Author's Chapter Notes:
here's some more :). Would have updated sooner but went on a short vacation. REMEMBER: reviews make me write faster!

I own nothing : Joss Whedon and Rob Thomas own all!
After a lengthy chat with Willow, I excused myself, as I had to get to work. As I drove downtown to the shop, I tried to sort my thoughts. Did I want Spike to be there? If he were, would he ignore or insult me and pretend nothing happened? Or would he want to talk? I laughed aloud at this thought. Spike wanting to talk? That will happen when Harmony wins the Science Fair.

I finally reach the store and park my car. I notice Giles getting into his car. I wave at him and he repeats the action.

“Sorry Buffy, but I must run. A colleague of mine is arriving at the airport any minute now,” He says as he revs the engine.

“Ah that’s okay Giles - I’ll see you tomorrow then.” I smile and approach the front door.

I briefly wonder if there is a way to open the door without ringing the bell. Maybe I could squeeze through the opening before it hits the bell. I look at the small space…yeah right. Maybe if I had a few ribs removed and you know…didn’t have a chest…

I take a deep breath and open the door, stirring the bell from its position. I cringe. The door closes behind me and I turn to face it. Putting my hands on my hips, I evil glare the bell.

“You’re going to scare the customers if you stand there all night…,” a voice behind me says.

I jump from the unexpected noise, “Ah!” I turn around and set my glare on him, “You are not supposed to sneak up on people! It’s not nice!”

“You would have seen me coming had you not been having a stand off with the door. You would have lost by the way…” Spike answered.

“I was staring at the bell if you wanted to know…”

“Ah that makes it so much better,” Spike chuckles as he turns around and starts emptying a box on the table.

I notice there are a few other boxes next to him, “New shipment in?”

“Yeah…” he said as he continued unwrapping items.

I walked towards the table, taking the box farthest from him. This distance was not far, as the table is quite small.

“Where’s this stuff from?” I question

“Peru, I think.”

“Cool,” I mumble as I start unwrapping some strange statue.

“Mhmmm,” he mumbles back. I can tell he has stopped paying attention.

“So, boring English class today,” I say trying to start some sort of conversation.

He seems to stir from his thoughts. He looks up at me and says “Oh yeah.”

“Guess Dru was smart to skip - did she have a ‘vision’ or something?” I question actually wondering the whereabouts of her.

“I dunno - sure wish she told me if she did. I really wish I didn’t have to sit through that.”

“So where was she - scaring a lowly freshman?”

“I don’t know alright?!” I hissed at me, obviously angry.

“Sorry - just making conversation…” I explained wondering what has him on edge today.

“No, I’m sorry. Just feeling a bit weird today. Didn’t mean to snap.”

“Hey no problem. I’ve taken worse.” I say as I smile slightly at him.

A comfortable silence comes over the shop. The only noise being us unwrapping ‘magical’ items. I finish unpacking my box and move to grab another one. The box is too heavy for me to drag and I move towards it. Once I start unpacking it, I notice how close Spike and I are. He does not seem to notice or care.

“Dru and I broke up today…,” he mumbles.

I am shocked, “Really?”

“Yeah - she said we didn’t fit right. Something about too many puzzle pieces.”

“I’m sorry - not really sure I understand what she was saying but…”

“Ya me either, but I knew it was coming eventually. I mean…she’s not one for love. Didn’t really care for me as much as I did for her,” he confessed as he moved onto another box.

I just stood there, unsure of what to say. Spike loves Dru? I guess it is understandable, just never pictured him as to fall in love quite so quickly. Ah Buffy, you should know better than anyone not to judge to fast.

Spike does not seem to notice my internal confusion and he continues, “It’s okay though. It kinda let’s me off the hook you know?”

“There was a hook?” I question, as I look at him confused.

He chuckles as he looks at my confused face and responds, “Yeah…I don’t have to feel guilty anymore…”

“Feel guilty about what?” I inquire.

“This.” He says briefly as he looks at me.

We stare at each other for a brief moment. He surprises me when he reaches out his hand and touches my cheek. He steps closer towards me. I make no attempt to move away and he lowers his head and kisses me softly.

The kiss last for only a moment but it feels like forever. It is probably the sweetest kiss I’ve ever experienced. We break apart and he rests his forehead against mine.

I laugh lightly and look up at him, “What are we doing?” I question.

Spike smiles at me and whispers to me, “No idea.”

We kiss again, this one still as sweet as the first. We start laughing in the midst of it and break apart.

“We need to talk about this…” I whispered.

“I know…” He replies and leans down for another kiss.

This kiss mirrors the last one and we laugh again.

“Maybe we should just keep this to ourselves for a while and see what happens,” I say hoping I’m not assuming too much.

“Like meet in mop closets? Pass each other secret notes in the hallway? Steal glances during class?”

I smile at him and he returns it. He places his forehead back on mine. We both are unsure of what is happening but we don’t try to stop it.

“Let’s close up early - go get ice cream. Don’t worry I’ll drive on the back streets.” He continued.

I nod and he steps away. After grabbing his coat and turning off the lights, he takes my hand and lightly pulls me out the door. Both of us smiling like fools.




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Ice cream was nice. A bit awkward. I mean why wouldn’t it be? I was getting ice cream and having the occasional make-out session with a guy I hate. Okay…maybe ‘hate’ is a strong word. But if you had told me I would be swapping ice cream kissed with Spike Giles a week ago - I would have had some snarky comment. But when do I not?

It is the last day of the school week now. Friday. Luck was not on my side today. I was late. Today, my alarm decided it wasn’t going to work. Personally, I think that who ever are up there, the powers that be, god, Buddha, anyone - I think they have decided to make my life as hard as possible without me loosing any limbs. But the day is still young.

