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Chapter 27

Spike walked to his car lost in thought. On one hand he had Fred, who he'd been in a commitment relationship with for well over a year. And admittedly they've had their problems, but Spike was willing to work on fixing them. He just didn't understand her unwillingness to walk away from Professor Wyndam-Price. Spike got in the car and headed home. Fred assured him that there was nothing going on between her and Professor Wyndam-Price. Spike however, being hard pressed to call her a liar had caught the way Professor Wyndam-Price looked at her when he didn't think anyone would notice.

Spike ignored the little voice that questioned why he was still in this relationship. Especially with Buffy back in the picture. He had to admit she looked glorious tonight. As he stole glances of her throughout the evening he had on more then one occasion the urge to just walk up to her and wrap his arms around her. To press her body to his and envelope himself in her scent. But he didn't-- couldn't. He thought back and realized that he didn't even touch her once. He didn't think he could control himself if he did. He missed the feel of her, the scent of her, the taste of her. His mind briefly touch on Dru...Harmony. He wondered not for the first time, his choices in partners. Was there something in him that sought out these unhealthy relationship? Did he like the pain? Even now, with Fred.... Spike sighed as his car roared down the boulevard.

When Spike pulled up to his house he saw that Fred had left a light on for him and felt a flood of affection for the southern girl. Yeah, Buffy was part of his past, he was with Fred now. Spike did he best to ignore that little voice that protested.

****In the doorway Buffy stood smiling softly, her golden hair loose on her shoulders. The morning sun shone all around her, bathing her in it's light. She was leaning casually against the wall arm folded Buffy regarded him and after a moment she reached out silently to him and without question without hesitation, he went to her. As if for the first time he breathed a ragged breath. Her scent was intoxicating and her bronze skin was warm to his touch as he ran is hands up from around her waist to cup her face. His voice caught in his throat as he whispered, “I've been dead for so long.” Buffy eyes danced with joy as she leaned in towards him.****

Spike woke with a start and her name on his lips. He looked around hoping Fred hadn't heard him. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the shower. “One night. It took you one night and your back. Get out of my head Buffy,” Spike whispered to himself. “Get out of my bloody head.” He brought his hands up to face and fell back on his pillow. In the bathroom with the shower running forgotten, Fred stood wrapped in her towel, tears in her brown eyes.





Later that day Buffy once again found herself at the Sunnydale Mall. She was meeting Xander and his new girlfriend for lunch. Both Willow and Cordelia tried to warn her about Anya. But listening to Xander talk about her the night before, she knew that he was serious about this one. Buffy's steps slowed as she walked past Kam’s Naughty Girl. She peered through the window watching the women pawing though the various undergarment. She felt her face get warm thinking of the last time she was in that stupid store.

***The pretty blond walked up to Buffy and smiled. “Can I help you find something, miss?”

Buffy turned and meekly said “I want to get something special for my boyfriend.” She picked up two different sets, “I mean do I go for virginal,” her eyes rested on the white nightie, “or do I go for the hottie.” She smiled down at the black lace number.

“Well my suggestion is to think of your guy. What kind of night are we talking about.” To Buffy panicked expression she hastily added, “Oh I understand what you have planned. What I'm asking is what kind of memory will this be. Every time you look at the outfit you're going to think of the first time you wore it. That look on his face the first time he sees you in it.” Buffy smile shyly “Now, which one will it be?” After a moments hesitation she made her choice. The saleslady smiled back at Buffy, “Very good. Now, will that be cash or charge?”****

Buffy blinked back tears as she turned away from the window. She hurried to the food court to meet Xander and his new girlfriend. As she approached the couple Xander stood up and Anya ran a nervous hand through her chestnut hair. “Hey you,” Buffy said to the dark haired man. Turning to the nervous woman she stated, “and you must be Anya. I've, huh, heard a lot about you.”

Both of their faces fell as Anya asked quietly, “Oh, you have?”

“I'd like to start this conversation with saying, whatever they said isn't true. Well maybe a little true but out of content.” Xander sat down as Buffy joined them.

“Willow doesn't like me very much because I sleep with Xander and I enjoy it a lot. I told her if she wanted to sleep with him she should have done it before I came around, because it's too late now.” Xander sighed as he shrugged his shoulders at Buffy. “You're doing that sighy thing again.” She looked back at Buffy saying. “Xander feels that I am too open with my appreciation of all the orgasms that he gives me. When he sighs I know I should start talking about the weather or a local sports team. So Buffy, do you like the cold or the hot weather and what about that hockeyfootballbasketball game last night?”

Buffy opened her mouth to reply when Anya interjected, “Baseball. Did I say baseball too?” She turned to Xander and said “I always forget baseball. Really, I shouldn't because it is America's favorite pass time. That and sex, of course.” Buffy once again opened her mouth to respond when Anya continued, “Actually I think sex is the true all American favorite pass time. We pass a lot of time with sex. When there's nothing on TV, when I'm sad, when we are waiting for the pizza guy to--”

“Anya!” Xander said sharply, bringing a slight frown of confusion to her brow. In a softer voice he continued, “I think Buffy wanted to say something.” The duo turned their eyes towards Buffy waiting for her to speak.

“Actually, I was going to say that they hadn't said too much about Anya.” Buffy smiled sheepishly at the duo as she realized this was going to be a long lunch.

Afterwards Buffy watched as Anya and Xander walk away hand in hand. “That wasn't too bad,” she said to herself. If you could look past the x-rated language (seriously, who doesn't know that dildos weren't appropriated lunch conversation?) it was obvious that Anya was crazy for Xander, and he for her. Wow, Cordelia had Angel, Willow had Oz and even Xander had someone. Buffy tried not to feel sorry for herself as she made her way to her mom's car.

Now that she didn't have Anya and Xander to distract her, her mind went to Spike and the hurtful words he said the night before. Those words caused her tears all the way home. But now in the light of day something about the whole conversation just didn't ring true to Buffy. It was like he was trying to hurt her, to push her away. While her mind digested that thought Buffy saw a familiar brown head. Sitting in an over sized chair in a bookstore was Fred. Buffy watched as she absently flipped through a small brown book in front of her. Suddenly a strikingly handsome brown haired gentleman knelt next to her. What happened next caused Buffy to raise an eyebrow. He took Fred's hand in his and slowly stood her up. Fred then threw herself in his arms and buried her head in his chest.





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