Chapter 5
“You can’t.”
Well, that was not what he had expected Buffy to say when she did finally responded to his proclamation. A question of his sureness, maybe; disbelief, sure. Not this, though. Not this…refusal.
“You don’t get to do that.”
“Do what?” Buffy asked.
“Whether or not we…that you can have a say it, but not this. I’m back whether you like it or not. You cannot just bar me from town because you don’t want me around anymore.”
“Is that what you--? That’s not what I…I can’t let you do this, William.”
“This isn’t about you letting me do anything. I’m not asking for your permission. I’m moving back here and I thought I should tell you about it—silly me.”
William made to storm out of her living room. Her house. Her life.
But then he stopped himself.
This was Buffy.
He knew her.
“What’s happened to you?”
“What are you talking about?” she asked incredulously.
“You were always the one telling me not to be scared—telling me to go after what I wanted. And now…I thought you would want this Buffy; want me. The best I can figure is that you either have a boyfriend or…or you like me not being here. So, which is it, Buffy?”
“It’s not…I just…”
“Which one, Buffy?”
“It’s not either one, you moron!”
“Well,” he laughed, “then what is it?”
“I’m scared,” she admitted softly.
“Of who? Is somebody—I swear, if anybody’s hurting you I’ll kill them!”
There was her Will, again. Always so ready to go to war for her.
“No one’s…it’s not someone, Spike; it’s something.”
“Then I’ll fix it.”
Buffy had wondered before if she loved William so much in spite of his…whatever this was, or because of it. She had yet to decide.
“Don’t you think you should know what it is first?”
“Doesn’t matter,” he said quickly; vehemently.
“Mind if I tell you anyway.”
“If you must.”
Buffy smiled and she wasn’t altogether too uncertain that it wasn’t the first time she had really smiled since that day she had realized that William was well and truly out of her life. And just what did that say about her that her happiness depended so much on him?
Well, for one thing, it explained what she was so scared of.
“I can’t take it again.”
“Take what again, love?”
“You leaving! That’s what I’m scared of, okay? You leaving.”
“Why would—I’m not going to leave, Buffy.”
“Yeah,” she said resignedly, “you will. You’ll have your fill of this little break thing, realize it’s not all you think it’s going to be and…you’ll get bored and restless and…and you’ll leave again, William.”
“You think this is just some spur of the moment decision?” he wondered incredulously.
“I know you started this a few weeks ago, but—“
“A few weeks ago?!”
“Fine,” she conceded, “maybe a few months ago.”
“Few years is more like it! This album? This tour? All of it was to get ready for this ‘little break’ of mine, as you’re so keen to call it. I know what I’m doing, Buffy. I’m done with it.”
“You can’t just be done with a dream!”
“You can be when you realize there’s a better one; when you realize it’s not so much a dream anymore as a routine.”
“So you got sick of it?”
“Yes…and no.”
“What’s that supposed to mean.”
“The idea of it still holds a great allure, but…The reality…well the reality of it is, as much fun as I have, as much as I enjoy myself, I know there’s something more.”
“More what?”
“That I want.”
“And what’s that?”
“You. A life with you. Here.”
“And just what is it your propose to do here?”
“You.”
“Funny.”
“Give me some credit here; I’d have something better if I had some sleep. ‘Sides, it’s true.”
“For work, though. What are you going to do for that?”
“I have enough money not to work.”
“Yeah, maybe. But we both know that after a few weeks you’d be crawling the walls.”
“I was thinking I could teach lessons—some piano, some guitar…stuff like that.”
“Are you serious?”
“Completely.”
“So we just pick up where we left off.”
“I know we can’t do that—“
“I thought you said things didn’t change?”
“They—“
“Calm down, Will. I’m just giving you a hard time. It wasn’t a question—the us picking up thing.”
“What’re you saying?”
“If I’d known that all it took to confuse you was to give you what you wanted…”
“What about—“
“I say we decide everything else tomorrow; I’m thinking you could do with some sleep.”
“I don’t,” he said, sounding nervous, “I…I don’t have a hotel booked.”
“I figured as much. Do you have some sort of objection to staying here? With me?”
Both were prepared to use his extreme tiredness as an excuse for why nothing more would happen that night and they did in fact get William settled in Buffy’s old room and Buffy in her current room that used to be her mother’s. Yet, as it turns out, no excuse was needed.
It hadn’t been but ten minutes since Buffy had left Spike in her girlhood bedroom and gone to the one that had been hers for several years now, that she was returning to, what was for that night at least, William’s room.
Buffy didn’t give much thought to her actions which, in this case, was perhaps a good thing; she didn’t give herself time to think about repercussions or timing or anything other than the knowledge that after so long away, William was back.
Not only was he back, but he was ten feet away sleeping in her old bed.
For seven years he had been hundreds if not thousands of miles away from her and now
their separation could be measured in inches.
It would be crazy, not to mention torturous, to maintain any physical distance between them now.
It was with that thought, and only that thought, on her mind that Buffy slowly made her way to Spike’s room, stopping in the doorway.
Buffy started to say something but then realized that she didn’t know what she wanted tos ay; what she wanted to ask. Luckily, though, while Spike did not look like he had been expecting her, he also did not look all that surprised by her presence either and was soon lifting the blanket on his side in a silent invitation.
Spike had forgotten just how good it felt to hold Buffy in his arms. He had known there was something special about it, of course, and knew that nothing with any other woman ever came close to it, but…
Some things memories just couldn’t do justice.
Spike turned so that he was face to face with Buffy and when his lips sought out hers without thought, they both knew that something so natural and easy couldn’t be denied. Buffy still wasn’t sure how it was going to work, but this time…
This time she knew it would work.
Their lovemaking that night was slower, more gentle than it ever had been before; even taking into consideration the night that Buffy had been awoken at three in the morning by Spike throwing rocks at her window, the night that he told her that she was what h would give it all up for.
Seven years apart could have brought a rushed, frenzied effect to their coupling that night but instead of feeling as if they were making up for lost time, both knew that they were instead giving birth to something new. To a relationship that, this time, would last.
They would last.
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TBC.......please review :)
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Author's Chapter Notes:
so sorry about not updating last week...or yesterday for that matter :(