Mediator by Pari

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Why I’m Glad Buffy is Dating William the Bloody

The day that Buffy came into the Magic Box holding hands with Spike and finally announcing they were together was probably the worst day of my life. It was devastating to both Anya and I. Mostly to her because we weren’t having sex as we usually would have.

I tried everything I could possibly think of to convince Buffy that Spike was not good for her. I figured at least I would have Willow to support me on the hate Spike mission since well, he had previously tried to kill her. Instead she tells me that the two of them are truly happy and I should be happy for them also.

“Buffy he’s a monster!” I yelled at her trying to convince her that she and he would never work out.

“Xander, Spike and I are happy together and I wish you were happy for us,” she told me with a finality that scared me a bit.

Anya still upset about the fact I wasn’t giving her enough orgasms finally had it with me and tried to help telling me to ‘reason’ with Buffy rather than just yell at her on why she and Spike shouldn’t be dating. So in response I decided to write down a list of the reasons why I didn’t like Spike and why they shouldn’t be dating in which I would give to her.


Why Buffy and Spike Shouldn’t Date

1. He has stupid hair that must be done more often than a girl.
2. He is overly cocky.
3. He’s a murderer.
4. He smokes.
5. He’s a vampire.

Handing it to Buffy she gave not quite the reaction I expected. I was trying to help her to see reason and instead she tears the paper up and refuses to speak to me, instead giving me the cold shoulder and complaining about me to Willow who relayed most messages.

Anya told me to create a list of the good reasons they were dating in order for me to cope. She told me it would help and that I could take out my list and read it every time seeing Buffy and Spike together made me upset. So I followed her instructions and created that list and I can honestly say that the list did make me feel better in fact.

Every hug, kiss, and hand holding moment I would take out a crumpled piece of paper I carried around in my right pocket and read the list.


Why I’m Glad Buffy is Dating William the Bloody

1. Because of his chip, Spike won’t be able to help all the time and Buffy may break up with him, making her realize she needs someone she can rely on all the time.
2. We can make fun of Spike in fun new ways and there’s nothing he can do about it, in order to stay in Buffy’s good graces.
3. He’ll have to make a fool of himself on Valentines Day like all other men out in the world.
4. Eventually, they’ll break up.
5. Can’t think of a fifth, but eventually I may put something here.

-----


The Initiative was a large problem we were facing since it seemed as Spike described they were human and we had never gone against anything involving the government before. Because of his chip especially, Spike was a problem for us since the Initiative was after him since he had escaped and unfortunately Spike couldn’t defend himself against them since they were human after all.

It having been my turn to Spike sit did not exactly make me a happy camper. Not only had the girls gone off leaving me with Spike, Giles had company over meaning it was only Spike and I in my parent’s basement.

“Go ‘head Harris stake me why don’t you?” Spike asked calmly with a smirk.

“You wish dead boy,” I told him wanting to grab a pointy piece of wood and shove it through his heart, stopping myself knowing how much he meant to Buffy therefore knowing I could never truly hurt him.

Later, as Spike led us to the Initiative base I took my list out from my pocket and crossed out the first reason why I was glad Spike and Buffy were dating.


Why I’m Glad Buffy is Dating William the Bloody

1. Because of his chip, Spike won’t be able to help all the time and Buffy may break up with him, making her realize she needs someone she can rely on all the time.
2. We can make fun of Spike in fun new ways and there’s nothing he can do about it, in order to stay in Buffy’s good graces.
3. He’ll have to make a fool of himself on Valentines Day like all other men out in the world.
4. Eventually, they’ll break up.
5. Can’t think of a fifth, but eventually I may put something here.

Apparently, even though chipped Spike was still able to help us out even though he was useless when it came to the fighting part.

-----


We were at some college frat party that Willow and Buffy had suggested we go to since we had grown out of our Bronzing days. Upon entrance I was surprised to see some familiar faces who I worked with at the construction site. We exchanged greetings and I looked over to Willow noticing her with Tara and Anya while Buffy and Spike were off together dancing or what was supposed to be dancing but looked more like having sex with their clothes off.

