I hate Riley Finn. He is a jock, and one of the rulers of Hate Buffy Land. To top it all off, he’s an inbred moron. In addition, he knows much more than he lets on. He knows about the lying and the cheating here in Sunnydale. He probably knows who killed Dawn. He might have done it.

The day arrives once more, and I approach the school. I walk directly to the bleachers near the field. I know I will find Riley here. He can always be found either on the field or under the bleachers doing drugs or some girl. He is an overbearing bulk of a loser. He even has the southern accent to go with it. Homebred Iowa boy. I hate him.

I stand right next to the bleachers and I look for him. Looks like today is not my day and I am going to have to wait for a bit. He is playing football. I take a spot on the bleachers, fifth row to the left. Some people on the bleachers look at me strangely, some of the players too. Buffy Summers does not do school sports. Not anymore.

I sit there, watching Riley. Finally, from the hints of his team-mates, Riley looks over. I can see he’s slightly shocked, but quickly he covers it up. He yells something to the team and starts to walk over. Didn’t have to wait that long.

“If it isn’t Stuffy Buffy - are ya lost?” he yells over.

I stand up, walk down the stairs, and take my initial position beside the bleachers, “Yeah, as a matter of fact. I was looking for Chemistry - I think I’m in the wrong place but if you wouldn’t mind giving me directions…”

“Oh I’ll show you where to go…” he gets closer. The closer that invades my personal space. He continues, “I’ll just have to talk to my buddies to see who gets to go first.”

I pull something from my bag and hold it between us, it crackles and he looks down. His eyes widen when he sees the charged taser. I smile as he backs up.

“I’ll tell you what - we’ll stop right here.” I say as I hold the taser tightly.

“Aw - baby - it’s a bit too late for that now…” He leers at me.
“Okay - here’s the deal. Leave the new kid alone and I’ll make sure you can still play football with your pals after this little chat.”

“You seem to care for that weak nerd a lot. Things I hear about you, he must really lay the pipe right huh?” He scans me up and down, not the way the secretary did, the way that makes me want to scrub myself clean with bleach.

“Yeah - that’s it.” I smirk.

Riley steps forward again, I raise the taser, making the lightening bar crackle, “Fine - we’ll leave him alone for now. But remember, you ever get lonely being a frigid bitch - Riley love you long time.”

He blows me a few kisses, which I internally cringe at while I give him the thumbs up.

Quite a reputation I’ve got huh? Want to know how I lost my virginity? So do I.

I went to a party at Cordelia Chase’s just to show everyone their whispers and backstabbing didn’t affect me.

I opened the door; everything practically went silent once I entered. Looks of disgust and hatred were thrown at me from all angles. I noticed people I knew, continuing their lives without me.

It was a mistake.

I walked by Angel, who had some random girl all over him. He saw me and I carried a look of disgust on my face as the girl licked his neck. I kept walking. I walked through the large crowd at the bar and a drink randomly appeared in my hand.

I don’t know who handed me the drink. Oh I sooo wish I did. It turns out it was your basic rum, coke, and roofie.

I looked at the cup, and then glanced around the room. Angel was continuing to be groped by the girl, Dru was doing shots at the bar, Harmony was dancing, Conner laughing hard at someone’s joke. I hated it all. I threw caution to the wind - I could be fun and happy too. I brought the cup to my mouth and drank.

I remember nothing after that. I just remember how I woke up.

The sun reached my eyes through the curtains waked me. Confusion covered my face as I took in my surroundings. I was on a bed, partially covered by the bedding. I was still wearing my dress, but it was bunched up around my waist. I notice my underwear on the floor. I cried silently, and then stood, wiping my tears.

I walked home barefoot, the morning light casting a shadow behind me.

I never told my mom. I’m not sure what she would have done, but no good would have come of it. And what does it matter…

I’m no longer that girl.



I am brought back to reality by the school bell. I notice Riley had fully left and was once again on the field. I turn and walk towards the school.

As I trek across campus, my mind wanders. Riley could have killed Dawn.

The knock at the door forced Dawn to leave the comfort of the couch. “I’m coming, hold on!” she yells as the approaches the door.

The knocking continues.

She opens the door and is confused when she sees Riley’s bulky form. “What are you doing here?”

“Aw come on Dawn, we both know why.”

“No - I really don’t - please fill me in.”

“You. Want. Me.”

“Ya. Gone. I want you gone.”

“No - you want to get to know me in the Biblical sense…”

“Really really don’t. Where did you get this insane idea?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at me - that gleam in your eye.”

“That ‘look’ is called repulsion. Get a dictionary look it up,” she said as she turned to close the door.

Riley noticed this and used his foot as a wedge, “No Dawn - what we have is real.”

“Move your foot! What we have is nothing - there is no ‘we’.”

“I’m not leaving till you admit you want me.”

“And what good would that do - I don’t - I will not - EVER! Now please go away. If you leave now I won’t tell anyone of this embarrassing display…”

“No! We belong together!” Riley yelled as he pushed his way into the house.

“Did you hit your head and now think you’re in a soap opera?” Dawn reached behind her and into her back pocket, pulling out her cell phone, “I’m going to call the cops unless you leave RIGHT now!”

Riley grabbed the phone from her hands, throwing it onto the table. He laughed when she backed away.

“Come on Dawn…” He started to walk towards her.

Dawn quickly turned and ran up the stairs but Riley grabbed her foot. She fell to the ground. Using the wall as support, she pulled herself towards her room.

“Let go of me you freak!” Dawn screamed as she used her free leg to kick him. She finally managed to free herself and scrambled to her room.

She almost had the door shut when Riley came crashing in.

“I’m going to scream and everyone is going to hear it - the police will be here any second.”

“You’re not going to scream.”

“Yes I am.” She said as she eyed the phone behind Riley.

Dawn opened her mouth and shut her eyes, about to scream louder than she had before.

Riley noticed this and thought quickly of ways to shut her up. He began to back up but he knocked into a table. He looked at the table briefly, grabbed the phone and swung at Dawn.

She fell to the ground.

“You’re not going to scream.” Riley mumbled as he wiped the phone and any other places he could have left evidence.

He ghosted his hand over Dawn’s hair - careful not to touch her.

“You want me,” he said as he stood up and left.


The terrifying scene in my head floats away. Could Riley have done it? The only thing holding me back to decide it was Riley? Dawn’s autopsy confirmed…she was a virgin when she died. Riley would not have left Dawn like that. He would not have left her ‘pure’.

He would have raped Dawn.





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