Chapter 3 -- Mistakes involving Rent
The music started up and all the remaining contestants walked out onto the stage to begin their group number.
(Connor)
You make fun - yet I'm the one
Attempting, to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your
Stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta,
Bohemia is dead
*Everyone except Harmony and Angel looks at each other and briefly nods*
(Doyle)
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
Here she lies, no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we
Celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass - you bet your ass to -
La vie Boheme
(ALL)
La vie Boheme
*Gunn trips Harmony. Harmony trips down the steps. Doyle helps her up. Harmony is pissed off and brushes him off*
(Doyle)
To days of inspiration
Playing hooky, making
Something out of nothing
The need to express-
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane, going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old Mom and Dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three-piece suits
To fruits - to no absolutes-
To Absolute - to choice-
To the Village Voice-
To any passing fad
To being an us for once ... instead of a them!!
(ALL)
La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme
(Angel)
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
(Wes)
Eww
(Gunn)
It tastes the same
(Cordelia)
If you close your eyes
(Angel)
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
(ALL)
Wine and beer!
*Cordelia slightly pushes Harmony causing her mic to move away from her mouth*
Made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
*Harmony trips over Cordelia’s foot then runs into Gunn*
(Buffy & Gunn)
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
(Doyle)
Mucho masturbation
(Buffy & Gunn)
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
(Gunn)
To Sontag
(Harmony)
To Sondheim
*Harmony trips over Cordelia’s foot, then ran into Gunn.*
(Buffy)
To the stage
(All)
To Uta. To Buddha. Pablo Neruda, too.
(Doyle & Cordelia)
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
(Doyle, Harmony & Cordelia)
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
(ALL)
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, BBC
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
(Gunn)
To marijuana
*Buffy pushes her arm into Harmony and then stands in front of her*
(Wes)
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage
(Cordelia)
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
(Wes)
I should tell you
(Cordelia)
I got baggage too
(Wes)
I should tell you
(Wes & Cordelia)
Baggage
*Everyone runs in front of Harmony as she falls to the ground*
(ALL)
Wine and beer!
Everyone leaves the stage.
“Well that was amazing guys. Harmony, I hope you straighten up tonight.”
Meanwhile, backstage Harmony was furious. “What the hell is wrong with you people!!” she screamed.
Everyone looked at her incredulously. Cordelia stepped up, “What do you mean, Harmony?”
“You people are trying to destroy me! You were tripping me over and everything,” she whined.
“Harm, you’re delusional,” Cordelia looked at her then walked away.
“No,” Harmony walked to the rest of the group while grabbing Cordelia on the way. “I want to know what you guys are doing this for. Is it because I’m good competition?”
Wesley laughed and said, “Hardly.”
“And we didn’t try to destroy your act. Maybe you just have 2 left feet,” Buffy said.
Harmony got frustrated and walked away.
“What the hell is her problem?” Angel asked.
“I dunno, Angel. Maybe you should go check,” Doyle suggested.
“Maybe I will.” Angel looked at everyone, than walked away.
Buffy smiled as everyone started to quietly laugh and tell each other ‘good job’.
“Okay, Buffy. So plan A is done. So we start plan B now?” Connor asked.
“Well, Harmony goes on after Doyle tonight and I’m on after her. Okay. If we want this to work we have to do it fast. If Doyle’s on first tonight then that gives us a bit of time. So Cordy and Anya, I need you guys to distract the guy securing the sound room. While you guys do that, Gunn and Connor, I need you guys to run inside the sound truck. Since there are only two people in there, you guys can get them out pretty easy. Tell them a camera man wants to see them. As soon as
they’re out lock the door and start playing with buttons and gears. Make sure you put the gears and stuff back to their normal level.”
“Oh that sounds like fun.” Connor said.
“But make sure that Doyle is off stage first,” Buffy said. “Then as Harmony is finishing her final notes you guys haul ass and get out of there.”
“But won’t the sound guys be back before then? I mean, they’ll hear it out on stage,” Wesley asked.
“Yes. And that’s where you, me, and Doyle come in. We are gonna show that our talent isn’t only singing. We have to distract the sound guys so they don’t get to the truck,” Buffy explained.
“What about me, Buffy?” Fred asked.
“You have to watch Harmony perform and look out for security. If they start coming your way you gotta run as fast as possible and tell Cordelia; then Cordelia you get Anya and go get Gunn and Connor out of the sound truck,” Buffy said.
“Okay, so summarize this...” Gunn said.
“Okay. Cordy and Anya are distracting the guard. Gunn and Connor are going into the truck and getting the sound guys out and Wes, Doyle, and I are going to distract the sound guys from coming back. Fred is going
to stand backstage and see if security is on their way back. If they are then Fred will send the signal to Cordelia who tells Gunn to get out.” Buffy re-explained. “Everyone clear?”
“Wait. Do we have walkie talkies or something?” Wes asked.
“Nope, this is all done by running,” Buffy answered with a slight smile.
“But I failed gym,” Connor said.
“It’s alright, Connor. I’m sure you’ll manage,” Anya patted his back.
“So is everyone okay now?”
Everyone nodded and got to their positions as Doyle was getting called out. As Doyle left for the stage, Fred walked over to Buffy. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Buffy looked at Fred. “I’m not sure if I do, but I hope it works,” Buffy smiled.
Chapter 4 -- Plan B for Busted
Out by the sound truck Cordelia fixed her makeup. “Are you ready Anya?”
