Author's Chapter Notes:
Title and Summary are subject to change when I think of something better.
Author's Note:

Kinda canon, kinda not. Borrowed certain things, as we tend to do in fanfics. In need of a beta. In this fic, Spike got a bit farther than almost in Seeing Red, but still managed to come to his senses before completing the deed.


Not mine. Just for fun, no profit, all hail Joss Whedon blah blah blah. :)

Chapter .5 : Prologue / Kaboom

“Bum bum bsh! Ba dum ba dum bsh! Ch-ch-ch-ch- Oh! I wanna be sedated!” Buffy wandered in circles around her desk, humming, dancing and picking up whatever clutter she could to stuff into drawers here and there. Donuts, trash- but not before one last bite. Squiggly straws, top left. Manila folders… Top left, why not? “Nothin’ to do, no where to go-oh-ho, oh! Phone! Hello?”

“Buffy! It’s Xander. You gotta get here; Spike’s at it again and I can’t hold him off for much longer.” Click. Xander hung up.


Spike huddled in the corner of Xander’s kitchen, quaking and eyes wild. “NO! I can’t hear you. SOD OFF! I WON’T I WON’T DO THAT. I’M GONNA KILL YOU.” He shouted, and he threw his head backward into the cabinets he was against. He lunged forward across the room where slammed himself against the nearest corner and slid into his previous crouching position. Like a stain, he contrasted the white walls of the apartment.

“Xander! I’m here where is he?” Buffy ran into the apartment. “In here Buffy!” Xander called from the living room. Spike was still camped, quivering in his new corner, and the shouts quieted to shrill pleas. Buffy swallowed a lump of anxiety as she got closer to him. Can he see what’s real this time? Probably not, gotta touch him. Buffy knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder, tentatively. “Spike. Spike it’s me, Buffy. Focus on my voice, my touch. MY touch Spike, focus now.”

By now, this was a regular occurrence, Buffy having to come and calm Spike. Something was playing with him, and doing a nasty job of it. His eyes steadied and settled on Buffy, his anchor. “Are you with me Spike?” “Yeah, yeah I’m here…” He slurred like he really didn’t know what was going on, but it was better than shrieking and sprinting across the house.

He put up his hand to touch Buffy’s, but she darted away as quick as she came. “Am I done?” She asked Xander. “Yeah Buff, but don’t you think it would be easier if he stayed with you? I mean, I wouldn’t ask… But-” Buffy put her hand up to stop any further comment. “He can’t stay at my home. I know it’s hard for you, but I just can’t. Do you understand?” Xander nodded. “Sure Buff.”


Buffy left the apartment numb and bewildered, somewhat betrayed by fate. She wandered for what seemed like half an hour. Actually, 2 hours passed, and early winter night fell.

It’s too soon. Why did he come back? Will there ever be enough time? Kinda. Buffy could still replay the scene moment by moment in her head. Every painful blow inside , physical and emotional rang through her. Her spine shivered, and she wasn’t sure what it was from: remembering, winter chill, or custom spidey-senses.

“Buffy.” Spike called from across the street. She never saw him on the street; he must of cut across yards. His head hung limp off his shoulders and his hands were stuffed loosely into his pockets. “What do you want?” It came out sounding harsher than she wanted, but if it made him leave her to brood in peace, she could forgive herself. His head tilted up with annoyance, letting the brown roots of his badly tussled hair show. “It’s nothing. Thanks for making the crazy thoughts go away Slayer, and I’ll see you next time Harris rings you for the rescue.” Buffy sighed, tired, as Spike strode back through people’s private property.

After a run in with Spike, it was definitely time to go home to Dawn and her yummy sushi pj’s. Actually, just sushi pj’s; Dawn was at Janice’s tonight. Finally, Revello Dr. She practically felt the yummy sushi pj’s already, and cookies, and the couch. It was a good night for sulking, and she was looking forward to it.

She paused for a moment outside her house to bask in the familiarity and safety associated. Sure it hasn’t been that safe a place in reality, but that didn’t change the connection. What did change the connection, not to mention break up her basking moment, was Spike stepping out from behind his tree to bother her –again. “Slayer.” He smirked. Buffy tried to ignore him and continued toward her door, steps closer to cookies, pj’s and couches. “Slayer…” He said again, with more warning, and stepped into her path. “Spike, go away. I’m going to bed and not speaking to you tonight, again.”

“Now now love, I just need to say my piece.” Buffy scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Fine. What is it?” Spike bit his lower lip and sang, “Something’s coming” He hummed, and although his head moved languid around the tether of his neck, his eyes remained still on Buffy’s. “There’s nothing we can do, no no.”

Not again. “Spike, listen to me, are you having an episode? Spike?” Spike raised an open hand to console Buffy’s worries. “Not tonight pet. Just letting you know, it’s here.” He turned around, and that’s when it happened.

Like slow motion, chunks of meat, and other things, launched in every direction. Buffy tried to bat them away, but surprise and shock kept her arms from doing anything but cover her face and close her eyes. A moment passed of expecting chunks of Spike’s meat and bone to cover the slayer, but it never came. She opened her eyes uncertainly, and all she saw was pink mist in Spike’s place. No chunks, or splatter anywhere. Not even dust. “Spike?”

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