[Reviews - 189]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2236 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they all made me smile. Thank you to dusty273 for betaing again :) *hugs*
Chapter 7: I miss you mommy…




The gates of Restfield cemetery were open and inviting. At least as open and inviting as cemetery gates could be. The air was cold, the kind of cold that bites your cheeks and lips when you step outside the first time. Buffy thought it was appropriate for the day. She always hated sunny days when she had gone to visit her parents before. It felt like the world was smiling and moving on with life and joy while she was stuck in a cloud of gloom.

Squaring her shoulders and giving Dawn’s hand an encouraging squeeze she faced the walkway that led to her parents’ grave. Spike walked beside Dawn so she was sandwiched between them. If all else failed, you always protected the youngest. Dawn was solemn, staring straight ahead the whole walk, clutching her bouquet of flowers in her free hand.

The trio approached the gravestones, Joyce and Hank Summers, beloved father and mother staring blankly out. Buffy let go of Dawn and approached the stone, kneeling down in front of it. She reached out a shaky finger and traced the names, one after the other. She felt Dawn come up beside her, and watched as she copied her earlier actions. She looked over at her little sister, still such a baby, and was struck by the thought that she would never really remember their mom, not as she would.

Standing quickly and swaying slightly as a wave of dizziness hit her. Spike was at her side in half a second, his strong arms holding her up. Buffy looked into his calm, understanding eyes, her own green ones swimming with tears. He reached up a hand and cupped her face, pulling her closer to his chest, offering support without words. She gratefully accepted.

“Will mommy and daddy really read my letters?” Dawn looked up at the pair with wide eyes.

“Of course, little bit,” Spike replied with ease, arm around Buffy. He knelt down next to Dawn, pulling Buffy down with him. “If you ever want to say anything to them while you’re here, all you gotta do is close your eyes real tight and listen real hard, and they’ll talk to you.”

“Really?” Dawn’s features lit with hope. Her eyes shifted from Spike to Buffy.

“Really, Dawnie, I talk to mom all the time,” Buffy assured her. “You don’t even have to be here, you can do it at home, too.” Dawn smiled and turned to the gravestone, shutting her eyes tightly, face screwed up in concentration. She stayed like that for a couple of minutes before relaxing and leaving her letters and flowers propped up against the stone.

Spike watched Dawn’s concentrated expression and felt an echo of the sadness which had assailed Buffy earlier. He realized that Dawn would grow up without too many ‘real’ memories of her own mother, Buffy would have to provide her with stories and the rest would be what Dawn made up herself. He didn’t believe she’d have any memories at all of their father, considering how young she’d been when he died. He pulled Buffy closer to his body when he felt her body shake lightly in the cool air.

“Sorry,” Buffy whispered. “It’s just a little too much.”

“’S okay, I’ve got ya.”

“Thanks.” Dawn turned around to look at her sister and Spike. Buffy looked at her with tears streaking down her cheeks, giving her a wobbly smile. “My turn?”

“Yeah, mommy asked me who Spike was,” Dawn looked over to where their mother’s name was written.

“Did she?” Buffy said as she kneeled closer to the gravesite, one hand touching the cool marble. “And what did you tell her?”

“That he found me but she said she knew that. She had helped him find me so that I wouldn’t be lost anymore,” Dawn walked over to where Spike had settled down on the ground.

“Well tha’s right nice of her then bit,” Spike smiled at the girl as she crawled onto his lap. “Allowed me to find my girls did she?”

“Your girls?” Buffy offered him a raised eyebrow and a small smile.

Blushing, Spike made a show of arranging Dawn comfortably on his lap. “If you don’ mind that is.”

Buffy just smiled and turned toward the gravestones. She closed her eyes and let the peace of the moment wash over her. She felt the caress of the cool wind on her cheeks and sighed. She knew the coming years would be very hard. Dawn would grow out of her sweet little sister stage and into a raging teenage hormone bomb full of rebellious indignation. But that time was far away and the breeze seemed to whisper soothing words of encouragement.

‘Mommy, I miss you so much,’ Buffy thought, concentrating on her mother’s face. ‘I don’t know if I can do all of this. Raise Dawn, finish school like you wanted me to, and take care of the gallery. I love you so much, and I am still angry that you left us. I’m just so scared. What if I screw it all up? Raise Dawn wrong? Flunk out of school? I wish you were here to see the tree this year. And the turkey that I cooked, with a little help of course. And like Dawn, I wish you had met Spike and Giles too. You’d love them, they have that inner light you always talked about. But I understand mommy. After today I know things’ll be okay. You just have to keep looking out for us. We can’t do this without you…’ She wiped away the tears as they fell and placed her bouquet alongside Dawns. As she leaned forward to touch her mother’s stone she could swear she felt the wind kiss her cheek.

She reached into her pocket and pulled out the small box that her mom had wrapped for her. Untying the bow and carefully pulling the paper free of the tape, she uncovered a small black jewelry box. A note pinned on top read, “To help light the road ahead, I believe in you. Love, Mom.”

Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks as she read the note. She opened the box and gasped as she saw the beautiful diamond pendant that lay inside. She reached into the box with trembling fingers to pull out the chain. The stone caught the light and sparkled elegantly against a white gold setting. She had no idea how her mom could have afforded to buy her this. She thought it was too precious for her to have, but vowed there and then to keep it as her most prized possession.

Spike gently extricated Dawn from his lap and kneeled beside her in silence. She looked into his eyes and held up the pendant. Smiling softly he reached for it and fastened it around her neck. As to not disturb her moment, he retreated back to where Dawn was sitting, placing his fingers to his lips to quiet her.

Buffy looked fondly at her mother’s stone and let out a deep sigh, “Merry Christmas Mom and Dad. We miss you.” She rose off her knees and looked over to where Spike and Dawn were sitting quietly. Both were watching her, and she smiled warmly at them.

“Ready to go?” Buffy dusted off her pants after standing, “I’m sure Giles has almost finished with the turkey by now.”

“Sure, luv,” Spike replied as he stood up, picking Dawn up in the process.

“Lookit!” Dawn’s joyful cry brought Buffy’s eyes away from Spike’s to her sister. Dawn was pointing up at the sky, “Mommy made it snow!”

And indeed, small white flakes were falling from the normally clear California sky.

“Well tha’s the last thing I expected. Beautiful job she did your mum,” Spike said to Dawn as they started making their way back to the cemetery gates. “I’m sure if this keeps up you’ll be able to make those lil’ snow angels soon.”

Dawn’s beautiful childish laughter rang through the quiet cemetery letting a little joy seep into the otherwise somber atmosphere. When Spike grabbed Buffy’s hand, she knew that her mom was indeed looking over them today.





You must login (register) to review.