I just scrapped by without a detention from my math teacher. It is now the afternoon and I have a spare. I usually use this time to finish homework or scout out possible murderers. Today is no different. I’m making my way toward the library when a voice calls out.

“Oh Buffy - can we talk to you for a second?” said Willow as she stood off to the side with another girl.

“Um…sure.” I walk over to the side of the hallway. The hall is empty; no one usually hangs around this time of day. Also, this is the freshman hallway. Freshmen are too scared of being late for class to stay here. Perfect spot to hide out. I discovered this my first week back after Dawn’s death. That week I hadn’t become as tough as I am today. I was weak and I hid. Hid from their laughter, and insults. I hid from the past.

“Hey Buffy - this is Tara…my um…friend,” Willow said as she gestured to the girl beside her.

“Hi, I’m Buffy - but you probably know that…” I say.

“Ya..I..d.ddd..oo.” Tara stutters in response.

“So what can I do for you?”

“Well, we kinda just wanted to tell you something,” Willow explained to me, obviously trying to save Tara from speaking too much.

“Oh? Do tell,” I say trying to not be too obvious that I want to know.

“Well see - there’s this thing going around school about you.”

“Me? A rumour going around school about Buffy Summers? No way!” I joke and they smile but don’t laugh.

“No. Not a rumour. A video,” Willow explains looking embarrassed.

“A video? If it’s my cheerleader try-outs - I’ve hung up my pompoms - I’m all cheered out. I will not join the squad again - I already told them no,” I joke again.

“No not that - something pretty bad. It shows you on a pool chair…some guys are giving you shots. You look pretty out of it…”

“What?” I am disgusted.

“It’s not as bad as it could be…but it is…pretty bad I mean.”

“Where is this video?” I am angered now. Angry and disgusted.

“It’s online now,” Willow says sheepishly.

“Great- I’ve become a downloadable joke,” I say as I wonder how more my life can suck, “Thanks for telling me, but I’m going to go throw up now.”

I practically run away from them. I hope they don’t think I’m too rude. But what would they do if they found out there was an online video of them the night they were raped. I have no doubt it was the same night. What other night do I not remember, yet I wake up with a hangover. But this video will show me who was there.

I run into the first computer lab I find. I sigh in relief as it is empty. It’s strange to Google yourself and find actual results. The video is the first link - not a newspaper article of Dawn’s death. Not some other Buffy Summers who is a painter with a website. A video of me drugged.

I quickly click the link - and wait for it to fully load. I silently praise who ever invented high speed.

I watch the video quickly - I can analyse everything later, in the sanctuary of my own home. For the first time I only want to watch who is giving me shots.

The camera work is sloppy - obviously not a film student. The camera zooms in on me, lying on a pool chair. It is that night. I am in the same outfit. I only wore the outfit once - I burned it after that. A sort of ’cleansing’ ritual. As I said before, I’m no longer that girl. That girl burned with the outfit.

As the video continues, it zooms out to show the rest of the party. There are people in the hot tub and the pool, but no one near me. Eventually a few people approach, shot glasses in their hands. They start pouring them down my throat. Guess they were afraid I was sobering up - how long does a roofie last?

I stop the camera when it shows faces. I sit back in my chair, a sense of satisfaction and of course disgust. Riley Finn’s face laughing into the camera as he pours a shot down my throat.







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I stayed in the computer lab for a bit longer. Just staring at the video - at Riley’s face. I’m not shocked - Riley is just the type of scum to do this. But it doesn’t make it anymore sickening.

I surprise myself by going to my next and final class. I didn’t really pay attention. How could I? I just found a clue as to who could have raped me. I kept playing the video repeatedly in my head. I also tried to recount every memory I have of that night.

When it is nearing the end of the class, I approach the teacher. I say I volunteered to sort the recycling in the caf. And ask to leave early. The teacher agrees and I make my way out of the class and then the school quickly.

I swiftly walk to the parking lot and immediately start searching it. I finally find the car I was looking for. Riley’s. It’s a stupid car actually. It’s expensive of course; the whole front line of the lot is filled with the elite’s cars. These cars cost more than my house. Riley’s car is tiny in comparison to the others. Why would a person so big in body mass want the tiniest car?

The school bell rings. Students start pouring out of all exits. I lean against the hood of the car. I set my stare on Riley, as his bulky form exits the school. He smiles at me and quickly approaches.

“Decided to take me up on that offer then Summers?” Riley says as he steps closer to me.

What is it with this guy and personal space?

“Nope,” I push myself off the car and move away from him, “I just want a simple answer to a simple question.”

“And what would this question be?”

“Who gave you the rohypnol the night of Cordelia Chase’s party?”

Riley looks shocked. I just stare at him, making it obvious I’m not going to leave until I get an answer.

“I - I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Riley finally stutters out.

“I’m sure you do. If you don’t tell me - I will ruin your life. Apparently, you said something about me yesterday in the locker room. Please try to remember I used to be Amy’s close friend. And unless you want a rumour to get out about your um…abilities or lack thereof, you’re gonna tell me who gave you the roofies,” I continue to stare at him, almost hoping he won’t tell me. Just so I can destroy him.

“There weren’t any roofies. It was GHB,” Riley stammers out, “It was Conner. Conner McDonald. He gave it to me.

I do not say anything. I just walk away from him, towards my own car. I hear Riley call out from behind me,

“So we’re okay right? Summers?!?!”

I just keep walking. Conner had GHB? Dawn’s boyfriend had GHB? Dawn’s boyfriend was involved in raping me? I think I’m going to be sick.





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