I reached into my pocket and clutched the piece of paper that often offered me comfort. I suddenly smiled at Riley, a co-worker and told him to wait a moment so I could introduce him to a friend.

I scanned the crowd for Buffy noticing Spike wasn’t with her and smiled to myself happy for the fact. I grabbed her telling her I wanted her to meet someone I worked with and she smiled, following me.

“Buffy this is Riley, Riley this is Buffy,” I said making introductions, crossing my fingers behind my back.

I watched in awe as Riley flirted with Buffy and she was oblivious to it although from across the room I could tell Spike was not. Although Buffy and Riley were talking and sharing hobbies, Spike came up grabbing Buffy by her upper arm and dragged her off.

“Xander honestly just leave them alone,” Willow said in a motherly fashion shaking her head at me and I looked at her wide eyed hoping she’d think I was innocent. I quickly looked around and smiled as I noticed Spike and Buffy fighting, although I immediately began frowning as I noticed how they suddenly began kissing and they soon left off to do things I’d rather not think about.


Why I’m Glad Buffy is Dating William the Bloody

1. Because of his chip, Spike won’t be able to help all the time and Buffy may break up with him, making her realize she needs someone she can rely on all the time.
2. We can make fun of Spike in fun new ways and there’s nothing he can do about it, in order to stay in Buffy’s good graces.
3. He’ll have to make a fool of himself on Valentines Day like all other men out in the world.
4. Eventually, they’ll break up.
5. Can’t think of a fifth, but eventually I may put something here.

-----


February 14, the day men run and hide their wallets and cringe at the calendar realizing they’d have to make a complete fool of themselves since women usually expected a lot of flowers, candy, and all the thrills.

I myself had gotten Anya a large box of chocolates along with a few nice pieces of lingerie I had no doubt I wouldn’t enjoy myself. She had even decorated the Magic Box with pink and red themes along with putting out love potions and Valentines Day related items to promote the holiday.

I myself even felt in the spirit of love excited to see what Spike had done for Buffy, figuring he’d most likely forgotten about what day it even was considering he’d been alive for over 120 years. I’m certain when you’re that old, you just don’t keep track of the days like you used to.

Imagine my surprise to see Buffy enter the Magic Box where we were, searching for information on some or another horned demon supposedly bringing on an apocalypse. She looked glowing almost and had this dazed look in her eyes.

Willow looked at her expectantly wondering what she was so happy about before she squealed and exclaimed how Spike had wrote her a poem and exclaimed it. Now being a manly man, I certainly didn’t know what it was but I wanted to know so I could use it and not have to worry about buying expensive gifts.

“Oh Buffy I’m so happy for you,” Willow said with a smile hugging Buffy and I looked at Giles with confused eyes and he looked back at me looking quite clueless himself.

“It?” I asked aloud hoping one of the girls would explain.

“He told me he loved me!” Buffy exclaimed, the happiest I’ve ever seen her.

-----


I held onto number four, it had always been my favorite. When the other had provided me humor, number four had been real. I figured eventually they would break up and it would be some sick joke all on me.

Instead I sat in the front row watching as Buffy and William the Bloody announced their devotion and love to one another. While it wasn’t a true marriage by law, it was enough of a marriage for them and in the moonlight I could barely make out Spike’s fang marks on her neck.

Claimed.

They had claimed one another announcing they loved each other and would be together forever. They said their love was something special and clutching my piece of paper I usually kept in my right pocket I sighed knowing that it was no longer helpful. I pulled the list out and Anya looked at me and looked at the list in surprise as if she was surprised I still had it.

Pulling out a pen I crossed out the number five I had and rewrote it figuring I would give it to them as a wedding gift.


Why I’m Glad Buffy is Dating William the Bloody

1. Because of his chip, Spike won’t be able to help all the time and Buffy may break up with him, making her realize she needs someone she can rely on all the time.
2. We can make fun of Spike in fun new ways and there’s nothing he can do about it, in order to stay in Buffy’s good graces.
3. He’ll have to make a fool of himself on Valentines Day like all other men out in the world.
4. Eventually, they’ll break up.
5. Because they love each other.



THE ORIGINAL STORY:
http://fanfiction.portkey.org/story/3932


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