Who can trust anything with a penis nowadays? I sure as hell don’t.

Excuse me for sounding so bitter. Traumatic experiences can do that to you. My traumatic experience comes in the form of one Parker Abrams. Seven long years ago, but the memories are forever fresh in my mind. When young, innocent, ignorant and virginal Elizabeth Summers first went to college, she met charming, lying, evil, piece of shit upper classmen Parker. Offered to show her around campus and was all buddy buddy and "look at me, I'm mister sensitive" and his carpe diem bullshit. Yeah, he fooled her alright. Got her to throw away the old chastity belt and open her dimpled knees. What a stupid bitch. But then if it wasn't for her, I, Buffy, wouldn't be here today.

He stuck around for a couple of months, well two and a half to be exact. After he'd had his wicked way, he decided that he was bored and had thoroughly broken her in. Well, he did have a point. Elizabeth was so certain that they were in love and surely he wouldn't leave her? I mean, they were gonna get married and everything, right? Wrong, wrong, wrong! He broke up with her all the while with an infuriating smile on his lips and talking of how fun it was. She came to find out that the entire time he was two timing her anyway. That lousy, son of a bitch! He had made a fool of her in front of everyone. Then, something inside of the normally good natured Elizabeth had changed...

First the hair went. I hacked off the long golden locks so that it barely came past my jaw. I dyed it from honey brown to a nice Californian blond. Then, I thought long and hard about my next actions, and decided it was for the best. Late one night, I found his "precious baby," his 1952 Jaguar roadster. Custom colored. First, the potato up the tail pipe, then a little slash and dash to all four tires, then she carved "Fuck You Bitch" on the hood, and then two pounds of sugar into the gas tank. Nobody saw me. Though god knows he tried to blame me for it. He came the very next day to my dorm room shouting and cursing my name.

"Elizabeth!! Open this door now!! Open up, you bitch!" I opened the door wide and openly glared at him and said with as much venom as I could muster, "Elizabeth doesn't live here anymore, you selfish fuck!" and promptly slammed the door in his face. That day, Buffy was born. I never felt so free in my life! God, it was liberating.

Ever since then, I said no more to serious relationships. I learned that from my girl Faith. Fabulous lady, she is. If I see a guy I like, I might screw him, but not before he goes down on me. Only if he's really good I'll actually have sex with him, and that’s usually next to never. No one’s ever been that good. And of course, I'll never go down on them. They bow before me, never the other way around. But then Faith had to go screw everything up and get into a real relationship. Some tall, chocolately goodness named Robin Wood (very fitting, well according to Faith). That just left me and Cordy. Lilah had been out of the game for a while now. She was all nesley with Wesley. Not like I care. As far as I'm concerned, all guys are pricks. Hell, even my dad is a selfish bastard. No matter. I always get what I want.

******

"You're actually throwing Wes a party this time? Geeze, what happened to his usual 'kinky sex fest' present? Run out of ideas?" Buffy asked.

"No, that comes later. And you should know by now that our life together is nothing but a sex fest. Especially in the board meeting rooms when everyone else goes home at night." Lilah said with a sly grin.

"Eww! Can we say too much information? Just glad I don't have to work there." Cordelia said.

"Yea, like it matters. You have ridden in the back seat of Lilah's car, haven't you? I'm sure those special blue police lights could find plenty of happy juice back there." Faith said. They were having their weekly get together at a restaurant called Chi Tung, gorging themselves on sushi.

"Anyway, Faith... Ladies, you are all invited, and those of you who are single, please do not bring a date. There will be very much available salty goodness to go around." Lilah said.

"Is that right? What makes you think Cordy and I, since we are the only two available ladies sitting here, would be interested in the least?" Buffy said quizzically.

"Well, think of it this way: you won't be tied down for the evening and also by not having a date, you can keep your options open. Believe when I say it is well worth it." Lilah said.

