Author's Chapter Notes:
I am sooo sorry that it has been forever since I posted. And basically I hate this chapter - but I wanted to show that I was still around. Just having difficulties writing. Sorry it's short.
Spike just sighed heavily and looked at the door. He eventually just leaned against it and stared across the room at me.

I smile at him but continue moving further into the room, disappearing into the crowd. I bumped into Cordelia who was holding two drinks.

“So, are you like dating Spike now?” she asks with an oblivious look on her face.

“Yes, Cordelia.” I respond with a sigh.

“Don’t you think his dad is pretty cool? I mean he through a party - with alcohol - for him. And he is pretty cute,” she said as if we were still friends.

I looked at her in slight confusion but went with it. Her arm extended and within her hand held a blue cup.

“You want one? They said it was sugar-free, but I don’t know.”

I accept the drink cautiously and smile. Maybe she isn’t so bad. I spot Willow standing by a pillar. I head over to her, wondering why she is here. She said herself she doesn’t do parties.

Willow moves forward toward me, “You don’t want to drink that,” she says, pointing at my cup.

“Why?” I question.

“I’m betting Cordelia spat in your drink. She does it to people she doesn’t like. And I’m assuming you are one of those people,” Willow explained.

I just stared down at the blue cup in my hand. Stupid Buffy, thinking for a moment it was an act of kindness - acceptance. That life wouldn’t suck so much. Suddenly, realization dawns.

I walk away from Willow and quickly scout out Cordelia. I grab her arm and pull her around to face me.

“Ow. What are you doing?” She says accusingly.

“Did you spit in my drink the night of your party?” I glare at her while I question her.

“What? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She stares at me, a slight smirk on her face.

“Did you spit in your drink and give it to me at your party last year?” I ask again, my voice rising.

“Like I was the only person’s spit you had in you mouth that night.” She says with a disgusted voice.

[i]Cordelia is sitting at the bar, watching Dru do shots. Conner came up behind her, offering her a drink. He kissed her and hands her the drink. She gets it to her lips and pauses.

“Regular soda? Why didn’t you just fill the cup with lard?”

She starts to put the drink down but then sees me, walking past everyone, making a disgusted face towards Angel. She spits in the drink and holds it out into my path. [/i]

That’s how the drink appeared in my hand. That’s how I was drugged - it wasn’t meant for me. Conner had meant to give it to Cordelia.

“You have no idea what you did to me.” I accuse her.

“Oh my god! I spit in you drink! You are like so scarred for life!” she says, walking off, completely oblivious to the harm she caused.

I just stand there, in shock. No one had targeted me. I continued to stand there, in the middle of the hallway, the party continuing around me.

Giles was at the door, showing a couple out, “Thanks for coming guys. I hope you got something to eat.”

Spike appeared from nowhere, holding out his hands. I take them within my own and he leads me out the back door. We head towards the pool house. I smile as he skips a step and turns to swing me down off it.

Their pool house is small compared to the elites. It only has a bedroom and a small bathroom - usually these things come equipped with a kitchen.

“Now, see, why can’t it just be like this?” He says as he kisses me, “Why do there have to be all those other people in this world?”

He kissed me again and pulls me toward the bed.

I question him, “What are you doing?”

She sits back up on the bed, pulling me with him.

“You’re too short,” he states, “It means I level the playing field.”

I move to sit on his lap and kiss him. “It this where you take all you conquests?” I ask jokingly.
He laughs, “Only the short ones.”

I kiss him again, but after a moment he stops.

“I have to tell you something.”

I try to ignore his statement and continue kissing him, “I’m sorry, we’re past the confesional portion of this program. We’re on to the make-out.”

“Listen, Buffy, stop.”

I stop and look down at him, waiting for him to speak.”

“I gotta….I have to tell you something about Cordelia’s party.”

I just continued to stare at him.

“I was there…for the body shots. I sprinkled the salt and placed the lime. I encouraged the other guys to participate.” he confesses as he refuses to make eye contact.

“I know about the salt lick. I’m gonna choose to think of it as one of those not real things.”

He sighs and then speak again, “There’s more.”

I’m confused. What else could he have done? I look down at him and I can almost see tears forming in his eyes, begging me to forgive him.

I sit back, away from him, confused.

We sit there in silence for what feels like forever. He seems to be thinking of the best way to tell what happened.

He finally takes a deep breath and begins to speak, “During the shots, Angel came over…he pushed some guys off of you and started screaming at me. He was freaking out, and ruining the party. I just wanted him to stop yelling. I put my portion of GHB in a cup with some rum and apologized to him for the shots. Told him he was right, it was no way to have fun. I handed him the cup, a peace offering I said. God, I even said ‘Cheers’ as he drank…I only wanted him to have some fun. God, I am sorry. I can’t believe I did that. It was stupid and horrible. And you should never forgive me.”

He finally finished, tears shinning in his eyes, looking up at me.

“You didn’t know what would happen,” I say to him.

“I’m the one who’s responsible for what happened to you. And I can’t take that I hurt you like that. I can’t take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you.”

I just stared at him. Then slowly I leaned forward and kissed him. After a moment, he held me away.

“I want you to trust me,” he said coarsely.

“I do,” I responded softly.





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