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Dawn was looking for something to eat, when Spike came into the kitchen. “Hi, Spike,” she said, closing the fridge. “How are things with you and Buffy?”

“Dawn,” he said, quietly. “We need to talk.”

“Yes, Dawn,” Buffy agreed from the doorway. “The three of us need to talk about some things. It’s not all stuff you’re going to like.”

Dawn sat at the counter. “Is this about last night?”

Buffy looked at Spike, but he didn’t look at her and it didn’t look like he was going to answer Dawn’s question. Well, this was her first test. She had to tell Dawn what happened. “This is about a lot of things. Not just last night.”

Dawn glanced at Spike, who was sitting next to her, and he looked heartbroken and Buffy looked guilty. Whatever was going on was killing her sister and Spike. “You guys are scaring me,” she said, nervously.

“Spike and I were sleeping together,” Buffy said. She sat down next to her sister at the counter as Spike leaned against the sink.

“That’s all?” Dawn asked, relaxing her shoulders. “Phew. You guys really had me worried.”

Buffy’s brows drew together. “That’s it?”

Dawn giggled. “I don’t care, Buffy,” she said. “It’s about time you two got together.”

“It’s not that simple, Dawn,” Buffy said.

“There is nothing complicated about love, Buffy,” Dawn said.

“There is when only one person in the relationship is in love,” Spike muttered.

“What are you talking about?” she asked. She looked at Buffy. “What is he talking about?”

Buffy bit her lip. Spike’s eyes begged her not to back out, and no matter how hard it was, she wasn’t going to disappoint him. Dawn deserved to know, and Spike deserved to not be a dirty little secret. “I’m not in love with Spike,” she admitted.

Confusion marred Dawn’s face. “Then, why are you sleeping with him?”

“Um… Dawn,” Buffy said. “I told you it was complicated.”

“Don’t do that,” Dawn said, angrily. She stood up. “You don’t sleep with someone just for the hell of it, Buffy. Especially not with someone who loves you like Spike does.”

“Nibblet,” Spike said, taking a step toward her. “It’s not just Buffy’s fault.”

“I know it’s not!” Dawn screamed at him. “You… you abandoned me as soon as Buffy came back. And for what? Nothing.”

“Now, hold on a minute,” Spike said. “You don’t know everything. It’s not like I woke up one morning and decided… ‘Hey, I think I’ll kick Dawn to the curb and jump into bed with Buffy.’ That’s not what happened at all.”

“She doesn’t love you,” Dawn said. “I do. You were my best friend and all you wanted was to get in her pants.”

Spike snarled. “I was wrong for not coming around. But, I didn’t take care of you for all those months so I could have sex with your sister. I didn’t think she would come back. You can’t say that I didn’t care about you.”

“You left me, Spike,” Dawn whimpered, tears in her eyes. “You let Buffy take over. She ruined everything.”

“Dawn, I’ve done a lot of bad things,” Buffy said. She couldn’t let Dawn blame Spike for everything that she had done wrong. “It’s not Spike’s fault that I was so horrible.”

“It’s not Spike’s fault that you didn’t want to be here, either,” Dawn growled. “You had no right to do what you did.”

“You don’t even know what I did,” Buffy said, defensively.

“I don’t need to. I don’t want to know. You hurt him. You bashed his face in. I know you did that to him. He still came to your rescue. How he stays with you, I don’t know. You don’t deserve him.”

“No, I don’t,” Buffy agreed.

“That’s rich, Buffy. Take away the only person who ever loved me because he wanted to. Not because he had to,” Dawn said, stomping toward the stairs. What a bitch. Buffy’s friends would love seeing them together. Not. Buffy deserved to have her heart ripped out and stepped on. Both Buffy and Spike did. She would make sure they both suffered. She passed her room and headed to Willow’s room to reveal the news. Willow would make sure Xander got the news.

***
Buffy looked at Spike. “That didn’t quite go like I thought. Well, I expected her leaving the room like the teenager she is, but I didn’t expect her to be angry with you.”

Spike’s hands were shaking. He wasn’t sure if he was more angry or heartbroken. “No, it didn’t,” he agreed. He met her emerald gaze and he approached the island to cover her hand. “We knew this would be coming sooner or later, even if we didn’t want to. We had to tell her about what has been going on these past few months with us. I hope she’ll forgive us for lying to her.”

“I didn’t want her to be mad at you,” she said. “It wasn’t your fault that this happened.”

Spike shook his head. “She’s right, Buffy,” he said. “I did abandon her and I shouldn’t have. Even though you were back, I still could have been around to keep an eye on her. But, I…you were all I thought about.” He remembered when he saw her on the stairs. “I was overcome with joy at seeing you again.” But, that feeling of happiness, from having her back, was ruined once he found out she’d been torn from heaven.

She came to him for comfort, and that was something he’d been craving for a year. Once they fell into their awful habit, he realized that she didn’t actually care about him. Until now. She was willing to turn things around, and start clean with him, starting with her friends. That was more then he could ask for.

He did forget about the younger Summers’ girl, and he was unsure of how to patch things up with her. He thought his job was over once Buffy came back. He still could have come over to hang out with Dawn. His guilt was already eating away at him from that. He hadn’t realized what Buffy’s return had done to Dawn. Only what it had done to him and Buffy herself.

Maybe he’d really never be good enough for either of them. Everything that he did, always ended up in someone getting hurt. He couldn’t make one girl happy without hurting the other.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said, pulling her hand away from his, as she looked around the kitchen before coming to rest on his face.

His eyes became distant and he was obviously thinking about Dawn.

This was all her fault and she didn’t deserve comfort. “I’m going to make it right.”

“You might not be able to,” he said.

“But I have to try, Spike,” she said. “Dawn needs us both in her life, and she is going to have her teenage girly fit right now, and then she will come around. She’s just like me when I was her age. I’m going to talk to her and make things right.”

“Dawn needs to forgive us. We have to prove to her that we deserve it.”

Buffy sighed and nodded. “You’re right. You’re right.”

Spike sat next to her, but didn’t touch her. She pulled away for a reason, and he didn’t want to push her farther away when their bond was so fragile right now. Being with Buffy was like walking on glass. He didn’t want to upset her, or cause her to change her mind about wanting to be with him. He was so used to doing what he wanted. Even with Drusilla. Now with Buffy, he had to make sure he didn’t step out of line; vice versa, he did the same with her.

Buffy thought proving something to Spike would be hard enough, now she had to prove to Dawn that she deserved to be forgiven for turning to Spike and taking him away from her. What a day. And, it had only just started.





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