“Define ready?” Anya looked at her. Cordelia just laughed and started to walk over to the security guard. “Hey.”
The guard looked at her and smiled. “Hey.”
“Um, I was wondering if you could help me and my…sister out. Anya come here.”
Anya decided to act dumb and walked over while twirling her hair. “Um, hi.”
The guard was intrigued. “So what can I help you ladies with?”
“Well my sister has um…Animal Fever.” Cordelia prayed that the guard believed her.
“Animal Fever? I’ve never heard of it.” The guard looked at Cordelia then Anya.
Anya looked at Cordelia, who had a worried look on her face. Then she started barking. Cordelia looked at Anya in shock. The guard jumped a bit and moved back.
Cordelia finally got what Anya was doing, “Oh, yeah...um…down Anya down!” Anya started mooing like a cow while jumping like a kangaroo.
“What the hell is she on?”’ the guard asked as Cordelia was trying to control Anya, who was still jumping up and down, but this time she was making monkey noises.
“She’s not on anything. I told you, it’s Animal Fever.” Cordelia explained. Then Anya broke away from Cordelia and started to run.
“Oh my gosh, Anya come back! Please help me.” Cordelia looked at the guard.
“Fine I’ll help,” he said as he started to run with Cordelia not too far behind him.
Connor and Gunn were hiding in the bushes as the girls and the security guard ran off.
“Okay let’s go,” Connor said as they started running to the sound truck. Gunn knocked on the door. One of the sound people came out of the truck.
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah. Um, Lenny the camera guy asked for you.”
“Oh okay…wait. Why did he send contestants?” the sound guy asked.
“He couldn’t get you on the walkie,” Gunn said.
“Oh, okay. Um, well can you watch my truck? My partner isn’t here today.”
Gunn looked at Connor and said, “Sure.”
“Thanks,” the sound guy ran into the studio as Connor and Gunn ran into the truck and locked the door. Gunn looked at the monitor. “Okay, Doyle just got off stage.”
“Okay,” Connor started looking at the buttons. “Let’s start pressing buttons.”
Inside, Buffy and Wes saw Doyle come off stage and saw the sound guy run by.
“Well something’s going right,” Buffy said as she looked at Wesley.
“Good.” Wes smiled.
Out on stage, Harmony was getting ready to start singing. Fred was watching Harmony and watching security also. Harmony started singing:
Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you’ll never know me
Every day, is as if I play apart
Now I see
*Mic goes high pitched so that Harmony sounds like a mouse*
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I can not fool
My heart
*Mic gets deepened and Harmony starts looking around nervously*
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
I am now
*Mic goes back to normal and Harmony smiles*
In a world where I have to
Hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
*Pitch goes from high to low*
And be loved for who I am
Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don’t know?
Must I pretend that I’m
someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
There’s a heart that must
*Pitch is back to normal and Harmony starts yelling into the mic*
Be free to fly
That burns with a need
To know the reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I’m forced to hide?
*Pitch goes wavy*
I won’t pretend that I’m
Someone else
For all time
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
*Harmony screams as the mic goes back to normal*
When will my reflections show
Who I am inside?
The audience was silent.
“Um... well that was…Xander what did you think?” Jenny asked.
“Well. Harmony…I know I might be a little Spike-ish on this, but—“
“It was bloody horrible and I guarantee you’ll be out this week?” Spike responded. “Yeah, that’s something I would say.”
“Right, what he said,” Xander said.
“Well, I’m sure America agrees. Tara what did you think?” Jenny asked
“Well…it was a noble effort.” Tara smiled at Harmony.
“That wasn’t me.” Harmony yelled into Jenny’s mic. “Something was wrong with the microphone.” Harmony whined
“Yeah that’s what they all say my dear thank you.” Jenny pushed Harmony to the back of the stage and smiled at the audience.
Meanwhile, Buffy, Wes and Doyle were talking to the sound guy.
“Look, I really gotta get back to my truck,” the guy complained.
“Well, seriously. Who do you think is going to win?” Buffy put her hands on her hips.
“I don’t know—“
Fred cut off the sound guy. “Stop playing with the guy. Buffy you need to get out on stage.” Fred gave the blonde a brief smile.
“What about the guys?” Buffy asked as she gave her knowing look.
“They’re fine,” Fred said. “So you might want to hurry up.”
“Right” Buffy ran away as Gunn, Anya, Cordelia, and Connor walked up.
“She did it,” Doyle said.
“Yeah, she did. Let’s just hope it pays off.” Cordelia said as they all turned to look at Buffy who was going out on stage.
“It probably won’t” Anya said as everyone looked at her. “What it’s true.”
“Way to be optimistic” Wesley stated dully
“Gunn, did you put the mic back to normal?” Fred asked as she looked at him.
Gunn looked at Connor. “Oops,” they both said.
They all started running to the sound truck as an unsuspecting Buffy was called to the stage.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm alittle scared now. I asked my friend to put in chapter two (never make that mistake again) and she put some stuff in the author's note that was very rude to my last beta. I was really upset with her. I read my reviews and figured out what happened , so here's what really happened with my beta. She beta'd my work and I think she got sick or she wasn't feeling well and it was out of her schedule which i understood so she beta'd my final chapters and we stopped talking. That's it. My personal apologies to anon. Hopefully she still likes me. I hate conflict. anyway here's chapter chapter 3.