"Whatever. Couldn't hurt to have a little fun, right? I mean, it's not like I have any real plans for... when is it?" Cordelia asked.

"Next weekend. Since his birthday is the Tuesday after that, I thought it would be best to not have it on a working day. I mean, for those of us who actually work." Lilah said, looking pointedly at Buffy.

"Hey, just cause my dad still gives me a hefty allowance, don't be all bitchy to me." Buffy said.

"Yea, well, just please bring your gracious self okay? And please, no scandals. So Faith in layman's terms, that means to not hump Robin anywhere in or around my house. Got it?" Lilah said.

"Well you know, it kinda takes the thrill out of it if you expect it coming. Hell, who am I kiddin’? It’s always a thrill with Robin." Faith retorted.

"So, who are the hotties? And don't play games, Lilah. You better not be trying to dump some ugly and or dorky losers on us." Cordelia said.

"No, they're pretty hot. Subject numero uno- Angel. He's tall dark and handsome to a T. The other, is Spike."

"Spike? What, is the name compensating for something or what?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"How would I know? But I'm thinking no. He's English, and he's got some sort of punk rock meets Goth kind of style. But he pulls it off in a very hot and sexy way."

"So if they're such great catches, why the hell are they single?" Faith asked.

"Could say the same for our two best friends here." Lilah said.

"Hey, Cordelia and I choose to be alone." Buffy said vehemently.

"Yeah right! It's just that every guy I come across don't really interest me. Either intellectually lacking or sexually lacking. Sometimes both. Trust when I say being alone is the only real alternative." Cordy said in a huff.

"Well, maybe next Saturday will be your lucky day." Lilah said. In truth, she was hoping they both wouldn't run off screaming when they heard that both eligible bachelors had kids. Work, work, work. All my life in one way or another. She thought. But, it was for Wes. If it made him happy, she would gladly do it.

********

"Now what's this you're prattling on about?" Spike said as he lit a cigarette.

"I said birthday party. What part didn't you understand?" Wes said, very much irritated. He came to Spike's home personally to inform him of the gathering. He had his own key and let himself in that Friday at eight p.m. Big mistake. Evidently, Spike was entertaining some leggy red head. Dawn was at a friend's house. Being very much put out, Spike told the red head very bluntly to leave. He then decided to blame his hormonal frustrations on Wes. As if it was his fault Spike didn't get laid. He didn't tell the bird to leave. He did. Wanker.

"Hey, no need to get snippy now. Want a drink?" He said, heading towards the kitchen, clad only in his jeans.

"Sure. Why not."

"What you want?"

"Whatever you're having is fine." He said as he followed him.

"Some Jack it is, then. So a party, eh? What happened to you and Lilah's lil' S&M session?" Wes immediately turned red at the insinuation.

"I'll have you know that-" Spike's chuckling cut him off.

"Calm down, mate. Only rufflin' your feathers. I don't haveta bring a present, do I?"

"No Spike, of course not." Wes said dryly.

"Oh, come on, you know me better than that surely? Course I'll get you something. Whaddya want? Red, blonde, brunette- oh, already got one of those." Spike said smirking at him. Any outsider would think that they didn't like each other. But it was nothing more than friendly banter between two "brothers." Wesley laughed quietly at the thought.

"You know, Lilah would have your stones on a platter if she heard you talking to me getting another woman. One night stand or no."

"Yeah, then she'd come along and Lorraina Bobbin your crown jewels right after." Spike said. Wes nodded in agreement, resisting the temptation to pat his “boys” reassuringly.

"So I gather you're coming then?"

"Sure, but you do realize you're gonna have to invite the old man also, right?"

"Giles? Surely you can't-"

"Now, now. You know he's going through these changes. Bloke'll feel all left out if you don't invite 'im. Besides, more gifts for you, right?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure he'll fit in fine. He and Anya will be fine." Wes said not at all too surely.





You must login (register) to review.