Author's Chapter Notes:
I know it's been a long time since I updated, and for that I apologize. RL has been a little less than chaotic but I made myself and you guys a promise that I would finish this fic, so it will be so, lol.

Big thanks to my bestest for the inspiration and push I needed to finish this chapter. :)

I also haven't slept in days and I'm a little rushed since I have class in like 3 hours, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes. :P
Buffy's brow furrowed in confusion. William's words were clear yet the meaning of them didn't seem to register in her mind. That is, until she looked down.

'Marriage? Is that what he's saying?' She thought. 'What does this mean?... Did you really lie to him?'

Her eyes snapped from the diamond engagement ring back up to his face. A look of disbelief on her face.

"William." She murmured, her eyes starting to fill with tears even as he smiled reassuringly.

'That's all he is, isn't he, Buffy? All smiles and blue eyes. A good man and you...'

"I can't," Buffy whispered standing up, "I can't."








William blinked, confused as to what had happened. One minute he was smiling at Buffy asking her to be his wife... again, the next he was watching her run out the restaurant - at an incredible speed, he had to notice, for a pregnant woman - a litany of 'I can't's' falling from her lips.

After a few moments Spike shook his head, reacting and clearing his head up a bit. Standing up, he took a few bills from his wallet, dropping them on the table before quickly making his way out of the restaurant after his wife. Ignoring the looks of sympathy the other patrons in the restaurant were giving him.

"Buffy?" He called out as soon as he stepped outside. He frowned slightly at the weather noticing how cool and damp the night had become in just the time they had their dinner. "Buffy?!" He called a bit louder. Looking around when she didn't answer.

William's brow furrowed, heart pounding, starting to worry. He turned to walk towards the car hoping she had gone there but a soft whimper stopped him before he could take a step. He turned again, in the other direction and started walking toward the small alley entrance at the side of the restaurant, finding his wife there.








Buffy turned to look at William, leaning against the wall, her hand at her stomach, as he stepped into the alley, not even bothering to wipe at the tears falling from her eyes.

"Buffy, what's wrong?" He asked taking a step towards her, stopping when she took a few steps back. Away from him, he noticed.

'Yeah, Buffy,' she thought sarcastically, 'tell him what's wrong. Tell him how you've lied to him all this time, making him believe something that wasn't true just so you wouldn't have to be alone again.'

Shaking her head, Buffy took a few more steps away from him.

"I can't, William." She whispered as more tears fell from her eyes, breaking his heart.

"Can't what, Buffy?" He asked, more confused than before. "Can't... marry me?" He tried. "We already are, sweetheart." He said trying to placate her.

Spike took a chance and made his way closer to her, stopping once more when she held her hand out to stop his progress.

"Buffy? Look at me, blossom," he said wanting to make some form of connection with her. Get her to start communicating her needs to him. "Look at me," he demanded when she refused, frustrated about not being able to reach her. The pain in her eyes, when she met his own, almost knocked him off his feet.

"What's going on?" He asked her, knowing there was something she was keeping from him. He could tell from the look in her eyes. Could tell that it was hurting her, immensely, but he didn't know what it was. "What is it?"

"I can't." She echoed making him feel lost, confused, as to what exactly she couldn't do.

"Buffy?" He said, voice shaking, tears starting to form in his own eyes. Fear slowly overtaking him.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "Oh William, I'm so sorry. It's not... yours." She sighed, "I'm sorry. I can't."

"Not mine?" He asked, confused, eyes closing and shaking his head. "What's not...?" He looked back at her and froze.

Spike stood there watching as her tears paused, all of them gathering in her eyes, unable to fall as she stared into his blue eyes.

And suddenly, he understood.

"The baby." He whispered, feeling his heart shatter as she looked away, hiding the guilt in her eyes. Being able to finally see the guilt in her eyes.

Time seemed to stop for almost an eternity before he could form thoughts. Form words.

"How could you?" Spike asked. He could hear the anger in his voice even though numbness washed over him. "How could you?" He snarled, backing away as she walked towards him. Watching with dispassion as she tripped and fell to the dirty ground.

"I'm sorry," Buffy whimpered, tears falling freely now. "William, please..."

"You lied to me!" Spike interrupted, ignoring the looks they were getting from everyone passing by. Too consumed by hurt to care that they were making a scene. "I can't even look at you right now," he said turning away from her, shaking his head before taking a step and walking away.

"William!" Buffy called, trying once more to reach him, yet not being able to blame him for walking away from her. Leaving her in the dirty back alley like the piece of trash she was.








Staring down at his feet, Spike continued to walk, passing by his car and avoiding every person walking past him, already missing the slight buzz he had gotten at dinner due to the wine and wishing for nothing more than a good bottle of whiskey. Something strong to slide down his throat and burn away the numbness and hurt and anger he figured he would soon feel due to her deceit.








'How could you?' Buffy asked herself, finally gathering enough strength to pick herself up after long moments. Wiping at her eyes, Buffy walked out of the alley and down the street in the opposite direction that her husband had gone, ignoring the people asking if she was okay.

'I have to get home,' She thought before realizing she didn’t have a home to go to. 'You fucked that up, didn't you Buffy? Fucked it up when you hurt your home. When you hurt William.'





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