I kept walking away from the door. I eventually found myself in my room. I fell onto the bed, pulled my knees up to my chest, and cried.
I don’t cry very much anymore. Seems that after everything, my tears have dried. Dawn’s death, my friends’ abandonment, my father’s abandonment, my rape…
There is nothing as horrible as being raped. Your security is just ripped away. I was helpless, something I vowed never to happen again.
But now my secret is out. Spike knows now. Wonder if it will be around the school by lunch?
I try to pull my knees closer, trying to collapse into myself. Trying to squeeze away the pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am going to find out who did this. I don’t care what I have to do to know. I am going to find him, and make him wish he were dead.
The weekend was boring. I went to work, did my homework, and went to sleep. Repeat.
It’s Monday again, everyone’s favourite day.
As you can see, my pain turned into anger. The way it normally does now.
It’s lunch now. This is the time were I usually get most of my information. Every possible suspect is here - or at least someone with some info is.
So as a rule, people that hate you aren’t that helpful. There were about a hundred people at Cordelia’s party. Ninety-eight of them would walk over my corpse for free gum. My resources are limited, but I do have a few people I can beat information out of.
Parker Abrams. I’m going alphabetically today. He’s sitting three tables over, at the elite table. He doesn’t have an actually seat, hasn’t worked his way up to that standing yet, but he has a nice stone ledge to sit on. Luckily for me, it is far enough from the group that I can avoid everyone else.
I walk up behind him, holding my messenger bag to the side tightly, securing my grasp for my tazer.
“Parker - you’ve probably already know what I’m here to talk to you about, unless they are actually keeping you out of the loop just because of that haircut.”
He whips around, glaring at me, “Whoa - Summers. You are really getting good at the sneaking around thing.”
“I know right? Well, anyway - I haven’t seen you since how long? Hmm…how many days has it been from Cordelia’s party?”
“You are the nerd…”
“Right…and you are the moron - they should totally make a TV show called that.”
“But who would play you? I think Hollywood is running low on whore nerds.”
“Ah yes, we are hard to find - usually running away from assholes like you. But anyway, not that this little chat isn’t fun - but seriously did you enjoy Cordelia’s party?”
“Oh ya - that was alright. I mean, it was pretty long ago. Did you have fun? It sure looked like you did.”
“The details are a little fuzzy - care to share your memories. Perhaps we could have like a memory moment or something.”
“Well you were rubbing yourself up against anything that moved…even some things that didn’t…”
“See, I slightly remember - with the help of a video - of being unable to move really…”
“That was much later into the night.”
“Oh? Then I heard you carried me into the pool house. Is that true?”
“Well ya - Riley said we should move you. So I carried you in there. I just set you down on the bed…”
“Why do I get the feeling that there is something you are not telling me?”
“Well, Riley kind of suggested that we um…take advantage of your situation…”
“And did you?” I unconsciously pull my arms in front of my body.
“NO! Seriously, Riley left me in the room and I couldn’t do it. I mean I had thought of it - but I knew you would find out or something.”
“That’s the only thing that stopped you from raping me? That I might find out?”
“Well ya…”
“You disgust me. But what happen after Riley left?”
“I ran out of the room. But seriously, I didn’t touch you. I was at the other side of the house in minutes.”
“Okay - but thanks for leaving me there.” I punch him in the shoulder and walk away.
I walk towards the library. Not looking back, I know Parker is probably still looking at me. Do I believe him? I’m not sure.
He is the scum of the earth and I hate him - but is his story true? Guess I gotta go find Riley again. I shudder.
I turn into the hallway that has my locker. I’m not really paying attention, I just keep playing Parker’s story repeatedly in my head. I keep walking down the hallway, but I stop suddenly. He’s right there, in front of me. Spike.
My breath stops in my throat - please don’t say anything. Please don’t approach me. I meet his eyes, and they have the same expression they did last night. But now they seem to have more sadness in them.
I guess we must look silly. Like we are having a Mexican Standoff of something. But he’s the first to move. Someone calls him name and it breaks him from his reverie. He turns to give me one last look, but I’m gone.
At least that is what I imagined happened. Perhaps he didn’t look back. Perhaps he just ran down the hall. Perhaps he started to cry. I will never know. Because I was too afraid of what would happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I approached the football field with a heavy heart. Why couldn’t I just shove Spike to the back of my mind?
I spot Riley on the field. He doesn’t seem like he is leaving it anytime soon. I look up at the bleachers, scouting the people. There is only one person sitting. Amy. Hmm…well, this will be interesting.
I climb up the seats towards Amy. She looks at my in confusion and repulsion - I see nothing has changed.
“So Amy, haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Not since you killed your sister,” she spats back at me.
“Oh ok then, well I guess this won’t be as easy as I thought it would be.”
“What would?”
“Well I was going to see if I could get some information out of you - perhaps a sarcastic comment here and there - but no - if you want to be tough then fine.”
I take a seat next to her. She looks around the bleachers, making sure no one can see us.
“I really don’t want to talk to you Summers.”
“Ya, well this isn’t my perfect idea either - but your boyfriend is busy right now - so let’s see what you have to say.”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“Now, you didn’t even let me ask a question. What do you remember about Cordelia Chase’s party?”
“That everyone was there. Even you. Don’t even know how they let you in…”
“Oh so you saw me?”
“Who didn’t? You were dancing with every one in the room - sometimes doing more than just dancing.”
“Was I now? Who was I ‘dancing’ with?”
“Everyone - Parker, Scott, Ben…Riley,” she says the last name with a bitterness in her voice.
“Riley?”
“Ya you were making out with him in front of everyone. You just clung onto him - I think I barfed a little.”
“Okay - ew. Riley? Why him?” I say this mostly to myself but Amy looks at me in hatred.
“You always had to mess up my life didn’t you - you always wanted everything. Seeing you kissing him - I hated you more than I thought possible,” Amy confessed, staring directly at me.
I had an epiphany, “You were the one who wrote ‘SLUT’ on my car in red lipstick.”
“Took you long enough.”
“Why did you write that?”
“Because ‘WHORE’ had too many letters. I saw you with Riley - going into the room.”
“What room?” I ask angrily.
“The pool house - Parker was carrying you. But Riley led the way… Riley came out quickly though - he found me and got me a drink. Said it was nothing. ”
“Okay then. Well this has been fun. I’m seriously going to try and avoid this in the future though.”
“Whatever.”
I start to walk away, but turn around to look back at her. I speak once more, “Amy? Do you remember the rest of the night?”
“No - not really. I woke up at Riley’s house. Just figured I had to much to drink or something.”
I turned back around and walked away from the field. I could deal with Riley another day. But Riley’s portion of GHB was used on Amy - so he didn’t drug me. But he still could have raped me.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry that it's short. But I have been really busy with homework. My math teacher is a total moron so I have to teach myself. Thought I'd gie you something during the wait.